Kai slowly and painfully rolled onto his back, blinking up at Kitty. He didn't say anything for a long moment. Could begin to think of anything to say. He couldn't even immediately be sure that he really was seeing and hearing Kitty in front of him. She was little more than a blur through his broken, blood-splattered glasses anyway, but her voice was unmistakable.
But it was wrong. Her tone, the words she was saying. Like everything was normal. Like Kai wasn't laying next to a fresh corpse with his head spinning. Like Cali-
"Cali!" Kai bolted up into a sitting position. Mistake. His head throbbed with a vengeance at the movement, but he did his best to push through it, clambering over to where Cali still laid motionless. His glasses were worse than useless at this point for getting a good look at her, and he swiped them off of his face and into the snow with a growl.
Cali was breathing. Her face was pale, the shoulder wound made his stomach churn, and she seemed to have hit her head pretty hard, but she was breathing.
That made the decision for him. "Yes," he croaked. "Please. You can take care of this better than I can."
Questions, accusations. Kai had plenty of both. They could wait. Anything could wait, if Kitty's offer was sincere. Maybe Cali would have refused her help, but Kai would have made a deal with the literal devil then and there if that was what it took to save Cali's life.
To Skin A Cat
Day 11 midday, Private
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
"Of course," Kitty purred, as she followed Kai over to California's side.
She tossed her bag into the snow, setting the rifle down next to it, while allowing the grenade launcher and shotgun to hang off of her by their straps. Crouching down, she quickly assessed California's condition to the best of her ability. Unconscious, but still breathing. Nasty shoulder wound, bleeding quite badly. No easily visible head injury, but a small amount of blood left behind on the log where she hit her head. Her shoulder could've been much worse, but it would likely still impair her arm movements for the rest of her (short) life. At least the head injury wasn't immediately visible, so it couldn't be nearly as bad as the one Kitty had inflicted on Robin all those days ago.
Without a word, Kitty went about getting out her medical supplies, stitches, disinfectant, bandages, laying them out next to her friend. She crouched down next to her, and dutifully got to work administering first-aid, as she had so many times before.
"Sorry about your glasses, by the way," she said, while peeling away the fabric around Cali's bullet wound and cleaning the skin. "That's really gonna be tough going forward..."
Kitty knew that helping Kai and California was actively detrimental to her. She had known that from the moment she arrived, yet she had intervened anyway. Even if they had to die eventually for her to go home, ignoring them when they needed her was a line she couldn't bring herself to cross. They had always been there for her when she had needed them back home, so she owed them both this, at least.
Plus, she still needed closure.
"So," she started to say, half-scowling, gaze still focused on Cali's bullet wound as she began to suture it closed. "Why did you... abandon me?"
She tossed her bag into the snow, setting the rifle down next to it, while allowing the grenade launcher and shotgun to hang off of her by their straps. Crouching down, she quickly assessed California's condition to the best of her ability. Unconscious, but still breathing. Nasty shoulder wound, bleeding quite badly. No easily visible head injury, but a small amount of blood left behind on the log where she hit her head. Her shoulder could've been much worse, but it would likely still impair her arm movements for the rest of her (short) life. At least the head injury wasn't immediately visible, so it couldn't be nearly as bad as the one Kitty had inflicted on Robin all those days ago.
Without a word, Kitty went about getting out her medical supplies, stitches, disinfectant, bandages, laying them out next to her friend. She crouched down next to her, and dutifully got to work administering first-aid, as she had so many times before.
"Sorry about your glasses, by the way," she said, while peeling away the fabric around Cali's bullet wound and cleaning the skin. "That's really gonna be tough going forward..."
Kitty knew that helping Kai and California was actively detrimental to her. She had known that from the moment she arrived, yet she had intervened anyway. Even if they had to die eventually for her to go home, ignoring them when they needed her was a line she couldn't bring herself to cross. They had always been there for her when she had needed them back home, so she owed them both this, at least.
Plus, she still needed closure.
"So," she started to say, half-scowling, gaze still focused on Cali's bullet wound as she began to suture it closed. "Why did you... abandon me?"
It was a slow stirring with a backing beat by the steady electronic beep of a heart rate monitor that had soundtracked California's first return to consciousness. It had only been a year and change prior. Not that long in the grand scheme of a life, but an eternity when you'd only been alive two decades. She'd awoken in a hospital bed, woozy and unaware of the financial damage her accident had caused her family. Her parents and Salem had been around, but actually waking up had only been the first step of a process that took multiple months. Her back had been broken and her legs mangled, the solution was a timetable of rehab and physiotherapy, along with a steady diet of medications to help combat the pain of attempting to rehabilitate her injuries. Trapped in that bed with only her family and the occasional friend visiting had been tough, she'd lost, gained, lost, and then gained weight again and failed her final year of high school due to a combination of depression resulting from the crash and just giving up. The silver lining was that California would have been able to get her GED, and no one would have begrudged her that. But she had wanted to prove a point, both to herself and everyone else, that she could graduate.
This brought her to the second return to consciousness, with someone calling her name as she lay sprawled out on cold, wet ground. The sun shone directly in her eyes as the lids fluttered open, momentarily blinding her to her surroundings. The light only added to the throbbing headache she'd woken up with. Instead of waking up to family, she was instead greeted by the terrified face of Kai, all the color having drained away, and without his glasses. He looked unwell as if he was going to collapse at any moment. California considered saying something about it but found figuring out any words to use difficult, especially with the sun stomping on her face.
