Brook Peterson

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Super Weegee
Posts: 228
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2018 6:14 pm

Brook Peterson

#1

Post by Super Weegee »

Name: Brook Peterson
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12
School: John Endecott Memorial Academy
Hobbies and Interests: Politics, reading, writing, drawing, watching TV, cross-country, discussing SOTF.

Appearance: Weighing at 165 pounds and standing at a tall 6'2, Brook has medium fair skin. He has thick black hair that reaches his shoulders and it is reasonably well-maintained, although that doesn't stop an out of place strand from being noticeable on occasion. He has a triangle shaped face, a delicate shaped nose, thin lips, proportioned brown eyes, and a mesomorph appearance. His body is kept in great shape due to his dedicated time in cross country and at the gym. He shaves once every two weeks. In terms of clothing, Brook can often be seen wearing shorts and short-sleeved shirts, and an occasional tank top whenever he's away from school premises. On the day of the abduction, Brook had a small amount of stubble and he was wearing a heavy black winter jacket, a green short-sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and gray Nike tennis shoes.

Biography: Born on September 23, 2003, Brook is the two-year younger brother of Joseph and the son of Melvin and Alice. Melvin worked as a pharmacist while Alice worked as an accountant in an office, particularly in the accounts-payable department. They first met in a grocery store and, although their conversations initially started off cold and terse, they warmed up to each other as they kept bumping into one another at the store, due to their similar views on various topics. Eventually, the encounters turned into something more and they got married a few years later. Alice's job was a constant source of stress for her, which has not changed years later. In contrast to Melvin's stable position in the company, Alice was constantly being bullied by her supervisors, being berated and insulted either behind her back or to her face, depending on her location. While she's well-liked among her other co-workers, they mostly kept their heads down while she got the brunt of the abuse. Since her job paid quite a bit, she was afraid to stand up for herself lest she be fired, since Massachusetts is an at-will state. This has been the basis for quite a few arguments for the parents, with Joseph constantly suggesting different jobs and Alice pointing out that none of the jobs in the area pays as well as her current one. Nowadays, Joseph gave up on trying to convince her and instead focused his attention on tending to Alice on particularly bad days.

When it came to their parenting, they were initially strict to Joseph and Brook in their elementary school years, insisting on various hobbies and making friends with various people, with mixed results for the brothers. While Joseph has made friends with some of the kids their parents introduced him to, Brook often felt forced to be friends with people he doesn't like at his parents insistence, especially since he barely had problems being friendly with many of his classmates. His refusal to speak to them resulted in a number of stern reprimands and he was often grounded for it. He felt that it was unfair and remained stubborn, staying as far away from the other parent-introduced kids as possible. After his grounding extended past two weeks, Melvin and Alice figured that they might have been doing something wrong and sat down with Brook to talk things out. After realizing Brook's perspective, they apologized and ungrounded him, promising to not force him into any situation where he felt uncomfortable again. Once the parents were in private, they agreed to be more passive towards their two children in general. They're supportive of their children and they let them take care of themselves, but they brought the hammer down on them whenever the two brothers got into major trouble.

His relationship with Joseph is positive, but has its rough patches every now and then. While they got along with each other in general, that didn't stop the occasional sibling spat from getting out of hand. Brook was quick to apologize whenever he was the instigator of a fight and usually gets punished for causing it, but Joseph was almost never sincere with his apology and typically escaped punishment, which seemed to go unnoticed by Melvin and Alice. Brook felt that that his parents preferred Joseph over him after some time and he avoided his brother whenever he took the brunt of his parent's wrath. Joseph, for his part, shrugged it off and assumed nothing changed. While Brook was able to forgive his brother quickly, since he knew that it's just a spat and nothing more, there were notable periods of some tension between the brothers at times.

Although Brook rebelled against his parents when it came to other people, he liked the hobbies that his parents introduced him to. When he was around the age of three, his parents taught him how to read and gave him a variety of books to read. At the age of six, he was a confident reader able to process the various words on paper quickly. With this newfound skill, he developed a love for books in general, to his parents joy. He visited the library frequently, checking out various books that had Melvin's approval. One of them was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and Brook loved the franchise from the start. Although his parents tried to keep him from reading the entire series in one go, wanting to delay the next entry in the series for each year, that didn't stop him from sneaking peeks at the next book on occasion. As Brook grew up, he gradually grew fond of the mystery, fantasy, thriller, post-apocalypse, and science fiction genre since he liked the various creative settings, plots, and characters. Recently, he started to branch out into non-fiction genres such as memoirs and autobiographies.

