WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! THE FOLLOWING IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. IT MAY CONTAIN OBSCENE LANGUAGE, NUDITY, VIOLENCE, GORE, BLOODSHED, AND OVERALL STUPIDITY!
It was a cold and dreary day in the make-believe land of Urbansville, USA. Or at least, it was. Ya see, there were these kids -- they were students, apparently -- and they got abducted during a pep rally. Yeah buddy, them terrorists brought down choppers and flew the whole damned gymnasium away! Can you believe it? That's some crazy shit. So yeah, there's this bad man, his name's Mistah D. Mistah D's a psychopathic perverted necrophiliac nymphomaniac, and he gets off on watchin' kids slaughter one another. So he kidnapped all these students, put collars on 'em, gave 'em weapons, and told 'em to kill each other. Apparently Mistah D's got a hot date with a lady friend, and he's tryin' to get prepared, you see. Anyway, so Mistah D locked these kids in this skyscraper buildin', and now they're fightin' for their lives. Neat, huh?
***
"Oh shit, son! OH SHIT!"
Tony "T-Bone" Brown was a whole lot of things. He was a playah, he was a ballah, he was a shacallah, he was a P-I-M-P, ya feel me? Tony was a gangsta, mothafuckers. Now, Tony was runnin' like hell, all goofy-like 'cause he was tryin' to keep his drawers on and keep his pants from fallin' down around his ankles. You know how it is, right? Tony was runnin' down this hallway, and believe you me, he was haulin' some ass. This was some crazy shit. I mean, this was righteously fucked up. The black man always dies first! What kinda racist bullshit is that? So anyway, the point is that T-Bone was runnin' his ass off 'cause he didn't wanna get shot up like a tin can at a hillbilly shooting range.
"Ah, motherfucker. This is fucked up man, this is some FUCKED UP SHIT!"
Indeed, this WAS some fucked up shit. Some crazy motherfucker came onto this TV and, Tony wasn't really paying attention 'cause he saw some whips and chains in the background and he was scared that the man had kidnapped them so that he could get freaky in the back room with them all, but apparently, the guy abducted them so they could kill one another, which Tony assumed was probably the lesser of two evils, given the circumstances. So anyway, they let him out into the hallway of this big ass tower and now he was runnin' like hell 'cause he didn't know what to do.
"White people are dyin', man, this nigga is gettin' outta here!" Tony exclaimed as he flung open the door to the ascending stairwell. There stood the hottest thing he'd ever seen, not to mention tapped a few times. Any other time, he'd have stopped and oogled her for a while, but right now, as he said, white people was dyin' an Tony wanted to get the hizzell outta here and fast.
"Tony!" the big-boobed blonde exclaimed as she flashed her ever-dazzling white smile at him, "It's me Tony! It's Mary Sue! Oh Tony, they tried to kill me! They tried to--"
As Mary Sue launched herself into T-Bone's arms, Tony sidestepped and shoved her farther down the stairs.
"Tony! EEEEEK!"
"MOVE, BITCH!"
Mary Sue went crashing down the flight of stairs, screaming and squealing every time her perfect little head impacted harshly on one of the cold concrete steps. T-Bone, meanwhile, didn't give a damn about the white trick he'd just shoved down the steps. He told that ho before, he told her not to mess with his game, and dammit, she was messin' with his game! Fuckin' trick ass bitch. Too damned clingy. T-Bone continued to jog up the stairs and bust the door to the next floor open as Mary Sue impacted with the final step and her cries ceased. Why Tony was running up the stairs in a tower to escape was beyond him, maybe he'd skydive from the roof or somethin', but everything makes sense when you're in a skyscraper full of crazy psycho killers, right?
GIRL #69: MARY SUE McBIGBOOBS - DEAD
SOTF: Pear O'Dee Towers - Content Warning
May be hazardous to your health
SOTF: Pear O'Dee Towers - Content Warning
I am an archival account used by staff to port old posts from handlers no longer active. If you are this handler, get in touch with staff and we can get your posts back for you! Lyndi avatar by Kermit.
Boy #10 Mac D. Pimpmeister waltzed down the hallways of the office section of the skyscraper, his Ho's in tow. He wore a magnificant hat with a broad rim, it was the color purple with spots adorned the fabrics, a large feather jutted from the right side of his hat. He wore a long robe in the same style as his hat, it was like a king's robe with the fur lining. He wore a magical red puffy shirt along with expensive pants the color of purple. He wore leather armani boots which clacked every time he took a step.
Mac's face was a rich brown, his eyes a dazzling blue. His hair was done up in cornrows, but you couldn't see that with his hat on. His eyes were also hidden behind some bitchin' sun glasses. His smile was dotted by many gold teeth. A lit cigar always dangling from his mouth.
His hand's shone with a divine brilliance only given by many gold rings covered in jewels. His gold watch secretly poking itself from his robes. Mac's left hand was clutching his cane, strong powerful wood covered in diamonds with a humongous diamond attached to the top.
His three Ho's followed behind, all wearing tube tops, mini-skirts, and spaghetti strap shoes. All of varying color, and all wearing a different assortment of jewelry. They were some well taken care of Ho's. They were also Girls 1, 2, and 3.
One Ho was carrying a boombox, he assigned weapon. It was blasting ghetto music, the beat driving them down the halls. Mac carried all the other weapons, two guns and a switchblade.
Suddenly, a girl ran at him crying.
"Oh thank god! LOVE ME!" Mary Sue McDonalds cried, this enraged Mac as he drew back his hand.
"Crazy ass bitch!" Mac plainly said, and with that his hand flew outwards. Smashing itself into the girl's face and sending her flying backwards out the window with the force of a sonic boom.
"BACKHAND!" Mac cried as he watched her fall to her death.
"Who do my bitches love?" Mac D. Pimpmeister asked, turning his gaze towards his Ho's. A deep understanding of them revealed in his eyes.
"We love you Mac Daddy!" The all said in unison, gazing at him with love and admiration.
"Let's ride." Mac said as he took a puff of his cigar, the music was switched back on and they walked forward. Into the building. And Stuff.
GIRL #67: MARY SUE McDonalds - DEAD
Mac's face was a rich brown, his eyes a dazzling blue. His hair was done up in cornrows, but you couldn't see that with his hat on. His eyes were also hidden behind some bitchin' sun glasses. His smile was dotted by many gold teeth. A lit cigar always dangling from his mouth.
His hand's shone with a divine brilliance only given by many gold rings covered in jewels. His gold watch secretly poking itself from his robes. Mac's left hand was clutching his cane, strong powerful wood covered in diamonds with a humongous diamond attached to the top.
