Revisiting the Past...

[Cactus]

((Continued from: Game Start: Boy #76))

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number since the number one

It had been an indiscriminate amount of time since Adam Dodd had stopped at the Eastern Shore and killed student number four on his list. This, of course, was simply happenstance as it were, for Adam neither wanted to kill, nor needed to, but simply did so in order to save the life of a boy who he had helped in school, ever so long ago.

But was it really that long ago? By my count, it's...fuck, just over half a year? Man, it really was that long ago. That long ago that we all had our innocence, that long ago that we were all alive and accounted for...

As the days ran together, and Adam guessed that the end of the sixth day was nearing, he ran a mental inventory on where he probably stood in the order of length of time awake on the island. Since the people he'd spoken to, both dead and alive, had indicated that they'd all been dropped off at different times (which would have made snese, punctuated by the planes that had kept flying constantly overhead), Adam theorized to himself that he'd likely been one of the first ones dropped off on the island, mainly because the numbers of people who'd been killed off in the first few days seemed to be rather small. He remembered waking up to the sound of the first announcement, and couldn't help but wonder if there was anyone even left alive who'd heard it.

Things were coming right down to the wire, that much, he knew. It had been a long time, it seemed, since he'd been in his group of six, optimistically trying to think of plans to escape the hellish santuary that would be the final resting place for so many of them. And of course, for the rest of his group of six, it had. For Marcus, David, Amanda, Madelaine, and Hawley, the island had eaten them up in the blink of an eye. Stolen their souls, and broken their bodies. It was luck that told Adam that he was still alive, that the island hadn't gotten to him by now. That was all. Luck.

No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
`Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number, worse than two

It had been almost a week that he'd been here, and still, the island hadn't been able to find him, and eat him up, like it had the others. Soulless corpses, were what they'd become, no longer with names and personalities, but simply visages and shells of the people that they'd used to be. In a way, the island was like that villain from Mortal Kombat - Shang Tsung. Stealing the souls of his friends, of everyone that he ever knew. And how to release them? If there even was a way, he'd have to make it to the end, to be the last one left standing, and then plunge a dagger into the heart of the one man who controlled the island, the one man who was a bigger soul-eater than the island itself: Danya.

As Adam Dodd wandered into the burned shell of the Bamboo Coppice, an area that he'd visited a few times before, he couldn't help but notice the corpses littering the area, something he'd noticed the other times he'd been here as well. One was undoubtedly Alan Shinwrath, one of his earlier companions on the island, who'd died in this very spot, shot in the face, if he remembered correctly...

Or was he stabbed, I just can't remember...

It was of no consequence. Such things just didn't matter anymore. The difference about the bodies, that he'd noticed this time, was that he felt nothing for them. Last time he'd been here, he'd been so sorrowful of the fact that so many were dying, and so many were yet to die. It was a terrible thing, he'd thought, and that terrible thing would go on, and on...

...and yet, now? Now he felt nothing. The corpses were simply inanimate objects, not alive, so of no consequence. Sighing, as he looked about the area, Adam tried to remember the last time that he'd slept. It had definitely been awhile, a few days, at least.

I'll sleep when I'm dead. That's what dad always used to say. And of course, here, it's not going to matter if you're sleeping or not, because if you sleep, then they can get to you. What was it that Jesse Ventura said in Predator? I ain't got time to bleed? Well, that's true, too. I don't. I won't. I refuse to. Fuck Danya, and fuck the island. Neither of them are going to get to me, I refuse.

It's just no good anymore since you went away
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday

One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do

As he took another step forward, Adam stumbled over the body of Kichiro Taka, and went head-over heels sprawling onto the ground. As he rolled onto his back, he suddenly stopped, looking up at the sky. Blinking, he cued himself back into reality. The island wasn't stealing anyone's souls. Danya wasn't a soul-eater. No, the island was simply a victim of circumstance, a place so far away from anything even remotely resembling civilization that a group of terrorists had found it appropriate to host their killing game on it. And Danya? Danya was the mastermind of this evil organization, the one face that most of America, and probably most of the world would grow to hate. He was the mastermind, he was the one who was responsible for it all.

Adam Dodd couldn't help but wonder inwardly if he were going crazy. After all, seeing most of your friends die, and killing four people yourself couldn't be good for your inner calm, now could it?

Of course not. But what can you do about it, Dodd? You HAVE killed four people, all of them by your own volition. That's one thing that you can't say about Hawley. He killed people, but some were accidents. You? You pulled the trigger on Marcus, on Blaine, on Shoar, and you slit Jacob's throat. You meant to do it, you meant to be the one who ended their lives. And while it's kill or be killed on this island, that sure doesn't make me feel any better about it, not at all.