At school, Brook was able to make friends with his classmates with relative ease, often being seen as the "go with the flow" kind of person and being willing to let someone else take the reigns on what to do, although not to the point of being a pushover. His easy-going nature lured a couple of his classmates into assuming that he's an easy target for verbal bullying. While he wasn't able to defend himself properly at first, often retorting bad comeback lines, he managed to adapt somewhat quickly and can give as good as he got. This turned out to be a double-edged sword as, while this did dissuade many from continuing to bully him and gained the respect of some, others were angered at being insulted back and him being unswayed. In turn, Brook just ignored them and insulted the more persistent kids. His grades were pretty average, although he made sure his grades never dropped below a C. It was during this time that he was introduced to art class. He excelled at it, since it allowed him to put his imagination on paper in the form of drawings.

When he was midway through middle school, his fascination for reading developed into one for writing as well. During one of his English classes, his teacher assigned a project for the students to come up with a short fictional story of their own. Anticipating that it would be very difficult, he was surprised when the words flowed out from his thoughts onto the paper. In just a few hours, Brook was able to write a story about a notorious troll living in a mountain and a human child coming to visit them despite their reputation. His work was given a 100% grade by the teacher and it's the moment that Brook decided to turn writing into a hobby. He saw writing as a way to escape reality whenever it became too hard for him and as a way to create his own world and stories the way he envisions it instead of settling for the ideas of someone else. His love for writing would continue into high school, where he would immediately join the writing club to share his ideas and to help the other members with their own writings. While he wrote in various genres, he primarily stuck to the fantasy, post-apocalypse, and mystery genres.

Around this time, his parents insisted that Brook join an athletic team, figuring that it would help boost Brook's chances of being accepted into a good college. While initially reluctant, he relented and decided to join the cross-country team, figuring that it's the easiest sport to join. He started out as the lazy member of the team, much to the irritation of his teammates. Feeling like being in a team was all he needed, he felt like he didn't need to put in the effort. This eventually changed from apathy to aggressive competitiveness after a few races, enjoying the feeling of satisfaction whenever he defeated his opponents. Whenever he lost, Brook is noted to be a sore loser, often being in a bad mood and being unsportsmanlike towards his opponents and towards the teammates that he felt didn't do good enough. This has put his position on the team into danger a few times when they complained of it, but he has successfully managed to avoid being kicked off due to his apologies, which were often insincere, the irony of which has not gone unnoticed. After a few losses, he decided to work out at the gym to improve his chances of winning.

Brook has also noticed during his early years of high school that a few of his classmates were interested in people of the same sex rather than people of the opposite gender. He initially thought it was a bit strange, but didn't think much of it until he asked his parents about it. It quickly turned out that, due to Melvin and Alice both having conservative parents of their own, one of the topics that his parents agreed upon was that being homosexual was not genuine love, and they told him in no uncertain terms that only men can love women and vice versa. Whenever his parents agreed upon something that quickly instead of discussing it, it meant to Brook that they were very confident in their answer and, as they were almost never wrong whenever that happens, he believed it. This has made Brook controversial with his classmates, with some agreeing with his views, and others not wanting anything to do with him for his views. One day, after a heated argument with one of his classmates on social media, he used derogatory remarks to insult them. The school caught wind of it and suspended him for hate speech, leading to his parents severely reprehending him. This has done nothing to change Brook's views, it just taught him to be more subtle about how he insults people.

It was also around the same time that he developed an interest towards politics. Brook was initially indifferent to politics, thinking that it would only matter later after he entered college. After Canon's presidential election, his opinion on the subject changed. He quickly introduced himself to social media, wanting to see how people reacted to various hot button topics and current events. He initially leaned left during the beginning of the presidency, often joining many others in criticizing Canon in his numerous controversies. As time went by, he found himself being a little uneased by how people leaning to the right were demonized by left-leaning users, especially on Twitter and Reddit, but nevertheless stuck to the same side. When the protests against police brutality began in early 2020, he was also in support of it. As the year went by, however, he kept seeing footage from various protests-turned-riots that he believed necessitated the use of force by police, such as looting and arsons. Whenever he expressed this, he was attacked and insulted by other users on Twitter, often being called racist, much to Brook's confusion. His opinion on the protests would continue to worsen after he saw various left-leaning news sources that insisted on there being more peaceful protests than riots, ignoring the various small businesses being burned to the ground by said rioters, and social media users often dismissing the arsons as a consequence of police brutality rather than the riots not being quelled.

