[Lorenzo Tavares Continued From Just Dance]
Huff… Huff... Huff…
The sounds of heavy breathing were all that filled the small space as the two bodies de-tangled themselves from each other on the floor. A hand blindly searched the small space’s outer rims, touching here and there to find what it was looking for. It brushed against a piece of cloth, and brought it up to eye level in the dim lighting. Nice, this was what he’d wanted to grab. A sweaty body rolled itself onto it’s back and quickly pulled the undergarment he’d grabbed back onto himself, satisfied when it sapped back around his waist. He looked over to his blonde companion and grinned, self-satisfied with what had just gone on between them in the small linen closet, and looking for that same satisfaction in his partner’s eyes. He reached out a hand again, this time to brush the hair out of his own face, sighing in contentment.
Lorenzo was very happy with how his night had turned out.
He sat up a bit, wiping the sweat on his hand on the cloth the two had lain down beneath them before their activities had begun. The soft feel of the sheet was cool on his body, especially after the rigorous activity that had just transpired. Lorenzo turned to look behind him, and grabbed the bottle of Gentleman's Jack he’d been drinking all night, now only about half full, and took a quick gulp of its contents. The burn down his throat felt good, it felt like it was bringing him back to life. He looked over at the gorgeous blonde hunk he’d just had sex with and smirked. Kayden was really a hot piece of ass, and he knew how to work that ass too, that was for sure. Maybe it was just the liquor talking, but Lorenzo would put that fuck in his top five easily. He took another swig from the bottle, and set it down on a nearby shelf, not wanting to spill the liquid if he could help it.
The sound of the bass from the party still raging on the other side of the closet door was rhythmic and comforting. It was drowned out just a bit by the closed door, but you could still hear it enough that Lorenzo could feel it reverberating through his bones. His eyes glanced around the small space until he found what he was looking for; a cup filled with what was left of someone’s beer he’d grabbed just before they entered the closet. A makeshift ashtray, really. He grabbed the cup, placing it on the same shelf as the jack, and dug around for his jeans, pulling out his pack of cigs and the joint Erika had bestowed on him earlier in the night.
Bless her heart.
Lorenzo lit up a cigarette and took a deep pull from the cancer stick. He let it linger in his lungs for a second before releasing the smoke into the air of the closet. Fuck did he need that. He turned to Kayden and smirked sexily at the other boy.
“You don’t mind, do you?” His eyes roamed over the other boys body again.
Fuck, Kayden was goddamn sexy. His eyes darted upwards to look the blonde in the eyes, staring into those deep pools of blue. In the back of his mind he felt a pang of fear, hoping he wouldn’t let himself drown in them. He licked his lips slightly, trying to moisten them a bit, before taking another long drag of his cigarette before dropping it into the beer, letting it go out in the liquid. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, he grabbed the bottle again and took another swig, hoping the burning liquid would help him get out words that weren’t cliche and stupid. Fuck, why did he care anyway? This was stupid.
“Uh…” He started. “That was… That was great, man. Guess we should have done that a long time ago, huh?” He was slurring slightly, but it wasn’t too noticeable he hoped.
Morningleaver
#Swiftball, Private, Tagging Brackie
((Kayden Brockman continued from Just Dance))
That was most definitely a fuck.
In a way, it was almost as though Kayden was a virgin again; not that he'd ever want to revisit being fucked for the very first time, but it was also in a linen closet at a party and it was also by someone who was especially handsy. But what those hands could do, dear god, he might as well just fire the engines up and go to town on Lorenzo again. But he was quickly on a downturn in energy, so he probably needed to get back to the party bursting beneath them.
An onlooker could have looked at the situation currently conspiring between the two - Kayden currently naked on a stranger's bedsheet inside a roomy linen closet, clothes shoved in the corner, Lorenzo slipping on his underwear as the bottle of Jack lay nearby - and known exactly what led to that moment if they knew even a thing about Kayden Brockman. Lorenzo probably had something to do with it as well, but it took two to tango. The steps probably could have been better, but all in all, it was one of the better random party fucks he'd had with a drunk kid in his class, even if it was still probably the E talking. For sure he'd had a lot better fucks, ones he'd planned and ones with recurring participants, but as for where he was right now? Better than Axel at least, probably better than that embarrassing time with Tristan when he'd just escaped-well, that was a story for another day, another memory.
He hadn't really been fucked like that in a while though, God bless the eternal energy of skater boys and God bless times two the handy lube and condom he had in his underwear pouch. Part of him wanted to wait until he'd gone past refractory, or at the very least lay down and savour the moment, but the closet didn't exactly have a lock from the inside so it wasn't as though they were in a secure location. Literally anyone could decide they wanted a sheet or blanket and find two naked teenagers having just wiped up with something valuable, or even worse one of the party hosts could decide they'd crossed that line Kayden almost did back in the kitchen.
So that's why Kayden reached back for his underwear. Clothes meant plausible deniability, right? Fucking right they did. He slipped his underwear back on and stretched his hands behind his head, an arm each side. They hit the back of the closet, and Kayden became aware of how small the location was - how did they even manage to work this out? Homosexual ingenuity was the answer to that, probably. Either way, he turned back to Lorenzo who had just lit up in a confined space like a freshman.
"Fine by me, hun."
It's not like the second-hand smoke would kill him, he wasn't an infant. God knew if there was a smoke alarm in there, but that was a problem for the hosts, not either of them, especially not Kayden since it wasn't his cigarette. Although if the sheets caught fire it would very quickly become Kayden's problem, he supposed. Kayden looked off into Lorenzo's eyes before the other boy killed a few more brain cells with a big swig of straight whiskey. He was being that little weirdo that all high school boys were after a fuck, except for Kayden since he'd lived and learned better than that.
