Monti Morgan

[Aura]

Name: Montana "Monti" Morgan
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Grade: 12
School: John Endecott Memorial Academy
Hobbies and Interests: Social media, partying, surfing, music

Appearance: Monti stands about 5'6" and weighs around 122 pounds. Her figure is defined by long, slender limbs and curvy hips. She is Caucasian with a tan from a healthy amount of time spent in the sun. She has a light dusting of freckles scattered across her nose, cheeks, and shoulders. She has long blonde hair, straight but messy. Her bright blue eyes rest under a set of thing blonde eyebrows. Her full lips are frequently painted with shiny lipstick, the color of which changes almost daily. She's known for having an almost constantly relaxed expression accompanied with a calm smile, as though nothing manages to bother her.

Monti's wardrobe is designed for comfort. Her closet consists primarily of oversized T-shirts and off-the-shoulder tops, accompanied by either shorts or long skirts. She almost always wears sandals unless something requires her to wear closed-toe shoes. On the day of the trip, Monti was wearing a light blue hooded sweatshirt over a tye-dye top consisting of pink, yellow, and sky blue. She also wore light grey pants with a green stripe down the leg, and dark blue shoes with light blue streaks.

Biography: Ariana and Aaron Morgan were a surf instructor and a music teacher who have both spent their entire lives on the east coast. In their mid-twenties, while living in Chatham, Massachusetts, they had their only child, Monti. Neither of them had prepared much for parenthood, but they swore to do the best that they could for her.

Growing up, Monti's parents did have rules in place to keep her safe, but they were generally very lax in terms of restrictions. They would keep her away from things that were blatantly inappropriate for her age, but in general, she had a lot of freedom to make her own decisions. Although their house wasn't the most structured, both Ariana and Aaron were loving parents who were proud to raise their daughter, and she was very happy with both of them. Her parents jobs were seasonal, with Ariana's surfing job making her busier in the summer, while Aaron's position at a middle school made him busier during the school year, so one of them was always able to be home with her.

Monti's early interests took after her parents. With their frequent beach trips, it was only natural that she would take note of her mom's penchant for surfing, and she was hooked the first time she saw her mother on the waves. Monti herself wasn't able to make her first attempt at surfing until she was eight years old, but she was always excited to see the beach. In addition, the beach was one of the father's favorite places to freestyle with his guitar, which also drew her attention. She tried a few instruments of her own over the years, but in the end she followed her father's footsteps with the guitar.

Monti has always been good at talking to people and making friends. Even during her first day of school, she didn't have any real hesitancy when it came to talking to other kids, and she was always eager to try anything. Academically, however, she had a few issues. While not unintelligent by any means, she had a tendency to let her mind wander off during lessons, missing valuable information in the process. While this was not enough to cause her to fail her classes, her inconsistent test performances were proof enough of her lack of concentration.

When Monti was 10, her father was offered a position at a university, and he couldn't pass up the opportunity. The family moved to Salem to be closer to Aaron's new job, and Monti wasted no time in befriending her new peers just as easily as the kids in Chatham with her chill and amicable attitude. Ironically, the person who would become her best friend was someone who possessed the exact opposite of those traits, October Valentine. Amidst Monti's vast pool of friends, the troubled girl grew into her most consistent companion through the years.

Monti adjusted comfortably to Salem over the next few years. The biggest problem for her was no longer being able to visit the beaches that she had loved so much growing up. Salem did have a couple of small beaches, one of which Ariana started working as a lifeguard at, but nothing near what they had in Chatham. Monti managed by putting more time into practicing her music, as well as spending time with the new friends that she was making. She started to become quite proficient with the guitar, and several chords quickly entered muscle memory for her. As for her family, their new situation didn't rattle them much, and her parents' jobs were helping them pay the bills well enough.

As she entered high school, despite her enthusiasm, Monti didn't get involved in many extracurricular activities. She still maintained her usual schedule of playing music and going to the beach when she was out of class, which was good enough for her. She did well enough in classes, maintaining her B average, but her habit of daydreaming in classes has no gone away. If anything, it became worse as her imagination grew more vivid. But even so, she managed to take enough notes to get by. Among her classmates, she attained a very respectable level of popularity. She rarely got on anyone's bad side, and even then it was never intentional. Her easygoing nature made it very easier for her to drift around and blend in with various groups around campus.

It was also in high school that Monti realized that she was bisexual. With the advice of her parents, it was a fairly easy process to understanding and accepting her orientation. She realized that she liked both girls and boys, and her parents were fully supportive of her, so she wears her sexuality with pride. She's a bit of a casual flirt, but usually doesn't take it far outside of acting playful. Despite a handful of dates, she has yet to enter a long-term relationship.

In the last couple of years, Monti has become very active on social media, running her own Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube pages. Her method of posting is a bit random. Sometimes she'll post herself playing guitar, other times she'll write out whatever is on her mind that day, and sometimes she just posts pictures of a neat-looking rock or flower she found. But despite her lack of defined focus, it's been a fairly successful venture for her thus far, with an audience of about 9,000 collected across her platforms. She started monetizing her YouTube channel and set up a Patreon account for funding. It's providing some returns for the time being, earning just under two hundred dollars per month and slowly rising, but she needs to either expand her online reach or find a full-time career in order to make a living once she graduates. Her parents are both aware of her online activities, and they have reached an understanding that as long as Monti uses the internet responsibly and keeps her grades up, she can continue her influencer activity.