The last straw for him would come after the Kenosha unrest shooting, where he saw footage of the suspect being attacked, one of the attackers pulling a gun, and him obviously defending himself in his mind. After he made his opinion on the matter known, he was insulted and attacked yet again, with the vast majority of users calling the suspect an unrepentant murderer, despite Brook's insistence and screenshots of the video with closeups proving otherwise. His Twitter account would get suspended a short time later. At that point, Brook had lost his respect for the left and left-wing media and disregarded most of their opinions, feeling that they're appealing too much to emotion rather than facts. Since then, Brook has found that he actually agreed with some of the right-wing positions on various hot-button subjects once he did his own research on the subjects.

During the beginning of his sophomore year, Brook noticed that his classmates were talking about SOTF during one of their free periods. Upon asking about it, they filled him in on the details and recommended a couple sites where footage of it is being archived, along with a good VPN in case the rumors of ending up on a watch-list are true. While he tried to look up any discussions of the footage itself on mainstream sites, the very few posts that included videos or images from the games to showcase their point were quickly taken down by the moderators of the site. This forced him into going to the sites his friends told him about, which had the videos on various threads for discussions. Sure enough, the videos shocked Brook and, even today, he refused to watch them any more times than necessary. However, he believed that there should be a discussion about it and the videos should be archived, considering that there have been seven versions of the game with the terrorists still on the run. That train of thought led him to actively participate in the threads, debating how the most morally upstanding individual can be driven to brutally killing their own classmates. As time passed, he went from occasionally checking out the sites for any updates to logging onto the sites almost every day. In his opinion, whether the victim's families want to admit it or not, it's a part of history that shouldn't be scrubbed just because it's upsetting.

When it comes to his classes, Brook finds his English class to be his favorite, often scoring high A's, with social studies coming a close second. Since he's in cross-country and frequently works out at the gym, he excels at physical education as well. He also gets good grades in his art course. He performs about average with his other classes, with foreign languages being his weakest subject. Brook plans on going to college, but is still undecided about which specific one to go to. He also doesn't know which career he should focus on, despite his parent's and Joseph's recommendations. His relations with other students at school remain controversial even in his senior year due to his views against the LGBTQ+ community and due to his political views. This has even lead to a couple of fights on occasion, all of which were away from the school. He can also hold a grudge against other people that he feels he's been wronged by. His attitude towards other students that don't bully him has also remained the same; being laid back and willing to let someone else be the leader.

Advantages: Brook is in great physical shape and has excellent stamina due to his time at the gym and in cross-country. His willingness to let someone else be the leader and his easy-going, laidback nature makes it easier for him to form alliances, provided that others can tolerate his views. Having been in a couple of fights before, he's a tad more experienced than some of his classmates and is willing to fight dirty.
Disadvantages: His controversial reputation will follow him into the game, being alienated from potential allies at best or gaining enemies at worst. His views against the LGBTQ+ community can cloud his judgement against people who are positive to them or are a part of said community, and his tendency to hold grudges can further alienate allies who are willing to bury the hatchet and make more enemies.
V8 Relationships Thread
Brook Peterson
Lula Gray
[+] V7
V7 Appearance Tracker
ImageMatthew Hunt drawn by Ryuki and Kotorikun - Profile
Memories: 1 2
Pregame: 1 2 3 4
Trip: 1 2
V7: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Image Blake Davis - Profile - "...You knew..."
Memories: 1
Prom: 1
V7: 1 2 3 4
Any thoughts or criticisms on my writing are welcome and appreciated! Feel free to message me on Discord.
User avatar
Deamon
Posts: 2354
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:28 pm

#2

Post by Deamon »

Hi Super Weegee! I'll be taking a look at Brook for you today.

I'd like a lot more detail on Brook's appearance as currently, we have no details about his face at all.
Brook has a short stubble
The A here is unnecessary.
Feeling that they preferred Joseph over him after he escaped his groundings one too many times, he often avoided his brother for some time whenever it happens.
This sentence is confusingly phrased and tense switches halfway through so will need cleaning up.
At the age of six, he's a confident reader able to process the various words on paper quickly.
Remember that as the profile is written from the perspective on what Brook is like now at age 18, this should be in past tense, along with any other instances of using present tense to refer to past events.

What does Brook enjoy about reading?

What does Brook enjoy about the act of writing? Does he have any preferred genres that he writes in?
He was quickly introduced himself to social media,
This should just be 'He quickly introduced himself'
Brook noticed that his classmates were talking about SOTF during one of their free periods
Need to put were into this sentence.
a good VPN in case the rumors of ending up on a watch-list is true.
Are true, not is true.
This forced him into going to the sites his friends told him about, which has the videos on various threads for discussions.
Have no has.
considering that there has been seven versions of the game
Same again.

