I'm Not That Nice, I'm Mean and I'm Evil

Maraoone · #1

((Joanne lost her balance, arms, feet, everything flying through the air.))

[+] And so, for a moment, gravity lost its grip on her.

And she didn't see the ground part before her, but she felt it, it felt like it. The soil beneath her feet was dark,

[+] and the boundary between the dark soil and the dark was non-existent,

so had she even been walking on ground in the first place? Or had she been walking on air? Maybe that was why things had felt so fast in the first place. Why, in hindsight, the trees had felt like they were blurring by. No friction to stop her. No ground to grab onto the soles of her shoes, dragging her slowly, confining her slowly to the bowels of the woods.

[+] She had been weightless for a bit, chainless.

It still felt that way, to be honest. She could feel the air rushing by her exposed skin, raindrops slamming into her from below, rather than above. But that was gravity reclaiming its grip, dragging her into the center of the earth. But, that feeling of weightlessness had been real, at one point.

[+] There had been hope, at one point.

Maybe during that moment of weightlessness, she could have simply floated her way off the island. In hindsight, it seemed easy, if she had simply known. But then, what about the others? Maybe she could have floated, maybe she weighed less than air, yes, but what about the others? Adele, Tanisha, Kenzie, Teresa, hell, even the Carters. What about them? She couldn't have brought them, really, and she hadn't been thinking about bringing them, really,

[+] and that realization almost brought her back to earth as fast as the fall.

It didn't though. She still hadn't arrived back, there was still nothing to punctuate this eternal fall. She didn't feel the air rushing past her skin anymore, but perhaps that was just a matter of acclimatization, rather than her not falling. Everything was still a blur around her, her surroundings accelerating before reaching a final stop. Maybe a stop with a crunch. Just that, and then more of this darkness. Or maybe, it wouldn't stop.

[+] Maybe there was no end to all this.

She had found a part of the world God had left unfinished. Made sense that God had forgotten about this part of the world. It felt like it. God had forgotten about this particular island, and had left this particular patch open, and now Joanne was suffering for it. And she would suffer for it, for forever and ever. And that was OK. Well, not OK, but the thought didn't scare her as much as it should have. It was a fact of life now, like the sky being blue. It wasn't scary, but it was boring.

[+] This was taking too long.

She was wasting too much time here. She had things to do. Adele and Tanisha and Teresa and the others had come up in thought, and then they hadn't, and now they were back, and she realized that she had had days to come and find them, but she had just spent them hanging around with Kenzie and Billy, near and dear the former was to her heart. And the worst part was that she knew this, she had realized this last night, but she had just left it for the next morning because there had been so much time. There had always been time before. And now, there still was, but it wasn't time she could use properly. Just an eternity wasted.

[+] This was taking too long.

She should have left them that night, gone out to find Adele and Tanisha. She should have been formulating some sort of plan. Hunting down players, bringing justice to their victims. Thinking of an escape plan. Or convincing everyone else to stop killing, just wait for the collars to explode. Something. Because it was easy to give up. After 2016, after the elections, it was easy to say that things simply wouldn't get better. After Mom and Dad started to fight, it was easy to say that things wouldn't get better. After waking up, it was easy to say that things wouldn't get better. It took less energy. Letting things go the way they had gone took less energy. It hurt fighting for something only for it to go to nothing, so why fight at all? Joanne had simply been sucked of all her energy by everything, but now she felt it coursing through her, pulsating her vision, pulsating the world around her. She sensed energy everywhere, and she could harness it. If only she could actually use it to do something, though.

[+] This was taking too long.

She wanted this to end, already. One way or another. If she got the chance to do something, whatever that thing was, then let it happen. It she didn't, then she didn't. But, just.

[+] Stop it.: She got the message already. She should do something. Or she should've done something.

Was this her punishment for not doing anything? Was this hell? The idea of it seemed hellish. Floating in the dark for eternity. She'd done nothing before, so she would do nothing now. Karmic. Fitting. But, did she deserve it? She didn't think so, but that was what most sinners thought when they went to hell.

She didn't want this to be hell. Even if it ended a second later in screeching agony, it would be something. She wanted something to happen, she wanted to do something. She deserved better than this. Anyone did, really. She tried to pinch herself, but gravity's grip didn't loosen. She was paralyzed in freefall.

She tried to scream, but nothing came out. She couldn't even be accompanied by her own sounds. She tried to sense if it was cold or hot, and felt nothing. It felt like nothing. Her surroundings somehow became darker than dark, black on black, and her heart started beating like that of a hummingbird. It was something, but she didn't want this. It would just keep getting darker, and darker, and darker, and she knew it, God, she knew it, and she would be powerless to stop it. She didn't deserve this. But this was what she got. Despite everything, in her mind, she screamed. Or maybe because she had no other choice, nothing else to do, in her mind, she screamed,

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

stop.

stop.

stop.

stop

stop

stop

st o p

s to p

s t o p

s t op

s t o p

s t—

((And then the ground hit her.))