His three Ho's followed behind, all wearing tube tops, mini-skirts, and spaghetti strap shoes. All of varying color, and all wearing a different assortment of jewelry. They were some well taken care of Ho's. They were also Girls 1, 2, and 3.
One Ho was carrying a boombox, he assigned weapon. It was blasting ghetto music, the beat driving them down the halls. Mac carried all the other weapons, two guns and a switchblade.
Suddenly, a girl ran at him crying.
"Oh thank god! LOVE ME!" Mary Sue McDonalds cried, this enraged Mac as he drew back his hand.
"Crazy ass bitch!" Mac plainly said, and with that his hand flew outwards. Smashing itself into the girl's face and sending her flying backwards out the window with the force of a sonic boom.
"BACKHAND!" Mac cried as he watched her fall to her death.
"Who do my bitches love?" Mac D. Pimpmeister asked, turning his gaze towards his Ho's. A deep understanding of them revealed in his eyes.
"We love you Mac Daddy!" The all said in unison, gazing at him with love and admiration.
"Let's ride." Mac said as he took a puff of his cigar, the music was switched back on and they walked forward. Into the building. And Stuff.
GIRL #67: MARY SUE McDonalds - DEAD
Content Warning: This contains amount of stupidity no one should be subjected to... ever. As well as sexual content and some inbreeding. How else to you expect to get the perfect person?
NOTE SARCASM
[font=Courier]The perfect Barbie measurement girl was buttoning her shirt as she peered out from the bathroom stall. Behind her was another student, his face eaten off and his pants around his ankles. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and hurried out of the bathroom, her perfect hair flowing down her back and her perfect eyes that would change from purple/blue/red/whore/green/brown/opaque whenever a certain STD was present in her ever revolving manhole.
She was the embodiment of beauty and charismatic to boot, and everyone in the game would have no choice but to succumb to her wonderful talents and accept her slutty attitude and lack of IQ or she wouldn't blow them. And we all know Queenie Sue is the master of sucking.
As she rounded the corner, making sure to walk nice and sexy so that every male in the building would suddenly get a hard on and flock to her instantly as if she had some kind of power, she saw another. Eyes wide, changing to the color she'd purple (herpes), she stormed over to the girl and pushed her.
The other girl turned, smiling brightly before she caught sight of the other Sue. Her face distorted, suddenly becoming a facehugger! Queenie Sue responded in the same fashion, and tried to claw the other Sue with her perfect nails, making sure she didn't break one in the process. The other Sue was blinded for a moment, and Queenie took that second to jam her 7 inch stilletos into the Sue's ovaries, causing the creature to tumble onto the floor in writhing agony as she melted into a cesspool of pink sludge.
Removing her shoes from the disgusting mess, that oddly smelled of ass and hot cheetos, her face returned to the perfectly perfect piece of perfect loveliness that any little fangirl with self esteem issues and a close relationship with a toilet could ever want to be! Cracking her knuckles as she continued on, she smiled brightly, one mission in mind:
Kill all the Mary Sues until she is the only one left![/font]
Mary Sue Ali- Girl #20- DEAD
NOTE SARCASM
[font=Courier]The perfect Barbie measurement girl was buttoning her shirt as she peered out from the bathroom stall. Behind her was another student, his face eaten off and his pants around his ankles. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and hurried out of the bathroom, her perfect hair flowing down her back and her perfect eyes that would change from purple/blue/red/whore/green/brown/opaque whenever a certain STD was present in her ever revolving manhole.
She was the embodiment of beauty and charismatic to boot, and everyone in the game would have no choice but to succumb to her wonderful talents and accept her slutty attitude and lack of IQ or she wouldn't blow them. And we all know Queenie Sue is the master of sucking.
As she rounded the corner, making sure to walk nice and sexy so that every male in the building would suddenly get a hard on and flock to her instantly as if she had some kind of power, she saw another. Eyes wide, changing to the color she'd purple (herpes), she stormed over to the girl and pushed her.
The other girl turned, smiling brightly before she caught sight of the other Sue. Her face distorted, suddenly becoming a facehugger! Queenie Sue responded in the same fashion, and tried to claw the other Sue with her perfect nails, making sure she didn't break one in the process. The other Sue was blinded for a moment, and Queenie took that second to jam her 7 inch stilletos into the Sue's ovaries, causing the creature to tumble onto the floor in writhing agony as she melted into a cesspool of pink sludge.
Removing her shoes from the disgusting mess, that oddly smelled of ass and hot cheetos, her face returned to the perfectly perfect piece of perfect loveliness that any little fangirl with self esteem issues and a close relationship with a toilet could ever want to be! Cracking her knuckles as she continued on, she smiled brightly, one mission in mind:
Kill all the Mary Sues until she is the only one left![/font]
Mary Sue Ali- Girl #20- DEAD
I am an archival account used by staff to port old posts from handlers no longer active. If you are this handler, get in touch with staff and we can get your posts back for you! Marie avatar by Kermit.
While all this craziness was goin' on and the white folks was still dyin', Boy Numbah 33, T-Bone himself, was, you guessed it, still runnin' his ass off. He was doin' pretty damned good, if he did say so himself. He'd made it through the bottom three floors of the tower without anybody attackin' him. Nobody attackin' the black man is good, right? T-Bone dug into his pack and pulled out a ... a plum? The fuck? This wasn't a damned nursery rhyme, you fools! Continuing to fondle the items in the bag, T-Bone quickly discovered that the plum was food he'd been issued and that his real weapon was a ... box of condoms? SHIT!
Wait, wait... OH! Apparently, Mistah D was an advocate of safe sex. Rock on, motherfucker. Rock on. T-Bone's real weapon was a whip. A whip, he could live with. He could most certainly live with. Behind him, T-Bone heard the rustling of leaves. Why leaves were rustling within the confines of a building, T didn't know. Attribute it to shag carpetting or something. C'mon ya'll, T has to hear the bad guy somehow, otherwise that would just be lame! Back to the story.
"So, we meet again, T-Bone!" the lisp was unmistakable. T-Bone turned around to see, "That's right, you fool! It's me! Gary Stu Doogleberry!"
"Aw shit, Gary, the fuck d'you want?" T-Bone inquired in an annoyed voice.
"What do I want?" Gary repeated the question shyly before reaching into the sheath on his back and retrieving his massive sword. Holding is akin to Sephiroth, Gary grinned and pointed it at T-Bone, "I want you bitch! Let's do it doggy-style!"
