Self Doubts and Hurricanes

[MethodicalSlacker]

"On the dock, over there," Arthur replied, pointing at the concrete slaps in the distance, "Jasper and Henry had run into each other first, and I went and said hello afterward. The paintball gun interested them a bit as well." He watched as Henry fell in the distance, curling up on the sandy beach, tucking up into himself. The sight softened Arthur a little, made his heart rustle a bit, sending a short pulse of emotion into his body, but it soon faded away, lost in the ocean waves.

Jasper made it over to Henry and knelt beside him, checking to see if he was okay, probably saying something along the lines of "Everything's fine, we'll make it," or something. It irritated Arthur a little, about just how easy it was to see that things were not, in fact, going to wind up okay. It irritated him even more to see that Henry hadn't accepted it as easily as he had.

Arthur had a lot of experience in distancing himself from the present. He wasn't sure if Henry had the same background, but if he had to guess, the answer there was negative. Still, despite the small degrees of annoyance he felt, he couldn't help but feel, on some level, sorry for Henry. There were probably people on the island who had done something wrong - Arthur knew that not everyone at Cochise was the picture of virtue and good will; He had to know that to make sure that Marie didn't fall in with the wrong crowd. Henry was a good kid, though. He didn't deserve what was going to wind up happening to him.

In his own mind, Arthur had to make sure that in walking the fine line of thinking about what would happen to other people, he wouldn't cross over into the territory of what would happen to himself. Once he crossed into that way of thinking, there was no way of coming out of it. Consciously, he just saw this as an outing to an island. A pleasant day, all things considered.

"How about you?" He asked Coleen, "Where d'you come from?" He sneezed into his sleeve, a slight breeze tickling his nose. When he looked up, it took him a split second to fall back into his rose-colored view of the world around him. The colors of the world seemed, for an instant, just a little more washed out. He blinked, and everything was back in its right place.

Except for Henry, still on the sand.

"Poor kid," Arthur muttered to himself, shaking his head and dragging his feet a little bit as he walked.

[Espi]

((Skipping for DZ purposes. GMing of Jasper approved))

Henry rolled over as the others arrived and Jasper rubbed his shoulder. Normally, in any other situation, Henry was a touchy-feely kind of guy who was quite fond of physical affection. But right now, under the anxiety and pressures of his faltering coping mechanism, Henry reacted badly.

"Argh!" Henry let out an aggressive noise, rolled onto his back and sat up, pushing Jasper away with his hands in the process. Lunging to his feet, Henry glanced rapidly between Coleen and Arthur, before his eyes panned down to Jasper in front of him.

"I..." Thoughts raced. Apologize? He couldn't. He couldn't do anything. Jasper and Henry's continued survival were now mutually exclusive, and there was no way Henry could handle that, especially since it also applied to, oh, a hundred other people he knew from school.

He stumbled slightly as he ran off down the rocky shoreline. His bag lay on the ground where he'd first fallen.

((Henry Spencer continued in To Dine With the Devil))

[Aster]

((Skipping for the same reason))

The shove caught Jasper by surprise. One moment he was over Henry, the next he was knocked onto his rear end. He stared blankly up at the other boy in shock, who immediately turned and ran.

Why'd he do that?

He sat there and watched Henry run, his heart sinking further as he got farther and farther away. They were supposed to stick together and survive, or at least spend their last days together in peace. What was wrong? Had he done something wrong? Jasper didn't know if Henry was touchy, but running off because of it was a bit too much.

Jasper slowly rose to his feet, stepping forward to try and follow. However, his foot caught something, and he stumbled. He looked back on what he'd tripped on, and his eyes widened.

Henry's bag.

His head swiveled back in the direction Henry had run off in, but he was nowhere in sight. Jasper didn't know why Henry had left, or if he should follow, but now he knew he had to. He just couldn't leave Henry out there on his own. Especially without his supplies.

Jasper quickly picked up the bag and took off running again, hoping that he could catch up.

((Jasper Bustamante continued in St. Patrick's Purgatory))

[MK Kilmarnock]

He looked like he was losing his mind.

That was what Coleen wanted to say about Henry, but there was no polite way to say it that didn't come across as abrasive or rude. She thought it amazing that she was still concerned with erudite mannerisms on a concocted death island, but she supposed that her behavior wasn't about to drastically snap around and change within just a few hours of being on this rock out in the middle of the ocean. Henry didn't seem to be holding up to this reality very well at all, running off for no reason. Then again, she herself was just considering taking a permanent bath, and perhaps Henry was always like this. She wasn't terribly familiar with him, so there was no telling.

"I... oh, huh, you asked me something... sorry!" Coleen rambled before exclaiming her apology. "Librar- uh, the library. A dusty library just up the way, so it sounds like maybe I walked a little further."

She was finding it hard to listen to Arthur as she watched Jasper go after Henry. The surprise on her face was plainly visible when Henry pushed off and made a break for who-knows-where, and the pit of her stomach was telling her bad things about that guy. She couldn't quite put her finger on what those things were but... none of it sounded pleasing. Did she stay with these three or go her own way, deciding what to do?

Tough call. Coleen decided, for once, to be a leader. She diverted away from Henry and Jasper, heading for a more direct approach along the high edge of the shoreline instead of going down over the rocks like the boys. She'd leave it to Arthur who to follow. If he followed, she had some company. If he didn't...

Well, she supposed that was fine, too.

((Coleen Reagan, continued in This Be the Verse))

[MethodicalSlacker]

And then, he was alone. Just like that.

Jasper and Henry went in one direction, and Coleen went in another. He had a choice staring him dead in the face, looking at him with beady eyes that would cut straight through to his soul.

Why rush things, though? Why not take the time to look out at the surf a little bit more, and enjoy nature a bit? It was just another day, after all. No need to rush things. Arthur bent down to sit on the sand...

...and stopped just short of the ground.

With a deep sigh, he picked himself up again. The color in anything he looked at now had faded away, leaving but a shadow of its former self.

He had to come to terms with reality. It couldn't get much closer than this.

Henry and Jasper had each other. They had started this together. Arthur had just gone along for the ride.

Coleen was all alone, but she wasn't undergoing a mental breakdown like Henry had been through just then. What if it had yet to happen? What if it was happening right this moment, and Arthur was powerless to stop it?

There was a third option, too. He could walk his own way, away from both parties, and distance himself from the memory of ever finding them. Start again, once more, from the top, with goals in mind. Getting out of here. Experiencing life. All the things he hadn't been through before.

Watching Marie grow up. Being there for her.

...

She was watching him, right now. He was sure of it. He didn't know where the cameras were, but he knew for a fact that she'd be watching over him every step of the way.  This decision wasn't his alone to make at all. He had God above, and, somewhere across the seas, the eyes of his sister, watching over him.

Well, there was more than one set of eyes watching from above.

There was his mom, after all.

"I'm hopeless," He confessed to himself, scratching at his face, feeling the small bumps and craters in his skin. Arthur shook his head lightly.

There wasn't anything left to consider. He knew where he had to go. He began to walk after Coleen, then broke into a run after a few paces. He wasn't fooling himself anymore.

He just hoped the cameras didn't pick up how badly his shoulders were trembling as he ran.

[Arthur Bernstein continued in This Be The Verse.]