"Yeah, it's been a long time comin', y'know? No pun intended, obviously," he smirked before letting out a short laugh. He turned back and found the remainder of his clothes, straightening them out before he began figuring out what holes went with what limbs.
That was most definitely a fuck.
In a way, it was almost as though Kayden was a virgin again; not that he'd ever want to revisit being fucked for the very first time, but it was also in a linen closet at a party and it was also by someone who was especially handsy. But what those hands could do, dear god, he might as well just fire the engines up and go to town on Lorenzo again. But he was quickly on a downturn in energy, so he probably needed to get back to the party bursting beneath them.
An onlooker could have looked at the situation currently conspiring between the two - Kayden currently naked on a stranger's bedsheet inside a roomy linen closet, clothes shoved in the corner, Lorenzo slipping on his underwear as the bottle of Jack lay nearby - and known exactly what led to that moment if they knew even a thing about Kayden Brockman. Lorenzo probably had something to do with it as well, but it took two to tango. The steps probably could have been better, but all in all, it was one of the better random party fucks he'd had with a drunk kid in his class, even if it was still probably the E talking. For sure he'd had a lot better fucks, ones he'd planned and ones with recurring participants, but as for where he was right now? Better than Axel at least, probably better than that embarrassing time with Tristan when he'd just escaped-well, that was a story for another day, another memory.
He hadn't really been fucked like that in a while though, God bless the eternal energy of skater boys and God bless times two the handy lube and condom he had in his underwear pouch. Part of him wanted to wait until he'd gone past refractory, or at the very least lay down and savour the moment, but the closet didn't exactly have a lock from the inside so it wasn't as though they were in a secure location. Literally anyone could decide they wanted a sheet or blanket and find two naked teenagers having just wiped up with something valuable, or even worse one of the party hosts could decide they'd crossed that line Kayden almost did back in the kitchen.
So that's why Kayden reached back for his underwear. Clothes meant plausible deniability, right? Fucking right they did. He slipped his underwear back on and stretched his hands behind his head, an arm each side. They hit the back of the closet, and Kayden became aware of how small the location was - how did they even manage to work this out? Homosexual ingenuity was the answer to that, probably. Either way, he turned back to Lorenzo who had just lit up in a confined space like a freshman.
"Fine by me, hun."
It's not like the second-hand smoke would kill him, he wasn't an infant. God knew if there was a smoke alarm in there, but that was a problem for the hosts, not either of them, especially not Kayden since it wasn't his cigarette. Although if the sheets caught fire it would very quickly become Kayden's problem, he supposed. Kayden looked off into Lorenzo's eyes before the other boy killed a few more brain cells with a big swig of straight whiskey. He was being that little weirdo that all high school boys were after a fuck, except for Kayden since he'd lived and learned better than that.
"Yeah, it's been a long time comin', y'know? No pun intended, obviously," he smirked before letting out a short laugh. He turned back and found the remainder of his clothes, straightening them out before he began figuring out what holes went with what limbs.
Another swig from the bottle accompanied Kayden’s response. Lorenzo felt a rush as the liquor continued to burn away at his insides, and he shifted slightly to allow Kayden the room he needed to start to collect his clothing. Lorenzo watched with a vested interest as his companion began to dress himself. It was silly, but a small part of him had been hoping they’d bask in the afterglow a bit more before they got on with their night. Honestly, Lorenzo knew he shouldn’t have expected anything else. After all, he’d worked hard to maintain his status as a sex-only kind of guy. But still… and maybe it was just the alcohol talking, but somewhere deep down he felt a knot build up in his stomach watching this boy prepare to leave him. It was a gross feeling, and it soured the moment just a bit for him. He tried his best to ignore it.
“Yeah, you’re right.” He took another swig.
“Y’know, it’s funny, but I’m pretty sure this is the most time we’ve ever spent together.” He let out a small chuckle.
“Why do you think that is? I mean, I’m not gonna pretend I don’t know my reputation.” Fuck, he didn’t even feel in control of what he was saying now, it was like his mouth was on autopilot.
“I’m just good for a quick fuck, ask anyone, right?”
Lorenzo took another swig from the bottle before setting it down on the shelf beside him. He looked over at Kayden and stared for a while at the other boy. His eyes roamed his form as if he was looking for something. What that was, he had no idea. Maybe he was looking to see if Kayden had that same darkness. His eyes settled on the other boy’s face finally, and he felt a crack appear in his defense. He felt his face falter for a second as he looked into the other boy’s eyes, showing just for a brief moment the truth behind his own eyes. The fear… the longing for a closeness he hadn’t let himself feel in a long time. All of a sudden he felt like all these emotions were bursting at the seams, ready to spill out at any moment if he didn’t focus all his energy on controlling them. He looked away from Kayden’s eyes and locked his vision on the door in front of them. Before he could stop it, his mouth started speaking again.
“Sometimes being that guy gets real fucking lonely, y’know?” Lorenzo laughed bitterly. He should probably stop drinking. Stop talking, too.
“Yeah, you’re right.” He took another swig.
“Y’know, it’s funny, but I’m pretty sure this is the most time we’ve ever spent together.” He let out a small chuckle.
“Why do you think that is? I mean, I’m not gonna pretend I don’t know my reputation.” Fuck, he didn’t even feel in control of what he was saying now, it was like his mouth was on autopilot.
“I’m just good for a quick fuck, ask anyone, right?”
