eyes locked, hands locked

[EarthBound]

“I’ve heard it’s more personal, or whatever. I just think it’s hard to just keep the routine, like….I don’t know, I feel like at some point I just won’t want to pick it up and then it’ll never happen again. The cycle of spending money….money which should be spent…..on like….pens, I guess?”

Lilliana honestly had no idea where she was going with that one, so she ends up just putting her hands up in a state of mock defeat. Okay, yeah, she doesn’t really have a proper rebuttal.

“I’ll try one out….maybe. College could maybe require one.”

[FlockOfHens]

"I think I get what you're saying," Remi said. Apart from her time at her previous school, the fact that her parents have a ton of dough to spend was also a main reason why she kept up with her hobbies. It could be a main reason for any hobby, for that matter. If you have the money for it, then pursue it. But it still sounded like an unfair advantage for everyone else.

As the two talked, Lilliana soon mentioned that college could be a chance to try out planning for once.

"Right, college." The smile slowly faded from her, and it almost felt silent.

[EarthBound]

Lilliana watched as Remi’s smile slowly disappeared from her face. It took a moment to register in her head, and then she suddenly gasped as she realized. Not everyone might be going to college! She is so dumb for doing that! She’s actually so dumb, this is terrible.

“I’m so sorry!” Lilliana’s thoughts came directly to pass, causing her to slightly reel back as she placed a hand over her mouth. “I totally should’ve realized that everyone’s going a different path! It’s just that I was going to college, and so I naturally assumed…..god, I’m so dumb!”

[FlockOfHens]

Remi looked at her, befuddled.

"W-wait, I-" She began to stutter. Great, she just had to bring down the mood. Sure, she had her distaste about college, but it's not like she wasn't going.

"Lilliana, I am going to college. I'm only complaining about my choices right now, not about me not getting in..." Despite her calming voice, she wasn't doing the best at cheering her up.

[EarthBound]

“….Oh!”

Lilliana looked so dumb. She slowly shuffled back to her seat, face heating up with embarrassment as she sat cross legged. She was too quick to quickly assume she was wrong, and now she had quickly been wrong about quickly assuming she was wrong. What an awful feeling.

“Oh…..so, like, you’re…..still not comfortable with the place you chose?” Lilliana tilted her head. “Did you….not get into your dream school? I know a couple of people didn’t get into their dream school.”

[FlockOfHens]

As a matter of fact, yes, Remi didn't get what she desired most. It wasn't a fancy college or some private academy. Hell, she never wanted to go to college in the first place. But there was nothing else that she wanted more than when she graduated: to become an Olympian.

After she gets out of Red Rock and away from her parents, she planned to get sought out in competing against other swimmers in the Olympics. She worked tirelessly to become the best of the best out of the best of the best, and even competed against those like her. All she needed to do was swim a 200m Individual Medley to become what she dreamed of the most.

She was so close to it all. But alas, the mighty always fall.

"Yeah, it's... Hard to talk about." Remi said with a half-smile. Lilliana was sort of right with her assumption. Her dreams fell through before it began. She didn't get the luck. She never got that break.

[EarthBound]

It was easy for Lilliana to sympathize with other people, even if she didn’t know the exact situation that was troubling them in life. So, Remi’s situation was something she could easily feel bad for her for. She was also surprised that Remi was so willing to open up about something like that, even though this was their first true conversation, but Lilliana wasn’t one to complain about someone expressing their emotions.

Lilliana officially sat down next to Remi, patting her on the back to offer some sort of comfort. This had to be somewhat recent, considering that college wasn’t that far away. Who knows how long this had been nagging at her?

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.” Lilliana offered. “We can totally talk about something else!”

[FlockOfHens]

Thankfully, the other girl had bought into the lie. But unfortunately, Remi still wasn't being truthful about her own pain again. The fact that she had failed was still eating away at her soul. If anything, she hated failure to a high degree and would do anything to prevent it in some way. But just the thought of trying to fix something beyond her control disturbed her the most. The only thing she could ever do was to hide her burden, as she's done many times before. No matter how many times others tried to push her into explaining why she quit the swim team or her plans after graduation, she had to shut herself up.

But knowing that Lilliana was comforting her despite not knowing the full story had put Remi at ease. She appreciated the pat on the back and her words of comfort.

"Thanks..."