They say that it's 'Survival of the Fittest' out here. Well who the hell are they to decide who's fit to survive? It's like they're playing god, in a way. Of course, you know how that ends in every movie that's ever been made regarding the subject - the person who tries to play god gets burned in an unbelievably fucking ridiculous way. So Danya will get his comeuppance, some way, some how.

Just hope that I'm the one to give it to him.

One is the loneliest
One is the loneliest
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do

It's just no good anymore since you went away

As Adam sat up slowly, glancing around the burned coppice, he saw nobody else around, and sighed. Right now was a time that he needed to be by himself to collect his thoughts. There were a lot of things going through his head right now, a lot of things that probably shouldn't be there, and he needed to ensure that by the time he left the coppice, all was right and in a good semblance of order.

It had been hours since Amanda and Madelaine had died, and Adam looked back on it, feeling a twinge (or more like a stab) of despair at the fact that he hadn't been protecting the two girls when they'd died. If only he'd stayed with them, then they'd both still be alive today, and Cody Jenson would be deader than a frog after an encounter with an oncoming vehicle.

"Fuck...Jenson. I almost forgot about him..."

To nobody in particular, Adam broke the silence in the coppice, if only to muse to himself out loud, to still remember the fact that he could still speak. Ever since his outburst at the River, he'd spoken hardly a word, only stopping to nod to Gilbert as he'd saved his life, and wish the boy good luck. Adam knew that Gilbert wasn't long for the game, and likely would be dead by the end of the day, but stranger things HAD happened, and if the boy had any luck at all, perhaps Adam would see him again.

It wasn't something he counted on, seeing those he'd departed again. Jill and Martyn, the other three, Gilbert, Sidney Crosby. He didn't anticipate on seeing any of them alive again, mainly because that's the way that the game was played. He'd strayed from his group before, and he'd been given a second chance to save them, to make amends. In the end though, it'd all been for naught, for he'd been too caught up in his own thoughts to protect those that he'd cared for the most. One mistake had cost him his two best friends, and had almost cost him his sanity.

As far as my innocence goes, that was gone long, long ago...

There was no denying it, for Adam knew that if he ever got out of here, it would take years of therapy for him to get over the events that had transpired. Losing nearly all of his friends would be something that he would never, ever get over, for the way that Adam looked at it, without his friends, he was nothing.

So does that make me nothing? They're all gone, and it's just me, left alive...

But so were countless more students, if he wasn't mistaken, and to survive past all of them - was it even possible? Adam didn't know, and as he pulled himself to his feet, he knew that if it got down to the final four, and he was still around - he knew that he would play, if not to survive himself.

(number)
One is the loneliest (number)
One is the loneliest (number)
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do

Who was going to judge him? There was nobody left on this island whose opinion was crucial to his actions. Sure, there were millions of people watching from home (perhaps even his family) but when it really all came down to it, did it even matter? Who was he trying to impress? Who was it that he was trying to keep this image of 'Adam Dodd, the nice guy who cares about everyone else around him, and would do anything for his friends. The popular, yet humble guy who wouldn't hurt a fly'? Who was it all for? Amanda, the girl that he loved, was gone. Madelaine, Hawley, Lipson, they were all dead, so WHO was he trying to keep it up for? He looked down, and blinked in surprise. The answer was right in front of him, and a grin crept across his face.

The answer, as he began to walk away from the bamboo coppice, was astonishingly clear, and as quickly as the thought came into his head, the rest of his muddled thoughts cleared up as quickly as he'd ever seen. While one may have been the lonliest number, and one was what he was, at this point, he knew that forever, and always, there'd be one person in this entire world who he'd keep up that image for, and he wouldn't fall down, he wouldn't give up to Danya, or to the game.

He was in this for himself, because to lose your sense of self was to lose that which makes you human. Adam Dodd was here, protecting himself, and only himself - the only person he could truly be responsible for. He recalled a lyric from one of his favourite songs from his favourite band, and glanced down at his Audioslave T-shirt, happy that he had at least something to remind him of who he really was.

And even when you've paid enough, been pulled apart or been held up
With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright

You may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

And now, as Adam Dodd walked, head raised high, he knew that one way or another, the game would end in bloodshed. He'd killed already, but no matter what, he would own up and face his actions, rather than hiding from them.

