Hiding in the Smoke

[jimmydalad]

((Lukas Nielson continued from Expanding Your Horizons))

Lukas had spent many more lunchtimes alone more recently.  It was all a part of his strategy. Well, calling it a strategy would be generous. He wouldn't say it was novel, interesting or unique. It certainly wasn't going to win him any awards or accolades. At most, he could say it was workable. However, workable was all he needed.

As soon as class was over, Lukas beelined straight to the library. He wasted no time gathering his things, shoving them haphazardly in his bag as the lunch bell rung. He vaguely nodded as the teacher rambled on about homework at the end of the class, affirming the things that he already knew. He put all of his energy into ensuring that he was the first person out of that door. He didn't bother interacting with any of his classmates.

His bag hung loosely on his right shoulder as he kept his head low. If he was fast enough, he reckoned he would be able to avoid most of the kids coming out for lunch. Most days, he was successful, though there was the occasion where his plans didn't manifest the way he wanted them to.

"Where are you going, bondage boy?"

His right fist clenched tightly around his bag strap. Dammit, he wasn't fast enough. He didn't know or want to know where the jeer came from. He just had deal with it like he dealt with it before. He closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and kept moving forwards. Don't give them a reaction, that's what they want. The library couldn't be that much further.

He only heard one or two more insults lobbed his way as he arrived at the library entrance. The insults were more of the usual. Bondage boy, mother fucker, BDSM freak. Various iterations of those type of thing. Lukas had heard them all before. He had also heard worse, especially compared to when his mother's vocation was originally found out. Everyone had something to say about that. The insults were like raindrops in a storm at the time and he definitely heard at least one person proclaim that his mother was going hell and that Lukas would be right there with her.

The bullying seemed to lessen as time had passed. His mother became old news and while he would always be an easier target, people found more juicier morsels to pick and tear apart. Unfortunately, just because there were bigger targets didn't mean he was just left alone. The insults became less inspired, but they were still insults.

Just because he was used to hearing them didn't make them any better.

Still, the fleeting nature of interest was something that he was banking on. It was one of the reasons he fell back onto this strategy. It certainly worked during times such as school election season, which was especially messy after the Facebook debacle. It wasn't perfect, but he didn't need it to be.

The library was the safe haven of the school.  It was the most boring, uninteresting and quiet room to ever exist in a school. Nothing interesting ever happened in the library. That was why it was perfect for Lukas.

The library tended to be one of Lukas's main haunts in the school, but recently he had decided to spend more and more time there. It would not be an exaggeration to say that he spent nearly all of his free time in the library, some days even forgoing lunch to immediately throw himself inside.

Would he actually study there? Sometimes. He would be lying if he said he spent all his time there being productive. If he had homework that he wanted to get done he would do it there. Though he tended to prefer the home environment to the one in school. He sometimes worked on short stories or expanding on lore for future possible novels that he may want to pen in the future. However, he hated to admit that his muse had been running in shorter supply than he would personally prefer.

He never really had a consistent plan when coming to the library. Some days he would happily sit downstairs, put in his earphones and blast some music. Other days, he went upstairs and sat down on his own. Those tended to be the days where he actually wanted to study. Either way, Lukas would take out his textbooks, journal, pens and whatnot. Even if he had no plans to study, he had to give the image that he was studying. Appearances were always important.

Today, he felt like listening to a little bit of music. The silence of the second floor seemed unappealing to him and he didn't have any particular plans towards finishing any homework. Nope, today was going to be a chill day. It would certainly help put his mind off the altercation he had earlier today.

He found a more isolated corner to set up shop on the first floor, chucking his bag onto the chair next to him. As he started to make himself comfortable, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He let out a sad sigh, dreading the message that was awaiting him.

[+] Gae

Hey man. Been a while, still busy studying?

Lukas took a second. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could feel his heart churning as he wrote his reply, glancing at the many other messages his friend had left him recently.

[+] Me

Hey Gae. Yea, grades not doing so good. Another day in the library for me.

Lying sucked, especially to Gaelan. Still, he felt like it needed to be done. His recent spat with Ivy didn't escape Lukas' notice. As much as he loved the guy, Gaelan had the tendency to dive headfirst into conflict and drama, especially if Ivy was concerned. Granted, he had a more justified reason to have such ire against her, but it meant that hanging out with him too much was not conducive towards his plan.

The plan that Lukas had decided to adopt to survive the last few weeks of high school. The tried and true strategy that he always fell back on.

He was going to lay low.

Lukas was going to be as boring as he possibly could be. He was going to go out of his way to blend into the background. Of all the colors he could be, he'd choose beige. If anyone tried to provoke a reaction out of him, he wouldn't give one to them. He wanted to get lost in the crowds, blend into the walls and generally have his non-friend classmates forget about his very existence.

Some would construe his actions as extreme, but Lukas felt that he might as well go all out as the end of the year approached. The less abuse he had to face towards that endeavour, the better. Others could act as lightning rods for the assholes of the school while he scooted on by. He refused to take part in the games of high school.

Still, it wasn't easy. In fact, putting himself on a self-imposed exile was a miserable experience. Unfortunately for him, his closest friends from school tended to be in the thick of things. Gaelan, Nick, Blaise. None of them could really be described as quiet. The more time he spent with them, the tougher it would be for him to be extricated from their group and the harder it would be to hide in the shadows. Then again, was it already too late for that?

He glanced down at his phone. He still hadn't deleted the pictures of Wyatt and Ivy. He didn't know why he kept them. They were old news by this point. Mostly irrelevant with how quickly things changed on a daily basis. Maybe at the time, he could've done something. Maybe he should've done something with them to fight back, at least just a little bit.

However, he made a decision to go down this path. The path that he was comfortable with. The one that wouldn't rock the boat, that wouldn't change anything. Lukas sighed to himself again as he sat down in the chair next to his bag and got his things out. There were only a few weeks left of the school year. He could bear this for just a few more days.

All he needed to do was follow the strategy. The strategy wasn't novel, interesting or unique. It certainly wasn't going to win him any awards or accolades. At most, he could say it was workable. However, workable was all he needed.

At least, that's what he told himself.

((Lukas Nielson continued elsewhere...))