Songfest #139: Happy Tunes of Violence and Dissonance

Wait, why this song is about (insert uncomfortable topic here)?

SOTF's own Eurovision-style song contest. Submit songs that fit the theme and get mercilessly judged on your taste in music here.
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Ahab9
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Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:36 am

Songfest #139: Happy Tunes of Violence and Dissonance

#1

Post by Ahab9 »

Ah, nothing like a sweet nursery ryhme to relax.

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But back on track! Hello everyone, and welcome to the 139th version on the SOTF songfest, the only musical race where teenage murder is only optional!
This time I, known whale harpooner and former El Capitan, Ahab (the 9 is silent!), will be your host for this version after receiving hosting duties by our local otter supporter!
[+] Mandatory Otter Ad
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So, for the theme: Do you ever jived with a song you later find out was about murder? Do you sang wrong lyrics for a ballad and after finding out later how the real thing sounds you really wished you didn't? If you wish to submit an happy, sappy song based around the darkest topics, look no further: this version is for you!
[+] Da rules
- submit your song via PM or discord, whichever's easier for you!

- songs will be randomly divided into 1, 2 or 3 semifinals depending on turnout. if there are less than 20 submissions within 5 days, then there will only be one final round. if you're going to be away at some point in the next couple of weeks, let me know and I can try to put your song in a round when you'll be here.

- listen to every song and give points to your top 10 favorites: 12 to your favorite, 10 to your second, 8 to your third, 7 to your fourth, and so on down to 1 point for your tenth favorite. if there are less than 10 songs to vote for in a round, then simply cut off the bottom portion of the ballot (i.e. no 1 point songs, no 2 point songs, and so on)

- if your song is in a given round, you must vote that round or you'll be eliminated. if your song isn't in that round (or you aren't in the contest at all), your vote will be counted as a public vote, which counts for half points.
- the top [x] songs will move on to the final. that number depends on the number of contestants.
- repeat the process for the finals and we get a winner.

- winner gets to hold the next contest, or they can pass the job along to 2nd place if they don't want to. 2nd place can pass down to third, etc, until someone wants to host.

general song rules:
- no eurovision songs
- no reality show/competition covers
- no songs already submitted in a songtest - thank you to Dancake for the list here (BLESS!)
- there is no penalty for length in this contest. however, if a song goes over 7 minutes, listeners aren't obligated to listen to more than the first 7 minutes of the song. so choose a long song at your own risk!

each semifinal and the final will last for three days. some rules about activity:
- if you know at the start of your semifinal that you wont be available to vote for those three days, let me know ASAP and I can move you to another semifinal, if we aren't on the final one already.
- I'll be pinging everyone who hasn't voted on discord 48 and 24 hours before the round ends.
Signups will run until 4th of June, 2024 16:00 PM EST, with the following post submitted approximately the next day.

I'm always available for any problems, so hit me up if you think you'll be late! See you soon and remember to have fun!

Contestants!
  • Ahab!
  • Fiori!
  • Dr. Adjective!
  • F1nch3z!
  • Professor Fether!
  • Laurels!
  • DerArknight!
  • Carlisle!
  • Ruggahissy!
  • Midnight_Twelve!
  • Pancapples!
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Ahab9
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:36 am

#2

Post by Ahab9 »

Hello again folks, welcome back to Channel 139! It's A-me, Ahab, here to give you an hefty dose of endorphine and adrenaline!
But first, let's give a round of applause for contestants!

Known ship captain, wanted in not less than three different states for illegal whale hunting, Ahab!
Fiery as the fires of fictional Hell, the one and only Fiori!
Local otter supporter and proud doctorate owner, Dr. Adjective!
Xtreme as the Kool-Aid Man, F1nch3z!
The GOAT (not the animal, except if you're into them-not in that way, get your mind off the gutter), Professor Fether!
Literate connoisseur and famous Greek headwear, Laurels!
The Black Knight himself, straight from Monty Phyton, DerArknight!
A anthropomorphized archipelago, Carlisle!
The other GOAT, known Chainsaw Man fan and renaissance woman, Ruggahissy!
Clockmaker, nocturnal, and a number: Midnight_Twelve!
PANKAKES!!! (BUT ALSO APPLES!!), Pancapples!