[EarthBound]

“You’re welcome!” Lilliana chirped as she went on the walk back to her seat. She was mentally noting everything that had been happening thus far, just so she could have a proper way to handle this. The decision that eventually came to pass was that strangers need personal space to take care of their problems and who the hell was Lilliana to interfere? There were many risks she was willing to take and that was not one of them.

As Lilliana returned to her beadwork, there was this momentary silence as she registered what she could say next. At the end of the day, what could two strangers who basically know nothing about each other talk about? Lilliana wasn’t paying attention to how much time was left, the bell would do that for her, but if they were going to talk they might as well try something prolonged.

“Do you think Senioritis has been affecting you?” Lilliana looked up. “Because, like…..I know some of the other Seniors have practically given up, but I got into a college and I’m still working.” Dumbass, we were supposed to not talk about college. She takes a moment. “But….I suppose it hasn’t, considering you’re skipping lunch to work on homework?”

[FlockOfHens]

"Sure, 'Senioritis.' Let's call it that."

Remi didn't mind Lilliana trying her best to avert the conversation, but she could tell the other girl was struggling. But she wasn't wrong, this year in particular has been putting her into an overhaul. She's been working herself to the bone to keep her grades in perfect order and applying to as many colleges as possible. Thankfully, she has been getting a few letters herself recommending her to apply to their campuses, but they were sadly ones she didn't want.

To top it all off, the essays, theses, and portfolios she had to complete were tiring. She rarely has time to even indulge in her hobbies, or her lunch in this manner, and instead has to sit though her parents bitch and complain many times. To answer Lilliana's question...

"It has. I'm just putting in extra work to ignore it."

[EarthBound]

Lilliana is absolutely trying her best. To be completely fair to her, it was hard to pick up a conversation after it suddenly derails to something like that. Oh, she just made things so, so awkward…..everything is horrible and terrible. Regardless, Senioritis! Lilliana is feeling burnout, but it’s not to the point where she’s stopped on her work. God knows she can’t have her diploma getting withdrawn at this stage.

Anyways, Remi did have a good strategy. The harder that they worked now, the less stress they would feel later on when everything crashed in on them.

“I keep trying to mix in my mental health with everything, and it’s like…” Lilliana looks down at her beadwork. “This is fun, but I also have a presentation tomorrow…..but also, I don’t feel like practicing. I’m in this weird senior limbo where I’m so sick of it.”

[FlockOfHens]

Remi only nods to Lilliana's current problems. Hearing her struggle as she now feels the weight of graduation made the tomboy feel lucky she didn't have to bear the same pains as she did. While it was an awful feeling not to be in the shoes of someone else less fortunate, or the fact that she's also dealing with Senioritis, she's currently not struggling with her grades. Even though she's doing extra work to put into keeping her grades up, she'll still be left with outstanding scores for her chances of being accepted to college.

The only problem she has is her teachers. She wasn't gonna name names, but she personally hated the extra bullshit they were forcing her to deal with. As if her parents weren't enough.

"Life's a pain, Lilly. Pretty sure the only way for us to deal with it is to just go with it."

[EarthBound]

“I know, I knooooowww….” Lilliana slightly slumped in her chair upon Remi’s realistic view. She was right, though, the only thing that she could do is keep moving forward. They only had a few months left before this all came to an end, and then everything could be completely fine and relaxing again. College would grant her freedom, regardless. This is the last final stretch she has to get through before it all gets better.

“Finalstretchfinalstretchfinalstretchfinalstretch.” Lilliana muttered to herself under her breath as she finished up the last few parts of her beadwork before the bell would eventually ring, and…

“DONE!” She gently puts it down, before covering her mouth. “Sorry.”

[FlockOfHens]

Remi was in the middle of finishing her assignment when Lilliana shouted out. She was surprised at her sudden exclamation about her finished project. As she looked over, Remi could finally appreciate the girl's fruits of labor. The beads were completed in an intricate pattern with mesmerizing colors. Some were wooden, others plastic. But the strings used were braided into different spots, almost reminding her of macramé.

"Wow... It's really-"

Just then, the sound of the school bell had finally blared out. Looked like they've both finished just in time.

[EarthBound]

Lilliana looked up as she heard the bell ring. Just in time, she noted to herself, just in time. She wouldn’t have this hanging over her head anytime soon, which was a great thing. She would have time to work on her project tonight, which was another good thing. All in all, this use of a period had been completely successful in every regard.

“……Craaaaap.” And her class is on the other side of campus. Lilliana hopped to her feet and started collecting her stuff. “Oh, I’m gonna be so late!”