But I refuse, to sit down, and die, and I refuse to let Cody Jenson get away with what he's done. And so I will not rest, until Cody Jenson has been brought to justice.

Here, in the land of Danya, and of SOTF, the only justice - was death, something that Adam Dodd knew that he'd have to try and bring to the rapist and murderer of his friends. It was what he would have done in the real world, and it was what he'd do now. He couldn't help that, for it was just who he was.

To be yourself is all that you can do

[riserugu*]

Who made up all the rules…
We follow them like fools…
Believe them to be true…
Don't care to think them through.

Standing before what was left of the bamboo coppice it almost reminded her off all those movies she had since, with the whole end of the world theme going on. Barren, wastelands of former glory, now nothing but smoldering earth with the corpses of those unlucky few littering the grounds that those who had lived now walked upon. There flesh and bones left out in the wake of horror for the elements and animals to feast upon. Gulping a bit the outlines of a few of those corpses where clean amongst the burnt bamboo, and dead land that the wind would kick up from time to time.

And I'm sorry, so sorry…
I'm sorry, it's like this…
I'm sorry, so sorry…
I'm sorry, we do this.

Gray eyes glanced around about the barren land, turning to look over her shoulder once and awhile to see if Hannah had indeed followed her. Though not seeing the other girl at the moment, Luci sighed and simply kept put in her spot as she began to rock on her feet swinging folding her hands together against her back. Pursing her lips in a thoughtful manner as she stared out into what remained of the coppice in question.

And it's ironic too…
Cause what we tend to do…
Is act on what they say…
And then it is that way.

In the silence of the world about her gave her time to think back to the dirt path again… just the images of what could have befallen that boy flashing into her mind… as the great axe of her’s stuck his neck… ending his life in a single movement. Gulping a bit, the most important thing now was trying to find a way off this island… and finding Ryan as well. It was still stupid to be wishing to wanting to meet up with the boy… but damn it all, that single thought had been what was keeping her going this long time.

And I'm sorry, so sorry…
I'm sorry, it's like this…
I'm sorry, so sorry…
I'm sorry, we do this.

Blinking lightly and what sounded like feet, Luci quickly looked up glancing through the area noting the outline of another figure, though this one was up and moving. Making a soft noise at the sight, she quickly looked around, spotting a near by tree that had been caught in the fire from the coppice but had, and quickly throwing herself behind it away and hopefully out of the other’s sight. Peeking lightly from beyond the side of the tree, she narrowed her eyes trying to focus on the other person in an attempt to see whom they where.

And once the said person did come into view, she almost let out a gasp hadn’t covered her mouth in time. There she was, looking dead at Adam Dodd. She had remembered him vividly from school, remembering seeing him around the when there was a show happening quite a number of times… but now…

Now…

‘He’s a killer… just like the others… you heard the announcements he killed two people. God knows who many there’s been now.’ Pressing back against the tree, she couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her. She had escaped death once from the hands of someone she didn’t, know but what about now… could she do anything against someone she had shared the halls of Barry Coleson with, had some classes together with.

“Please… please… Just don’t find me.” She spoke out to the wind, shaking in place. “Just go away…”

Who are they…
And where are they…
And how can they possibly…
Know all this.
Who are they…
And where are they…
And how can they possibly…
Know all this.

Do you see what I see…
Why do we live like this Is it because it's true…
That ignorance is bliss.

[Cactus]

"...just don't find me..."

Adam Dodd was a lot of things. Most of the time, he considered himself a pretty decent guy. He was a hockey player, and a pretty athletic kind of person. He was a loyal friend, and he tried not to speak a bad word against anyone if he could do so. He was a person that had gone through life, until recently, seeing the good in each and every person, and appreciating every thing that he had. Even more recently, he was a murderer, and a killer. But there was one thing that Adam Dodd was not, and that was deaf. Adam silently prided himself on his hearing ability, being as that poor hearing ran in his family, and for all intents and purposes, he heard better than nearly everyone. He didn't miss much, and as such he knew a lot of the gossip that went around school simply because of the fact that he heard most of it, even when it wasn't being spoken to him personally.

So when a small voice muttered those very words as Adam passed through the Bamboo Coppice, he couldn't help but stop dead in his tracks and slowly turn around, taking one of his pistols out of his pocket as he did. At this point, he'd have to take every single person that came along as a threat.

Of course they're all threats, especially when there's like fifty fucking people left alive. There were like, over one hundred, and now that number's dwindled down. In six fucking days...imagine that. So I'd have to be an idiot not to be wary of anyone, but...

