People Watching
People Watching
((Mary-Ann Warren's debut))
Standing outside the front steps of Bayview Secondary, Mary-Ann sighed to herself.
"Another day of school and still no close friends."
A slight breeze played at her plaid, navy blue and black skirt. Instinctively, Mary-Ann held it down with her arm. Holding her brown messenger bag at her side, she turned toward the street, waiting for the next person to walk by so she could start a conversation with them.
Standing outside the front steps of Bayview Secondary, Mary-Ann sighed to herself.
"Another day of school and still no close friends."
A slight breeze played at her plaid, navy blue and black skirt. Instinctively, Mary-Ann held it down with her arm. Holding her brown messenger bag at her side, she turned toward the street, waiting for the next person to walk by so she could start a conversation with them.
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[[Meredith introduction BUT continued from Going Balls Deep]]
Meredith Hemmings, known to other goths and students by her "soul name", Pandora Black, could hardly be described as anyone's close friend. She was sulky, petulant and hardly talked to her peers unless they were other goths.
Today, the girl was dressed in black and red clothes that made her look as if a Hot Topic bargain bin had thrown up all over her. The pair of large Sony headphones covering both her ears and the soft strains of Cradle of Filth turned up a little too loud helped magnify her disdain for the world in general.
The goth girl slouched as she walked, the vinyl on her clothes squeaking slightly as she moved. She didn't have much of an expression for the moment, but quickly put on her "disdainful of the world because I'm above it" face as she neared the front steps. The scowl was made even more exaggerated by her pale-and-black makeup.
"Hmph." she said to Mary-Ann in a non-committal manner.
She squinted at the bright sky outside and then deliberately stepped into the shadow cast by the school building when (and only when) Mary-Anne was watching her.
Meredith Hemmings, known to other goths and students by her "soul name", Pandora Black, could hardly be described as anyone's close friend. She was sulky, petulant and hardly talked to her peers unless they were other goths.
Today, the girl was dressed in black and red clothes that made her look as if a Hot Topic bargain bin had thrown up all over her. The pair of large Sony headphones covering both her ears and the soft strains of Cradle of Filth turned up a little too loud helped magnify her disdain for the world in general.
The goth girl slouched as she walked, the vinyl on her clothes squeaking slightly as she moved. She didn't have much of an expression for the moment, but quickly put on her "disdainful of the world because I'm above it" face as she neared the front steps. The scowl was made even more exaggerated by her pale-and-black makeup.
"Hmph." she said to Mary-Ann in a non-committal manner.
She squinted at the bright sky outside and then deliberately stepped into the shadow cast by the school building when (and only when) Mary-Anne was watching her.
Mary-Ann stood watching Meredith, taken slightly aback. Gathering her courage, she walked toward Meredith who was listening to music in the shadows of the school.
"Pandora Black, isn't it?" She asked with a friendly smile. Her lips gleamed with a fresh coat of gloss. "Your name, I mean!" She quickly added to avoid confusing Meredith, offering her hand for a friendly shake. Mary-Ann kept her distance from most of her peers, and Meredith was no exception to that. However, despite Meredith's dark appearance, Mary-Ann had a feeling there was more to her than met the eyes.
"Pandora Black, isn't it?" She asked with a friendly smile. Her lips gleamed with a fresh coat of gloss. "Your name, I mean!" She quickly added to avoid confusing Meredith, offering her hand for a friendly shake. Mary-Ann kept her distance from most of her peers, and Meredith was no exception to that. However, despite Meredith's dark appearance, Mary-Ann had a feeling there was more to her than met the eyes.
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Meredith didn't seem to hear Mary-Ann for a moment, then lifted one of her headphones. She continued to pout and frown.
"Yes." Meredith responded, her voice a low, guttural grumble, "Pandora Black is the name of my soul."
She eyed Mary-Ann's hand and pointedly ignored it.
"You have so much sunshine in your soul. Why do you bother being so happy?" she asked, looking across the carpark as she did so. She pulled a packet of cigarettes from her bag, selected one and lit up.
