Name: Corbin Azinger
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12th
School: John Endecott Memorial Academy
Hobbies and Interests: JROTC, baseball, football, volunteering, outdoor recreation, exercise, religion
Appearance: Corbin's height is above average, as he stands at 6'1, and weighs in at the heavier end of healthy at 180 pounds. He is strongly built, with a trapezoid body type and broad shoulders. His body is well taken care of, with his weight being attributable more to muscle and not fat due in no small part to his workout regimen and proclivity towards sports. His arms are wide and have noticeable amounts of hair. His skin is fair with a slightly warm undertone. He usually burns in the sun.
Corbin has straight chestnut brown hair styled into a short crew cut, with short sides recently regrown from a fade. His eyebrows are large but sparse and have a harsh angle, with a slightly prominent brow ridge. His face is long and oval-shaped, and his chin has a slight cleft. He has inexpressive, hooded eyes of a pale green color. His nose is long and upturned. He can grow facial hair but regularly shaves, leaving him with a small amount of stubble around his lips and on the sides of his face.
Corbin's sense of fashion is minimalistic, with a noticeable preference for function over form. This preference usually takes the form of a nondescript mono-color shirt paired with a pair of comfortably fitting pants. On the trip, he wore a thin olive-green parka jacket, a dark gray v-neck t-shirt, black cargo pants, and a pair of brown Kodiak Thane boots.
Biography: Corbin was born in Salem to Kurt Azinger, a carpenter, and Sophia Azinger (née Cardini), a primary school teacher. Their employment and salaries placed them within the middle class, and as a result, they are generally financially secure. He is the eldest child in the family, and he has a younger brother, Caden Azinger, four years his junior. Caden is a freshman at John Endecott Memorial Academy.
Corbin was outgoing from an early age, and this, along with his generally relaxed demeanor, allowed him to make friends among his peers. However, Corbin would sometimes become frustrated or angry when unable to get his way, which, combined with a tendency to dominate conversations and talk over others, occasionally caused arguments between him and his friends.
Kurt was a devoted fan of sports television and felt that Corbin would be served well by a physical outlet for his energy. As a result, he encouraged Corbin to participate in football and baseball, Kurt's favorite sports to watch. Corbin took naturally to athletic pursuits and enjoyed the thrill and excitement of the games. When not playing, Corbin often watched televised sports with or practiced with Kurt, activities that not only helped Corbin improve his knowledge of the game but brought him close to his father.
In the early stages of middle school, it became evident that Corbin was not naturally gifted in academics, as he had poor grades in subjects outside of physical education. While his parents initially reacted with frustration, they gradually decided to talk with Corbin and understand why he was doing poorly at school. He felt unmotivated and frustrated when he did not feel successful and gave up in the face of difficulties. Kurt and Sophia discussed the problem at length and realized that they needed to do more to support their son. They ultimately decided to try and instill Corbin with a diligent attitude through encouragement. The cultivation of better studying habits helped improve his grades, bolstered by a natural ability of Corbin to memorize and retain information when motivated.
When Corbin entered high school, he was disappointed by John Endecott Memorial Academy's lackluster reputation regarding sports. As a result of a lack of football and baseball teams, Corbin plays in intramural clubs instead. As a result of his quickness, physical prowess, and ability to memorize plays, Corbin is a natural linebacker. His strong arms and accuracy in catching and throwing allow him to be a reliable third baseman.
Corbin is an active member of several clubs at John Endecott Memorial Academy. As a result of family activities such as hiking and fishing, Corbin is interested in outdoor recreation. When he learned of John Endecott Memorial Academy's Adventure Club, he was interested in participating. Corbin enjoys the combination of physical activity and tranquility that these activities provide. As a result of his desire to keep himself in shape, he is also a member of the Body Improvement Club, where he exercises and trades advice with his fellow members. His involvement in this club is more for practical reasons than for specific interests, as his activity in the club helps him remain fit and healthy, which is beneficial in his other hobbies.
Politically, Corbin is apathetic, though his personal beliefs lead him to have a more conservative outlook than many of his peers. His family is generally Republican in their political affiliation, though they did not support Jared Canon in the most recent election. However, he and his family all consider themselves patriotic. As a result, he was interested when he learned that John Endecott Memorial Academy had a JROTC club. He joined due to encouragement from his friends and enjoyed the activities that JROTC provided, and has remained in the group throughout his time at John Endecott Memorial Academy. He is most active in lessons involving leadership, marksmanship, and physical fitness, and he is considered an able member of the Marksmanship Team. He appreciates the structure and discipline required, as well as the values that JROTC encourages.