Right before senior year, October moved into Monti's home due to irreconcilable differences with her parents, and Monti and her family welcomed her with open arms. Although the events leading up to it were quite negative and uncomfortable, Monti was happy to have her best friend under the same roof.

The closest thing that Monti has to a job is occasionally playing her guitar at one of the local coffee shops on one of the nights where they have live music. It isn't a large payday, but it does give her the chance to practice playing in front of a crowd, and it's a nice place to try out some of her new songs. It's been giving her a taste of what being a professional musician would be like, and it's got her invested.

In her spare time, Monti's outgoing nature has made her a regular at the school's party scene. She gets invited to most parties simply because she's a fun, relaxed presence, and she never disappoints. Although she's seen a few wild parties, she doesn't have much of a taste for alcohol, finding it gross. However, she has smoked weed at a few parties in the past and found it to her liking. She hasn't made a habit out of it, but she usually wouldn't turn it down if given the option.

Every summer, Monti and her family take a trip back to Chatham to hit up the old beaches, and so that Ariana and Monti can scratch their surfing itch. Their week in Chatham is always the part of the year that Monti looks forward to the most. A week of restaurants from her childhood, old and new memories on the beach, and just spending a great time with her parents. She always plans for it months in advance, a stark contrast to her approach to most other parts of life.

As for her future plans, Monti hasn't put a whole lot of thought into them. She is mostly thinking about going into music like her dad, but she's also considering following her mom's footsteps into surfing. Whatever happens, though, she's willing to go with the flow, and she's pretty sure that things will turn out all right.

Advantages: Monti is in decent shape thanks to her experience surfing, and has good stamina as a result. Her chill, pleasant personality is also unlikely to stir tension among others, so working peacefully comes naturally to her. She also has a fair amount of friends among the student body, which would make it easy for her to find allies, especially in the case of October Valentine.
Disadvantages: Monti is not used to thinking on her feet, so her snap decisions will likely leave a lot to be desired. In addition, she is less likely to make the first move in a confrontation, which would put her at a distinct disadvantage against a hostile opponent. She also doesn't scrutinize people very often, which could make it easier for her classmates to manipulate her and hide their motives.

[Buko]

Hey Aura! It’s Buko back at it for Monti round 2! Thank you so much for both your patience and for what appears to be a non-insignificant amount of effort in the revisions! You’ll be pleased to know that I think Monti is very much nearing acceptable and there remains only a few short things standing in the way of Montana and approval!

So let us get into ‘em!

Appearance

Very much appreciate the added details and specifically the abduction outfit. This goes into forming a more thorough and clear vision of Monti. There is a bit of an issue with her clothing though and how it isn’t truly appropriate to the weather or setting. This post mentions specifically that Pre-Game will follow the autumn semester and the abduction will be occurring in December. It being Salem and being the dead of winter—sandals and tank tops ain’t gonna cut it! I’m thinking on behalf of Monti’s toes and making sure she avoids frost bite!

Biography

Ariana and Aaron Morgan were a surf instructor and a music teacher who have both spent their entire lives on the east coast. In their mid-twenties, while living in Chatham, Massachussetts,

Should be Massachusetts.

I have little issues in terms of content although I still find somethings rushed throughout the biography. A big glaring one is the fact that you skip from age ten to high school age and this causes the timeline in the biography to become a bit jumbled and rushed as well. This comes into play a lot in the social media realm. Monti is not characterized as someone who is particularly driven or ambitious and so I am curious as to how she is monetizing her Social Media presence and would like more detail on that if she’s using social media not only to maintain social capital in high school but to get economic gains as well. Does she sell ads as a micro influencer or is there a patreon/subscription type model that is getting her this pocket change? Personally, I think you get enough mileage out of the social media stuff without translating into the arena of it being a profession. There’s a lot you can do here, I just need some more detail for a clearer vision.

Reread this biography and watch your tenses! There is a few incidents where you switch from past to present tense and they are a bit too numerous to be productive in pointing out individually at this point! Read, reread and revise! Simplicity in sentence structure and in the stating of ideas are your friend!

My goal for the next time is to be much quicker on the draw in terms of this critique. As always if you need any help or would like me to expand on anything in this critique feel free to hit me up via PM, Discord or through astral projection/messenger pigeon! I will respond quicker to the first two! Good luck and looking forward to round 3!

[Aura]

Revised and ready!

[Buko]

Alright for the appearance, I am gonna wanna fix the formatting a bit and make it two paragraphs as opposed to four smaller ones with a bit of stuttered main ideas. Also a little thing is that in our world Abduction Day isn't a national holiday like it would be in say TV3, just the day of the abduction is fine.

But those are little things and I can do that quick little edit for you. I think I've kept you long enough in pre-game registry! Do try and keep this critique in mind in case things come up again if/when Monti is submitted for game proper! But for now?

APPROVED!