"Yes." Meredith responded, her voice a low, guttural grumble, "Pandora Black is the name of my soul."
She eyed Mary-Ann's hand and pointedly ignored it.
"You have so much sunshine in your soul. Why do you bother being so happy?" she asked, looking across the carpark as she did so. She pulled a packet of cigarettes from her bag, selected one and lit up.
Mary-Ann lowered her hand and followed Meredith's gaze across the car park. She watched as other classmates of hers walked to and from their cars, greeting each other happily.
"I'm not really sure why I bother to be so happy." She said, leaning against the wall alongside Meredith. "I guess it's because I want to be--if that makes sense." She took a pause. Watching Meredith smoke, Mary-Ann started thinking.
"I don't really get why I'm like this. I don't think anyone really gets why they are the way they are. But I know that being happy makes me feel better about myself--more importantly, better about the world!" She straightened up and looked at Meredith.
"Well, Pandora Black, how about you? What do you think about the world?"
"I'm not really sure why I bother to be so happy." She said, leaning against the wall alongside Meredith. "I guess it's because I want to be--if that makes sense." She took a pause. Watching Meredith smoke, Mary-Ann started thinking.
"I don't really get why I'm like this. I don't think anyone really gets why they are the way they are. But I know that being happy makes me feel better about myself--more importantly, better about the world!" She straightened up and looked at Meredith.
"Well, Pandora Black, how about you? What do you think about the world?"
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Meredith balanced the cigarette on her lip, not really taking any puffs of it, just holding the cancer stick as if she were actually smoking without doing so. She glanced at Mary-Ann, then looked at the ground, seemingly not paying attention to the cheerful girl's words.
"Huh. The world is a dark and evil place. We're just mortals who float along in our brief and pointless lives, like shades flowing down the river Styx, polluting whatever we touch and bringing nothing of value to the world." she said, "We build people up to think that they're invincible like Achilles, but actually their power and invincibility is like a lie that is ultimately shattered like his heel, except instead of the weak spot being the heel, the weak spot is their soul - not the one that's close to the heel, but like, the one that's inside you... except that we're all really soulless monsters infesting this world."
She scowled, moved her cigarette from her mouth and rested her cigarette holding hand next to her hip.
"That's how I see the world and humans. We're just an infestation on this giant ball of dirt."
"Huh. The world is a dark and evil place. We're just mortals who float along in our brief and pointless lives, like shades flowing down the river Styx, polluting whatever we touch and bringing nothing of value to the world." she said, "We build people up to think that they're invincible like Achilles, but actually their power and invincibility is like a lie that is ultimately shattered like his heel, except instead of the weak spot being the heel, the weak spot is their soul - not the one that's close to the heel, but like, the one that's inside you... except that we're all really soulless monsters infesting this world."
She scowled, moved her cigarette from her mouth and rested her cigarette holding hand next to her hip.
"That's how I see the world and humans. We're just an infestation on this giant ball of dirt."
"I see. It would be a lot easier if everything just suddenly ceased to exist, wouldn't it?" Mary-Ann said contemplatively, touching a finger to her pink lips. After a pause, Mary-Ann spoke up again as her blue eyes widened with vivacity.
"All right, Pandora Black--I'll see you around sometime!" She said cheerfully while running towards the building and vigorously waving farewell. Her skirt whipped up from the sudden surge of air passing her legs, billowing like a cloud of dust in her wake. The large doors to the school violently swung open as she rushed into the building.
((Continued: Solemn Silence))
"All right, Pandora Black--I'll see you around sometime!" She said cheerfully while running towards the building and vigorously waving farewell. Her skirt whipped up from the sudden surge of air passing her legs, billowing like a cloud of dust in her wake. The large doors to the school violently swung open as she rushed into the building.
((Continued: Solemn Silence))
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"Yeah, probably." Meredith said as she watched the girl run away suddenly.