Lorenzo took another swig from the bottle before setting it down on the shelf beside him. He looked over at Kayden and stared for a while at the other boy. His eyes roamed his form as if he was looking for something. What that was, he had no idea. Maybe he was looking to see if Kayden had that same darkness. His eyes settled on the other boy’s face finally, and he felt a crack appear in his defense. He felt his face falter for a second as he looked into the other boy’s eyes, showing just for a brief moment the truth behind his own eyes. The fear… the longing for a closeness he hadn’t let himself feel in a long time. All of a sudden he felt like all these emotions were bursting at the seams, ready to spill out at any moment if he didn’t focus all his energy on controlling them. He looked away from Kayden’s eyes and locked his vision on the door in front of them. Before he could stop it, his mouth started speaking again.
“Sometimes being that guy gets real fucking lonely, y’know?” Lorenzo laughed bitterly. He should probably stop drinking. Stop talking, too.
Kayden turned the shirt over in his hands a few times as Lorenzo spoke about just how many times they'd accidentally avoided each other over the years, nodding occasionally. He started getting a bit Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul near the end, though, which is when he mentally began to tune out. It was fine to have feelings, hell Kayden knew that better than anyone, but knowing how to control them and letting them burst only when you could afford to fail was something he'd learned over the years, and considering how many drinks in Lorenzo most likely was, the other boy had yet to learn that lesson, because while the specifics escaped him, the messiness did not.
"Mmhmm, it really do be like that sometimes."
The statement was pretty much the blanket answer to everything, since the guy was rambling. Either way, it's not like he was saying anything particularly new, especially not to Kayden considering the path he'd taken as a charitable hoe of virtue, but Lorenzo was probably having a bad night or something and a fuck was probably not the right choice. Wasn't Kayden's problem, though - he'd had his nut, now it was time to get back to the party. He'd even managed to slip his shirt back on, finally working on the pants.
"But hey, thems the breaks hun; that's why you gotta love yourself before you love anyone else. Or fuck yourself before you fuck anyone else, I dunno how it goes, RuPaul's never really gone further than that whole love thing."
He was really only half paying attention, attempting to get his legs into his pants. Eventually, the holes found their roles, he was zipped up, pockets checked, and hand steadied on the wall as he began standing.
"Anyways, I'm gonna go get my dance back on, you coming?"
"Mmhmm, it really do be like that sometimes."
The statement was pretty much the blanket answer to everything, since the guy was rambling. Either way, it's not like he was saying anything particularly new, especially not to Kayden considering the path he'd taken as a charitable hoe of virtue, but Lorenzo was probably having a bad night or something and a fuck was probably not the right choice. Wasn't Kayden's problem, though - he'd had his nut, now it was time to get back to the party. He'd even managed to slip his shirt back on, finally working on the pants.
"But hey, thems the breaks hun; that's why you gotta love yourself before you love anyone else. Or fuck yourself before you fuck anyone else, I dunno how it goes, RuPaul's never really gone further than that whole love thing."
He was really only half paying attention, attempting to get his legs into his pants. Eventually, the holes found their roles, he was zipped up, pockets checked, and hand steadied on the wall as he began standing.
"Anyways, I'm gonna go get my dance back on, you coming?"
Kayden’s response wasn’t really what he’d been looking to hear. Then again, he didn’t really know what he wanted to hear in the first place. His mind was all foggy, and it was getting hard to think straight. He turned his eyes back to the blonde, who was still working on getting dressed. Lorenzo felt a sharp feeling in his gut. He couldn’t explain it. Why was he getting this upset? It wasn’t like this was his first rodeo. This was how it worked. A quick bang, and on their way they went. No strings attached. He did it with Declyn, Axel, Nick… hell he did it with complete strangers. So why was he feeling like he didn’t want Kayden to leave? Lorenzo didn’t even really know Kayden as well as some of the others. Hell, if anything, Axel was probably one of his closest friends hilariously enough, and whenever they fucked it was just wham, bam, thank you ma’am. So why? Why now?
Lorenzo’s chest tightened and he felt his mouth go dry. He grabbed the bottle and took another generous swig. Fucking hell… Now Kayden was putting his pants on, and talking about re-joining the party. He asked Lorenzo if he was coming, and Lorenzo couldn’t even bring himself to look the other boy in the face. He was afraid if he did everything he was feeling would show. Lorenzo locked his gaze on his own knees and struggled to try and answer.
“I…” He couldn’t find the words.
Kayden stood, and was preparing to leave. Lorenzo felt a slight panic. It didn’t make sense but he felt like if Kayden left he’d be crushed. Almost like his body was on autopilot, his hand shot out and grabbed Kayden by the leg on his pants. He didn’t even realize he’d done it until he felt the pull of Kayden attempting to walk out. He looked up at him for a moment, his eyes wide with an emotion he couldn’t comprehend.
“Please…” He felt like the words were gone again. He looked into the blue abyss of Kayden’s eyes and lost himself again for a moment.
“Can you stay?” He heard his voice break a bit, and felt like all his emotions could come spilling out any second.
Lorenzo’s chest tightened and he felt his mouth go dry. He grabbed the bottle and took another generous swig. Fucking hell… Now Kayden was putting his pants on, and talking about re-joining the party. He asked Lorenzo if he was coming, and Lorenzo couldn’t even bring himself to look the other boy in the face. He was afraid if he did everything he was feeling would show. Lorenzo locked his gaze on his own knees and struggled to try and answer.
“I…” He couldn’t find the words.
Kayden stood, and was preparing to leave. Lorenzo felt a slight panic. It didn’t make sense but he felt like if Kayden left he’d be crushed. Almost like his body was on autopilot, his hand shot out and grabbed Kayden by the leg on his pants. He didn’t even realize he’d done it until he felt the pull of Kayden attempting to walk out. He looked up at him for a moment, his eyes wide with an emotion he couldn’t comprehend.