He sighed slightly to himself as he crept back into the Coppice, gun drawn, his eyes scanning the bamboo.

...but there are still people here that aren't playing, and I have to respect that. I don't want to have to do anything that's going to rub on my conscience.

My conscience...

It was surprising; the fact that his conscience didn't upset him more than it did right now. He had killed four people in this game, but his conscience seemed to be able to justify all four of them. Marcus was euthanized. Sure, it was murder, but the poor bastard was suffering too much, it was the humaine thing to do. Blaine had died when Adam had tried to save his friends, save Amanda. He'd done it, but it had seemed to only prolong the inevitable. Shoar was the same thing, he'd been killed when Adam protected Gilbert, a boy he hardly knew, but only because it was the right thing to do. And Jacob...Jacob had tried to kill Adam numerous times, and if Adam hadn't, he probably would have ended up dead himself.

As he stepped into the coppice, he took another look around, and stopped. Considering his options, he decided to do something that he'd done before, and considering the circumstances the previous time - it's been a mistake. This time, he was a lot better armed, and he would be able to catch any movement (he hoped).

"Hello...is someone there? I can hear you..."

[riserugu*]

The silence in the area overtook her again, as she figured he must have walked away though when the sounds of the footsteps where instead getting closer instead of further away… she found herself no more than wanting to curled into herself and just disappear out of sight. But this wasn’t a story book or one of the land of one of the characters she had performed as before, no this wasn’t another play… this was life… her life… Her life could end at any moment, there where no magic potions or spells to bring her life back to her. Once it was done, that was it… She’d become just like every other dead person on this island, killed in the hands of another child no different from you.

Though really, had she herself had much room to talk, she had ended the life of another…

But it had been an accident, right?

"Hello...is someone there? I can hear you..."

Lucinda’s hand quickly found her mouth to silence the sounds wanting to escape, but she knew she couldn’t keep hidden forever. He’d be bound to find her sooner or later, either way she slowly found herself in coming face to face with a killer, a killer who held nothing back… even against those that he had went to school with. Blaine Eno… he’d been a quiet boy, but the star of their track team. And now he was dead, and she picked herself up off the back of the burnt tree, pulling at her blood stained shirt a bit as she turned and walked out from her hiding spot. She now found herself looking into the eyes of that same person who had ended his life…

Her eyes casted downward, noting all the different weaponry that he currently had in with him. ‘Must make those kills so much easier… you can’t get you’re hands dirty with a gun.’ Pressing a hand against the tree itself, she used the other to grip and hold at her daypack.

‘I could very well die in a moment… why am I not running?’

Breathing in none the less, she looked out over the boy once more, placing a shaky smile on her face. “A—Adam… Hello.”

[Cactus]

As a slight crackling noise came from the area a bit in front of him and to the left of where his sight was, he carefully aimed his gun at the tree that Lucinda stepped out of. As he recognized the features on the girl that now stood in front of him, his shoulders relaxed in a bit of a sigh. If he could count on what he knew, Lucinda Garnett was no killer, that much he knew. She'd been the lead in the majority of the plays that he'd seen in his town, and while he'd been in a few of them, she'd never noticed him too much, only ever talking to them when Adam had taken a bit part as a butler in a small play she was in. Somewhat taken aback that she remembered his name, he lowered the gun a little, and smiled slightly.

"Hey...you're a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure."

Adam instantly regretted how the comment sounded, because as he was looking at the seemingly unharmed girl, he realized how 'off-putting' the comment sounded, given current circumstances.

"Er...I mean, uh...well, shit, I mean it's good to see a friendly face. Are you okay?"

[riserugu*]

Lucinda found herself unable to do anything but blink when Adam begun to speak, when she had turned from the other side of the tree to come to face Adam while a gun was pointing toward her. She’d figure that would be all… but he hadn’t done anything, and had instead begun talking to her. But he had still killed those two boys, she figured him to be the same as the other boy she had met on the dirt path. Cold, heartless… but he sounded the same when she had talked to him before. “I… um…” She begun when questioned on how she was, looking her blood stained self over with faint smile, bottom jaw trembling as she fought to summon words forward.

“I’m oka—“ Lucinda began, though as choking sob rocked her body she quickly shook her head. “No… no… I’m so very far from okay, these six days… I’ve come across and seen so much, been through a lot myself.” She spoke, in a swift movement pulling the bag over her and off her shoulders letting it fall to the ground, the large blood-stained axe coming free, as well as some of her other equipment came free from the fall.

