Wreaking Haddock

[Carlisle]

After walking the streets of the old mining town for the majority of the afternoon, eventually Julia, Joshua and Amy found refuge in a small residential building. Harsh noises of screams, of shouting, of shooting, filled their ears as they echoed through the four walls around them. As the cold evening and dark night rolled in, the trio kept sheltered and took turns keeping lookout. Julia didn't mind taking the majority of the shift, Joshua's gun felt more and more at home in her cold hands as the days had passed, and besides she resisted the urge to sleep, fighting her body urging itself to collapse in to the land of dreams.

If she fell asleep it meant morning would come sooner. Amy still had no idea about the crime she had committed against poor Przemek earlier that day and it was only a matter of time until the terrorists made their morning announcement and painted her act as malevolence. She spent most of her time awake that night pondering what heinous words were going to be used to describe her murder. In some ways, until that happened she was able to live in denial. Joshua and her were the only ones, alive, who knew what happened and the residue of her scars could only perforate her brain so much. It wasn't that she was unrepenting, she just felt happiest when living in her blissful ignorance, and for that her mind was also able to manipulate itself from within, manifesting those thoughts of comfort around Joshua and blocking out the look on Przemek's disfigured face as she smashed the brick back and forth in to it.

But there was an unavoidable elephant in the room.

Sure enough, shortly after sunrise the announcement blared. Given how early in the morning it was she wasn't too surprised with the news that she was the first one of the day. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

Julia's blood ran cold when her deeds were exposed; Przemek's name being mentioned sending her spiralling back towards reality. Half a second later, it was her own name announced and it felt like cold lead smashing through her body. She hadn't been shot, at least she didn't think she had in that split second, but she imagined that this is exactly how that would feel. A bitter taste of regurgitated bile and blood seeping from her metaphoric wounds. The terrorist called her a coward... maybe she deserved that. It wasn't a lie, after all. Others were willingly ripping shreds from each other, gruesomely murdering their neighbours and classmates, meanwhile she took the easy route out and got the kill she needed from a mortally wounded blind boy.

Luckily Joshua was there to explain the situation and calm down their other companion who rightfully was shocked by the announcement that she was in the company of not just one killer, but two.

He was good like that.

It came as a surprise, that apparently the sadistic viewers had voted her for the 'Best Kill Award' of the day. A cruel joke at her expense, she grimaced as she thought of the incels enjoying watching her break down, her innocence die. She was the punchline. It wasn't funny. She didn't even want the prize, the meal sounded great as they always did but she would take safety and staying with Joshua over any of that.

He was the only one who understood.

And yet, he ushered her from the building out of the door, forced her out in to cold to collect her prizes. She understood why, but it still hurt. She didn't want to leave him despite his insistence.

"What if this is the last time I ever see you?" Julia mumbled in to his shoulder, tears trickling down her rosy cheeks.

The rest was a blur behind the fogginess of her tear-drenched, almond eyes. One final embrace was all she could stomach, clinging to his warm flesh in one last flustered attempt at being able to stay by his side. Before she left, the pair took out their maps and agreed a place to meet later in the day once she had journeyed back from the mine. A few hours was all it needed to be, before they were reunited.

As she walked in to the distance, she turned for one final glance. Joshua's golden hair glowing in the morning sun became her final memory of him until they meet again.

[S119 - Julia Guercio - continued from By some unrecorded and powerful hand]

Cold air carried Julia through the other side of the town and down the winding path towards the mine. She kept her wits about her, afraid somebody would be waiting just outside of the danger zone waiting to take their shot. She wouldn't have put it past Salem to get his revenge on her after the terrorists announced her whereabouts for all to hear. The closer she got the more nervous she became, her heartbeat speeding in time with her steps. It wasn't just enemies that may be seeking vengeance like Salem or Karin, it was also the bloodthirsty killers that were repeat offenders on the announcements.

The Katelyn's, the Jezzie's.

The vivid haze that clouded her during the announcement hadn't given her any time to think about any of the others. The rush of adrenaline felt alien to her, yet distracted her completely from the other familiar names on there. Her friend Karen Nguyen had killed somebody too, shot apparently. Knowing Karen, she knew that she would never do something like that intentionally. And the other name that hit hard was Chiara Masina. On paper, they should've been closer friends than they were, but Julia's heart hurt for her. Hurt for her family that had a final answer that their daughter wouldn't be coming back home. Hurt for Chiara, who's fateful encounter with mass-murderer Katelyn Graves had been her last. She hoped it was quick.

Eventually she made it to the changing room, her anxiety of her collar malfunctioning and blowing her up accidentally hadn't passed at all so she knew she needed to be quick. The nausea that she had been feeling for days didn't subside when she got the scent of the haddock that was stinking out the room, if anything it made her feel worse. It smelled delicious and disgusting at the same time, a fishy perfume darkening the air around the plate. But still she got stuck in. The fish was cooked beautifully, the goodness of the meal refreshed her completely and made her feel like a new person. Each bite in to the haddock melting in her mouth.

Either she was completely starved from the lessening rations they had to play with, or this was the best meal she had ever had.

Julia took a second to let the dust settle around the plate, now emptied of each ounce of mashed potato. With her stomach full, she made her way over to the table where a wooden box was situated. She pulled the top of the box open and it revealed her 'prize'.

Inside was some kind of assault rifle that you saw in the movies or on the news, it wasn't just a small handgun that Republicans would argue is there to protect themselves. This was a killing machine, it's only purpose was to kill. The note beside the weapon called it a Howa Type 20. It didn't really matter, all she knew was that she finally had something that wasn't Joshua that she could defend herself with.

It was big.

Intimidating.

She fumbled the handle through her fingers as they got acquainted with one another. Gripping hold of the firearm didn't feel as scary as she had expected, maybe the practice of Joshua's gun had helped her grow more confident in being armed herself. The cartridge slid in to the slot and she lifted it out its cage, continuing to familiarise herself with the handle, the trigger, the scope, the beams on each side she assumed were used to place it down on the ground and make use of a vantage point.

For the first time since waking up on the island, she had something she could use to properly defend herself. No more ice cream.

Whether she had the conviction to actually use it or not was a completely different question.

But she didn't feel as weak and useless as before.

[S119 - Julia Guercio - continued in FUBAR]