The ache in her shoulder then went from an ache to a burn as something was pressed down on it, and California's head slowly tipped over to see the cause. It took a few seconds for her to comprehend Kitty being there, and what she was doing. Her initial reaction was to try and jerk her away from the murderer but her body didn't respond. Instead, the pain leapt from her shoulder into her neck and back into the migraine she'd been gifted for waking up.
There was a lot California wanted to say, but none of the words came to her. Instead, she returned her focus to Kai, as the pain in her shoulder continued to rise and started to snap across her chest, drawing low moans of pain.
Kai had blood on him. She needed to make sure he was ok.
But she only got as far as opening her mouth before someone put the sun out.
This brought her to the second return to consciousness, with someone calling her name as she lay sprawled out on cold, wet ground. The sun shone directly in her eyes as the lids fluttered open, momentarily blinding her to her surroundings. The light only added to the throbbing headache she'd woken up with. Instead of waking up to family, she was instead greeted by the terrified face of Kai, all the color having drained away, and without his glasses. He looked unwell as if he was going to collapse at any moment. California considered saying something about it but found figuring out any words to use difficult, especially with the sun stomping on her face.
The ache in her shoulder then went from an ache to a burn as something was pressed down on it, and California's head slowly tipped over to see the cause. It took a few seconds for her to comprehend Kitty being there, and what she was doing. Her initial reaction was to try and jerk her away from the murderer but her body didn't respond. Instead, the pain leapt from her shoulder into her neck and back into the migraine she'd been gifted for waking up.
There was a lot California wanted to say, but none of the words came to her. Instead, she returned her focus to Kai, as the pain in her shoulder continued to rise and started to snap across her chest, drawing low moans of pain.
Kai had blood on him. She needed to make sure he was ok.
But she only got as far as opening her mouth before someone put the sun out.
Cali stirred and looked him in the eyes, but only for a moment. She looked like she was trying to say something, but her eyes rolled back again before any words made it out. Kai grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly. Didn't know if she could even feel it. Didn't matter.
"I can see," he muttered to Kitty without looking at her. He became aware of small red droplets pattering into the snow beneath him, and he wiped his nose with the back of his free hand. The dead girl had busted it on the left side when she headbutted him, along with breaking his glasses, and he could taste blood as it ran down his face. It didn't feel broken, but he could barely bring himself to care at this point.
He could see. Not well enough to drive or anything, but he could see. The world just looked like it had a soft filter over everything. He'd found comfort in that at times. He'd gone a long time not knowing he needed glasses when he was a kid. When he'd finally gotten some, it had unsettled him to see how much sharper the world looked.
His thoughts meandered away from Kitty's question. He was aware of the expectant silence. Aware he shouldn't be pushing her buttons when she had Cali's life in her hands. Both their lives. She'd killed another person right in front of him and acted like she'd just swatted a fly.
Kai might have been numb enough by now that every new name and death didn't cut him as deeply, but he was still human enough to feel sick about it. To feel the weight on his shoulders. Kitty had shrugged it off, but he hadn't. He wouldn't let himself.
"Me being there wasn't making anything better. You just-" He cut himself off and rephrased. "I was just- a new reason that you kept killing people. It didn't matter what I said, so I thought maybe- maybe if I made it harder, and showed you that I wasn't going to keep just- enabling that, you'd understand."
And you didn't, the unspoken end of the statement hung heavy over their heads.
"I can see," he muttered to Kitty without looking at her. He became aware of small red droplets pattering into the snow beneath him, and he wiped his nose with the back of his free hand. The dead girl had busted it on the left side when she headbutted him, along with breaking his glasses, and he could taste blood as it ran down his face. It didn't feel broken, but he could barely bring himself to care at this point.
He could see. Not well enough to drive or anything, but he could see. The world just looked like it had a soft filter over everything. He'd found comfort in that at times. He'd gone a long time not knowing he needed glasses when he was a kid. When he'd finally gotten some, it had unsettled him to see how much sharper the world looked.
His thoughts meandered away from Kitty's question. He was aware of the expectant silence. Aware he shouldn't be pushing her buttons when she had Cali's life in her hands. Both their lives. She'd killed another person right in front of him and acted like she'd just swatted a fly.
Kai might have been numb enough by now that every new name and death didn't cut him as deeply, but he was still human enough to feel sick about it. To feel the weight on his shoulders. Kitty had shrugged it off, but he hadn't. He wouldn't let himself.
"Me being there wasn't making anything better. You just-" He cut himself off and rephrased. "I was just- a new reason that you kept killing people. It didn't matter what I said, so I thought maybe- maybe if I made it harder, and showed you that I wasn't going to keep just- enabling that, you'd understand."
And you didn't, the unspoken end of the statement hung heavy over their heads.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
And you didn't.
Kai didn't need to say those words for Kitty to understand that was his conclusion. It hurt hearing him talk about her as though she was an addict, unable to stop a bad habit, when it was all she could do under the circumstances. He was too nice, too good, traits that had drawn her to him to begin with, but were actively impairing him under their present circumstances. She had already accepted that by his very nature, he was never going to understand, so she wasn't going to argue with him.
Instead, she let out a half-amused and half-frustrated snort as she finished stitching Cali's shoulder back together.
"Fair enough," was all she said in response, quiet and dismissive.
Kitty grabbed a fistful of gauze and began bandaging the wound, wrapping them in tight layers around the injury. Cali had woken up, briefly, though Kitty couldn't tell if she had recognized her. It was a good sign of her friend's future prospects, at least until something or someone else got her, but she hoped that recognition hadn't been there. She made a promise that Cali wouldn't see her again, and she intended to keep it, in spite of present circumstances.