Her she was having blamed someone for being a heartless killer, when she not the reason for why he had to do the things he did… and it could have well been the same as her’s. “I killed someone…” She spoke out in a small voice, tears swelling up in her eyes once again. “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to hit him it was just supposed to scare him away to keep him from trying to kill me. I-I God…” She finally sighed, shaking her head, rubbing her eyes some.

[Cactus]

Adam bit his tongue as the girl's composure visibly broke down as he watched. As she confessed to having killed someone, Adam looked at the ground, and sighed softly to himself. She was so broken up, so devastated about the fact that she'd ended the life of another human being...about the same as Adam imagined that he'd been like when he'd killed Blaine. He found it tough to remember, tough to actually peer back in time to that moment, to try and describe the emotion that he had felt at the time.

He knew that now, he felt numb. Blaine's death had done a number on him, just like Marcus, Jacob, and even Shoar. All four were his peers, his students, and now he was no better than those who'd killed because they wanted to. Lucinda had killed - and if she were telling the truth, it had been an accident, and the girl likely felt awful about it. Some people decided to start killing after they had done it once (often by accident), while others were so devastated by that same type of event that they were often never the same therafter.

Sadly, Adam felt that he likely fit somewhere between the two.

I've changed, probably for the worse, and while I feel horrible about what I've done, that doesn't change that I did it again, three more times, and who knows how many other people will die by my own hand by the time that this game is over...?

As he watched Lucinda stammer slightly, he shook his head slightly.

"Hey...look, we've...we've all done things here that I'm sure we aren't proud of. Whether it be deserting a friend, making a decision that got someone killed, or...killing someone yourself...we've all done things here, on this island that'll probably haunt us until the day you die."

Adam frowned. His intentions on making her feel better were getting skewed with every word he tacked on.

"I suppose that all we can do is try and justify the things that we've done, justify the actions that you've performed. Don't try and justify it to anyone else but yourself. If you killed someone but the end result if you hadn't would have been your own death, then...you know what? You're better off for having made that decision...I guess because you're alive."

Adam couldn't help but smirk.

"The past six days sure have fucking SUCKED, haven't they?"

[riserugu*]

She blinked watching him some through tear-stained eyes, blinking back her own tears as he began to talk she lightly nodded, as arms folded about her waist. Suppose in some odd way he was right, Lucinda had to admit she was indeed alive though somewhere in the back of her mind kept picking at her telling her there could have been other ways to go about the situation. Though in the end, Lucinda smiled a little before she found her words to speak,

“It was weird… he had tried to choke me, and I had managed to get away but when I did and I got hold of my weapon. It’s as if instinct began to take over, and I just wanted to survive. In the end, it was he or I… And I choose me…”

Blinking again, she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her as Adam spoke of these last six days she nodding in agreement. “Truth be told, I was hiding the whole time… I was here for a good while, till the place caught on fire, and I almost got caught up in it.” She said, pointing a bit to the small burns on her face and arms from where she had been burned in her escaped, “Messed my hair up a bit too, then I went to the river and ended up running away when I heard people coming. And then I found myself at the hospital, where I saw Aiden, and the Hughes twins. Though someone came along, and kind of messed up the one with the red jersey on, and then the other one got a real bad cut on his arm.”

Frowning though, Lucinda leaned back against the tree, “But before that, that big guy from school Eddie and that Miranda girl had gotten killed by another girl, who later got killed herself. Then the place became a danger zone and I ran again, that’s when I ended up on the dirt path. And that’s where my incident happened…

But how have you been, have you seen anyone else that isn't dead or crazy? Mostly I've been only seeing bodies, like Helena's... Though I keep praying I'm not going to find his... I've been lucky so far though."

[Cactus]

At Lucinda's question, Adam grimaced as a flood of emotion came pouring back into his system. As he did a mental inventory of all of the bodies that he'd come across, or people who had died while he was in the immediate viscinity, he found himself unpleasantly remembering what the corpses had looked like, and the horrible look in the eyes of the dead, some choosing to sadly accept their fate, others didn't even know it was coming.

Like Amanda...

Grimacing again as a pain of sorts went through his body, Adam realized that it was not a physical pain, but rather the anguish that he'd kept hidden inside, stuffed so far beneath the surface that he'd almost forgotten about it. It was a pain unlike no other, the pain of someone who saw so much death, and actually gave a shit.

The ground came rushing at his face at a rate that he didn't expect, so quickly that he hardly had time to put his hands up to brace himself from the fall. His knees had given out so suddenly that it had hardly taken time to register in his mind that he had fallen. Putting his hand to his face, he wiped his eyes, trying to expunge the images from his head. He could do nothing but simply speak out loud to the likely shocked girl standing before him.