The content of the SOTF paragraph requires a rework, websites on the internet would allow discussion of the events. It would be treated much like any other tragedy would, people would still be able to talk about it and things like that. So it wouldn't be something that talking about gets you run out of the internet, unless Brook is saying it's a conspiracy or fake etc.
His relations with other students at school remains controversial
This should be remain.
his easy-going, laidback nature make it easier
Need to have this be 'makes it easier'

That's almost everything but I'm also going to need you to reread the profile and do a grammar pass because there's quite a few grammatical issues and tense issues within the profile at the moment.

And that's everything! Post back in here once you've made the edits and I'll take another look.
V8
Aracelis Fuentes
California “Cali” Fox
Darryl Smith Jr.
Jessica Romero
[+] V7
G047 - Aliya Kimia Nemati - Blowgun w/ 10 Poison Darts - you're nobody till somebody kills you - "I just wanted to talk." - DEAD
G001 - Arizona Butler - Camping Stove - Dead Bxdies in the Lake Part II - ""We got there eventually." - DEAD
B046 - Bret Carter - Weighted Net - Swerve - "I'll just be on my way and we can all continue with our evenings." - DEAD
G022 - Forrest Quin - Ball-gag and handcuffs - DRUGS SAV3D MY LIF3 - "Abe-" - DEAD
User avatar
Super Weegee
Posts: 228
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2018 6:14 pm

#3

Post by Super Weegee »

Done!
V8 Relationships Thread
Brook Peterson
Lula Gray
[+] V7
V7 Appearance Tracker
ImageMatthew Hunt drawn by Ryuki and Kotorikun - Profile
Memories: 1 2
Pregame: 1 2 3 4
Trip: 1 2
V7: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Image Blake Davis - Profile - "...You knew..."
Memories: 1
Prom: 1
V7: 1 2 3 4
Any thoughts or criticisms on my writing are welcome and appreciated! Feel free to message me on Discord.
User avatar
Deamon
Posts: 2354
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:28 pm

#4

Post by Deamon »

Okay, we're nearly there just a couple more details.
On the day of the abduction, Brook's facial hair is the length of a short stubble and he is wearing a heavy black winter jacket, a green short-sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and gray Nike tennis shoes.
So, the A in front of stubble is still there and the part you've added before it causes the sentence to read in an even more disjointed way so that will need to be fixed. You'll want something along the lines of "On the day of the abduction Brook had a small amount of stubble..." Additionally, this is all in present tense and not past tense so will need to be changed.
This forced him into going to the sites his friends told him about, which have the videos on various threads for discussions.
This will also need to be switched to past tense.

Alright, make those changes and I'll take another look!
V8
Aracelis Fuentes
California “Cali” Fox
Darryl Smith Jr.
Jessica Romero
[+] V7
G047 - Aliya Kimia Nemati - Blowgun w/ 10 Poison Darts - you're nobody till somebody kills you - "I just wanted to talk." - DEAD
G001 - Arizona Butler - Camping Stove - Dead Bxdies in the Lake Part II - ""We got there eventually." - DEAD
B046 - Bret Carter - Weighted Net - Swerve - "I'll just be on my way and we can all continue with our evenings." - DEAD
G022 - Forrest Quin - Ball-gag and handcuffs - DRUGS SAV3D MY LIF3 - "Abe-" - DEAD
User avatar
Super Weegee
Posts: 228
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2018 6:14 pm

#5

Post by Super Weegee »

Fixed!
V8 Relationships Thread
Brook Peterson
Lula Gray
[+] V7
V7 Appearance Tracker
ImageMatthew Hunt drawn by Ryuki and Kotorikun - Profile
Memories: 1 2
Pregame: 1 2 3 4
Trip: 1 2
V7: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Image Blake Davis - Profile - "...You knew..."
Memories: 1
Prom: 1
V7: 1 2 3 4
Any thoughts or criticisms on my writing are welcome and appreciated! Feel free to message me on Discord.
User avatar
Deamon
Posts: 2354
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:28 pm

#6

Post by Deamon »

APPROVED
V8
Aracelis Fuentes
California “Cali” Fox
Darryl Smith Jr.
Jessica Romero
[+] V7
G047 - Aliya Kimia Nemati - Blowgun w/ 10 Poison Darts - you're nobody till somebody kills you - "I just wanted to talk." - DEAD
G001 - Arizona Butler - Camping Stove - Dead Bxdies in the Lake Part II - ""We got there eventually." - DEAD
B046 - Bret Carter - Weighted Net - Swerve - "I'll just be on my way and we can all continue with our evenings." - DEAD
G022 - Forrest Quin - Ball-gag and handcuffs - DRUGS SAV3D MY LIF3 - "Abe-" - DEAD
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