Luis "Louie" Valera

look i didn't know this kid existed either until 20 hours ago

Here are characters whose handlers have abandoned them, whose handlers have left the site, or who were, for one reason or another, permanently denied.

Moderator: Critique Staff

Locked
User avatar
Jilly
Posts: 1318
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 3:54 pm
Location: drinking all of your Dr. Pepper

Luis "Louie" Valera

#1

Post by Jilly »

Name: Luis “Louie” Valera
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Grade: 12
School: George Hunter High School
Hobbies and Interests: Rap and house music, video and music production, social media

Appearance: Louie is large, standing at 6'3” with a weight of about 326 lbs. He is very overweight, with a good portion of his constitution being fat that him a pudgy, blobby appearance. He has a tanned skin complexion, mostly due to his father being Puerto Rican. His facial expressions are exaggerated in conversation, and his voice is low-pitched but with a soft tenor.

Louie's face is naturally round, which is made even more apparent due to his weight problems. He keeps his black hair clipped very close to the skin, usually forgoing any guard and just using the blade by itself. His small deep-set brown eyes have a comically thin appearance due to his sloped forehead and bushy eyebrows. His nose is large and upturned, giving him a pig-like appearance. His cheeks are impacted by pockmarks and acne scars, and he has wisps of black facial hair on his chin due to an inconsistent shaving schedule.

Due to his size Louie doesn't have many options for clothes, usually buying or getting them from secondhand sources with fits that vary. As such, his outfits are very basic and employ solid, dark colors. On the day of the abduction Louie was wearing a solid black tee under a light gray button-down left unbuttoned, beige cargo shorts, and solid black sneakers. He also had on a silver cross necklace, a black belt with a nondescript silver buckle around his waist, and a backwards-facing red-and-white baseball cap with the logo for the Fried Boot chicken restaurant etched prominently in the front.

Biography: Louie was born on August 8th, 2000 to Ryan and Debora (née Arnold) Valera at a hospital in Nashville, Tennessee. His mother works as a medical assistant, and his father works as a transportation security officer at the Nashville International Airport. Currently he only lives with his mother; due to continual conflicts between his parents, the pair divorced when Louie was 7. Apart from rare holiday visits, truant child support payments, and sharing the same last name Louie has nothing to do with his father. With the distant attitude and shouting matches that come when he does visit, Louie doesn't particularly care about having a good relationship with his father either. He has no siblings.

Louie had always been overweight since he was very young, even before he left the hospital. Due to genetics, well meaning but misguided intentions by his parents along with themselves already being overweight, and a lack of encouragement for physical stimulation, Louie was noticeably big by the time he entered elementary school. This did not bode well for his initial school experience as other problematic kids used his weight and weak facial aesthetics as a means to bully and humiliate him. With him being a naturally quiet and passive person he chose to try and just ignore these taunts, but ultimately even though he did make a couple of friends the words from those that tried to provoke him stung his already low self-esteem.

It was around this time when music began to have an important role in his life. He especially grew fond of the golden age hip hop and house CDs his mom had, and listened to them daily while sulking in his room as an outlet for his social frustrations. He especially enjoyed groups such as Jungle Brothers and De La Soul for their witty wordplay and positive lyrics, and he loved house groups such as Black Box and Technotronic for their hypnotizing instrumentals and funky vibe. Although he later expanded out into listening and keeping up with more contemporary acts, these older works have been an almost weekly listen for him since first discovering them.

Since around the 5th grade Louie has tried to write his own raps or do his own silly comedy skits, recording his takes with the help of his mother's old digital camera. He would proudly show these takes to her and his friends, and eventually he tried to spruce the production up with adding effects and transitions with Windows Movie Maker that allowed him to make slightly more complex projects.

Near the start of the spring semester in 7th grade, Louie's mother surprised him with the news that they would be moving to Chattanooga at the end of the school year. Her current workplace had decided to close operations by the end of July, but luckily she had found an equal new opportunity in Chattanooga. Louie greatly accepted this move as an opportunity for a new start, and although he was sad to leave his friends he happily moved with his mother in the middle of summer.

With starting a new school for 8th grade, Louie tried to have a positive outlook in regards to making new friends. Being a new kid that was physically larger with an unconventional face proved to be a different challenge than Louie had expected as instead of other kids picking on him, they chose to avoid him. For the first few weeks he wasn't able to say he really had a friend; this changed when he started talking with Emil Van Zandt III. At first they only chit-chatted over common interests like music and television shows but soon enough they were hanging out outside of a school setting more and more, with Louie either watching Emil at the skatepark or helping with his challenge videos if he needed a second pair of hands.

Soon enough Louie became Emil's officially unofficial video editor. After a mishap with Sony Vegas that completely corrupted a skate video they had worked on together, Louie took it upon himself to re-edit the footage and gave it back to Emil for uploading. With the over-the-top sound and visual effects and bizarre jump cuts, it was an instant hit with his fanbase who loved the obnoxious editing and was the highest viewed upload on his account at the time. As such, Emil passed the duties of videotaping and editing his skate compilations and challenge videos over to Louie who was more than happy to help his friend out when he could.