Ah shit. Gary ran at T-Bone with incredibly amazing supersonic speed and attempted to slash at him with his big 'ole sword, but using his uncanny black people cat-like reflexes, cause, let's face it, black people are fast runners and they're good at basketball, but I digress, using his amazing cat-like reflexes, T-Bone ninja-dodged Gary's bad ass sword maneuver and busted out his whip. Now this doesn't seem like a fair fight, does it? The amazingly incredible Gary Stu is armed with such a phantasmically awesome weapon and super Sephiroth skills and poor T-Bone only has his black-people reflexes and a whip. Keep reading.
"BITCH!" Gary shrieked as he swung the sword wildly, "You told me you loved me! You told me you wanted to be with me! You fucking whore! How could you! HOW COULD YOU LIKE WOMEN YOU FILTHY SLUT!"
T-Bone managed to dodge the crazed Stu's wild blows, "Calm down trick, you ain't my baby mama! I told you Gary, you too damned clingy. You need to back off, fool! I only slept with you one time, dang! It was only once!"
T-Bone swung the whip around, cracking Gary in the ribs with it. Much to his astonishment, Gary ceased his relentless assault with the sword and cooed loudly. "Oh, T-Bone! Do it again baby, do it harder!" Despite himself, T-Bone continued whipping the Stu. Momentarily, however, T realized what he was doing and how unbearably wrong it was. Quickly grabbing Gary's sword, T sliced off his head.
"YOU BITCH!" the severed head continued, "You told me you'd stay with me forever if I--"
The head finally ceased the verbal assault as T-Bone chopped it in two. Shuddering from the events that had transpired, T-Bone let out a relieved sigh and picked up both the sword and the whip before heading away from Gary Stu's severed and chopped up head laying on the ground. Man, that shit was creepy. Don't you agree? Sighing to himself, T-Bone took off and began doing the one thing everyone told him he was always good at -- running. They used to tell him he was good enough to be on America's Most Wanted. Now, all T-Bone was thinking about was living through this ordeal and not getting ass-raped in the process.
BOY #27 - GARY STU DOOGLEBERRY - DECEASED
Wait, wait... OH! Apparently, Mistah D was an advocate of safe sex. Rock on, motherfucker. Rock on. T-Bone's real weapon was a whip. A whip, he could live with. He could most certainly live with. Behind him, T-Bone heard the rustling of leaves. Why leaves were rustling within the confines of a building, T didn't know. Attribute it to shag carpetting or something. C'mon ya'll, T has to hear the bad guy somehow, otherwise that would just be lame! Back to the story.
"So, we meet again, T-Bone!" the lisp was unmistakable. T-Bone turned around to see, "That's right, you fool! It's me! Gary Stu Doogleberry!"
"Aw shit, Gary, the fuck d'you want?" T-Bone inquired in an annoyed voice.
"What do I want?" Gary repeated the question shyly before reaching into the sheath on his back and retrieving his massive sword. Holding is akin to Sephiroth, Gary grinned and pointed it at T-Bone, "I want you bitch! Let's do it doggy-style!"
Ah shit. Gary ran at T-Bone with incredibly amazing supersonic speed and attempted to slash at him with his big 'ole sword, but using his uncanny black people cat-like reflexes, cause, let's face it, black people are fast runners and they're good at basketball, but I digress, using his amazing cat-like reflexes, T-Bone ninja-dodged Gary's bad ass sword maneuver and busted out his whip. Now this doesn't seem like a fair fight, does it? The amazingly incredible Gary Stu is armed with such a phantasmically awesome weapon and super Sephiroth skills and poor T-Bone only has his black-people reflexes and a whip. Keep reading.
"BITCH!" Gary shrieked as he swung the sword wildly, "You told me you loved me! You told me you wanted to be with me! You fucking whore! How could you! HOW COULD YOU LIKE WOMEN YOU FILTHY SLUT!"
T-Bone managed to dodge the crazed Stu's wild blows, "Calm down trick, you ain't my baby mama! I told you Gary, you too damned clingy. You need to back off, fool! I only slept with you one time, dang! It was only once!"
T-Bone swung the whip around, cracking Gary in the ribs with it. Much to his astonishment, Gary ceased his relentless assault with the sword and cooed loudly. "Oh, T-Bone! Do it again baby, do it harder!" Despite himself, T-Bone continued whipping the Stu. Momentarily, however, T realized what he was doing and how unbearably wrong it was. Quickly grabbing Gary's sword, T sliced off his head.
"YOU BITCH!" the severed head continued, "You told me you'd stay with me forever if I--"
The head finally ceased the verbal assault as T-Bone chopped it in two. Shuddering from the events that had transpired, T-Bone let out a relieved sigh and picked up both the sword and the whip before heading away from Gary Stu's severed and chopped up head laying on the ground. Man, that shit was creepy. Don't you agree? Sighing to himself, T-Bone took off and began doing the one thing everyone told him he was always good at -- running. They used to tell him he was good enough to be on America's Most Wanted. Now, all T-Bone was thinking about was living through this ordeal and not getting ass-raped in the process.
BOY #27 - GARY STU DOOGLEBERRY - DECEASED
I am an archival account used by staff to port old posts from handlers no longer active. If you are this handler, get in touch with staff and we can get your posts back for you! Lyndi avatar by Kermit.