You can send your votes to me by Discord until 16.00 PM EST, Thursday 13, June 2024!
Happy voting!
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Ahab9
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:36 am

#3

Post by Ahab9 »

WE'RE SO BACK AAAAAAHHHH!

HELLO! TO THE FINAL SHOWDOWN OF THE (Removes Caps Lock) songfest n°139 (trademark reserved, all rights goes to the respective owners)! Here with the first results!
[+] 13th Place
No-one actually, but I already made this section, sooooo...
Did you know that my first choice was actually Blondie? She once made a single about how one of her fans stalked her through a tour, and she was like 'Well shit, that's scary, but it'd make for a great song!'
Ah, the Eighties. They were definitely years. Like the Nineties, and the 2000s, and so on; moving on...
It was the perfect choice, but then I changed my mind. In hindsight I shouldn't have.
[+] 12th Place
My self-disappointment is so great, it ate up two whole positions! :cry:
Like, I had it right in my playlist but no-
Wait, what is this? Where's the writer, who's putting this crap on my script-

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Ahab9
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#4

Post by Ahab9 »

A-Ahem...WE'RE SO BACK AAAAAAHHHH!

HELLO AGAIN! TO THE FINAL SHOWDOWN OF THE (Removes Caps Lock) songfest n°139 (trademark reserved, all rights goes to the respective owners)!
Here with the first, actual, results!
[+] 11th Place
Maxwell's Silver Hammer, coming up at 38 Points (and a 10!), sung by the unforgettable Beatles and submitted by Fiori!
[+] 10th Place
Yume no Shima Shinen Kouen, coming up at 41 Points (and a 10!), soundtrack and leifmotiv of every bat murderer, submitted by DerArknight!
[+] 9th Place
Everything Now, coming up at 42 Points (and a 10!), sung by the Arcade Fire and featuring consumism, submitted by Ahab!
[+] 8th Place
Help me, Rhonda, coming up at 48 Points (and a 12!), sung with much chill by the very tanned Beach Boys and submitted by Pancapples!
[+] 7th Place
What's Up?, coming up at 56 Points (and a 10!), sung by Mom's Jeans (branding made by Levi Strauss), submitted by F1nc3z!
Stay Tuned!
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Ahab9
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Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:36 am

#5

Post by Ahab9 »

Here with the rest of the results!
[+] 6th Place
Keeping your Head Up, coming up at 57 Points (and two 12s!), sung by Birdy in their brief time as swimming instructors, submitted by Carlisle!
[+] 5th Place
Happy When it Rains, coming up at 60 Points (and a 12!), sung by Garbage-I mean, Jesus and Mary Chain and submitted by Midnight_Twelve!
[+] 4th Place
Happiness, coming up at 67 Points (with three 12s, and a 10!), sung very unhappily by Goldfrapp and submitted by Ruggahissy!
[+] 3th Place
9 to 5, coming up at 72 Points (with a 12, and two 10s!), sung by Dolly Parton during her mandatory lunch break, submitted by Laurels!
Next up, with our finalists! The match to end all matches!
Professor Fether VS Dr. Adjective!

COMING SOON, IN YOUR FAVOURITE THEATER!
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Ahab9
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:36 am

#6

Post by Ahab9 »

IT'S TIME!

THE DESTINY OF THE WORLD WILL BE FOREVER ALTERED BY THIS RESULTS! FOREVERRRRRRRR!!!!

And now, for our second place we got...
[+] 2nd Place
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Dr. Adjective!
Scoring 74 Points (and three 10s!) with Five Get Over Excited, by The Housemartins!
And our Winner! Which is none other than...
[+] 1st Place
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Professor Fether!
Reaching a whopping 83 Points (with three 12s, and a 10!) for Enola Gay, by the Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark!
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Ahab9
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2023 8:36 am

#7

Post by Ahab9 »

Thank you for joining up!
See you next time!
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