Juliana Jones

[ifnotwinter*]

Name: Juliana Jones
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Psychology, movies, emotionally healthy living, reading

Appearance: Juliana's 5'5" frame is a comfortably average height, the 160lbs it carries making her somewhat overweight. The fat is distributed mainly around her lower belly and hips although she has a decent-sized bust as well, and a definite roundness to her face. Her features take after her father with large coffee-colored eyes settled over a sharp nose and a wide mouth with plump lips (all too often bearing the marks of her chewing on them). High cheekbones and a stubborn chin blessedly acne-free complete the picture of a girl who, while unlikely to be called beautiful, could probably be referred to as cute. She considers her best feature to be long brown hair with a strong natural curl that falls just past the middle of her shoulderblades and is usually caught back with a hairband or bandanna. Her cafe-au-lait skin is home to the usual assortment of small freckles and moles, the most noticeable being a large round birthmark on the side of her neck.

Juliana typically wears jeans and patterned blouses or button-down shirts, disliking tees and preferring to err slightly on the side of overdressed. She favours discrete flats over sneakers or anything with a heel and usually wears a pair of small gold studs in her ear and a gold necklace with a thin pendant in the shape of the letter J which her father gave to her as a child.

Biography: Meredith Jones never wanted to have a baby. But unfortunately a healthy disregard for birth control combined with an amorous boyfriend meant that at seventeen she found herself giving birth to a 7lb 4oz girl. Despite her original interest in adopting the baby out Meredith was never quite able to go through with it, and instead moved in with her parents to care for the newly-christened Juliana.

Juliana's father, Julio, had made clear early in the pregnancy that he wanted nothing to do with his child, but shortly after the birth he reluctantly agreed to at least try to be part of his daughter's life. This worked better than anyone could have expected, with he and Meredith slowly rekindling their relationship. When Juliana was two years old Meredith moved out of her parent's house and into Julio's, and for four years they enjoyed a relatively happy partnership. Meredith was able to complete a degree in journalism while Julio worked as a paramedic, and Juliana grew up as the center of their small but tight-knit family. A bright and gregarious child who devoured books and concocted rich fantasy scenarios with her toys and stuffed animals, she enjoyed preschool and kindergarten and seemed to have an ideal life.

However, around the time she turned six, her parent's relationship began to turn rocky. The pair had begun to grow apart and it snowballed rapidly until her parents were constantly arguing with each other. It was shortly before her seventh birthday that the two decided to finally split for good, a decision helped by Julio's need to move back to Indiana to spend time with his own family. Juliana found the split difficult and often argued with her mother about it, feeling that Meredith didn't try hard enough to keep the relationship going. The fact that her father lived so far away was something that she struggled with in particular, especially as he fell out of contact with the family almost immediately after leaving and never attempted to get in touch again. And it wasn't just the split making her life change; the loss of her father meant that her mother needed a second job in order to pay the bills, taking a position as a receptionist at a local advertising company's headquarters. Unfortunately the extra work severely limited her time at home and since Juliana was far too young to stay in their house alone or get herself home from school, she began leaving school with a friend (Lindsay) and staying with them until her mother could pick her up.

At first, Juliana enjoyed the arrangement. Although she wished she could spend more time with her mother she preferred being at her friend's house to being in the school's after-care program and came to view Lindsay's family as a second home for her. The more time she spend there, however, the more things began to change. Lindsay's father, always strict, began to punish Juliana for small transgressions such as spilling paint on the floor or forgetting to clear her dishes after a meal. The punishments began as time-outs and separation of the two girls (who had become nearly inseparable), but rapidly progressed. The first time he struck Juliana was after she refused to leave Lindsay alone during designated 'homework time', an act which terrified and confused her. Lindsay's father took her aside after seeing her reaction and explained that the blow was due to her not listening or respecting him, and that if she told her mother about it, her mother would be angry and upset by her daughter's actions. Juliana took those words to heart and although her mother noticed her strange emotional state that night, never said a thing when questioned.