Damien Mephisto McSatan opened his blood red eyes. He ran a hand through his 3-foot tall spiky jet black hair and smiled sinisterly. He was really dark and scary once you got past his fearsome exterior. He had just woken up from a lovely nap, which he'd taken right in the middle of a vacant room because he was super badass and shit. He smiled sinisterly and glanced around him, ruffling the collar to his leather jacket and unsheathing his katana that he fortunately always brought with him to pep rallies to keep the jocks in their place, although he could easily have dealt with them using his bare hands; he was a grand master in Karate/Tae Kwon Do/Ninjutsu/Kung Fu/Capoeira, and had trained with his fathers samurai sword for 16 years. He was 14 years old since December 13th, but had gotten nothing for his birthday because he killed his father when he was 6. He was 6'6" and a bajillion pounds, all muscle. He smiled sinisterly and twirled the sword around expertly at 160 miles per hour, then used his super hearing to detect where any enemies might be. He had an advantage, though; nobody else had known about this sinister plot except for him, since he'd hacked into Mistah D's programs a day before, and instead of simply not attending the pep rally had slowly sauntered in with a sinister grin. When the helicopters had arrived to kidnap him and his fellow students, he'd killed six of the terrorists at the same time and hijacked one of the choppers, following the rest of the terrorists with one thing in mind: revenge. Now here he was, barely able to keep his second personality in tow (who was also a badass), trapped in the middle of the building surrounded by enemies ready to rip him to shreds. Perfect. He looked inside of his pack and pulled out a FAMAS. Yawn! That would be too easy. He gingerly tossed the FAMAS aside and headed for the door. If there was one thing he hated more than a fresh paragraph, it was a boring game. 'In fact,' he thought to himself, a sinister smile crossing his lips, 'let's make it a bit more interesting.' He swiftly plunged his samurai sword into his stomach, pulling it out and leaving a sizeable wound. That would make it a little more fair to the other students. He headed towards the door but was stopped by one of the jocks with a Scarab gun from Halo. It was Jeff Jefferson, the star quarterback. He looked scared and pathetic and especially small-penised even for him. Damien looked at him and smiled sinisterly. "Are you going to shoot, or are you a coward?", he said. Jeff answered hesitantly, "I'll teach you for beating me in football and stealing my girlfriend!" He shot Damien twice, once in each shoulder, but instead of crying out in pain Damien smiled sinisterly. "I don't feel pain, you worm," he said, a slow sinister grin spreading across his face. "Pain is for the weak. Now I'll give you to the count of 3 before I kill you and drink your blood." Jeff screamed and pissed his pants, dropping his weapon and falling on his knees. "Please, no!" he begged. "Show mercy!" "Very well," Damien smiled sinisterly, "I'll spare your pitiful life for now." All of a sudden Jeff pulled out another gun (he was issued two guns), a Golden Gun which would kill in one hit. Now it was serious. As Jeff shot at him, Damien dodged the lethal bullet effortlessly with a sinister grin and sliced clean through Jeff's neck with his katana. Jeff screamed six times and then his head finally slid off onto the floor. Damien, covered in Jeff's neck-blood, smiled sinisterly and said under his breath, "Mercy isn't my forte." With that, he continued out the door into the hallway where more fun awaited.
BOY #11 - JEFF JEFFERSON: DECEASED
BOY #11 - JEFF JEFFERSON: DECEASED
Chuck Noriss sat in the lobby sipping on a coca-cola. He smiled and he heard the screams and shouts of the other students who were running around the building killing each other. He remembered when Mistah D had contacted him and asked him to participate in the game. Chuck Noriss gladly agreed because well, he was Chuck Noriss. He could do whatever he wanted. Mistah D paid him 1000000000000000 dollars to come down and help slaughter the students, that way there was more bloodshed, which in return would make for a better evenening for Mistah D and his lady friend.
So Chuck Noriss finished his coke and placed it on the table. Using his supersonic hearing he heard a student sneaking up on him. Chuck smiled and turned around to face the timid student. Since Chuck Noriss was more powerful than god himself, all he had to do was look at the student and put him in a frozen trance. With that he gave the student a roundhouse kick to the face that was like a million atom bombs going off, and the student flew back and crashed through the wall.
Chuck smiled but wasn't expecting that the student he had kicked was none other than Tommy Romero. He was the son of the godfather of the world, and he had killed like a million people in his gang conquests. Also Tommy was gay, yet he spent his entire life going to a christian school until he finally transfered to the il-fated school in Urbansville. So basically Tommy was a gay/ganglord/ super fighter. He stood up as if the roundhouse kick didn't effect him any. He smiled at Chuck and pulled out his weapon, which happened to be a giant machine gun.
Pulling the trigger he fired like a 13129851736527374625384636 bullets into Chuck, but they didn't effect him. Chuck Norris knew he was going to have to use his super powers to win this fight. So he clapped twice causing the lights in the room to go out. Using his cat like reflexes he ended up behind Tommy and made a knife magically appear in his hand. Ramming the knife into Tommy he smiled as he felt the blood run onto his hand. Tommy clapped twice and the lights went on, and Chuck was surprised to see he wasn't stabbing Tommy, but a cat that had mysteriously ended up in his position and that was floating in the air in just the right spot.
Tommy charged Chuck crashing into him, and the two continued to roll on the floor for a bit before they both stopped and looked at each other. Tommy was panting out of breath, and so was Chuck. The sweat glistened off the both of them and Tommy said, "You know what Chuck. I love you. I really do." Chuck Noriss looked at Tommy and said, "But....we can't. You're underage...I'm...old." Tommy said, "No one will know Chuck. Please take me in your arms." Chuck Noriss said, "No! We have to fight and kill each other!"
Suddenly the room become just the right lighting and music started to play. Tommy pulled out a microphone and stood up and started to sing along with the music. A light shone on him and he sang.
"Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?"
Chuck Noriss stood up too, and also pulled out a microphone. The spotlight shone on him as he sang also.
"I seen you 'round for a long long time
I really 'membered you when you drink my wine"
The two continued to sing, gradually becoming closer, and when the lyrics of the song ended they both locked lips. Unfortunately for Tommy no one messes with Chuck Noriss. As they continued to wrestle with their toungues Chuck Noriss drove his knife through Tommy, and right through his heart. Tommy stopped kissing Chuck and mouthed, "I'll always love you" as he died. He died of a broken heart. Chuck Noriss smiled and walked out of the room looking for more victims.
BOY# 13 Tommy Romero DEAD
So Chuck Noriss finished his coke and placed it on the table. Using his supersonic hearing he heard a student sneaking up on him. Chuck smiled and turned around to face the timid student. Since Chuck Noriss was more powerful than god himself, all he had to do was look at the student and put him in a frozen trance. With that he gave the student a roundhouse kick to the face that was like a million atom bombs going off, and the student flew back and crashed through the wall.
Chuck smiled but wasn't expecting that the student he had kicked was none other than Tommy Romero. He was the son of the godfather of the world, and he had killed like a million people in his gang conquests. Also Tommy was gay, yet he spent his entire life going to a christian school until he finally transfered to the il-fated school in Urbansville. So basically Tommy was a gay/ganglord/ super fighter. He stood up as if the roundhouse kick didn't effect him any. He smiled at Chuck and pulled out his weapon, which happened to be a giant machine gun.
Pulling the trigger he fired like a 13129851736527374625384636 bullets into Chuck, but they didn't effect him. Chuck Norris knew he was going to have to use his super powers to win this fight. So he clapped twice causing the lights in the room to go out. Using his cat like reflexes he ended up behind Tommy and made a knife magically appear in his hand. Ramming the knife into Tommy he smiled as he felt the blood run onto his hand. Tommy clapped twice and the lights went on, and Chuck was surprised to see he wasn't stabbing Tommy, but a cat that had mysteriously ended up in his position and that was floating in the air in just the right spot.