"It's fine," Kitty continued, as she finished up her work on California. "You helped me, in a way. Ash had told me that I couldn't rely on you, and you proved it. It... broke my heart to come to terms with that, but I got through it, and now I understand and accept what I have to do. So I forgive you."
She took her hands off of Cali, and wiped them of her friend's blood with some spare gauze, before extending them towards Kai, as though she were holding them out for him to give her something.
"Now, c'mon, lemme see your injuries."
Kai didn't need to say those words for Kitty to understand that was his conclusion. It hurt hearing him talk about her as though she was an addict, unable to stop a bad habit, when it was all she could do under the circumstances. He was too nice, too good, traits that had drawn her to him to begin with, but were actively impairing him under their present circumstances. She had already accepted that by his very nature, he was never going to understand, so she wasn't going to argue with him.
Instead, she let out a half-amused and half-frustrated snort as she finished stitching Cali's shoulder back together.
"Fair enough," was all she said in response, quiet and dismissive.
Kitty grabbed a fistful of gauze and began bandaging the wound, wrapping them in tight layers around the injury. Cali had woken up, briefly, though Kitty couldn't tell if she had recognized her. It was a good sign of her friend's future prospects, at least until something or someone else got her, but she hoped that recognition hadn't been there. She made a promise that Cali wouldn't see her again, and she intended to keep it, in spite of present circumstances.
"It's fine," Kitty continued, as she finished up her work on California. "You helped me, in a way. Ash had told me that I couldn't rely on you, and you proved it. It... broke my heart to come to terms with that, but I got through it, and now I understand and accept what I have to do. So I forgive you."
She took her hands off of Cali, and wiped them of her friend's blood with some spare gauze, before extending them towards Kai, as though she were holding them out for him to give her something.
"Now, c'mon, lemme see your injuries."
Kai stared at Kitty for another long moment, stunned again but for different reasons than before.
He complied with her entirely on autopilot, shifting to first stretch out his right leg so she could examine where the bullet had grazed the back of his calf. His body moved mechanically while his mind stuttered.
He'd broken her heart, she said. And the lesson taken from that was she had to keep killing. That Ashlyn had been right. She'd seen that for as long as Kai had stood by her, he too had a breaking point. And she'd chosen to keep killing and keep getting rewarded for it. She didn't look scared anymore, like she'd always told him she was.
She didn't look like she understood that it had broken his heart too, and that she'd made the decision to sweep the pieces away.
After Kitty had gotten to work cleaning and then bandaging the wound, he finally found his voice. "That wasn't- I never wanted you to-"
Usually when Kai was quiet, he really didn't have much to say that he thought other people needed to hear. Now, a dozen different things were fighting for purchase. The one that won out came with a bitterness that surprised even him.
"You never listened to me."
He complied with her entirely on autopilot, shifting to first stretch out his right leg so she could examine where the bullet had grazed the back of his calf. His body moved mechanically while his mind stuttered.
He'd broken her heart, she said. And the lesson taken from that was she had to keep killing. That Ashlyn had been right. She'd seen that for as long as Kai had stood by her, he too had a breaking point. And she'd chosen to keep killing and keep getting rewarded for it. She didn't look scared anymore, like she'd always told him she was.
She didn't look like she understood that it had broken his heart too, and that she'd made the decision to sweep the pieces away.
After Kitty had gotten to work cleaning and then bandaging the wound, he finally found his voice. "That wasn't- I never wanted you to-"
Usually when Kai was quiet, he really didn't have much to say that he thought other people needed to hear. Now, a dozen different things were fighting for purchase. The one that won out came with a bitterness that surprised even him.
"You never listened to me."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
Kitty flinched, almost able to taste the bitterness in Kai's words, but she finished bandaging his injury before speaking.
"I did listen," she hissed, clearly hurt by the accusation. "I understood that you wanted me to stop killing. Maybe if you had been there after what happened with Robin, I wouldn't have gotten so deep. But by the time that you and Ren found me, that was no longer on the table."
Arguing and explanations were pointless, and she knew that. Nonetheless, here she was, trying to force it all to make sense to him one last time. Once she was done with Kai's leg, she paused her little speech, gesturing for him to slip out of his jacket so she could get at the wound on his arm, and he did so. She continued her work, beginning to clean the wound, before she kept speaking.
"I was scared at first, and I didn't lie to you when I said that," she muttered, switching from cleaning to stitching. "I was panicking, and not thinking straight, and the violence all came from that. Only, over time, it changed. I kept choosing violence, because I was already stuck in a cycle, and the alternative was death."
She stitched the wound on his arm more haphazardly than she had his leg or Cali's shoulder, her emotions starting to get the better of her. Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, but she wouldn't allow the floodgates to open. Not until all of this was said and done, and she said her last goodbyes.
"If I had wanted to, I could've given up and let myself die at any time. I tr-tried to, after you l-left me," she sniffled, and wiped her face on her sleeve. "B-But the truth that I took too long to accept is... I want to go home. I want to win."
Just like Ash had told her to.
Kitty finished stitching the wound on Kai's arm closed, and gave him some bandages to wrap it up himself, before standing up and turning her back to him. In silence, she wandered over to the body of her latest kill, and began sifting through their belongings, like she had so many times before.
"I did listen," she hissed, clearly hurt by the accusation. "I understood that you wanted me to stop killing. Maybe if you had been there after what happened with Robin, I wouldn't have gotten so deep. But by the time that you and Ren found me, that was no longer on the table."