After that day, everything changed. Lindsay's father began to physically and emotionally abuse both Juliana and Lindsay on a regular basis. Juliana was regularly told that she was a bad girl who deserved the punishments and that if she spoke to her mother about them her mother would hate and probably leave her. He also regularly threatened both girls with separation from each other, something they had grown to fear as they relied heavily on each other for support. At school she became withdrawn and antisocial with everyone but Lindsay, refusing to interact with her classmates and speaking as little as possible during class time. Concerned teachers spoke to the parents of both girls but were unable to get any clear answers, and eventually it was decided that Juliana must still be affected by her parent's separation. Lindsay's father was always careful that any marks left could be chalked up to Juliana's notorious clumsiness and both girls were so terrified of being split up that any questions concerning abuse were answered with resounding 'no's. Lindsay's mother, while not often home at the same time as the girls, denied any abuse as well when questioned despite knowing about it, for reasons Juliana never knew.

When Juliana was nine years old, her mother was invited to spend a week in Hawaii with an old friend. She jumped at the chance, asking Lindsay's parents to babysit Juliana. Five days into the seven day sleepover, Lindsay's mother left on a vacation of her own. That night Lindsay's father separated the girls as he often did for punishment, sending Juliana to his room instead of allowing her to sleep with Lindsay as was her custom when staying over. There he raped her before telling her in careful detail how what he had done was something he had to do, because she deserved it. He told her that if she ever told anyone what he had done, he would not only do the same to Lindsay, but that everyone, her family especially, would hate her for what had happened.

When Meredith came to pick Juliana up on her return, she noticed immediately how withdrawn and uncommunicative her daughter had become. After intense questioning she was only able to ascertain that something had happened, and assumed Juliana and Lindsay had argued. She was surprised when later Juliana refused to return to Lindsay's house, but between the stresses of her work and the fact that Juliana otherwise seemed okay chose to chalk it up to kids being kids. In fact Juliana had begun to strongly repress the memories of what had happened, sinking deeply into denial and choosing to remember that night as one of nightmares, not reality.

Very shortly thereafter Lindsay's family moved away in order for her father to find work. Without the stress and trauma of having to see Lindsay and her family all the time, Juliana began to slowly return more to her old self. Although she still suffered from nightmares and had issues with being touched, she firmly buried all that had happened to her deep within her memory. The older she got, the deeper she buried her childhood trauma.

She entered middle school as a good student, focused and diligent. Although she habitually avoided boys she was able to become close friends with several of the girls, and became known for her generous personality. Always eager to do what people wanted and be as helpful as possible, she found herself in more than one friendship which wasn't particularly healthy as girls realized that she would do almost anything to feel accepted and wanted. It finally began to collapse around Grade 8, when she overheard a group of girls talking about her in the library. Shocked by the knowledge that most were 'friends' with her solely because of her overly-generous nature and how easily she could be taken advantage of, she quickly became depressed and sunk into a spiral of self-loathing. It didn't help that memories from her past were beginning to surface, making her wake screaming at night and feel irrationally scared and threatened by the presence of other people, most often men.

Although she tried to hide her feelings from her mother, who still worked hard and for long hours in order to support to the two of them, it wasn't long before Meredith noticed. After several unproductive talks she chose to send Juliana to therapy, an event which changed Juliana's life. Suddenly she was somewhere she could talk about whatever she wanted and not be ignored or judged. Here was someone who would not only listen to all the emotions she had tried to store inside of of herself, but who could help her deal with them. After two months she found herself recounting for the first time in her life the story of the abuse she had suffered as a child, and not long after that admitting to the sexual assault. Although there were many times when she felt like quitting as emotions ran high and previously ignored memories and feelings returned to her, she struggled on through in hopes that things would get better. Often her therapist suggested disclosing the information to police, but Juliana refused. The threats Lindsay's father had made still weighed heavily on her mind when it came to any disclosure and she felt unable to handle the difficulties a trial would bring. However, she did disclose the abuse to her mother after almost a year of therapy, feeling that she couldn't keep it hidden any longer. Meredith was shocked and for quite some time blamed herself for not noticing or preventing it, only stopping this behaviour after attending sessions with Juliana.