Tommy charged Chuck crashing into him, and the two continued to roll on the floor for a bit before they both stopped and looked at each other. Tommy was panting out of breath, and so was Chuck. The sweat glistened off the both of them and Tommy said, "You know what Chuck. I love you. I really do." Chuck Noriss looked at Tommy and said, "But....we can't. You're underage...I'm...old." Tommy said, "No one will know Chuck. Please take me in your arms." Chuck Noriss said, "No! We have to fight and kill each other!"
Suddenly the room become just the right lighting and music started to play. Tommy pulled out a microphone and stood up and started to sing along with the music. A light shone on him and he sang.
"Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?"
Chuck Noriss stood up too, and also pulled out a microphone. The spotlight shone on him as he sang also.
"I seen you 'round for a long long time
I really 'membered you when you drink my wine"
The two continued to sing, gradually becoming closer, and when the lyrics of the song ended they both locked lips. Unfortunately for Tommy no one messes with Chuck Noriss. As they continued to wrestle with their toungues Chuck Noriss drove his knife through Tommy, and right through his heart. Tommy stopped kissing Chuck and mouthed, "I'll always love you" as he died. He died of a broken heart. Chuck Noriss smiled and walked out of the room looking for more victims.
BOY# 13 Tommy Romero DEAD
I am an archival account used by staff to port old posts from handlers no longer active. If you are this handler, get in touch with staff and we can get your posts back for you! Jeremy avatar by Kermit.
Meanwhile, Damien killed this many people!
BOY #3: AARON FILIBUSTER - DEAD
BOY #7: THOMAS REED - DEAD
BOY #12: CORY MCPHERSON - DEAD
BOY #15: GEORGE TIMMINS - DEAD
GIRL #92: BARBARELLA JIMS - DEAD
BOY #16: LAZ BORCHENZO - DEAD
BOY #20: KYLE MERCHANT - DEAD
BOY #28: FRED KERBALSKI - DEAD
GIRL #26: WYNONA PALTERFORD - DEAD
BOY #33: LARRY JOHNSON - DEAD
GIRL #47: ASHLEY LAZARUS - DEAD
BOY #37: HUGH JASS - DEAD
BOY #46: JIMMY STRYSAND - DEAD
GIRL #51: AMANDA HUGGANKISS - DEAD
GIRL #69: RASHANDA FRANKLYN - DEAD
BOY #51: KIP LANGER - DEAD
BOY #53: ALBERT WOO - DEAD
BOY #58: TERRY GINGER - DEAD
BOY #70: SAM MALONE - DEAD
BOY #73: JOHN REEDMAN - DEAD
GIRL #23: SALLY SANFORD - DEAD
BOY #74: YNGWIE STEPFORD - DEAD
BOY #85: CHOI YONG HOON - DEAD
BOY #90: FATTY THOMPSON - DEAD
GIRL #76: VALINDA WONDERHEART - DEAD
BOY #97: DANIEL SCROOGE - DEAD
GIRL #2: YOSHIMI OKU - DEAD
BOY #105: ZAK MUMFORD - DEAD
BOY #119: SCRUFFY MAGOO - DEAD
GIRL #73: BABYCAKES MCGEE - DEAD
BOY #3: AARON FILIBUSTER - DEAD
BOY #7: THOMAS REED - DEAD
BOY #12: CORY MCPHERSON - DEAD
BOY #15: GEORGE TIMMINS - DEAD
GIRL #92: BARBARELLA JIMS - DEAD
BOY #16: LAZ BORCHENZO - DEAD
BOY #20: KYLE MERCHANT - DEAD
BOY #28: FRED KERBALSKI - DEAD
GIRL #26: WYNONA PALTERFORD - DEAD
BOY #33: LARRY JOHNSON - DEAD
GIRL #47: ASHLEY LAZARUS - DEAD
BOY #37: HUGH JASS - DEAD
BOY #46: JIMMY STRYSAND - DEAD
GIRL #51: AMANDA HUGGANKISS - DEAD
GIRL #69: RASHANDA FRANKLYN - DEAD
BOY #51: KIP LANGER - DEAD
BOY #53: ALBERT WOO - DEAD
BOY #58: TERRY GINGER - DEAD
BOY #70: SAM MALONE - DEAD
BOY #73: JOHN REEDMAN - DEAD
GIRL #23: SALLY SANFORD - DEAD
BOY #74: YNGWIE STEPFORD - DEAD
BOY #85: CHOI YONG HOON - DEAD
BOY #90: FATTY THOMPSON - DEAD
GIRL #76: VALINDA WONDERHEART - DEAD
BOY #97: DANIEL SCROOGE - DEAD
GIRL #2: YOSHIMI OKU - DEAD
BOY #105: ZAK MUMFORD - DEAD
BOY #119: SCRUFFY MAGOO - DEAD
GIRL #73: BABYCAKES MCGEE - DEAD
Meanwhile...
Phoenixia Ophelia Alexandra Nikianne Stephania Odessa Mariabella Lauretta Susan Christine Quinn Wynona Juliet Til Alexandros XXXVII -- known as Girl #5, Phoenixia, to those who didn't have the time, the need, nor the intelligence to pronounce such a wonderfully extravagant name, ambled aimlessly down the hallways. Phoenixia stemmed from such a tragic past that she need be pitied by those around her -- after all, she WAS just used for a booty call in the janitor's closet by a student showing some vague resemblance to her father, and it was a traumatizing experience!
Despite having undergone such traumatizing events in the short span of her life, Phoenixia held the maturity of someone many times her elder, not to mention the stunning appearance of someone in their early twenties despite the fact that she was only fourteen and by all rights of nature should be an A-cup instead of a D. Then again, she was Phoenixia, therefore, she was beyond the concepts of normal mortals in this alternate reality. She was a step above those peons. She was a supreme human being... but of course, Phoenixia was oh-so-humble about that fact.
Phoenixia was in quite the predicament. See, she was written into this story to take on the role of one, Shuya Nanahara, and preach the ever-famous "Let's make love, not war!" slogan and just generally annoy the hell out of everyone throughout the course of her time here. However, all was not right in the Sue-niverse. Using her super sensing powers, Phoenixia could sense that other Sues lurked within the corridors of this unholy ground, and that just would not do. If other Sues occupied her territory, they would take away from her ever awesome Sue~ness, and Phoenixia wasn't ready to part with her awesomely awesome likeableness yet.
Besides, she was supposed to be sleeping with all the boys and never getting pregnant or contracting STDs, not those other bimbos.