Arguing and explanations were pointless, and she knew that. Nonetheless, here she was, trying to force it all to make sense to him one last time. Once she was done with Kai's leg, she paused her little speech, gesturing for him to slip out of his jacket so she could get at the wound on his arm, and he did so. She continued her work, beginning to clean the wound, before she kept speaking.
"I was scared at first, and I didn't lie to you when I said that," she muttered, switching from cleaning to stitching. "I was panicking, and not thinking straight, and the violence all came from that. Only, over time, it changed. I kept choosing violence, because I was already stuck in a cycle, and the alternative was death."
She stitched the wound on his arm more haphazardly than she had his leg or Cali's shoulder, her emotions starting to get the better of her. Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes, but she wouldn't allow the floodgates to open. Not until all of this was said and done, and she said her last goodbyes.
"If I had wanted to, I could've given up and let myself die at any time. I tr-tried to, after you l-left me," she sniffled, and wiped her face on her sleeve. "B-But the truth that I took too long to accept is... I want to go home. I want to win."
Just like Ash had told her to.
Kitty finished stitching the wound on Kai's arm closed, and gave him some bandages to wrap it up himself, before standing up and turning her back to him. In silence, she wandered over to the body of her latest kill, and began sifting through their belongings, like she had so many times before.
The cold bit into him when he took his jacket off and laid it over the closest log. The alcohol and needle stung as Kitty tended his wounds. Her words dug into him worse than either of those things.
Kai wordlessly took over bandaging his arm when Kitty stood and walked away from him. She didn't even give the dead girl a glance before going straight to looting her belongings. His heart sat in his chest like a stone as he watched her.
After he finished with his arm, Kai pulled the emergency blanket out of his first-aid kit and spread it on the ground so that he could move Cali onto it. There wasn't much more that he could do for her for now, but he could at least get her out of the snow. A part of him hated that he owed Kitty for taking care of Cali's wounds. For taking care of the girl trying to kill them with no apparent motive other than the same one Kitty had just given him. To be the last one standing.
If Kitty really meant that though, it didn't add up.
Kai spoke up again quietly after easing Cali onto the blanket and then seating himself on the log next to her. "If that's true, why are you helping us? Why do anything for- me, after I left you?" He stumbled over the question slightly, realizing that he shouldn't reveal to her that Cali had planned the theft with him.
Kai wordlessly took over bandaging his arm when Kitty stood and walked away from him. She didn't even give the dead girl a glance before going straight to looting her belongings. His heart sat in his chest like a stone as he watched her.
After he finished with his arm, Kai pulled the emergency blanket out of his first-aid kit and spread it on the ground so that he could move Cali onto it. There wasn't much more that he could do for her for now, but he could at least get her out of the snow. A part of him hated that he owed Kitty for taking care of Cali's wounds. For taking care of the girl trying to kill them with no apparent motive other than the same one Kitty had just given him. To be the last one standing.
If Kitty really meant that though, it didn't add up.
Kai spoke up again quietly after easing Cali onto the blanket and then seating himself on the log next to her. "If that's true, why are you helping us? Why do anything for- me, after I left you?" He stumbled over the question slightly, realizing that he shouldn't reveal to her that Cali had planned the theft with him.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
Kitty sighed through her nose as she crouched down next to the body and began pawing at it. Did he really not understand? Did he think she was that far gone? They hadn't just drifted away, this place had completely torn them apart. Somehow, the air seemed even colder than it did before.
"Because you're still my friends," she replied, melancholic, trying to keep herself from shedding any more tears. "Or... you were, at least. That still counts for something."
In spite of everything, she still loved them both. Kai might've abandoned her, and Cali might've rejected her, but they were all she had left. Because of that, some small, stupid part of her still hoped that they could understand. She didn't want her life, her story, to end here. She wanted to be more than this place, deserved to be more than this place. She had gone through enough suffering. It wouldn't be fair if that was all her whole existence ended up amounting to.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she found a little device with a screen on the body, turned off. Kitty raised an eyebrow at it, and fiddled with it for a moment, until it flicked on. The screen showed some kind of radar, with three little green blips, one in the center, and the other two next to each other, slightly further away. She turned the dial on the side of the device and watched it zoom out, and out, and out, until all three of those green blips merged into one.
"Huh," she muttered under her breath, transfixed at the screen, gears turning in her head.
"Because you're still my friends," she replied, melancholic, trying to keep herself from shedding any more tears. "Or... you were, at least. That still counts for something."
In spite of everything, she still loved them both. Kai might've abandoned her, and Cali might've rejected her, but they were all she had left. Because of that, some small, stupid part of her still hoped that they could understand. She didn't want her life, her story, to end here. She wanted to be more than this place, deserved to be more than this place. She had gone through enough suffering. It wouldn't be fair if that was all her whole existence ended up amounting to.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she found a little device with a screen on the body, turned off. Kitty raised an eyebrow at it, and fiddled with it for a moment, until it flicked on. The screen showed some kind of radar, with three little green blips, one in the center, and the other two next to each other, slightly further away. She turned the dial on the side of the device and watched it zoom out, and out, and out, until all three of those green blips merged into one.
"Huh," she muttered under her breath, transfixed at the screen, gears turning in her head.
When Kai was twelve years old, his mom had tried to kill herself.
His family didn't talk about it. Even if they acknowledged that it had happened, they never talked about why. He'd had to put those pieces together himself.
When he was little and his parents were still together, his mom had believed fervently in God. Believed beyond the bounds of normal belief. She still did believe, though therapy and occasionally medication had done a little bit to reel her back in to reality. Kai had believed in God too. He never thought to question what either of his parents told him until everything started to break down.