"There've been....so many...so many fucking bodies, and so many people...so many that I've seen die. Alan Shinwrath, Venka Rapler - right here in this fucking place. Terry Woodward, August Masbeth, I saw them - watched them die. I watched River Garraty kill himself, and then I watched Hawley Faust bleed to death. I watched him die, and there was not a goddamn thing that I could do. I couldn't even tell he was bleeding until it was too fucking late. Blaine Eno, well, I saw him go from living to dead, mainly because of the fact that I fucking killed him myself. He was about to kill Amanda, and I couldn't...I couldn't...and then Marcus...god damn, poor Marcus...he was in such agony, and I ended it for him, but...but what does that make me, aside from a murderer? I was trying to do him a goddamn favour...

But of course, it couldn't end there. Not only had I lost a close friend, but no, I wasn't even getting started yet. Then another one got raped. Yeah, RAPED. What'd I do? Fucking nothing. Nothing at all, because I didn't even know it was happening! And of course, the hits just kept on coming. Jacob Starr, yeah, THE Jacob Starr. He's dead. He's dead, and you know why? Becuase I fucking killed him, that's why. He tried for a whole day to kill me, and failed, and then I killed him. I slit his fucking throat. I cut his throat and moved on. Found good ol' Gilbert, and I shot the person who was attacking him. A good dead, I suppose. I saved his life. I saved his life, but why the FUCK could I not save HERS? WHY? HOW DID I LET AMANDA DIE? SHE WAS THE ONE FUCKING PERSON...THE ONE THAT I CARED ABOUT MOST OF ALL. I WOULD HAVE GIVEN MY LIFE FOR HER..."

Adam let the tears roll down his face as he clenched his eyes closed, and then suddenly opened them, looking right at Lucinda, the look chilling her to the bone.

"...but I fucked up. I rested, and she died. So now, I've got nothing left. Everyone I cared about is dead, and the one person in this world I loved, she's dead too. She's dead and all I can think about, aside from how much I miss her, is killing the sick fuck who ended her life. That's the only thing that's driving me."

Pulling himself to his feet, he wiped his eyes one final time, his red eyes looking at the ground, but then moving to Lucinda one final time.

"So for all the things I've done...does that make me a bad person?"

Finally, he said nothing at all.

[riserugu*]

She found herself focused on Adam again when he at first didn’t respond, a frown pressing against her lips as she thought that maybe she had said something wrong. And watching him, Lucinda saw as something flashed across his face, an almost pain like flash of emotion, and before she could question on his state she let out a gasp as he fell against the ground. Knees giving way, and sending the taller man down, Luci moving quickly and dropping onto her injured knees with small finch of pain as she placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder, “Adam, are you—“

But as he began to talk, she went as the hand resting on the other’s shoulder went limp as he went through the names that he spoke of… all those who had died… or he had seen dead… or even those he had killed.

Alan…

August…

Terry…

Blaine…

Hawley…

River…

As he went on talking, telling her of his killing of Jacob, and another boy named and another boy who had been attacking Gilbert, the image of a boy from school flashing in her mind, but as he went along she found her hand completely falling from his shoulder. Amanda…that was right, the girl had went to there school as well, the vice-president’s daughter. She had remembered seeing her around school, and at least at one of the auditions for one of the plays at school.

Her name hadn't been on the last announcement… but in the course of that short time had been killed. And the other friend, the one that had been raped in the course of the game and then killed a chill passing over her form as she hugged her arms about her form. The thoughts of such happening where almost horrifying to think about with a wave of sickness washing over her, gulping a bit both back the sickness and the thoughts. But when Adam turned his eyes on her, another chill ran through those this one in the slight fear she was feeling again.

Isn’t wasn’t the same as what she had felt before when she had first saw him in the swirls of kicked up ash and dirt of the coppice, no this was something else. Another kind of fear, as if she watching someone loose themselves to them themselves, and she couldn’t do a thing to help. And as he rose to his feet, she remained against the ground still hugging herself as she stared down at the blackened earth. “Adam… I don’t think that’s a question you should be asking me…

That’s a question you should ask yourself, the loss of a loved one can make a person do a lot of things. But, how do you think Amanda would feel to see you doing this? To see you in such a state, you really think she’ll be happy knowing that you’re doing nothing but blaming yourself because you think it’s your fault she died. I’m not going to say you’re wrong, I’m not going to tell you how to go on. That’s something you need to decide for yourself, it’s just… it’s rather heartbreaking to see you like this, you where so cheerful and carefree… and alive when I talked to you at practice for the play that day. You’re a very strong person who I always looked up too because I could never be as open about things as you, I had always, and still do want to become better friends with you, but first you need to sort out what you’re feeling, and what you’re doing now.