“Please…” He felt like the words were gone again. He looked into the blue abyss of Kayden’s eyes and lost himself again for a moment.
“Can you stay?” He heard his voice break a bit, and felt like all his emotions could come spilling out any second.
Kayden wanted to say no.
He really wanted to say no.
Lorenzo was acting a wreck, pretty pathetic not gonna lie. He'd confirmed long ago, even without saying it, that he really shouldn't have drinked and fucked tonight, and that wasn't even going into whatever the druggie chick gave him. He was catching the feels, and the feels were always worse to catch when your inhibitions were down, because you say something you shouldn't and then suddenly your emotional spleen is being cut open for biology class. Lorenzo got himself to a place he shouldn't have, and it was up to him to drag himself out of it.
So that's why when he looked back at the sad boy on the carpet beneath them he really didn't want to indulge him because Kayden really wanted to party and not comfort someone whose lack of judgement got them to wherever the hell he was now in his head.
But then the moment he caught his eyes, he realized he wasn't just looking at Lorenzo.
He was looking straight back into himself, because at one point he'd been partying and he'd been drinking and he'd just had his virginity taken by the handsy senior in the guest bedroom and he'd started talking afterwards like an idiot because he was drinking at 16 like the biggest goddamn moron and the other boy didn't want to stay because there was a party outside and Kayden wanted to talk and hang with the guy who just blew his mind as well as his load but no honey, you're nothing, you didn't know what it was? You didn't know what you were getting into? Oh honey, that's really sad, that's so sad for you, you really should have known better before taking those drinks and following him into the bedroom and lifting your legs up in the air and repeatedly asking him to slow down because it hurt because you didn't know what you were getting into and after it was all over what did you actually expect? Did you think you were a couple now, that you were going to hang out again even though he wasn't even going to be in the same city as you in a few months, or that you'd ever speak again just because you thought your life was so interesting when it hadn't even started yet? Just what did you expect, honey?
Just what did you expect?
And suddenly Kayden grew some goddamn empathy for the first time that night. At some point he'd turned away, actually ready to go back to the party, hand on the doorknob, when he realized that the only thing he'd needed in that moment, two years ago, was someone to talk to. It didn't have to be the senior, whose name he could no longer remember. Just somebody, anybody; prevent him from descending further into the pit and dragging him away from the next morning's pain.
Kayden was sitting on the carpet in the closet as the senior was ready to head back to the party, when the one thing that would have made it all better that night was if he'd stayed and talked.
The senior turned around, face clouded, and descended to the carpet with Kayden. He placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and looked him in the eyes.
And Lorenzo looked back at him.
"Talk to me honey, what's going on?" Kayden asked.
He really wanted to say no.
Lorenzo was acting a wreck, pretty pathetic not gonna lie. He'd confirmed long ago, even without saying it, that he really shouldn't have drinked and fucked tonight, and that wasn't even going into whatever the druggie chick gave him. He was catching the feels, and the feels were always worse to catch when your inhibitions were down, because you say something you shouldn't and then suddenly your emotional spleen is being cut open for biology class. Lorenzo got himself to a place he shouldn't have, and it was up to him to drag himself out of it.
So that's why when he looked back at the sad boy on the carpet beneath them he really didn't want to indulge him because Kayden really wanted to party and not comfort someone whose lack of judgement got them to wherever the hell he was now in his head.
But then the moment he caught his eyes, he realized he wasn't just looking at Lorenzo.
He was looking straight back into himself, because at one point he'd been partying and he'd been drinking and he'd just had his virginity taken by the handsy senior in the guest bedroom and he'd started talking afterwards like an idiot because he was drinking at 16 like the biggest goddamn moron and the other boy didn't want to stay because there was a party outside and Kayden wanted to talk and hang with the guy who just blew his mind as well as his load but no honey, you're nothing, you didn't know what it was? You didn't know what you were getting into? Oh honey, that's really sad, that's so sad for you, you really should have known better before taking those drinks and following him into the bedroom and lifting your legs up in the air and repeatedly asking him to slow down because it hurt because you didn't know what you were getting into and after it was all over what did you actually expect? Did you think you were a couple now, that you were going to hang out again even though he wasn't even going to be in the same city as you in a few months, or that you'd ever speak again just because you thought your life was so interesting when it hadn't even started yet? Just what did you expect, honey?
Just what did you expect?
And suddenly Kayden grew some goddamn empathy for the first time that night. At some point he'd turned away, actually ready to go back to the party, hand on the doorknob, when he realized that the only thing he'd needed in that moment, two years ago, was someone to talk to. It didn't have to be the senior, whose name he could no longer remember. Just somebody, anybody; prevent him from descending further into the pit and dragging him away from the next morning's pain.
Kayden was sitting on the carpet in the closet as the senior was ready to head back to the party, when the one thing that would have made it all better that night was if he'd stayed and talked.
The senior turned around, face clouded, and descended to the carpet with Kayden. He placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and looked him in the eyes.
And Lorenzo looked back at him.
"Talk to me honey, what's going on?" Kayden asked.