He didn't believe in God now. He'd never quite decided if belief that deep was admirable or just- usually he'd have called it "naive," to be nice, but when he said that he really meant "stupid."
He'd never understood how people could believe in a God that loved them after everything it seemed like He put them through until he'd been left on this island. Because the fact that Kitty had been his friend and that he had loved her did count for something. As much as logic and everyone else he'd met told him that he should have hated her by now, he couldn't.
He couldn't articulate what it really meant. It should have been meaningless in the face of what Kitty was doing and telling him now. When everything was said and done, Kai guessed that he was the stupidest person of all.
After Kitty had spent a few minutes absorbed in whatever it was she'd found in the girl's bag and it seemed like she had nothing else to say, he spoke up again. "So you're gonna go on and keep trying to win, now." Like with Marshall on the previous morning, it was a statement more than a question.
He picked up his jacket and just held it for a moment, staring down at his hands before slipping it back on. As he did so, he felt the weight in the pocket. Ren's gun. He'd gotten used to it over the past day and effectively forgotten it was there. Maybe if he'd remembered to bring it out during the fight-
It didn't really matter. However many other people that girl had killed, Kitty had made killing her in turn seem effortless. Thoughtless. She'd already said that she intended to keep killing her way to the top, and he believed that enough. The part of Kai that desperately, stupidly still believed in the Kitty from home just wanted to give her one last chance to prove his certainty wrong.
His family didn't talk about it. Even if they acknowledged that it had happened, they never talked about why. He'd had to put those pieces together himself.
When he was little and his parents were still together, his mom had believed fervently in God. Believed beyond the bounds of normal belief. She still did believe, though therapy and occasionally medication had done a little bit to reel her back in to reality. Kai had believed in God too. He never thought to question what either of his parents told him until everything started to break down.
He didn't believe in God now. He'd never quite decided if belief that deep was admirable or just- usually he'd have called it "naive," to be nice, but when he said that he really meant "stupid."
He'd never understood how people could believe in a God that loved them after everything it seemed like He put them through until he'd been left on this island. Because the fact that Kitty had been his friend and that he had loved her did count for something. As much as logic and everyone else he'd met told him that he should have hated her by now, he couldn't.
He couldn't articulate what it really meant. It should have been meaningless in the face of what Kitty was doing and telling him now. When everything was said and done, Kai guessed that he was the stupidest person of all.
After Kitty had spent a few minutes absorbed in whatever it was she'd found in the girl's bag and it seemed like she had nothing else to say, he spoke up again. "So you're gonna go on and keep trying to win, now." Like with Marshall on the previous morning, it was a statement more than a question.
He picked up his jacket and just held it for a moment, staring down at his hands before slipping it back on. As he did so, he felt the weight in the pocket. Ren's gun. He'd gotten used to it over the past day and effectively forgotten it was there. Maybe if he'd remembered to bring it out during the fight-
It didn't really matter. However many other people that girl had killed, Kitty had made killing her in turn seem effortless. Thoughtless. She'd already said that she intended to keep killing her way to the top, and he believed that enough. The part of Kai that desperately, stupidly still believed in the Kitty from home just wanted to give her one last chance to prove his certainty wrong.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
Kitty had always struggled to be happy, even when she was very young. She was disconnected from her peers, unable to understand and interact with them in a way that they liked, so her only regular social interaction was with her sister Ashlyn, who couldn't stand her. She didn't have a single friend to her name, and was desperately lonely. She needed lots of help, because in Ash's words, she "couldn't be normal". So, to get her the help she needed, her parents started taking her to therapy, and then it happened.
When Kitty was eleven years old, her parents were both killed in a wreck right in front of her eyes.
They had been on the way to one of her appointments. Because of that, in the aftermath of the crash, Ash blamed her for what happened, and told her that she was cursed, that she should've never been born. Their relationship had been rocky before that point, but afterwards, her sister spent the next two years making sure that every day was a waking nightmare.
Kitty was never allowed to feel safe, left to fend for herself as she was beaten and screamed at daily by her sister. Her suffering was ignored by her aunt and uncle, and the rest of her peers either shunned her, or joined in on the bullying. She had nowhere to run, and no-one to protect her. In desperation, she started hurting herself, raking open her own skin, hoping that by punishing herself, she would be absolved of all her wrongdoing.
This went on and on, until one day, when she was thirteen years old, Kitty's resolve crumbled, and she tried to kill herself.
It didn't work, but afterwards, Ash finally left her alone, and her new guardians started giving her some attention. She moved into high school, and she made her first real friends: Kai and Ren. In many ways, her life had improved dramatically, but the scars ran deep. No matter how good everything got for her, and no matter how hard she tried, or how many pills she took, she still couldn't feel happy.
And then, for a brief moment, she thought she was, when she met Robin.
He loved her, or said he did anyway. He never acted like it, not when they were out in public. He was sickly sweet when they were alone, but it became clearer and clearer to her that he was embarrassed by her. He started avoiding her, and pretended he didn't even know her in front of his friends. Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore, and she decided to end their relationship. Afterwards, she was left more unhappy than ever. All Robin accomplished was convincing her that nobody's love could be trusted.
A month later, unable to bear the solitude, Kitty tried to kill herself again.
That too, didn't work, and afterwards her freedom was restricted. Her guardians didn't trust her to make decisions for herself, and she wasn't allowed to go anywhere without a chaperone. Ash started to treat her like an infant in need of guidance, and her friends, well-meaning as they were, started to act like she was made of glass, ready to shatter at any moment. She hated every second of it, but she hoped that one day, when she was older, and out on her own, she could finally find happiness somewhere, somehow.