I hate to say this, but from what you’ve told me… if you keep going on like this… You’re going to die, or be killed.”

[OnceForgotten*]

Continued from the dirt path

Hannah's first sight when reentering the coppace was Lucinda conversing with a boy. Hannah had definatly lagged back when walking here, knowing what would greet her upon her return. She cast hair from her eyes nonchalontly, trying to hide the fact that her eyes still seemed to be leaking tears of terror and remorse. As she walked closer, she noticed the boy seemed to be crying. Looking him up and down, she took in his red hair, the dirty cloths, and the haunted look in his eyes. He had obviously seen the worst side of the Island since he came here.

Hannah really did not know what to say. She could try to comfort the boy, but she knew that it probobly would do more harm than good, as he seemed to be the kind of person who would not respond well to random sympathy. Hannah instead walked next to Lucinda, hearing the last bit of the boys speech.

Amanda...A girl that Hannah was unfamiliar with. The boy seemed to be in serious emotional distress over it, and Hannah felt a sort of cold detachment to the entire situation.

So many people I dont know...Already dead. I wonder, If I had met this Amanda girl...Would we have been friends? What did she look like? What were her likes and dislikes? Did she share such strong feelings for this boy?

So many questions that would never be answered. Hannah shifted weight to her other foot, continuing to stay out of the conversation. She figured that it was better to let this boy have his say.

[Cactus]

Adam sighed and wiped the last of the tears away from his face, looking up at the sky and the clouds that seemed to loom all over the area. In a sense, he agreed with everything that Lucinda had said. She made some very good points, especially for the fact that he'd been happy and optimistic such a short time ago, and now...

...well, now I'm not exactly the life of the party...

And yet, he realized that he'd undergone a transformation of sorts throughout his time here, one that was potentially unreversable. While he'd still be Adam Dodd, no matter what happened, his outlook on things, and the way that he percieved things had changed, and he didn't know if things would ever be the same. As he glanced over at the other girl who'd silently made her way into the clearing, he noticed that she didn't appear to be making any sudden moves, almost as if she didn't want to alarm anyone (namely, him). For the time being, that was fine, for he had to explain himself a little bit more.

"Yeah, I understand that the path I'm walking down, well...it probably ain't the best, but that's the thing. Here on this island, it's almost like we're at the end of civilization, and our time is winding down. Let's face facts...most of us are going to be dead by the end of next week, and so it basically means that while we're here, our actions go unpunished. But goddamn, one of my close friends was raped and murdered, and the other one shot, both by the same fucking guy. So if I didn't find him and avenge them both, I'd feel as if I weren't doing my duty as a friend.

I'm not usually a really big advocate of vigilantism. I'm usually a pretty easygoing kind of guy. I like to think that not a lot gets me down. But being here, on this island, in the custody of some fuckface terrorist, well...it makes me reexamine what's important and what I care about. My friends...my friends are...were the main thing. And now, most of 'em are gone. Almost all of the hockey team's dead. River, Eddie, Andrew Lipson. Who knows what's become of the Hughes brothers...and my other close friends, Amanda...even Hawley, and Madelaine. All of them are dead. I've got basically nobody left. All I can really do is try and survive, the only way that I know how. But before I can focus on trying to survive, trying to escape, I have to make sure that Cody Jenson, that he doesn't. I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

Sighing, he looked up at the sky again.

"I just hope that if my friends are looking down on me, that they understand why I have to do what I have to do. I can't let his actions go unpunished, I can't. Maybe most of America, most of the world is watching. Hell, I don't know who watches these cameras. But damnit, Madelaine and Amanda deserve justice, and that's just what I'm going to try and give them."

[riserugu*]

Watching as the boy spoke from her place along the ground, she couldn’t help the ever so soft smile on her face as she slowly pushed himself up into a standing position, bending at her waist to brush away some of the dirt on and against her knees. Flinching as her hand brushed along the exposed wounds on them, before she looked up at Adam the smile keeping.

"Even with all of what I’ve said – I still believe you’re a very strong person Adam, you’ve been through a lot these past few days. You’ve lost classmates, teammates, friends, and a person you loved at yet you’re still willing to fight for their sake even though they’re gone.