"Heh. What a mundane, all sunshine and smiles." Meredith mumbled under her breath, "Bet she got scared because she got exposed to the real world and couldn't take it in her little pink, plastic world."
Meredith watched the trails of smoke from her cigarette waft into the air, enjoying the way they moved about in the breeze. After a while, she tapped the ash off the end of her cigarette with a deft movement and relit the thing, realising that the fire had gone out.
"Stupid thing always goes out." she mumbled.
Standing in the shadows, her cancer stick in hand, she continued to squint at the school's students as they went their seperate ways.
"Heh. What a mundane, all sunshine and smiles." Meredith mumbled under her breath, "Bet she got scared because she got exposed to the real world and couldn't take it in her little pink, plastic world."
Meredith watched the trails of smoke from her cigarette waft into the air, enjoying the way they moved about in the breeze. After a while, she tapped the ash off the end of her cigarette with a deft movement and relit the thing, realising that the fire had gone out.
"Stupid thing always goes out." she mumbled.
Standing in the shadows, her cancer stick in hand, she continued to squint at the school's students as they went their seperate ways.
(Jessica Pentangeli continued from Minnesota Mallrats)
"You know those things can kill you right?"
Jessica Pentangeli took a spot right next to Meredith in the shadow of the school. It was if she had just slid up from behind Meredith. Jessica had a habit of sneaking up on people when she didn't mean to. Not that Meredith would care either way.
Jessica had skipped her last class. Skipping class was becoming a habit for Jessica. She just hung out around the library like she usually does. It wasn't like the teacher was going to go looking for her, and it wasn't like anyone was going to realize her hanging out in the library. No one ever did. Having no friends could do that to you. The closest friend she had was Meredith and even then it wasn't what you could consider a regular friendship. Meredith and Jessica were two complete different people on the outside,
Jessica Pentangeli could at least identify with Meredith in one respect - she did not like most of the populas of Bayview Secondary School. Of course this was only based on how awkward Jessica always felt when talking with them. She felt like a ghost most of the time, just fading in and out of the hallways with no one really noticing her. She had wished someone would walk upto her and say something, to go out of their way to make her feel welcome. But that never happened. Jessica wasn't shy, moreover she just didn't click with the rest of the kids in her class. That's why she didn't like them.
But for Meredith, it wasn't simple dislike. She hated the kids, every last one of them. Especially the happy ones. Meredith, or Pandora Black a name that Jessica thought was stupid to begin with, was so goth that she made the normal gothheads nervous. As far as Jessica could see, Meredith saw the darker side of things that no one ever seemed to pay any attention to. Jessica has known Meredith since grade school and she knew for a fact that her upbringing wasn't that bad. She lived in around the same type of home that Jessica was brought up in, and she was always smiling when she was a kid.
Then she changed and became this spiteful girl who listens to creepy music, and then they stopped talking. Jessica was aware of these dark corners of the world but it wasn't like she got hung up on it. Meredith was her friend, well, used to be her friend. She had no idea if Meredith hated her too.
"It's good to see you Merry," she said. She always called her Merry. Pandora Black was just a stupid name, no matter what reason Meredith had to use it. "How have you been holding up?"
"You know those things can kill you right?"
Jessica Pentangeli took a spot right next to Meredith in the shadow of the school. It was if she had just slid up from behind Meredith. Jessica had a habit of sneaking up on people when she didn't mean to. Not that Meredith would care either way.
Jessica had skipped her last class. Skipping class was becoming a habit for Jessica. She just hung out around the library like she usually does. It wasn't like the teacher was going to go looking for her, and it wasn't like anyone was going to realize her hanging out in the library. No one ever did. Having no friends could do that to you. The closest friend she had was Meredith and even then it wasn't what you could consider a regular friendship. Meredith and Jessica were two complete different people on the outside,
Jessica Pentangeli could at least identify with Meredith in one respect - she did not like most of the populas of Bayview Secondary School. Of course this was only based on how awkward Jessica always felt when talking with them. She felt like a ghost most of the time, just fading in and out of the hallways with no one really noticing her. She had wished someone would walk upto her and say something, to go out of their way to make her feel welcome. But that never happened. Jessica wasn't shy, moreover she just didn't click with the rest of the kids in her class. That's why she didn't like them.