Kayden stared back at him, his eyes cold. Lorenzo felt crushed. He averted his eyes and stared directly at the ground below him. His hand still gripped the other boy’s pant leg, but Lorenzo wasn’t even aware of it. Lorenzo felt dizzy, like the whole world was spinning around him. He felt sick, and had this dry ashy taste in his mouth. His chest tightened even more, causing him to wince in pain. He couldn’t understand what was happening. Why was this so important? Why did he need Kayden to stay? Was he just another warm body to use so he could make himself forget? So he could feel better? So he could pretend that day had never happened? That his best friend, whom he loved so much, abandoned him like a piece of trash? That must be it. Nothing was ever the same for him since that day. He pushed everyone who tried to get close away because… Because he was too afraid to be hurt again.
Fuck, somewhere, Julien must be laughing at him.
The tears crept up into his eyes before he knew it, but he willed them to stay put. He refused to cry before Kayden left him. Left him just like every other person. Lorenzo still couldn’t explain why he was putting so much weight behind Kayden staying with him. All he knew was he desperately needed him to stay. It was the only thing that would stop him from crumbling away. Kayden’s leg pulled free from his grasp, and Lorenzo looked up at the boy again, this time only seeing his back as he reached for the doorknob. Lorenzo’s mask broke, and his face morphed into a miserable expression. The tears welled up again and he looked down in shame. How pathetic could he be? Sitting here half naked begging a boy to stay with him. It was the ultimate humiliation.
Suddenly a hand was on his shoulder, and Lorenzo looked up to see Kayden kneeling in front of him, asking him what was wrong. Lorenzo’s breath caught in his throat and he could no longer will the tears to stay in. He felt the wetness on his cheeks and knew he must be crying. He tried to speak but couldn’t. Instead, he threw himself forward into Kayden’s arms and buried his face in the jock’s chest, quietly sobbing.
He couldn’t explain it, but right now he felt the safest he’d felt in a long time.
Fuck, somewhere, Julien must be laughing at him.
The tears crept up into his eyes before he knew it, but he willed them to stay put. He refused to cry before Kayden left him. Left him just like every other person. Lorenzo still couldn’t explain why he was putting so much weight behind Kayden staying with him. All he knew was he desperately needed him to stay. It was the only thing that would stop him from crumbling away. Kayden’s leg pulled free from his grasp, and Lorenzo looked up at the boy again, this time only seeing his back as he reached for the doorknob. Lorenzo’s mask broke, and his face morphed into a miserable expression. The tears welled up again and he looked down in shame. How pathetic could he be? Sitting here half naked begging a boy to stay with him. It was the ultimate humiliation.
Suddenly a hand was on his shoulder, and Lorenzo looked up to see Kayden kneeling in front of him, asking him what was wrong. Lorenzo’s breath caught in his throat and he could no longer will the tears to stay in. He felt the wetness on his cheeks and knew he must be crying. He tried to speak but couldn’t. Instead, he threw himself forward into Kayden’s arms and buried his face in the jock’s chest, quietly sobbing.
He couldn’t explain it, but right now he felt the safest he’d felt in a long time.
He could feel the party through the floor.
"It's okay, hun, just let it out."
Every one of Lorenzo's sobs vibrated through Kayden as he adjusted his legs and sat down on the carpeted floor once more. He moved his hands, one comfortingly caressing the back of Lorenzo's head while the other held the end of his back. It was a rare position for Kayden, since he wasn't exactly the comforting type. Nobody comforted him, so he never bothered trying to do the same for anyone else. He closed his eyes, thinking back to how just a few minutes ago they were locked into each other in a completely different way, and now it was almost wholesome and quaint by comparison.
"Deep breaths, hun, deep breaths, okay? Deep breaths."
It wasn't just his lack of comfort from other people that saw him in an unfamiliar situation like this - more likely than not it was sometimes the fact he looked down so much on other gay guys who let their emotions get the better than them. Not the happy ones, or the angry ones, though - just the sad ones. Which was so fucking weird, because he knew deep down that the entire way he presented himself was supposed to go against the awful world they lived in where men weren't allowed to cry and men who didn't care about traditional masculinity were shat upon, yet a tiny pit of disgust would always open up in the depth of Kayden's throat whenever he saw someone cry, especially another man, but especially another gay man.
But maybe he could learn that away after school. Maybe it really just didn't matter right now, because a boy he didn't mind was sitting in his arms and crying his eyes out.
"You'll be good, okay? It's just the booze, it makes everyone feel like this."
For a brief few minutes, Kayden couldn't feel the party through the floor anymore, just the skin on Lorenzo's back and the hair on his head. It was just him and Lorenzo.
"It's okay, hun, just let it out."
Every one of Lorenzo's sobs vibrated through Kayden as he adjusted his legs and sat down on the carpeted floor once more. He moved his hands, one comfortingly caressing the back of Lorenzo's head while the other held the end of his back. It was a rare position for Kayden, since he wasn't exactly the comforting type. Nobody comforted him, so he never bothered trying to do the same for anyone else. He closed his eyes, thinking back to how just a few minutes ago they were locked into each other in a completely different way, and now it was almost wholesome and quaint by comparison.
"Deep breaths, hun, deep breaths, okay? Deep breaths."
It wasn't just his lack of comfort from other people that saw him in an unfamiliar situation like this - more likely than not it was sometimes the fact he looked down so much on other gay guys who let their emotions get the better than them. Not the happy ones, or the angry ones, though - just the sad ones. Which was so fucking weird, because he knew deep down that the entire way he presented himself was supposed to go against the awful world they lived in where men weren't allowed to cry and men who didn't care about traditional masculinity were shat upon, yet a tiny pit of disgust would always open up in the depth of Kayden's throat whenever he saw someone cry, especially another man, but especially another gay man.
But maybe he could learn that away after school. Maybe it really just didn't matter right now, because a boy he didn't mind was sitting in his arms and crying his eyes out.
"You'll be good, okay? It's just the booze, it makes everyone feel like this."