You’ve kept on going, I can’t tell you how many people would have probably given up… I know if the person on this island I care about so much had died early in this game, and I had heard, I can promise you I probably wouldn’t be here right now…

The fact that he could still be alive is what has kept be going this whole time, it’s silly, I know. But… it’s just how my mind’s been working with me. And it’s worked so far, so I can’t complain about, huh? But you don’t have to worry, though I highly doubt you would have listened to me if I had said anything. I won’t try and stop you from doing what you need to do, no matter how wrong it may seem in some people’s eyes. I still look up to you, you still continue to have a strong heart even in the darkest of times.

You're a good person, I believe that at this moment what you have planned on doing is a good thing none the less.”

Blinking some at the sight of Adam glancing off a bit, she turned her head smiling a bit at the sight of Hannah. “I wouldn’t worry about her, she’s a friend."

Smiling brightly for the first time since she had arrived on this place, Lucinda reached up placing a hand on Adam's shoulder in a comforting manner. "Let me tell you something though, Mama used to always tell me when I was little that I have nothing to fear in life because not only was I protected here, my loved ones that had passed on before me where always around to protect me from harm's way as well. Adam I believe this is true in all of us, if you continue to trust and love your friends even though they're gone, they'll protect you...

You're friends loved you in life, they love you now too I bet. And because they're your friends, they probably understand better than anyone what's going through your head. Though they've passed on, truly though they continue to live on." At this point, her hand dropped, she using a finger to lightly poke at an area of his chest right over his heart. "They continue to live on right there, in meeting those people alone you took a part of them into yourself. Becoming friends made that even stronger, and that little piece of them will always be there.

Be it their laughter, their sorrow, their anger, their love or everything in between, it's all right in your heart now. And unless you let them die in there, they're really not dead at all...

Stepping away a bit, she twisted in her footing to put her back to him as she casted a look toward the darking sky. "I bet they're watching right now."

[Cactus]

Adam couldn't help but grin as he listened to Lucinda. She definitely had some great points, and Adam knew that she was a smart girl. Perhaps not the kind of person he would have hung out with much in school, but definitely someone who knew what she was talking about. At least, he figured as much.

There are people who you wouldn't expect to come up with words of widsom, and sometimes they'll come up with them in the most inane of circumstances, in the most ridiculous of times. I'd say this is probably a pretty ridiculous time...

As Danya's newest announcement went off from seemingly everywhere and nowhere, Adam tensed up and stopped to listen.

Forty people left...my god...the Hughes brothers, both dead...

Adam then furrowed his brow. Danya had left out his killing of Shoar Wilson, a fact that struck him as odd. Danya wasn't one to make mistakes, this was something that Adam knew.

He's got such an airtight operation, and nobody can get through it, not to him, and can't touch him. Yet he forgets such a thing as a simple death...weird...maybe...just maybe there IS a way to get to him after all...

"I wouldn't doubt that they're watching me, looking down on me. But I've always been the kind of guy who - you mess with my friends, and you mess with me. Well...you kill my friends, and a little part of me died along with them. I'm pretty sure it's what they'd want me to do...stick up for them. I just can't believe that it's pretty much down to the wire, and they're gone, and I'm still here. Forty people...jeez...

This is definitely the spot where people who weren't playing decide to, just so that they can survive..."

[riserugu*]

“They’re probably very happy because you’re doing this for them even though they’re gone… you’re doing something good in their name, that’s nice.” Luci muttered lightly with a frown, and a shake of her head, perking up some as the announcements began. Listing off the dead from the latest day of the game, her frown growing as it came to mention the deaths of quite a few that she knew, including the Hughes twins. Her body twisting a bit to glance toward Adam again;

“This game is coming down to the wire, this is where a lot of people are going to come to notice if they don’t kill… they won’t be able to go home.”

Her attention fluttered over to where her daypack had fallen; eyes floating over the details of her axe… she knew she’d probably use it again against someone. It was either that or she’d be dead before long – though the question was could she bring it out against someone again? The person she had used against before she didn’t know… would she be able to swing that toward one of her classmates? Someone she knew…

Sighing, Lucinda moved onto her knees, collecting the items that had fallen from her bag. Standing up after a moment, allowing the axe to rest at her side the end pushed against the ground. Lifting her free hand to brush along through her hair, “People are going to start becoming desperate to live, this where we all need to learn, all of us aren’t getting off this island thirty-something more of us will die before this ends. We all to decided… will it be me, or them that dies in end.