But for Meredith, it wasn't simple dislike. She hated the kids, every last one of them. Especially the happy ones. Meredith, or Pandora Black a name that Jessica thought was stupid to begin with, was so goth that she made the normal gothheads nervous. As far as Jessica could see, Meredith saw the darker side of things that no one ever seemed to pay any attention to. Jessica has known Meredith since grade school and she knew for a fact that her upbringing wasn't that bad. She lived in around the same type of home that Jessica was brought up in, and she was always smiling when she was a kid.
Then she changed and became this spiteful girl who listens to creepy music, and then they stopped talking. Jessica was aware of these dark corners of the world but it wasn't like she got hung up on it. Meredith was her friend, well, used to be her friend. She had no idea if Meredith hated her too.
"It's good to see you Merry," she said. She always called her Merry. Pandora Black was just a stupid name, no matter what reason Meredith had to use it. "How have you been holding up?"
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Meredith frowned and winced as she started getting a headache from all the secondary smoke she was inhaling. She balanced her cigarette on her lip for a moment.
"You know those things can kill you right?"
Meredith didn't even bother to turn her head to see who spoke. She replied with a well-rehearsed line set to monotone, "Yeah, but we're all dying a slow death."
When the other girl called her "Merry", however, Meredith turned to face her with a shocked and angry look. She squinted for a bit, her eyes adjusting to the shadows after a bright light. Soon, the other girl's face came into focus.
It was Jessie, one of Sarah's friends from the plastic world. Meredith quickly smoothed out her angry face, replacing it with one of calm disdain for the world in general. She had nothing against Jessie. Heck, Jessie was one of the few people that really understood things.
"Oh. It's you. I told you to stop calling me that. My soul name is Pandora Black." she said with carefully measured depression, "I am all right. Well, as all right as you can be in this soulless and filthy world."
She gave a theatrical sigh, "I suppose that you still haven't left the comfortable cocoon that is the plastic world and still haven't tried out that Cradle of Filth CD I gave you."
The aforementioned CD had been randomly flung at Jessica a few weeks ago.
"You know those things can kill you right?"
Meredith didn't even bother to turn her head to see who spoke. She replied with a well-rehearsed line set to monotone, "Yeah, but we're all dying a slow death."
When the other girl called her "Merry", however, Meredith turned to face her with a shocked and angry look. She squinted for a bit, her eyes adjusting to the shadows after a bright light. Soon, the other girl's face came into focus.
It was Jessie, one of Sarah's friends from the plastic world. Meredith quickly smoothed out her angry face, replacing it with one of calm disdain for the world in general. She had nothing against Jessie. Heck, Jessie was one of the few people that really understood things.
"Oh. It's you. I told you to stop calling me that. My soul name is Pandora Black." she said with carefully measured depression, "I am all right. Well, as all right as you can be in this soulless and filthy world."
She gave a theatrical sigh, "I suppose that you still haven't left the comfortable cocoon that is the plastic world and still haven't tried out that Cradle of Filth CD I gave you."
The aforementioned CD had been randomly flung at Jessica a few weeks ago.
"Looks like you still have an active imagination," Jessica sighed. She blew some hair out of her eyes, shifting from one foot to the other. "Merry, I've known you for how long? I am so not calling you Pandora. Besides, I'd probably just forget anyway."
It was really the truth. Even though she liked Meredith in a strange passive way, Jessica didn't really care to learn her strange goth name. Jessica was not even remotely interested in the goth movement at all. While she felt as though life had no meaning, she wasn't going to go around preaching it. She would much rather just keep to her and the suffering she felt to herself.