For a brief few minutes, Kayden couldn't feel the party through the floor anymore, just the skin on Lorenzo's back and the hair on his head. It was just him and Lorenzo.
The tears seemed like they would never stop as Lorenzo buried his face deeper into Kayden’s chest and let the sobs overtake him. He couldn’t even think, all he knew was that he was sadder than he’d felt in forever, and the only thing keeping him grounded was Kayden. His arms latched themselves haphazardly onto the other boy, his right gripping the front of Kayden’s shirt tightly, and his left securing itself onto his shoulder. The noises of the party going on just outside their small room faded into nothingness, and all Lorenzo could hear was Kayden’s soothing voice telling him everything would be okay. He didn’t understand it really, but somehow those words were exactly what he needed to feel like he was going to make it through this. Kayden’s arms around him felt good. They felt safe and secure, like nothing could hurt him while he was wrapped in them. It was unfamiliar, and yet he wanted to stay like this forever if he could.
Lorenzo reluctantly pulled his face back from Kayden’s chest a bit and looked up into the other boy’s eyes. His tear-stained face was probably not the best thing to look at but at that moment he couldn’t care less. Looking at Kayden he felt his chest tighten and his heart begin to flutter. It was very sobering. Lorenzo felt his face grow flush and he immediately buried his face once more. His tears had begun to dry up at this point, and now he the reality of the situation was beginning to hit him. He wasn’t used to being in such a vulnerable state in front of anyone, and it embarrassed him thoroughly.
“I’m sorry…” He started with a sniffle. “I-I don't know what came over me.”
He loosened his grip on the boy slightly, but then felt the emotions well up inside him again and re-fastened his hold, almost crawling into the other boy’s lap for comfort. His head was still swimming, but the only thing he could say with certainty was that he wanted to remain here in Kayden’s arms as long as humanly possible.
“Can we just… stay like this for a while?” He asked desperately. “I just want you to stay with me.”
He looked up again, this time with a purpose. He moved his left hand up from Kayden’s shoulder to cup the side of the blonde’s face. Lorenzo moved in slowly, tilting his head to the side a bit, trying to make it obvious what he wanted. He needed to feel Kayden’s lips on his again. It was all his brain kept screaming. Lorenzo pushed himself forward, locking his lips onto the other boy’s again for one of the most passion-filled kisses he’s ever given to anyone.
Lorenzo reluctantly pulled his face back from Kayden’s chest a bit and looked up into the other boy’s eyes. His tear-stained face was probably not the best thing to look at but at that moment he couldn’t care less. Looking at Kayden he felt his chest tighten and his heart begin to flutter. It was very sobering. Lorenzo felt his face grow flush and he immediately buried his face once more. His tears had begun to dry up at this point, and now he the reality of the situation was beginning to hit him. He wasn’t used to being in such a vulnerable state in front of anyone, and it embarrassed him thoroughly.
“I’m sorry…” He started with a sniffle. “I-I don't know what came over me.”
He loosened his grip on the boy slightly, but then felt the emotions well up inside him again and re-fastened his hold, almost crawling into the other boy’s lap for comfort. His head was still swimming, but the only thing he could say with certainty was that he wanted to remain here in Kayden’s arms as long as humanly possible.
“Can we just… stay like this for a while?” He asked desperately. “I just want you to stay with me.”
He looked up again, this time with a purpose. He moved his left hand up from Kayden’s shoulder to cup the side of the blonde’s face. Lorenzo moved in slowly, tilting his head to the side a bit, trying to make it obvious what he wanted. He needed to feel Kayden’s lips on his again. It was all his brain kept screaming. Lorenzo pushed himself forward, locking his lips onto the other boy’s again for one of the most passion-filled kisses he’s ever given to anyone.
Kayden would hold Lorenzo for as long as he was needed, that's all there was to it at this point. Even before he was asked to stay, even before the other boy began apologizing like he'd done something no other human had done before, Kayden knew he was going to stay. It felt right, not morally right, but just correct, like he was where he was needed right now. Parties were forever, but somehow this moment felt important.
"Of cou-"
And when Lorenzo's tongue forced its way into Kayden's mouth, he didn't object or stop, even though he was certainly sure this exact action was what got the two of them into this soup of emotional upheaval in the first place. But that just made it even clearer, didn't it? Kayden was going to stay here with Lorenzo until he was no longer needed.
Kayden stayed with the kiss, not faltering because he wasn't a weak-ass bitch, and eventually their mouths parted, and Kayden was once again staring into Lorenzo's eyes.
"Of course, I'll be here with you okay? For-"
His words caught themselves a bit because now he didn't want to make Lorenzo feel like a burden. It took a few seconds, but they'd reworded themselves in Kayden's head before exiting the mouth.
"I'll stay with you tonight."
"Of cou-"
And when Lorenzo's tongue forced its way into Kayden's mouth, he didn't object or stop, even though he was certainly sure this exact action was what got the two of them into this soup of emotional upheaval in the first place. But that just made it even clearer, didn't it? Kayden was going to stay here with Lorenzo until he was no longer needed.
Kayden stayed with the kiss, not faltering because he wasn't a weak-ass bitch, and eventually their mouths parted, and Kayden was once again staring into Lorenzo's eyes.
"Of course, I'll be here with you okay? For-"
His words caught themselves a bit because now he didn't want to make Lorenzo feel like a burden. It took a few seconds, but they'd reworded themselves in Kayden's head before exiting the mouth.
"I'll stay with you tonight."
