Where You Are

[Primrosette]

((Jonathan Meyers continued from Énouement))

Jonathan could only stare down at the grave that he had actually dug with his own hands with a hollow expression present on his slightly muddy face and he couldn't believe that he had actually buried Declyn in a real grave. It all felt so unreal to him but he really was looking at an official burial that he did without even thinking about it and it had taken him hours to do so. He remembered that it had started to get a little darker after he had sat there for so long with Declyn coddled up in his aching arms. He didn't know if Declyn had wanted to be buried like this but he felt like he owed it to the other boy who had given Jonathan a purpose to live and it was honestly the only way he could have done something nice for him. He knew that Declyn liked nature and he felt like this was the right thing to do.

"Declyn, I...."

Jonathan found himself looking at his hands, staring hard at the bandaged that were wrapped around both of them. He remembered that his fingernails had been broken and bleeding from how he had dragged up the dirt without even caring if he was hurting himself and he knew that he shouldn't had been so careless. But all he could do was cry and continue to dig for hours on end. Now he knew that it was possibly very early in the morning and he knew that he was feeling hungry and thirsty. He stared at the carving of words that he had clumsily done on the tree in front of him and Declyn's grave. He had put some flowers around the grave in a neat manner. He hoped that Declyn would have liked it.

The words that were carved were:

Declyn Grayson-Anthis
rests here.
Please let him rest in peace.
Do not disturb this grave.
- Jonathan Meyers

Jonathan remembered how he had carried Declyn's body to the lake before he had buried the boy and he went back to his dufflebag that had been with the other bodies (he knew that he should have given them better burials but.... He couldn't do it alone. Burying Declyn had mentally broke him enough as it is). He had gotten out a clean black t-shirt, black boxers (of course, he wasn't going to bury the other boy in dirty underwear) and a set of black jeans and then he went back to where he had laid Declyn by the water. Then he had started to get to work by undressing Declyn's corpse (hoping that Declyn's father would never have to see him in such an indecent matter), he had been pained when he had seen the gunshot wound that Myles had caused the poor boy who hadn't deserve a fate so cruel and then he had clean Declyn to make him more presentable. Jonathan didn't know for who when he had redressed the boy with his own clothes and he had carried Declyn back to give him a proper burial.

Are you okay with what I have done for you, Declyn? What am I supposed to do about Emmett? Am I supposed to go after Myles for some avenging? I honestly feel... lost.

"I.... I need to be clean...."

Jonathan glanced at Declyn's grave with a heavy feeling of how much he wanted to apologize for not telling him about Myles being such a manipulating person and how he should have stopped Declyn from going off with the untrustworthy guy. He reluctantly moved away from the hollow grave and he took slow steps over to his bags once more. He got out some space clothing for himself (everything was black clothing again, this time he was going to wear a black hoodie and his shirt had another skull with a snake coiling around the skull on it), he actually had a bottle of shampoo on him (okay, he had kind of "borrowed" the shampoo from the hotel so it wasn't that big of a deal) and he went back to the lake once again.

He had stripped completely naked, not caring if the whole world saw his butt or his dick. He then remembered that dick contest back at the hotel room and he knew that that had been a weird event to do. He honestly and strangely wished that he could go back to that time as he made himself go into the water and he felt like he just wanted to duck his head under and never resurface again.

You can't give up now, Jon. You have to keep going. You need to actually do something for a change. Good or bad, it honestly didn't matter any more. Just keep going forward. For all those people who have died....

Jonathan was refreshed and redressed after fifteen minutes or so and his head was still quite a bit wet and was now smelling minty thanks to the hotel's shampoo. Not that it mattered that much to him and he knew that there were bigger problems that he had to worry about. Emmett....

I really do have to stop him from going on a crazy rampage and then pointlessly killing himself.

"Emmett, you foolish idiot."

Jonathan was now getting all of his belongings together and he spotted a lone bag near a tree. His chest tightened at the sight of it as he knew that it was Declyn's bag and he knew that he couldn't leave it there. Jonathan wandered over to the lonely bag when he had his bag and dufflebag on his person and he picked it up, staring at it with blurry eyes. He couldn't start crying again so he blinked away the tears and he sniffled a little. He never thought that he would break from that, but then he had and now he was going to have to live for as long as he could.

If I want to get revenge on Myles....

He slung Declyn's bag over his shoulder.

I will have to go after someone that Myles cares deeply about....

He then picked up the chainsaw with a sense of ease.

Ivy....

He then went over to his bike and he didn't get on it to ride it. He just begin to walk with it by his side and he glanced back once more at Cecil, Drew, Adonis and Lorenzo. He felt more sad over leaving them out in the open but it was all that he could have done and now he was saying goodbye to them. Even if some of them did have flaws and have made mistakes on the island. Jon was about to do some things that he was going to regret but there was no way that he could back out of it now.

Stop Emmett... Kill Ivy... Continue to survive... This is all that I can do now...

He glanced back at Declyn's grave one last time.

"Goodbye, Declyn."

((Jonathan Meyers continued elsewhere))