By the time she was in Grade 11 at Aurora High School, she had stopped seeing the therapist and finally felt that she had moved past what had happened to her. Although she still didn't have any particularly close friends, those she was acquainted with had learned quickly that she could no longer be taken advantage of. The depression, insecurity, and guilt which had plagued her for so long seemed to be gone, replaced with the knowledge that she could finally move on with her life. She spoke to a course counsellor about a career in psychology and began working towards it, studying hard to keep up her grades. Knowing that her mother had little extra money to put aside for college costs she also got a part-time job working at a local bakery, hoarding her savings carefully in preparation for the future. When not at school or working she remained a voracious reader and became a connoisseur of film, often downloading or streaming several movies in a week.

Then, in the summer before her grade 12 year, she received a phone call at work telling her that her mother had been struck by a car. Although the damage wasn't as serious as it could have been her mother still suffered two cracked ribs, a fractured arm, and a concussion. Luckily their insurance was good, but as time went on it became clear that even with time off work Meredith wasn't healing as well as she should -- suffering headaches, dizziness and an inability to concentrate months after the accident. She began showing behavioural changes as well, becoming depressed and irritable and prone to snapping at small things. She went back to work at her receptionist job only shortly before quitting in a fit of irrational anger. After that her depression and apathy rose to new height and Juliana found herself having to act almost as a caretaker for her mother, making sure that she ate and bathed, that she wrote the articles for her journalism work, and that the house stayed tidy and bills were paid. Although often exhausted and frustrated by the work she was putting in now not only at school and work but at home, Juliana felt that in some way it felt right; that she was caring for her mother the way her mother had cared for her. Some days were more difficult than others with her mother's aggression over small issues bringing back painful memories of the past and with it the guilt she'd felt for years as a child, but she forced herself to work past the emotion, knowing that the moment she let herself get swept under again her abuser would have won.

Finally Meredith received a diagnosis of postconcussive syndrome. This came as something of a relief to Juliana who had become frustrated and confused with her mother's behavioural changes as well as worried about the physical symptoms. Unfortunately the diagnosis served only to put a name to what her mother was suffering, being ultimately a condition whose only cure was time. Although the doctor did prescribe antidepressants they weren't particularly effective and Juliana found herself once again dialling the number for her therapist -- this time on her mother's behalf.

Now, towards the end of grade 12, things are finally starting to look up. Juliana's mother is still suffering from PCS but the physical symptoms are waning and Juliana remains optimistic that the therapy sessions are helping with the behavioural ones. Although she's still very much Meredith's caretaker and ensures that the household runs smoothly, she lives in hope that her mother will recover soon and enjoys their quiet evenings together watching movies, a no-pressure pasttime which doesn't require much thought from either of them. Curled up with her mother on the couch, Juliana often feels like a child again, and cherishes their special time together.

At school her grades continue to be good, mainly As and high Bs and although she's now planning a year off to work and take care of her mother she's still got her sights on behavioral psychology. She still has no really close friends, preferring to spend her time at home with Meredith or reading, but has a wide circle of casual acquaintances and is generally known as a tough, no-nonsense kind of girl. Although she still finds that the trauma she suffered as a child can come back to haunt her in unexpected ways (occasional nightmares, feeling panicked around men, feeling guilt for no reason) she has resolved that she'll never again let the events of her past rule her life.

Advantages: Juliana has learned various coping strategies for stress and trauma from her therapy, and knows how to juggle multiple stresses while staying functional.  
Disadvantages: Her history could come back to haunt her with panic attacks at inopportune moments, and she's not physically strong or even particularly graceful, still retaining childhood clumsiness. Her lack of close friends could prove a problem when it comes to making alliances.