Lorenzo finally backed off from the kiss and opened his eyes to stare directly into Kayden’s beautiful blues. Lorenzo felt like he could lose himself in those eyes for forever if given the chance. That thought almost scared him, but even still, he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Kayden spoke again, telling him he’d be here with him. Lorenzo felt like his body was on fire hearing those words. For some reason he couldn’t explain those were the most important words for him to hear right now.
Maybe because it was the first time someone told him that and he felt like they actually meant it?
Maybe because for the first time in a long time he WANTED them to mean it.
His eyes began to well up again and he couldn't stop them. He didn’t even try. Instead he just let the tears fall free, for the first time in what seemed like forever abandoning any pretense and mask he usually wore, and just letting his emotions completely take control. Kayden once more spoke up, this time making it perfectly clear he would stay with Lorenzo tonight. Lorenzo’s face contorted into a mess of tears and happiness. He felt so relieved. As if he would have ceased to exist if Kayden had told him otherwise. As if his entire being would have been on the line if Kayden had left him here on his own. He threw his arms around the blonde’s neck and buried his tear-soaked face in the crook of his neck, continuing to sob as he attempted to say thing that would convey these feelings. Instead, all that he could manage were apologies and thanks.
“I’m sorry… Thank you… I’m sorry… Thank you.” He repeated over and over as he let himself melt into the other boy’s embrace.
Maybe because it was the first time someone told him that and he felt like they actually meant it?
Maybe because for the first time in a long time he WANTED them to mean it.
His eyes began to well up again and he couldn't stop them. He didn’t even try. Instead he just let the tears fall free, for the first time in what seemed like forever abandoning any pretense and mask he usually wore, and just letting his emotions completely take control. Kayden once more spoke up, this time making it perfectly clear he would stay with Lorenzo tonight. Lorenzo’s face contorted into a mess of tears and happiness. He felt so relieved. As if he would have ceased to exist if Kayden had told him otherwise. As if his entire being would have been on the line if Kayden had left him here on his own. He threw his arms around the blonde’s neck and buried his tear-soaked face in the crook of his neck, continuing to sob as he attempted to say thing that would convey these feelings. Instead, all that he could manage were apologies and thanks.
“I’m sorry… Thank you… I’m sorry… Thank you.” He repeated over and over as he let himself melt into the other boy’s embrace.
And by the time they touched, it was already morning.
*
By some miracle, the two hadn't been disturbed throughout the night as the bass thump through the floor eventually disappeared. At some point, the high he felt from the E faded away, as did the sugar from the many Red Bulls, and Kayden eventually drifted off to sleep and woke up to what seemed to be relative silence. Linen closets didn't have windows, so there was no way to tell what time it was, so Kayden was ready to look around for his phone to find out who he'd missed messages from, Grindr or otherwise, alongside the time. But his movement was suddenly limited by the fact that Lorenzo hadn't woken up and he was laying on his arm.
Yes, he was probably physically strong enough to rip his own arm out from under someone, but considering how rocky the night went, that might have been seen as a weird thing to do. So he waited, hoping that Lorenzo would return soon and the pins and needles wouldn't be too bad all things considered.
Eventually, the other boy stirred, and Kayden smiled.
"Hey."
He could barely hear his own voice - not that he was quiet, but more to the fact that he'd been standing near gigantic speakers all night. He was about to ask for his arm back, but something else took over.
"How you feeling?"
Some consideration.
*
By some miracle, the two hadn't been disturbed throughout the night as the bass thump through the floor eventually disappeared. At some point, the high he felt from the E faded away, as did the sugar from the many Red Bulls, and Kayden eventually drifted off to sleep and woke up to what seemed to be relative silence. Linen closets didn't have windows, so there was no way to tell what time it was, so Kayden was ready to look around for his phone to find out who he'd missed messages from, Grindr or otherwise, alongside the time. But his movement was suddenly limited by the fact that Lorenzo hadn't woken up and he was laying on his arm.
Yes, he was probably physically strong enough to rip his own arm out from under someone, but considering how rocky the night went, that might have been seen as a weird thing to do. So he waited, hoping that Lorenzo would return soon and the pins and needles wouldn't be too bad all things considered.
Eventually, the other boy stirred, and Kayden smiled.
"Hey."
He could barely hear his own voice - not that he was quiet, but more to the fact that he'd been standing near gigantic speakers all night. He was about to ask for his arm back, but something else took over.
"How you feeling?"
Some consideration.
Movement.
Lorenzo felt his heavy eyes crack open as he felt the stir of another body against his own. He moved himself slightly, and peeked up at the person beside him from where he lay. Kayden? As soon as he saw the blonde, the events of the night before came rushing back into the forefront of his mind, and Lorenzo felt himself go still and his face glow red with embarrassment. And before he could say anything he felt the kick of the hangover he’d have to deal with boot him directly in the brain with a vengeance. Lorenzo let out an audible groan, and he felt Kayden’s eyes on him. He asked a question, and Lorenzo heard himself responding before he could think.
“Head hurts…” He whined.
He felt a shiver run down his spine all of a sudden, and unconsciously he snuggled into the other boy a bit more for warmth and comfort. Realizing what he was doing when it was already too late, Lorenzo felt his face heat up even more. He buried his face into Kayden’s chest to avoid his gaze. He realized that he was still basically naked, only his briefs on to cover his body. It was a bit embarrassing. Lorenzo all of a sudden felt out of control of the situation, a feeling he wasn’t particularly used to.
“It’s cold.” He muttered into Kayden’s chest.
