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what does your characters sound like in my head critique thread

hi this is a totally serious critique thread!

This is the critique board, suggested by Outfoxd. Come here to request critiques and critique the work of others. The goal of this board is to be a respectful environment conducive to the improvement of writing skills.
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Maraoone
Posts: 1039
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2018 11:39 am

#16

Post by Maraoone »

my son who's done nothing wrong
[+] the youfs
V8:
S050: June Madison is just trying to get it together. She is rolling a pearl.
Previous Threads: Help I'm Alive - Come Out, Juanita, Don't Let Me Wait - Dum Spiro Spero - Everyone's Asleep In The House But Me - Daylight - keep looking forwards on paths sideways - Vultures - Ego Te Absolvo - Shawn's Marvelous Medicine - Medically Ineffective Intervention - no one knows where the ladder goes - I just can't help myself - Color In Your Cheeks - The Long Way Down - Trespasser - I'm going where the cold wind blows - One Last Roll in the Dark - Arrow - V8 Rescue
Pregame: When The Moon Hits Your Eye

Dead:
S069: Valentin Shulgin (adopted from yugi punished kun and salic) needs you to try your best. He's ran out of time in Далеко бежит дорога. [31/134]
Previous Threads: Murphy's Law - The Human Element - Mediation - Valentin Takes A Bath - the results of Valentin's experiment - Faire et Refaire - Well, I'm tired of losing - et Refaire et Refaire et Refaire - 28 Ghosts IV

S072: Przemyslaw Ziemiak (adopted from rc) is bettering himself. He finally got to see the stars in Blind Faith. [70/134]
Previous Threads: Romans 6:23 - Wendy House - Possession - Evening / Morning - She said, "Don't make others suffer for your personal hatred." - I daydream until all the snow is gone
[+] V7
V7:
Dead:
B083 - Diego Larrosa - Palayain mo na ako. - He didn't want this. say goodnight to the bad guy [10/159]
Current Theme Music: Devil Town (v1) - cavetown
Weapon: Tactical Combat Shovel
Previous Threads: Love & Money - before the day is done, my prince is gonna come - How Far I'll Go - Gimme, Gimme Shelter or I'm Gonna Fade Away - no one round here's good at keeping their eyes closed - Still Waiting - Hell is Other People - RICH_BOY_LIKES_IT_ROUGH.MP4 - I Don't Wanna Be Myself - The Bell Tolls For Our Funeral - The Gang Goes Out For Breakfast - Untrust Us - Crimewaves - Love itself is just as innocent as roses in May - Will All Be Forgiven? - black eyes looking up from below - Silent Key - it's ok we're just scared - life's alright in devil town - Beyond Human (Barely Human) - And Now Those Days Are Over and We Are All Ghosts - The Ultimate Test of Cerebral Fitness - Ang Pagbibinata ni Diego Larrosa - perverse verdict - Madness in the Method - park the car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Memories: Hiya sa Timog

G013 - Yuka Hayashibara (adopted from Ryuki!) - Does it spark joy? - She fixed up her look in one of a kind [46/159]
Current Theme Music: Play With Me - DDLC OST
Weapon: Bug-A-Salt Camofly 2.0 Insect Eradication Gun
Previous Threads: Quintessential Thinking - I Pray to the Lord You Reveal what His Truth is - all of our heroes fading - now i can't stand to be alone - Incredible Adventures - there's a pale imitation burnt in my eyes - Red Of Tooth And Claw - The Fifth Announcement - Low Times - Party Like It's 1999 - Hell and You - We're All Excited, We Don't Know Why, Maybe It's 'Cause, We're Gonna Die - Ron Gets a Bath As Well, Whether He Wants To or Not - No Exit
Pregame: In Vino Veritas - Shake It Out
Memories: Hayashibara Heart to Heart
Prom: Fear and Delight
Trip: Room 832: Welcome to the Witching Hour

G052 - Joanne Coleman (adopted from Cicada!) - I've got a thick skin and an elastic heart. - She tried to do something in Sleep Is The Cousin Of Death [116/159]
Current Theme Music: When You Die - MGMT
Weapon: George Hunter High School mascot costume
Previous Threads: hold on to this lullaby - Don't Stray Off The Path - D.R.E.A.M. - I'm Not That Nice, I'm Mean and I'm Evil - we keep these promises, write it in a letter
Pregame: You did not break me. I'm still fighting for peace. - Desperate Times - Heavy is the Head That Wears the Crown - Do You Have The Time - i'm so 3008
Memories: I'm alright. I'm just fine. And you're a tool, so. - Make A New Cult Every Day

G075 - Aditi Sharma (adopted from Brackie! and somer!) - She failed in Yellow Light [88/159]
Weapon: Browning Hi Power 9mm
Previous Threads: Pandorama - Antisocial Darwinism - My Lucifer Is Lonely - They Couldn't Buy A Fucking Toaster. They're Broke, John.
[+] V6
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.
[+] V5
Dead:
B045 - Juhan Levandi - An Estonian wanna-be journalist with a fear of the dark who wanted to bring them all down in Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien [18/152]
Weapon: Party Bag (contains a noisemaker, party hat, two single-serving bags of candy, and a Hotwheels car)
Pre-Game Threads: Wiping All Out - Quixotic
Previous V5 Threads: Despair - The Real Folk Blues - The two people in the distance were Paulo and Becca - Mischief Managed - Sleeper Cell - Tell No Tales - So, How Was Your Day? - And I'm Not Sleeping Now - Intermission - Glass - A Manic Depressive Named Laughing Boy
G067 - Carmina Maliksi - A Filipina car junkie with a /slight/ obsession with Korea and Japan who has finished things up (somewhat) in Red as Blood [139/152]
Weapon: Non-Functional Flamethrower (left in the Clubhouse)
Previous V5 Threads: Finding Center - Wish I Could Breathe - The Visionary
Memories: Offended?
B054 - Oscar Trig (adopted from Greg the Anti-Viking) - An artist who desperately needs a pencil, paper and a cigar and thought with his heart in Fumble [76/152]
Weapon: Binoculars
Pregame Threads: Taking it to the Streets
Previous V5 Threads: Waking Up at the Beginning of Time - Steadier Footing - Handoff
[+] misc
[+] meirl
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new resting place for chatsig never forget 2018
give my v8 kids friends pls
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Melusine
Posts: 1000
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 3:38 pm

#17

Post by Melusine »

Ohm wrote: ↑Thu Jul 30, 2020 5:04 pm Jason
im skipping you for now becuase you already got one dude done but ill get back to you later, remind me
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