Corbin and his family identify as Christian, which led them to encourage him to join John Endecott Memorial Academy's Worship and Prayer club. He was initially interested in the club due to the advertisement of their bi-weekly volunteer opportunities, which served as an opportunity for him to help those around him and better the community. Corbin helps vote on which volunteer site the club decides to visit, with his preferred location being the local food pantry. He gradually developed more of an interest in the religious aspects of the club as time went on and is an active participant in the club's Bible study sessions. He feels that the club has helped him become more invested in his faith.
Corbin views himself as a generally good person and does not like to reflect on any fact that may put this view into doubt. He feels deeply uncomfortable when his beliefs, morals, or opinions are in question. As a result, Corbin becomes combative when challenged on topics such as his religion and his values. When it comes to rules, Corbin is stubborn. He often expects that others will follow them with the same attention to detail as he does. When this proves not to be the case, he can become irritable. However, Corbin is not entirely unbiased in this regard. He is more lenient with his friends than with others. As a result, those who he corrects often view him as hypocritical.
In terms of academics, Corbin has improved significantly over time. He maintains a B average and can persevere through subjects that are otherwise difficult for him. His preferred classes are those in which his memory gives him an advantage, such as history and mathematics. Those that require creativity prove more difficult for Corbin, though he can push forward regardless.
Corbin has a strong relationship with his family. He respects and loves his parents and is very close to and protective towards his brother, though they do not share as many interests as Corbin does with his father. His family regularly holds barbeques, fishing trips, and hikes, which Corbin is glad to participate in whenever possible.
Corbin is strongly considering enlisting within the United States Armed Forces when he graduates from John Endecott Memorial Academy, though he is unsure what branch he will join. He is also considering the possibility of following his father's trade and becoming a carpenter.
Advantages: Corbin is physically robust, having cultivated both strength and stamina through exercise, sports, and other activities. Corbin is good at memorizing and retaining information, which may help him keep track of potential threats. He is determined and will rarely give up on a task once he has set his mind to it. As a result of his experience with outdoor recreation, Corbin has acquired skills such as shelter-building and become adjusted to outdoor environments. His time in JROTC has helped him develop his marksmanship and leadership abilities, which may help him ward off enemies and rally his peers.
Disadvantages: Corbin is rigid and inflexible; he will rarely bend his morals or compromise, which will make any form of negotiation onerous. He tends to view things in a black and white manner, which will make it difficult for him to gain and maintain alliances. Corbin is stubborn and may continue to pursue a goal well past the point of reason. His reputation for hypocrisy may cause other students to reject his judgments and assessments.
Corbin Azinger
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Hello Dogs! I'll be looking at Corbin today. He is temporarily DENIED, and I will go over the needed changes below as usual.
In the Hobbies and Interests list, you can capitalize every item or just the first one in the list, but make sure it's consistent. Either the items after "Football" need to be capitalized, or everything after JROTC should not be (save for the word Bible, which is a proper noun).
I'd like some more expansion on Corbin's non-sports hobbies, as the Adventure Club and Body Improvement Clubs are only given single-sentence mentions right now. While I get that Corbin is someone who enjoys being active, hiking and other outdoor activities and stationary weightlifting are all pretty different kinds of physical activity from the team sports that he plays. What does he like about these things in particular?
I also don't see an explanation of why Bible study in particular is considered a hobby aside from Corbin and his family being Christian. What makes this particular part of his religion a special interest? Similarly, his interest in volunteering is only given a passing mention. What sort of volunteering does he do, and why?
How does Corbin currently do in school, grades-wise? Does he have any particular strengths or weaknesses in certain subjects, and what does he like and dislike? He has a lot of extracurriculars so his grades will need to be kept above a certain level; does he ever require tutoring or extra help?
We need a bit of elaboration in the advantages and disadvantages. For advantages, how does Corbin's ability to memorize information help him in the context of the island? What specific outdoors survival skills does he have?
For disadvantages, Corbin's apparent moral inflexibility seems to contradict what the biography says about him being willing to justify others' behavior and his refusal to examine his own even when he might be wrong. That sounds quite flexible to me in terms of him being willing to bend his morals in order to avoid discomfort. This tendency to be a bit hypocritical is cited later on in the disadvantages too, but it's not stated how that specifically hurts his chances on the island.
In general, I don't see most of his disadvantages clearly explained in the bio, nor is it explained how they are disadvantages in the context of SOTF. That whole section needs to be expanded upon.