Using her Super Sue radar, coupled with her uncharacteristically detailed knowledge of the interior of the tower (because, you know, Phoenixia just KNEW the layout of the building), the beautiful Miss 'Til Alexandros XXXVII pinpointed the one person in this building she felt capable of destroying her awesome world of Sue-ish Sueiness. This girl had been her rival in Sue-dom for as long as as Phoenixia could remember, and she was an evil who must be vanquished at all costs: she was Queenie Sue.
That bitch must die!
As the above bolded, red sentence stated, Phoenixia had one goal in mind, and that was to kill Queenie Sue. Of course, being the awesomely awesome epitomé of awesomeness that Phoenixia was, it was perfectly okay for her to kill someone in cold blood and everyone would still love and worship and lick her feet anyway -- in fact, they'd do it double-time now because that stupid bitch Queenie would be out of the picture and would finally stop hogging all of the adoring masses that were rightfully Phoenixia's!
Using her super-awesome powers of teleportation, Phoenixia teleported off, landing directly behind Queenie Sue at the speed of light. Holding the vibrator that she was issued as a weapon, she pointed it at Queenie while assuming a Samurai stance. She was Phoenixia 'Til Alexandros XXXVII! She could easily kill someone with a vibrator!
"QUEENIE!" she shouted down the hallway, "I blow better than you!"
The fateful confrontation had begun, and the Battle of the Sues was being waged. After all, there can be only one in the SOTF Sue-niverse! CHARGE!
Phoenixia Ophelia Alexandra Nikianne Stephania Odessa Mariabella Lauretta Susan Christine Quinn Wynona Juliet Til Alexandros XXXVII -- known as Girl #5, Phoenixia, to those who didn't have the time, the need, nor the intelligence to pronounce such a wonderfully extravagant name, ambled aimlessly down the hallways. Phoenixia stemmed from such a tragic past that she need be pitied by those around her -- after all, she WAS just used for a booty call in the janitor's closet by a student showing some vague resemblance to her father, and it was a traumatizing experience!
Despite having undergone such traumatizing events in the short span of her life, Phoenixia held the maturity of someone many times her elder, not to mention the stunning appearance of someone in their early twenties despite the fact that she was only fourteen and by all rights of nature should be an A-cup instead of a D. Then again, she was Phoenixia, therefore, she was beyond the concepts of normal mortals in this alternate reality. She was a step above those peons. She was a supreme human being... but of course, Phoenixia was oh-so-humble about that fact.
Phoenixia was in quite the predicament. See, she was written into this story to take on the role of one, Shuya Nanahara, and preach the ever-famous "Let's make love, not war!" slogan and just generally annoy the hell out of everyone throughout the course of her time here. However, all was not right in the Sue-niverse. Using her super sensing powers, Phoenixia could sense that other Sues lurked within the corridors of this unholy ground, and that just would not do. If other Sues occupied her territory, they would take away from her ever awesome Sue~ness, and Phoenixia wasn't ready to part with her awesomely awesome likeableness yet.
Besides, she was supposed to be sleeping with all the boys and never getting pregnant or contracting STDs, not those other bimbos.
Using her Super Sue radar, coupled with her uncharacteristically detailed knowledge of the interior of the tower (because, you know, Phoenixia just KNEW the layout of the building), the beautiful Miss 'Til Alexandros XXXVII pinpointed the one person in this building she felt capable of destroying her awesome world of Sue-ish Sueiness. This girl had been her rival in Sue-dom for as long as as Phoenixia could remember, and she was an evil who must be vanquished at all costs: she was Queenie Sue.
That bitch must die!
As the above bolded, red sentence stated, Phoenixia had one goal in mind, and that was to kill Queenie Sue. Of course, being the awesomely awesome epitomé of awesomeness that Phoenixia was, it was perfectly okay for her to kill someone in cold blood and everyone would still love and worship and lick her feet anyway -- in fact, they'd do it double-time now because that stupid bitch Queenie would be out of the picture and would finally stop hogging all of the adoring masses that were rightfully Phoenixia's!
Using her super-awesome powers of teleportation, Phoenixia teleported off, landing directly behind Queenie Sue at the speed of light. Holding the vibrator that she was issued as a weapon, she pointed it at Queenie while assuming a Samurai stance. She was Phoenixia 'Til Alexandros XXXVII! She could easily kill someone with a vibrator!
"QUEENIE!" she shouted down the hallway, "I blow better than you!"
The fateful confrontation had begun, and the Battle of the Sues was being waged. After all, there can be only one in the SOTF Sue-niverse! CHARGE!
I am an archival account used by staff to port old posts from handlers no longer active. If you are this handler, get in touch with staff and we can get your posts back for you! Lyndi avatar by Kermit.
O.O.C: Damien's really really badass, guys.
Damien's wound was becoming a bit annoying. He'd inflicted it upon himself as a means of squaring out the odds a bit, but apparently he'd gone a bit too deep and was now in need of a band-aid. He sauntered slowly down another hallway, and just as he was approaching a door marked "Medical Room" he saw a glint of metal and another student holding a Scorpion vz. 61 flew around the corner, about ten yards away, well out of range--OR WAS HE!!?? Damien smiled sinisterly as he grabbed his sword and threw it directly into the chest of his opponent, killing him instantly. Damien stood there for a second and a slow, sinister smile spread over his face. Just then someone grabbed him from behind and held a knife to his throat. "I'm going to kill you!" they whispered, grabbing his ass with their free hand for some reason. He smiled and didn't say anything. "Hey! I said I'm going to kill you! Aren't you going to scream?" the voice hissed. "No," Damien smiled sinisterly, "but you are." And with that he shifted his waist to the right and plunged his samurai sword into his attackers gut, smiling sinisterly as blood sprayed in all directions and, sure enough, a piercing scream echoed down the hallway. The assailant fell swiftly, and Damien turned to see that it was in fact a girl. "What do you know," he remarked under his breath. He walked over to his first victims corpse and withdrew his katana from the dead boys heart. A spurt of blood ensued, splattering on Damien's face. He smiled sinisterly and wiped it off with his hand. "This is fun," he said, showing no sign of any emotion whatsoever. Emotion was a waste of time. He laughed and cried and entered the door to the medical room. There was a girl about his age huddled in the corner, her clothes in a pile beside her. She was crying. "Don't cry," he said, and she stopped. "Why are you naked?" he asked her. Not that he was complaining; he was totally heterosexual. Totally. She said, "I don't know. But I'm scared." "I need some healing," Damien said, raising an eyebrow and giving her a sinister grin. "Some....!?!SEXUAL!!?....healing." She immediately approached him and started MAKINNN' OOOUT! He gingerly shrugged off his black trenchcoat (what do you mean, leather jacket? no, it was a trenchcoat) and began sexing her up.