Lorenzo felt his heavy eyes crack open as he felt the stir of another body against his own. He moved himself slightly, and peeked up at the person beside him from where he lay. Kayden? As soon as he saw the blonde, the events of the night before came rushing back into the forefront of his mind, and Lorenzo felt himself go still and his face glow red with embarrassment. And before he could say anything he felt the kick of the hangover he’d have to deal with boot him directly in the brain with a vengeance. Lorenzo let out an audible groan, and he felt Kayden’s eyes on him. He asked a question, and Lorenzo heard himself responding before he could think.
“Head hurts…” He whined.
He felt a shiver run down his spine all of a sudden, and unconsciously he snuggled into the other boy a bit more for warmth and comfort. Realizing what he was doing when it was already too late, Lorenzo felt his face heat up even more. He buried his face into Kayden’s chest to avoid his gaze. He realized that he was still basically naked, only his briefs on to cover his body. It was a bit embarrassing. Lorenzo all of a sudden felt out of control of the situation, a feeling he wasn’t particularly used to.
“It’s cold.” He muttered into Kayden’s chest.
"And that, hun, is why I don't drink."
Although to be fair, the E probably wasn't helping. Still, at least he learned from that one experience.
Lorenzo shifted again and he felt his chest become home to Lorenzo's face, and the blood rush to his arm again. He looked down at the mop of green hair, feeling the breath against his pec, and a strange spat of positive emotion flashed its way up his spine. Something about this felt right, although Kayden was still too tired to know exactly which part - the Lorenzo in his arms, the fact there was a Lorenzo in his arms, or the fact he'd done something good for someone else without really expecting anything in return and got rewarded with the first two things. Either way, one of the above boxes was shaded in, and despite the headache, Kayden felt good.
"Hold on a sec."
Kayden's formerly trapped up reached up to one of the shelves above them, and just before the pain of re-entry shot into circulation, he grabbed a flat folded sheet, white in colour yet not stained with come like the ones beneath them. He flung the loose end out until it was no longer folded, and dropped it on top of the both of them. Kayden felt slightly overcome, what with the sheets below them and the boy on top of him and them, not to mention the new layer of fabric trapping everything in together, but, you know, whatever, it was fine for now. As long as Lorenzo was fine.
"There."
He resisted the urge to add a light insult, you know, as a joke, but only barely. It was in Kayden's nature, but now he was suddenly checking himself. Weird.
He felt thirsty, probably something to do with the headache, but that was a problem for later.
Although to be fair, the E probably wasn't helping. Still, at least he learned from that one experience.
Lorenzo shifted again and he felt his chest become home to Lorenzo's face, and the blood rush to his arm again. He looked down at the mop of green hair, feeling the breath against his pec, and a strange spat of positive emotion flashed its way up his spine. Something about this felt right, although Kayden was still too tired to know exactly which part - the Lorenzo in his arms, the fact there was a Lorenzo in his arms, or the fact he'd done something good for someone else without really expecting anything in return and got rewarded with the first two things. Either way, one of the above boxes was shaded in, and despite the headache, Kayden felt good.
"Hold on a sec."
Kayden's formerly trapped up reached up to one of the shelves above them, and just before the pain of re-entry shot into circulation, he grabbed a flat folded sheet, white in colour yet not stained with come like the ones beneath them. He flung the loose end out until it was no longer folded, and dropped it on top of the both of them. Kayden felt slightly overcome, what with the sheets below them and the boy on top of him and them, not to mention the new layer of fabric trapping everything in together, but, you know, whatever, it was fine for now. As long as Lorenzo was fine.
"There."
He resisted the urge to add a light insult, you know, as a joke, but only barely. It was in Kayden's nature, but now he was suddenly checking himself. Weird.
He felt thirsty, probably something to do with the headache, but that was a problem for later.
After a moment Lorenzo felt something light and cool fall over him, and he pulled his face out of Kayden’s chest to see that a sheet had been placed over their bodies. He looked up at Kayden and felt his heart start beating a little faster. It wasn’t a feeling he was used to. He was grateful that Kayden was allowing him to still be so needy, especially after last night. But also… there was a small part of him that was yelling for him to get the hell out of there as soon as he could. And the more he stared at kayden, the louder that voice was getting. Lorenzo did his best to shove it down.
“Thanks.” He mumbled, smiling up at Kayden softly.
He settled in even closer to the other boy and felt himself sigh with contentment. He wondered briefly how they’d been allowed to lay here unbothered for so long. The music was gone, so the party was definitely over, right? How late was it by now? Honestly, it surprised him, but he didn’t actually seem to care. He just wanted to keep laying here with Kayden as long as he could. He was so comfortable and it felt so good to be wrapped in the other boy’s arms.
He could figure out what that meant later, right now he just wanted to enjoy it.
“What time is it?” He wondered aloud. He didn’t really care to know, but he felt like he had to say something. Besides, if it was super late his family might start to get annoyed with him for not coming home or letting them know where he was, so he supposed he should have an idea of what amount of wrath was going to be awaiting him when he eventually returned.
“Thanks.” He mumbled, smiling up at Kayden softly.
He settled in even closer to the other boy and felt himself sigh with contentment. He wondered briefly how they’d been allowed to lay here unbothered for so long. The music was gone, so the party was definitely over, right? How late was it by now? Honestly, it surprised him, but he didn’t actually seem to care. He just wanted to keep laying here with Kayden as long as he could. He was so comfortable and it felt so good to be wrapped in the other boy’s arms.
He could figure out what that meant later, right now he just wanted to enjoy it.
“What time is it?” He wondered aloud. He didn’t really care to know, but he felt like he had to say something. Besides, if it was super late his family might start to get annoyed with him for not coming home or letting them know where he was, so he supposed he should have an idea of what amount of wrath was going to be awaiting him when he eventually returned.