Spelling and grammar:
That should be it, so post in here when you've made those edits, and we'll take Corbin to round 2!
In the Hobbies and Interests list, you can capitalize every item or just the first one in the list, but make sure it's consistent. Either the items after "Football" need to be capitalized, or everything after JROTC should not be (save for the word Bible, which is a proper noun).
Content-wise this is fine, but you might want to rearrange the information here so that it's not jumping back and forth between facial features. Right now it's a little hard to follow.He can grow facial hair but regularly shaves, leaving him with a small amount of stubble around his lips, which are round, and on the sides of his face, which is long and oval-shaped, with a barely-noticeable cleft on his chin.
I'd like some more expansion on Corbin's non-sports hobbies, as the Adventure Club and Body Improvement Clubs are only given single-sentence mentions right now. While I get that Corbin is someone who enjoys being active, hiking and other outdoor activities and stationary weightlifting are all pretty different kinds of physical activity from the team sports that he plays. What does he like about these things in particular?
I also don't see an explanation of why Bible study in particular is considered a hobby aside from Corbin and his family being Christian. What makes this particular part of his religion a special interest? Similarly, his interest in volunteering is only given a passing mention. What sort of volunteering does he do, and why?
How does Corbin currently do in school, grades-wise? Does he have any particular strengths or weaknesses in certain subjects, and what does he like and dislike? He has a lot of extracurriculars so his grades will need to be kept above a certain level; does he ever require tutoring or extra help?
We need a bit of elaboration in the advantages and disadvantages. For advantages, how does Corbin's ability to memorize information help him in the context of the island? What specific outdoors survival skills does he have?
For disadvantages, Corbin's apparent moral inflexibility seems to contradict what the biography says about him being willing to justify others' behavior and his refusal to examine his own even when he might be wrong. That sounds quite flexible to me in terms of him being willing to bend his morals in order to avoid discomfort. This tendency to be a bit hypocritical is cited later on in the disadvantages too, but it's not stated how that specifically hurts his chances on the island.
In general, I don't see most of his disadvantages clearly explained in the bio, nor is it explained how they are disadvantages in the context of SOTF. That whole section needs to be expanded upon.
Spelling and grammar:
In this context, Bible is a proper noun and should be capitalized regardless of its position on the list.Hobbies and Interests: JROTC, Baseball, Football, volunteering, outdoor recreation, exercise, Bible study
Replace the dashes here with commas. This is a recurring issue throughout the profile, where dashes are being used in place of commas or other punctuation. I'll be outlining the instances that I find.Corbin was born in Salem as the first of two children to Kurt Azinger - a carpenter, and Sophia Azinger (née Cardini) - a primary school teacher.
Replace the dash here with a period or semi-colon.He is the eldest child in the family - he has a younger brother, Caden Azinger, four years his junior.
Replace the first dash with a period or semi-colon and the second with a comma.Kurt was a devoted fan of sports television and felt that Corbin would be served well by a physical outlet for his energy - as a result, he encouraged Corbin to participate in football and baseball - Kurt's favorite sports to watch.
Replace with a comma.When not playing, Corbin often watched televised sports with or practiced with Kurt - activities that not only helped Corbin improve his knowledge of the game but brought him close to his father.
Replace with a period or semi-colon.In the early stages of middle school, it became evident that Corbin was not naturally gifted when it came to academics - he had poor grades in subjects outside of physical education.
Football and baseball are not proper nouns and do not need to be capitalized.As a result of a lack of Football and Baseball teams, Corbin plays in intramural clubs instead.
Corbin's main reason for his membership in the club is the volunteering opportunities provided, though he also pays attention during the club's Bible study sessions.
Replace with a comma.He does not like to view others negatively - especially those with whom he associates.
Replace with a period or semi-colon.Corbin has a strong relationship with his family - he respects and loves his parents and is very close to and protective towards his brother,
Replace with a period or semi-colon.Corbin is rigid and inflexible - he will rarely bend his morals or compromise.
That should be it, so post in here when you've made those edits, and we'll take Corbin to round 2!
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Corbin Azinger Critique Changelog (1.0.1)
- Fixed the capitalization.
- Rearranged the appearance for readability.
- Expanded on his club participation.
- Changed Bible study to a more broad descriptor of "religion".
- Elaborated on his academics.
- Elaborated and changed his advantages and disadvantages.
- Clarified the combination of rigidity and hypocrisy.
- Removed my beloved dashes.
APPROVED
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."