To Grandmother's House We Go

[Dr. Nic*]

[Boy #14 - Alex White. Continued from And Through the Woods.]

Fucking announcements.

Fucking people.

Fucking island.

At least he caught a break. He may not have been very lucky in the past few days, but at least he was alive. And he was going to stay that way. He made it out of the south side just in time, it seemed. By the time he got through the forest and found the road, they were already announcing the new danger zones. And boy, were there a lot of them. The entire south side of the island. All of it. Including the woods he just barely got through. And the only reason he was alive right now, and not running for his life somewhere on the south end, was his determination to find and kill everyone that stood in his way of becoming the last man standing. Of being the sole survivor. To get back home when this was all over, and see his family. If they would still want him.

The past two weeks were hell. Hell for him, hell for everyone else on this island, and especially hell for the people he killed. He made them hurt, and suffer, and ended their lives before they even had a chance to live them. And he knew that. And he would live with that. But he was going to live. He didn't care if he was a monster. He didn't care if he was going to burn when this was all over, if his immortal soul was forfeit for his actions. He could live with that. But he was going to live. And he was going to make it off of this god forsaken island, and make it back home to his family. Even if they didn't want him. And after what he had done to those girls? It wasn't likely that they would.

His father would turn his back on him.

His brother would disown him.

His mother would cry, and claim he was dead. That he died on the island.

His grandparents? Two of them were dead already, and he missed them. But the others... would they disown him as well? He always loved his grandparents. He loved visiting with them, and spending weekends at their house. He loved taking road trips with them, going fishing and staying at the cabin. He loved sitting down in the den with his grandfather and learning how to play a new song. Mozart and Beethoven and Bach. He loved the works of Einaudi though. He didn't mind the classics, but Einaudi was where his heart really was. His grandfather introduced him to the music. Bought him CDs every birthday. Gave him sheet music for christmas. Taught him how to play every weekend. How would they react when they saw what he had done? What he had done to other people in order to survive.

Would they disown him? Would they say he was dead?

...Was it really worth it to go home now?

He missed his mother, and the way she played the piano for him when he was sad. He missed his father, and the trips they would take up north. He missed his brother, even if he was a pain in the ass know-it-all. He fought, and fought hard, to survive. To be able to protect his friends, to see them again. And then they were all dead, and he had no one to fight for but himself. But he fought harder. He pushed on, and found the one person he had left. And then... he killed him. He killed him, and that girl. Over a misunderstanding. Because he wanted to survive more than they did. Because when it came down to it, he was willing to do whatever it took to survive. That's why he killed them, wasn't it? Because he wanted to survive.

He told himself it was worth it before. But was it?

Alex hobbled along on the road. Left with nothing but his thoughts to occupy his time. Thoughts of his friends, and the people he knew here. Thoughts of his family back home, and if they were watching. He thought about how people would react when he got home. Would they be happy that he was alive, or horrified at what he did to stay alive? He thought about seeing his family again. Hugging his mother. Talking with his father. Fighting with his brother even. He thought about seeing his grandparents again. He missed his grandmother's cooking, and his grandfather's stories. He missed watching movies or listening to music with him. He missed playing games with his brother, or reading with his mother. He missed hiking with his father out in the woods, or fishing with the family on the lake.

He missed his home. And wondered still if it was worth it.

It had to be. Surviving this place, and getting back home to his family. It had to be worth it. It was worth it for everyone else, so it had to be worth it for him. It was worth it for the people in past versions of this damn game, so it had to be worth it. Getting back home, seeing your family again, simply surviving to see a day outside of the game was worth any price. It was worth the blood of an innocent person. It was worth the lives of those who stood in the way. It was worth the pain, and misery, and suffering that he caused. It was worth it to make it out of this alive and in one piece. No matter what the cost, it was worth it.

It had to be.

His family was worth it.

His life was worth it.

He was worth it.

Alex hobbled along. And thought about his family. About the day he would be able to see them again.

About the day he would be able to prove that everything he did here was worth it.

[Boy #14 - Alex White. Reaching the end of the line in The Aristocrats.]