Around sophomore year, Louie became more and more interested in the idea of music production. With a cracked copy of FL Studio and instrument samples ripped off the internet, he got to work making his own loops and beats and eventually even recorded his own verses and covers of others' works with his tinny laptop mic. He regularly uploads these to his SoundCloud where he has marginally success, but is nevertheless proud of putting himself out there more.

For the past couple of years, Louie has tried to create an online presence for his music and his own videos. Apart from his SoundCloud, he is also active on Twitter and YouTube where he uploads his own reviews of films and album releases. Although he does not have a very big following along with a stagnant follower growth for a while now, he just enjoys trying to put himself out there more and appreciates the feedback from his tens of fans. He has committed himself to try and release a new track every week for the full calendar year starting on his 17th birthday, and so far he has kept up with that schedule.

Louie currently has more of a positive reception at school compared to his younger years. He falls into the more alt-aligned crowd of GHHS and interacts pleasantly enough with most others, and most of the time he is found attached to the hip with Emil and is always at his beck and call. As for grades, he hold at a B/C average; he doesn't particularly care about grades or even school, but he puts in enough effort so that he can at least graduate on time. He has no after-school activities, the only obligation he has being his part-time job as a bag boy at a Publix.

After high school, Louie has no clue what he wants to do. For now he plans on going into the workforce in some way or go to a trade school and keep working on his music and video editing as a side hustle.

Advantages: Louie is a people-pleaser and pushover and may do whatever he needs to ensure he is on good footing with his target. He may be able to keep other allied participants in good spirits with his good humor and supportive attitude.
Disadvantages: Louie’s sedentary lifestyle will be detrimental to his longevity in the game with his poor stamina easily winding him after periods of exertion. He also has few noteworthy allies upon entering the game, and being separated from Emil may initially put him in a state of shock.
User avatar
Deamon
Posts: 2326
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:28 pm

#2

Post by Deamon »

Hi Jilly, Louie is a good start but is Denied currently as there are a few edits and changes that need to be made.
Currently, he only lives with his mother;
We need a comma after Currently in this sentence.
Due to genetics, well-meaning but misguided intentions by his parents, along with themselves already being overweight,
Well-meaning needs a hyphen, also I've added a comma after parents and before along to make the sentence flow slightly better as these are two separate items in the list.
but ultimately even though he did make a couple of friends, the words from those
You could do with a comma after friends here.
He especially grew fond of the golden age of hip hop
You're missing Of after golden age here.
and eventually, he tried to spruce the production up with by adding effects and transitions with Windows Movie Maker that allowed him to make slightly more complex projects.
For this part, we need a comma after eventually and to replace the first instance of With with By.

What does Louie enjoy about making his own skits and raps? I'm assuming it's as an outlet for his daily life but whatever the reason is will need to be mentioned within the profile itself.
At first, they only chit-chatted over common interests
Need a comma after first.
his SoundCloud where he has marginally success,
I think you mean marginal here rather than marginally.

Besides using social media as a vector for his own work what else does Louie like about it?
As for grades, he holds at a B/C average;
You missed out the S on holds.

The part about Louie being a people pleaser and pushover in his advantages is interesting but it's not really established much in the profile outside of him being at Emil's beck and call so this will need some expansion.

And that's everything! Once you've made those changes post back here and I'll give Louie another look!
V8
Aracelis Fuentes
California “Cali” Fox
Darryl Smith Jr.
Jessica Romero
[+] V7
G047 - Aliya Kimia Nemati - Blowgun w/ 10 Poison Darts - you're nobody till somebody kills you - "I just wanted to talk." - DEAD
G001 - Arizona Butler - Camping Stove - Dead Bxdies in the Lake Part II - ""We got there eventually." - DEAD
B046 - Bret Carter - Weighted Net - Swerve - "I'll just be on my way and we can all continue with our evenings." - DEAD
G022 - Forrest Quin - Ball-gag and handcuffs - DRUGS SAV3D MY LIF3 - "Abe-" - DEAD
User avatar
Deamon
Posts: 2326
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:28 pm

#3

Post by Deamon »

This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested by the staff.
V8
Aracelis Fuentes
California “Cali” Fox
Darryl Smith Jr.
Jessica Romero
[+] V7
G047 - Aliya Kimia Nemati - Blowgun w/ 10 Poison Darts - you're nobody till somebody kills you - "I just wanted to talk." - DEAD
G001 - Arizona Butler - Camping Stove - Dead Bxdies in the Lake Part II - ""We got there eventually." - DEAD
B046 - Bret Carter - Weighted Net - Swerve - "I'll just be on my way and we can all continue with our evenings." - DEAD
G022 - Forrest Quin - Ball-gag and handcuffs - DRUGS SAV3D MY LIF3 - "Abe-" - DEAD
Locked

Return to “Forfeited and Abandoned Characters”