And then she wound up part of Survival of the Fittest.
It was a sad story, and a miserable life. One she had convinced herself was soon to end. Nothing to her name, nothing that her life had ever amounted to. She would suffer, and suffer, and suffer, and then die, never knowing a single day of peace. Never having what everyone else around her took for granted.
"Yeah," Kitty replied to Kai, standing up and turning towards him again. "You're right."
She wasn't afraid to admit that she wanted to win anymore. Not to him, not to anybody. She was finally taking control of her own destiny, rather than allowing fate to decide for her.
Methodically, she moved to go recollect her rifle and her bag, slinging them both over her shoulder by the straps. Then, she began to walk away, trudging through the snow and away from the camp, back towards the forest. However, she stopped halfway and turned back to Kai, raising the radar so he could see it.
"I found this, on the corpse," she stated. "It seems to be some kind of... radar. It shows me where everyone is. Everyone alive anyway."
Think of the possibilities, of the power this one, small device gave her.
"Which means... nobody will be able to hide from me, or surprise me. Nobody will be able to compete with me."
She smiled, the same way she always had back home, when she showed Kai something she was proud of.
"So, you know what that means, right?"
Her voice carried a kind of light, one that had been absent for so, so long.
"Aren't you happy? I'm going to go home!"
For a moment, she felt truly free. There wasn't a single obstacle left that she couldn't overcome. She was going to go home, no matter how many bodies she had to leave in her wake.
After that moment passed, her gaze sunk, and her smile faded.
"So," she murmured, that tinge of melancholy returning, tears once more forming in the corners of her eyes. "I guess this is goodbye, Kai. Take care of Cali for me. And, thank you, for everything."
Then, she turned her back, and began to depart from her friends for the very last time.
When Kitty was eleven years old, her parents were both killed in a wreck right in front of her eyes.
They had been on the way to one of her appointments. Because of that, in the aftermath of the crash, Ash blamed her for what happened, and told her that she was cursed, that she should've never been born. Their relationship had been rocky before that point, but afterwards, her sister spent the next two years making sure that every day was a waking nightmare.
Kitty was never allowed to feel safe, left to fend for herself as she was beaten and screamed at daily by her sister. Her suffering was ignored by her aunt and uncle, and the rest of her peers either shunned her, or joined in on the bullying. She had nowhere to run, and no-one to protect her. In desperation, she started hurting herself, raking open her own skin, hoping that by punishing herself, she would be absolved of all her wrongdoing.
This went on and on, until one day, when she was thirteen years old, Kitty's resolve crumbled, and she tried to kill herself.
It didn't work, but afterwards, Ash finally left her alone, and her new guardians started giving her some attention. She moved into high school, and she made her first real friends: Kai and Ren. In many ways, her life had improved dramatically, but the scars ran deep. No matter how good everything got for her, and no matter how hard she tried, or how many pills she took, she still couldn't feel happy.
And then, for a brief moment, she thought she was, when she met Robin.
He loved her, or said he did anyway. He never acted like it, not when they were out in public. He was sickly sweet when they were alone, but it became clearer and clearer to her that he was embarrassed by her. He started avoiding her, and pretended he didn't even know her in front of his friends. Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore, and she decided to end their relationship. Afterwards, she was left more unhappy than ever. All Robin accomplished was convincing her that nobody's love could be trusted.
A month later, unable to bear the solitude, Kitty tried to kill herself again.
That too, didn't work, and afterwards her freedom was restricted. Her guardians didn't trust her to make decisions for herself, and she wasn't allowed to go anywhere without a chaperone. Ash started to treat her like an infant in need of guidance, and her friends, well-meaning as they were, started to act like she was made of glass, ready to shatter at any moment. She hated every second of it, but she hoped that one day, when she was older, and out on her own, she could finally find happiness somewhere, somehow.
And then she wound up part of Survival of the Fittest.
It was a sad story, and a miserable life. One she had convinced herself was soon to end. Nothing to her name, nothing that her life had ever amounted to. She would suffer, and suffer, and suffer, and then die, never knowing a single day of peace. Never having what everyone else around her took for granted.
"Yeah," Kitty replied to Kai, standing up and turning towards him again. "You're right."
She wasn't afraid to admit that she wanted to win anymore. Not to him, not to anybody. She was finally taking control of her own destiny, rather than allowing fate to decide for her.
Methodically, she moved to go recollect her rifle and her bag, slinging them both over her shoulder by the straps. Then, she began to walk away, trudging through the snow and away from the camp, back towards the forest. However, she stopped halfway and turned back to Kai, raising the radar so he could see it.
"I found this, on the corpse," she stated. "It seems to be some kind of... radar. It shows me where everyone is. Everyone alive anyway."
Think of the possibilities, of the power this one, small device gave her.
"Which means... nobody will be able to hide from me, or surprise me. Nobody will be able to compete with me."
She smiled, the same way she always had back home, when she showed Kai something she was proud of.
"So, you know what that means, right?"
Her voice carried a kind of light, one that had been absent for so, so long.
"Aren't you happy? I'm going to go home!"
For a moment, she felt truly free. There wasn't a single obstacle left that she couldn't overcome. She was going to go home, no matter how many bodies she had to leave in her wake.
After that moment passed, her gaze sunk, and her smile faded.
"So," she murmured, that tinge of melancholy returning, tears once more forming in the corners of her eyes. "I guess this is goodbye, Kai. Take care of Cali for me. And, thank you, for everything."