"It's not that bad," Jessica stared at Meredith and blinked. "Coming out of my comfortable cocoon? That's all up to interpretation." She left it at that.
Jessica sighed again. Cradle of Filth... Meredith really was trying to get her to listen to this group. Maybe Jessica would have to seriously listen to it, if only to make her happy.
"What are you doing over here, all alone?" She said, pushing the cd into her pocket.
It was really the truth. Even though she liked Meredith in a strange passive way, Jessica didn't really care to learn her strange goth name. Jessica was not even remotely interested in the goth movement at all. While she felt as though life had no meaning, she wasn't going to go around preaching it. She would much rather just keep to her and the suffering she felt to herself.
"It's not that bad," Jessica stared at Meredith and blinked. "Coming out of my comfortable cocoon? That's all up to interpretation." She left it at that.
Jessica sighed again. Cradle of Filth... Meredith really was trying to get her to listen to this group. Maybe Jessica would have to seriously listen to it, if only to make her happy.
"What are you doing over here, all alone?" She said, pushing the cd into her pocket.
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Meredith kept her face as disdainful and neutral as possible, but she couldn't help but wince each time Jessica called her Merry.
"Pandora is the name of my soul, Jessie." she said simply, "And I'm not imagining things. My soul is black and I've opened the box that shuts away hope. My eyes are opened to the hopelessness of this world."
Knowing full well that she wasn't going to be able to change Jessica's habit of saying her old childhood nickname, Meredith settled for just saying the word "Pandora" each time Jessica made reference to her name.
She pulled her cigarette from her mouth, tapping it with her fingers again to free it from the ash on the end. Painfully aware that the cigarette had gone out once again, Meredith moved her hand to her hip quickly, hoping that Jessica wouldn't pick up on the fact that it no longer smoked.
"What are you doing over here, all alone?" Jessica asked.
Meredith gave another of her theatrical sighs, "I am watching the plastic people get into their armoured shame tanks and drive themselves back to their little boxes where they'll just continue their lives without realising how pointless their existences are. Also, I am smoking. What are you doing here instead of being at the library? I thought you were interested in joining the masses in going to University where you can get your own little box to live in?"
"Pandora is the name of my soul, Jessie." she said simply, "And I'm not imagining things. My soul is black and I've opened the box that shuts away hope. My eyes are opened to the hopelessness of this world."
Knowing full well that she wasn't going to be able to change Jessica's habit of saying her old childhood nickname, Meredith settled for just saying the word "Pandora" each time Jessica made reference to her name.
She pulled her cigarette from her mouth, tapping it with her fingers again to free it from the ash on the end. Painfully aware that the cigarette had gone out once again, Meredith moved her hand to her hip quickly, hoping that Jessica wouldn't pick up on the fact that it no longer smoked.
"What are you doing over here, all alone?" Jessica asked.
Meredith gave another of her theatrical sighs, "I am watching the plastic people get into their armoured shame tanks and drive themselves back to their little boxes where they'll just continue their lives without realising how pointless their existences are. Also, I am smoking. What are you doing here instead of being at the library? I thought you were interested in joining the masses in going to University where you can get your own little box to live in?"
Jessica winced when Meredith called her Jessie. She hated when people called her Jessie. Maybe this was how Meredith felt when Jessica called her Merry. It just felt almost rude to call her Pandora, like she was dignifying her lifestyle choice. Jessica never did find being a goth that glamorous. Weren't goth kids supposed to be shy?
"The hopeless in this world is pretty damn large, I'll agree." Jessica conceded this with a nod. Jessica bit her lip slightly. Every time she even bothered to speak with Meredith, the girl was smoking. It was actually giving her the urge to pick up a cigarette and start smoking along with her. Maybe this was what peer pressure felt like - feeling that you need to do these type of things to fit in. Not that it would change anything. Still, she felt the urge to ask Meredith for one.
Jessica just stared at Meredith. "They call them school buses." She forced a smile. "But they're all really the same thing." She wanted to add in a comment on how she felt depressed even saying hello to Meredith but she kept it to herself. After all, Jessica was pretty damn depressed already.