* * *
26 hours later, he crawled out of the hospital bed that they'd been loving in all night long and smiled sinisterly. She lay dead between the covers, screwed to death. He looked down at the wound on his muscular abs. It had healed completely. It was time to resume the game. He pulled his pants on, grabbing his trenchcoat and sword but leaving his shirt there because she'd ripped it to shreds somewhere around the 5th time. She wasn't bad, but he'd had better. He lit a cigarette on his way out the door and threw the match into the bed, which ignited instantly into flames.
BOY #63: JEBEDIAH WONTON - DEAD
GIRL #38: JOY QUEZACOTL - DEAD
GIRL #16: SWEET PETITE - DEAD
Damien's wound was becoming a bit annoying. He'd inflicted it upon himself as a means of squaring out the odds a bit, but apparently he'd gone a bit too deep and was now in need of a band-aid. He sauntered slowly down another hallway, and just as he was approaching a door marked "Medical Room" he saw a glint of metal and another student holding a Scorpion vz. 61 flew around the corner, about ten yards away, well out of range--OR WAS HE!!?? Damien smiled sinisterly as he grabbed his sword and threw it directly into the chest of his opponent, killing him instantly. Damien stood there for a second and a slow, sinister smile spread over his face. Just then someone grabbed him from behind and held a knife to his throat. "I'm going to kill you!" they whispered, grabbing his ass with their free hand for some reason. He smiled and didn't say anything. "Hey! I said I'm going to kill you! Aren't you going to scream?" the voice hissed. "No," Damien smiled sinisterly, "but you are." And with that he shifted his waist to the right and plunged his samurai sword into his attackers gut, smiling sinisterly as blood sprayed in all directions and, sure enough, a piercing scream echoed down the hallway. The assailant fell swiftly, and Damien turned to see that it was in fact a girl. "What do you know," he remarked under his breath. He walked over to his first victims corpse and withdrew his katana from the dead boys heart. A spurt of blood ensued, splattering on Damien's face. He smiled sinisterly and wiped it off with his hand. "This is fun," he said, showing no sign of any emotion whatsoever. Emotion was a waste of time. He laughed and cried and entered the door to the medical room. There was a girl about his age huddled in the corner, her clothes in a pile beside her. She was crying. "Don't cry," he said, and she stopped. "Why are you naked?" he asked her. Not that he was complaining; he was totally heterosexual. Totally. She said, "I don't know. But I'm scared." "I need some healing," Damien said, raising an eyebrow and giving her a sinister grin. "Some....!?!SEXUAL!!?....healing." She immediately approached him and started MAKINNN' OOOUT! He gingerly shrugged off his black trenchcoat (what do you mean, leather jacket? no, it was a trenchcoat) and began sexing her up.
* * *
26 hours later, he crawled out of the hospital bed that they'd been loving in all night long and smiled sinisterly. She lay dead between the covers, screwed to death. He looked down at the wound on his muscular abs. It had healed completely. It was time to resume the game. He pulled his pants on, grabbing his trenchcoat and sword but leaving his shirt there because she'd ripped it to shreds somewhere around the 5th time. She wasn't bad, but he'd had better. He lit a cigarette on his way out the door and threw the match into the bed, which ignited instantly into flames.
BOY #63: JEBEDIAH WONTON - DEAD
GIRL #38: JOY QUEZACOTL - DEAD
GIRL #16: SWEET PETITE - DEAD
(OOC: Haha Ebony my grandmother had barbie measurements back in the day... needless to say she doesn't anymore but yeah...)
Meanwhile somewhere else on the battlefield, Guy Gaynor (Boy # 5871) was treading water in the lake. He had decided to go for a swim to calm his nerves. Guy was gay, and this fact made him the single most unique person in the battle royale. He loved fashion, he loved mineral water, and he adored interior design. Guy wanted to be a hairdresser when he got older. Guy was extra special. But sadly when Guy came out of the closet all of his friends abandoned him... they thought being gay might be contagious. And so Guy had morphed into a shell of his old vibrant self. He no longer had that sparkle in his eye, or that feminine pep in his voice. Guy resented his classmates, especially the jocks, who had made his life a living hell since he came out. And this was why Guy planned on playing this game. Walking out of the murky water and onto the beach Guy grabbed a towel and sexily let his body soak up the glow of the setting sun. He looked stunning in his speedo.
"I am shemale hear me roar!" he screamed, and all across the island fear was instilled into the hearts of his tormentors. Guy grabbed his weapon, a kama and headed towards the treeline.
***
Jacque Jockerson was a star on the schools football team. He loved titties and pussy and playing rough. He hated muslims and gays and anyone who was different than him. As he sat huddled under a table in a remote cabin he thought about how he would love to rip that black lesbian jewish girl from the bus to shreds, if only he was brave enough. Of course being a testosterone pumped manly man he thought lesbians were hot as long as they had big titties. Jacque hoped he could wait out the game and then perhaps jump the last remaining survivor and kill them. Only then would he be crowned Battle Royale: Pear O'Dee Island's victor.
He was thinking about pussy when he heard the door open.
Omigod!
Jacque trembled as he heard someone rummaging around in the house! Ahh and they were in the kitchen now! Jacque was hiding under the kitchen table! This wasn't good. He heard the high pitched voice sigh and say in a barely audible hiss, "I guess no one is here. To bad."
Just then Jacque saw a mouse and screamed.
"Hello," the feminine voice said.
A well manicured hand pushed back the table cloth. Jacque saw one of the people he hated the most in the whole world. It was Guy Gaynor, the faggot. If he hadn't been frozen in fear, Jacque would have ripped guy to shreds.
"Jacque? Is that you," Guy asked in the dark.
"G-g-guy," Jacque choked, "hi... I was never friendly with your clique but I suppose you can stay here... you fag."
The two hugged.
Jacque was happy to be with someone else, maybe Guy would protect him.
Just then there was a sickening slice, like the sound of a lemon being split open, and then came the burning in the back Jacque's throat.
"I'm sorry, I just don't want to be a loser anymore. I am gay and unique and am like nothing Battle Royale has ever seen because I have a penis and not a clitoris. Thankyou that is all," Guy said wiping the one of a kind fake tears from his once again sparkling eyes.
Jacque lay dying and curled up into a fetal position and then he died.
BOY NO. 90294955666 JACQUE JOCKERSON DEAD AHHHHHHHHH!