Then, she turned her back, and began to depart from her friends for the very last time.
Kai's mom had believed in God with her whole heart. Believed that if she loved Him enough and asked Him enough, He would make things better for her. She'd pinned everything on that belief, and God had never answered her.
Kai had loved and believed in Kitty the way that his mom had believed in God, and Kitty had let him down.
His eyes were dry. It felt like she'd stabbed him right in the chest, but he had no tears left.
He waited for her to turn and start walking away with finality before drawing Ren's gun. He couldn't pull the trigger while looking her in the face.
But he still pulled it in the end.
Kai had loved and believed in Kitty the way that his mom had believed in God, and Kitty had let him down.
His eyes were dry. It felt like she'd stabbed him right in the chest, but he had no tears left.
He waited for her to turn and start walking away with finality before drawing Ren's gun. He couldn't pull the trigger while looking her in the face.
But he still pulled it in the end.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
Kitty was never good with goodbyes. Whenever she found herself at the threshold, she always felt the need to look back, one last time, and get one final image of someone to remember them by, just in case she never saw them again.
When she turned to look for the briefest moment, she was left staring down her best friend pointing a gun at her.
She opened her mouth.
But the word wait was torn out her back.
Katelyn Graves was going to die.
It was her inevitable end. Everyone dies, like California had said. It was an essential truth of the universe itself. Everything that begins must also end.
She had been terrified of it, but she knew all along that it was coming. She had thought that if she tried hard enough, she could escape her fate, and land on her feet like all cats do.
But, fate was a funny thing.
The bullet ripped through Kitty, below her ribs. It hit her like a punch to the gut, sending her spiraling off her feet. Agony like a thousand stabbing needles shot through her, pain like none she had felt since the crash. Her limbs flailed in panic at the sudden shock, and her rifle and bag were sent cascading into the snow.
She hit the ground like an anvil, sending another burst of pain through her back and head. She writhed in utter agony in the snow, twisting in place on the ground, crying and yowling, clutching her wound.
When the initial burst of pain began to recede, and her thrashing finally slowed, she was left frozen, facing Kai, bewildered eyes almost bulging out of her sockets.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she managed to squeak out something small, helpless, betrayed, and anguished.
"You hurt me."
When she turned to look for the briefest moment, she was left staring down her best friend pointing a gun at her.
She opened her mouth.
But the word wait was torn out her back.
Katelyn Graves was going to die.
It was her inevitable end. Everyone dies, like California had said. It was an essential truth of the universe itself. Everything that begins must also end.
She had been terrified of it, but she knew all along that it was coming. She had thought that if she tried hard enough, she could escape her fate, and land on her feet like all cats do.
But, fate was a funny thing.
The bullet ripped through Kitty, below her ribs. It hit her like a punch to the gut, sending her spiraling off her feet. Agony like a thousand stabbing needles shot through her, pain like none she had felt since the crash. Her limbs flailed in panic at the sudden shock, and her rifle and bag were sent cascading into the snow.
She hit the ground like an anvil, sending another burst of pain through her back and head. She writhed in utter agony in the snow, twisting in place on the ground, crying and yowling, clutching her wound.
When the initial burst of pain began to recede, and her thrashing finally slowed, she was left frozen, facing Kai, bewildered eyes almost bulging out of her sockets.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she managed to squeak out something small, helpless, betrayed, and anguished.
"You hurt me."
The gunshot pierced through Kai's aching head like a spike and redoubled the ringing in his right ear. The kick was less than the shotgun's, but it still jarred the injuries to both arms and set them freshly throbbing too. Kitty's scream-
There wasn't anything he could compare it to. It was a scream. She was screaming and crying in the dirt because he'd shot her.
Kai sat frozen with his arms still outstretched and hands holding the gun level. They'd started to shake. He wanted to see a monster. He wanted to see something that would tell him he'd done the right thing. All he saw was a crying, bleeding girl on the ground.
His mom had never given up God, in spite of everything. In spite of everything, the first words on the tip of his tongue were still I'm sorry. But he bit down on them and swallowed. Made sure they never made it out of his mouth.
There wasn't anything he could compare it to. It was a scream. She was screaming and crying in the dirt because he'd shot her.
Kai sat frozen with his arms still outstretched and hands holding the gun level. They'd started to shake. He wanted to see a monster. He wanted to see something that would tell him he'd done the right thing. All he saw was a crying, bleeding girl on the ground.
His mom had never given up God, in spite of everything. In spite of everything, the first words on the tip of his tongue were still I'm sorry. But he bit down on them and swallowed. Made sure they never made it out of his mouth.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1535
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
Nothing said in response to her accusation, the only reply being the ringing in her ears.
Kitty's head spun as she tried to make sense of what had happened. Utter disbelief pressed on her like a ten-ton weight, but the pain in her gut denied wishful thinking. Never in a million years would she have thought Kai would hurt her, but he had shot her. He hadn't said sorry. It wasn't an accident.
Why? They were supposed to be friends. Why hurt her? Friends don't hurt friends. Why forget that? She hadn't harmed a hair on their heads. Why kill her? She had saved their lives. So why?
When Kitty had woken up after her second suicide attempt, Kai had been the first one to visit her. He was there before her aunt, or uncle, or her sister. He was there before any of her other friends. He had been so worried about her. He confided that he was scared to death she wasn't going to wake up. He was practically glued to her side in the months that followed.