Jessica hesitated for a moment, hoping that she come up with something to talk to her friend about. "Ahh, um, how's your sister?" She asked awkwardly.
"The hopeless in this world is pretty damn large, I'll agree." Jessica conceded this with a nod. Jessica bit her lip slightly. Every time she even bothered to speak with Meredith, the girl was smoking. It was actually giving her the urge to pick up a cigarette and start smoking along with her. Maybe this was what peer pressure felt like - feeling that you need to do these type of things to fit in. Not that it would change anything. Still, she felt the urge to ask Meredith for one.
Jessica just stared at Meredith. "They call them school buses." She forced a smile. "But they're all really the same thing." She wanted to add in a comment on how she felt depressed even saying hello to Meredith but she kept it to herself. After all, Jessica was pretty damn depressed already.
Jessica hesitated for a moment, hoping that she come up with something to talk to her friend about. "Ahh, um, how's your sister?" She asked awkwardly.
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Meredith nodded and pulled her headphones off so that they rested around her neck. The too-loud strains of screaming, shouting, general guttural howling to noisy guitar frets that made up Meredith's general musical diet went unchecked for a few moments as the girl thumbed the buttons on her iPod.
By now, Meredith's cigarette had definitely gone out again. She peered at Jessica and leaned against the building, taking a deep breath of actually fresh air. She turned to Jessica again.
"That girl is still staying at our house." she said simply, "I appreciate if you don't talk about that sublime and absolute waste of space and air."
She dropped her cigarette onto the ground and stamped it "out" - not a difficult task to do when it had already gone out. She looked at Jessica again.
"You do not seem to be your usual cheerful self. Not that you are usually cheerful, but the cloud of gloom that always hangs over your head seems to weigh heavily on your shoulders."
By now, Meredith's cigarette had definitely gone out again. She peered at Jessica and leaned against the building, taking a deep breath of actually fresh air. She turned to Jessica again.
"That girl is still staying at our house." she said simply, "I appreciate if you don't talk about that sublime and absolute waste of space and air."
She dropped her cigarette onto the ground and stamped it "out" - not a difficult task to do when it had already gone out. She looked at Jessica again.
"You do not seem to be your usual cheerful self. Not that you are usually cheerful, but the cloud of gloom that always hangs over your head seems to weigh heavily on your shoulders."
Jessica had wished that her gloom wasn't so evident. She hoped that she at least had enough talent to pretend to be happy but apparently this was not the case. Jessica droped her fake smile quickly and sighed for what seemed like the tenth time that instant. "Was it that obvious?" She said with a fake laugh.
Yes, there was definitely something bothering her. However she didn't feel comfortable... with what? She had no reason to come over to Meredith other than idle chit chat, of which she probably had none to give. Meredith wasn't even that close of a friend to her l. But on the other hand, Meredith was the only one she could really talk to about how she really felt. But how to put how she felt into words...
She looked at the cigarette in Meredith's mouth. It was a terrible thing to think but that cancer stick looked like the most delicious thing on the earth. Jessica didnt want to... oh fuck it. She motioned to the cigarette, her face very grim.
"I thought of killing myself last night. Almost slashed my wrist while I was trying to make lunch last night. I think I need one of those."
Yes, there was definitely something bothering her. However she didn't feel comfortable... with what? She had no reason to come over to Meredith other than idle chit chat, of which she probably had none to give. Meredith wasn't even that close of a friend to her l. But on the other hand, Meredith was the only one she could really talk to about how she really felt. But how to put how she felt into words...
She looked at the cigarette in Meredith's mouth. It was a terrible thing to think but that cancer stick looked like the most delicious thing on the earth. Jessica didnt want to... oh fuck it. She motioned to the cigarette, her face very grim.
"I thought of killing myself last night. Almost slashed my wrist while I was trying to make lunch last night. I think I need one of those."