Meanwhile somewhere else on the battlefield, Guy Gaynor (Boy # 5871) was treading water in the lake. He had decided to go for a swim to calm his nerves. Guy was gay, and this fact made him the single most unique person in the battle royale. He loved fashion, he loved mineral water, and he adored interior design. Guy wanted to be a hairdresser when he got older. Guy was extra special. But sadly when Guy came out of the closet all of his friends abandoned him... they thought being gay might be contagious. And so Guy had morphed into a shell of his old vibrant self. He no longer had that sparkle in his eye, or that feminine pep in his voice. Guy resented his classmates, especially the jocks, who had made his life a living hell since he came out. And this was why Guy planned on playing this game. Walking out of the murky water and onto the beach Guy grabbed a towel and sexily let his body soak up the glow of the setting sun. He looked stunning in his speedo.
"I am shemale hear me roar!" he screamed, and all across the island fear was instilled into the hearts of his tormentors. Guy grabbed his weapon, a kama and headed towards the treeline.
***
Jacque Jockerson was a star on the schools football team. He loved titties and pussy and playing rough. He hated muslims and gays and anyone who was different than him. As he sat huddled under a table in a remote cabin he thought about how he would love to rip that black lesbian jewish girl from the bus to shreds, if only he was brave enough. Of course being a testosterone pumped manly man he thought lesbians were hot as long as they had big titties. Jacque hoped he could wait out the game and then perhaps jump the last remaining survivor and kill them. Only then would he be crowned Battle Royale: Pear O'Dee Island's victor.
He was thinking about pussy when he heard the door open.
Omigod!
Jacque trembled as he heard someone rummaging around in the house! Ahh and they were in the kitchen now! Jacque was hiding under the kitchen table! This wasn't good. He heard the high pitched voice sigh and say in a barely audible hiss, "I guess no one is here. To bad."
Just then Jacque saw a mouse and screamed.
"Hello," the feminine voice said.
A well manicured hand pushed back the table cloth. Jacque saw one of the people he hated the most in the whole world. It was Guy Gaynor, the faggot. If he hadn't been frozen in fear, Jacque would have ripped guy to shreds.
"Jacque? Is that you," Guy asked in the dark.
"G-g-guy," Jacque choked, "hi... I was never friendly with your clique but I suppose you can stay here... you fag."
The two hugged.
Jacque was happy to be with someone else, maybe Guy would protect him.
Just then there was a sickening slice, like the sound of a lemon being split open, and then came the burning in the back Jacque's throat.
"I'm sorry, I just don't want to be a loser anymore. I am gay and unique and am like nothing Battle Royale has ever seen because I have a penis and not a clitoris. Thankyou that is all," Guy said wiping the one of a kind fake tears from his once again sparkling eyes.
Jacque lay dying and curled up into a fetal position and then he died.
BOY NO. 90294955666 JACQUE JOCKERSON DEAD AHHHHHHHHH!
I am an archival account used by staff to port old posts from handlers no longer active. If you are this handler, get in touch with staff and we can get your posts back for you! Aiden avatar by Kermit.
Adam woke up and looked around the island. He felt the collar on his neck and the blood rushed from his face. He couldn't believe the odds. Searching through his bag, he found the instruction manuals explaining the situation. Looking around, Adam sighed to himself and shook his head.
"Not again..."
Finding his weapon to be a partially chewed shoe, Adam walked over to the ravine that he had landed beside. Sitting down on a rock, he scratched his chin, deep in thought. Finally, he made up his mind.
"Fuck this."
With that, Adam twisted his own head off with his bare hands.
BOY #77 ADAM DODD - DEAD
Adam then woke up again, at exactly the same spot that he had started at. With a start, he realized that his coprse was actually lying on the ground in front of him, and that he'd almost materialized out of thin air. Blinking to himself, he silently wondered what the fuck was going on. Flat-out refusing to let himself be subjected to another Battle Royale, Adam blatantly pulled at his collar, listening to the beeps that began to go faster, and faster, and faster, until...
BANG!
Adam's head blew off and rolled on the ground, his body collapsing into a heap.
BOY #77 ADAM DODD - DEAD
Again awaking in the ravine, Adam was completely unnerved this time at seeing two corpses sitting in front of him, both apparently his own. Wandering over to the headless one, he grabbed its pack off of the ground, and saw that there was a pistol inside of it. Grabbing it out of the bag, he shrugged, and took it out.
"This is getting ridiculous."
Cocking the pistol, Adam then proceeded to eat his own gun, blowing the back of his head out.
BOY #77 - ADAM DODD - DEAD
Awakening for the fourth time, Adam threw his hands up in the air in frustration. It seemed that he had a predicament. It seemed that fate wouldn't let him die...
"This is fucking bullshit!"
Wandering over to the ravine again, Adam picked up the biggest rock that he could find and struck himself over the head with it, causing him to fall into the ravine and drown.
BOY #77 - ADAM DODD - DEAD
As he awoke again, Adam just cursed and looked up at the sky...
"Not again..."
Finding his weapon to be a partially chewed shoe, Adam walked over to the ravine that he had landed beside. Sitting down on a rock, he scratched his chin, deep in thought. Finally, he made up his mind.
"Fuck this."
With that, Adam twisted his own head off with his bare hands.
BOY #77 ADAM DODD - DEAD
Adam then woke up again, at exactly the same spot that he had started at. With a start, he realized that his coprse was actually lying on the ground in front of him, and that he'd almost materialized out of thin air. Blinking to himself, he silently wondered what the fuck was going on. Flat-out refusing to let himself be subjected to another Battle Royale, Adam blatantly pulled at his collar, listening to the beeps that began to go faster, and faster, and faster, until...
BANG!
Adam's head blew off and rolled on the ground, his body collapsing into a heap.
BOY #77 ADAM DODD - DEAD
Again awaking in the ravine, Adam was completely unnerved this time at seeing two corpses sitting in front of him, both apparently his own. Wandering over to the headless one, he grabbed its pack off of the ground, and saw that there was a pistol inside of it. Grabbing it out of the bag, he shrugged, and took it out.
"This is getting ridiculous."
Cocking the pistol, Adam then proceeded to eat his own gun, blowing the back of his head out.
BOY #77 - ADAM DODD - DEAD
Awakening for the fourth time, Adam threw his hands up in the air in frustration. It seemed that he had a predicament. It seemed that fate wouldn't let him die...
"This is fucking bullshit!"
Wandering over to the ravine again, Adam picked up the biggest rock that he could find and struck himself over the head with it, causing him to fall into the ravine and drown.
BOY #77 - ADAM DODD - DEAD
As he awoke again, Adam just cursed and looked up at the sky...