Robin had taught her love couldn't be trusted, that it was never real, that it could disappear as soon as it was inconvenient. She didn't want to believe that applied to Kai. Yet, now... she couldn't deny it. His love had been a lie, too. He really did hate her. Why else would he have pulled the trigger? WHY ELSE?
Ash's words from their final argument echoed inside her skull like a ricocheting bullet.
They're not your friends, Kitty! They're gonna get you killed!
She hadn't wanted to believe it. She couldn't have believed it. Yet, her sister had been right.
Another violent stab of pain cleaved her thoughts in two, ripping her out of her mental spiral. Her body was in distress. Terror gripped her heart like a vice. If she were to have any chance of survival, she had to act, and quickly.
Kitty surged as the adrenaline hit her bloodstream, briefly forcing herself up before the burning pain in her gut threw her back to the ground, her face leaving a crater in the snow. Cold seeped into her skin, and the stabbing needles spread up and up from her stomach to her chest to her head.
Up again, down again, little whimpers escaping her mouth each time as she tried to fumble towards her belongings. Kai was still there, but thoughts of him had left her entirely. Her sole focus was her bag, and the first-aid kit within, but she couldn't stand, she couldn't even shuffle along on her knees. Eventually, she resorted to crawling. Madly, desperately pulling herself through the snow like an inchworm, until she reached it.
She yanked the zipper back open, and rapidly pulled out a fistful of gauze. She wrapped her torso in it, around and around as tightly as she could, but her body wracked, convulsed, and she coughed. She brought her hand up to her mouth, covering it on instinct, and up welled a surge of warm, viscous fluid that felt like vomit. Her hand came away sticky, wet, and red. For a horrible, crystalline instant, she stared at the sanguine stain coating her trembling fingers, transfixed on the small, half-digested bits of her breakfast that were mixed in.
Internal hemorrhage. She couldn't fix this. She needed to go to the hospital.
Deliriously, instinctively, she reached down to her pocket, feeling for her cell phone to call for help, only to remember, like she had on the first day, that it had been confiscated.
Help wasn't coming.
"I-"
All her struggling, all of it, had done nothing but draw out her suffering.
"I'm gonna die."
The truth slammed into her like a runaway train, pulling her underneath its wheels and crushing her like a bug, obliterating all that she ever had been and ever could be.
It was over. Her coin had come up tails. The end approached. This was all she would ever be.
She crumpled underneath the weight of her despair, curling into a tight little ball in the snow and sobbing violently.
Kitty's head spun as she tried to make sense of what had happened. Utter disbelief pressed on her like a ten-ton weight, but the pain in her gut denied wishful thinking. Never in a million years would she have thought Kai would hurt her, but he had shot her. He hadn't said sorry. It wasn't an accident.
Why? They were supposed to be friends. Why hurt her? Friends don't hurt friends. Why forget that? She hadn't harmed a hair on their heads. Why kill her? She had saved their lives. So why?
When Kitty had woken up after her second suicide attempt, Kai had been the first one to visit her. He was there before her aunt, or uncle, or her sister. He was there before any of her other friends. He had been so worried about her. He confided that he was scared to death she wasn't going to wake up. He was practically glued to her side in the months that followed.
Robin had taught her love couldn't be trusted, that it was never real, that it could disappear as soon as it was inconvenient. She didn't want to believe that applied to Kai. Yet, now... she couldn't deny it. His love had been a lie, too. He really did hate her. Why else would he have pulled the trigger? WHY ELSE?
Ash's words from their final argument echoed inside her skull like a ricocheting bullet.
They're not your friends, Kitty! They're gonna get you killed!
She hadn't wanted to believe it. She couldn't have believed it. Yet, her sister had been right.
Another violent stab of pain cleaved her thoughts in two, ripping her out of her mental spiral. Her body was in distress. Terror gripped her heart like a vice. If she were to have any chance of survival, she had to act, and quickly.
Kitty surged as the adrenaline hit her bloodstream, briefly forcing herself up before the burning pain in her gut threw her back to the ground, her face leaving a crater in the snow. Cold seeped into her skin, and the stabbing needles spread up and up from her stomach to her chest to her head.
Up again, down again, little whimpers escaping her mouth each time as she tried to fumble towards her belongings. Kai was still there, but thoughts of him had left her entirely. Her sole focus was her bag, and the first-aid kit within, but she couldn't stand, she couldn't even shuffle along on her knees. Eventually, she resorted to crawling. Madly, desperately pulling herself through the snow like an inchworm, until she reached it.
She yanked the zipper back open, and rapidly pulled out a fistful of gauze. She wrapped her torso in it, around and around as tightly as she could, but her body wracked, convulsed, and she coughed. She brought her hand up to her mouth, covering it on instinct, and up welled a surge of warm, viscous fluid that felt like vomit. Her hand came away sticky, wet, and red. For a horrible, crystalline instant, she stared at the sanguine stain coating her trembling fingers, transfixed on the small, half-digested bits of her breakfast that were mixed in.
Internal hemorrhage. She couldn't fix this. She needed to go to the hospital.
Deliriously, instinctively, she reached down to her pocket, feeling for her cell phone to call for help, only to remember, like she had on the first day, that it had been confiscated.
Help wasn't coming.
"I-"
All her struggling, all of it, had done nothing but draw out her suffering.
"I'm gonna die."
The truth slammed into her like a runaway train, pulling her underneath its wheels and crushing her like a bug, obliterating all that she ever had been and ever could be.
It was over. Her coin had come up tails. The end approached. This was all she would ever be.
She crumpled underneath the weight of her despair, curling into a tight little ball in the snow and sobbing violently.