Jenny Farrow

[PlatFleece]

Name: Jenny Farrow
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Grade: 12th
School: John Endecott Memorial Academy
Hobbies and Interests: Basketball, Competitive Gaming, Reading

Appearance: Jenny is 5'6" tall and weighs 150 pounds. She has long brown hair, which she often keeps tied in a ponytail. She has brown eyes and is fair-skinned. Due to her frequent training sessions, her body is also athletically built for an average high school girl.

On the day of the abduction, Jenny was wearing a blue T-shirt decorated with the school team's logo, a white jacket, blue jeans, and red and white sneakers.

Biography: Jenny Farrow was born to Andrew and Rosalia Farrow. Her father was an elementary school basketball coach, but retired when Jenny was seven years old. Her mother is an elementary school teacher, teaching mathematics from fifth to sixth grade. Having gone to the same workplace in their environment, the two of them met, had a relationship for three years, and got married soon after.

Being raised by parents who both worked as schoolteachers, Jenny was expected to perform and excel well in most of her subjects, and was conditioned to this kind of behavior by her parents. Her mother would give her extra tasks and work that her teachers did not assign to her in order to better her knowledge compared to her peers, and her father would focus on her athletic studies, specifically basketball. As a result of this, Jenny's test scores were consistently above average, and she was often considered to be a star player during her elementary school days.

Such competitive environments also had their fair share of troubles for Jenny. She did not have a perfect record. When she made mistakes or failures, her parents would often punish her, the punishments often restricted what Jenny could do, and required her to improve herself. As a result, there weren't many times in her elementary school years where Jenny successfully cultivated a close circle of friends.

The pressure to perform well academically and athletically affected other areas in Jenny's life as well. Jenny has a record of being competitive at anything she tries to pursue, which led her to try out for multiple other sports, though she is much more suited to basketball. When Jenny does not excel in something, she often prefers to make the quick decision to withdraw from the activity before committing to it. This made it so that Jenny feels as though she is always under pressure to succeed, which resulted in her seeking out other outlets for her relaxation. Something that she found in both online multiplayer games, where she can remain anonymous while still enjoying the thrill of the competitive aspects of the sport, and in reading novels. A pastime she did not expect to show interest in.

Although her father retired from coaching when she was fairly young, that didn't stop him from continuing to train Jenny. As she was expected to be a star player by both of her parents, alongside her elementary school sporting experience, Jenny had high expectations of herself as an athlete. When she joined the basketball team at John Endecott, she hoped that she would be able to become the one star player they needed to take the school basketball team higher in the ranks. Unfortunately for Jenny, that turned out not to be the case.

The status of the basketball team has been a source of contention for Jenny, who expresses extreme confidence in her own abilities, but is conflicted by the team's poor performance, and lack of change after Jenny joined the team. This has caused extreme tension between her and her teammates, and frustration throughout her high school life. This, combined with the lack of socializing experience, has made Jenny difficult to approach at times by her other classmates. That being said, Jenny has shown deep respect to anyone who wishes to excel at their very best, and who is as competitive as her in this regard.

At school, she often juggles the need to keep her grades above the average score and her efforts at improving her basketball team's performance. She does not seek to socialize as often, except with people who happen to be related to her circles, such as schoolmates sharing a project, or members of the basketball team. She takes few breaks from these activities, and normally unwinds down at home or at the local library, where she would spend time playing some video games or reading novels respectively. Even so, she still keeps up her studying and training in her home life, often to a degree that is more than should be necessary.

Advantages: Jenny's physical and competitive nature would lend herself well should she treat the need for survival as another form of competition, and her experiences of being pressured to the limit has given her ways to cope with high-stress environments.
Disadvantages: Jenny has very little experience socializing. She is known to have strained relationships with team members due to her insistence of pushing her own form of self-improvement on them. The lack of leisure time may also force Jenny into pushing her body and mind far beyond what she would be capable of.

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Hello Plat! Before Jenny can be given a full critique, please make sure that her profile fully matches the template. Specifically, you have a line break between the Advantages and Disadvantages that shouldn't be there. Thanks!

[PlatFleece]

Edited!

[MK Kilmarnock]

Hey, Platfleece! Sorry to keep you waiting, but Jenny has finally (FINALLY) been critiqued! She's currently denied pending some small changes, but I have to say I really enjoy this character and felt a little bed for her pushing so hard in the sinking ship that is JEM's basketball team. Not to mention, reading through this and getting to the part where she quits soon after not immediately excelling at something made me quietly mutter 'same, Jenny, same' at my computer. Anyway, let's get to the critique so Jenny can be complete.

Oh, quick thing: Is her full first name actually Jenny or is it Jennifer? If it's Jenny, just say so in your response, the profile doesn't need to make a note of it. While unusual, people do have diminutive first names sometimes (like I've met a Rick whose full name was just 'Rick', not Richard). Okay on to the REAL critque:

Jenny needs a bit more in the appearance section. Is her hair straight, curly or wavy? Can I have some descriptions of her facial features (face shape, cheeks, nose, lips, chin, ears, just some examples), along with how she might normally dress or variances in her style? The abduction outfit is a good inclusion but is typically preceded by more general fashion.

Remove the comma after ‘basketball coach’.

Having gone to the same workplace in their environment > This phrasing is somewhat awkward. I think removing the ‘in their environment’ would suffice, but you could also just rewrite it as ‘Sharing the same workplace’ or ‘Having worked at the same school’

Being raised by parents who both worked as schoolteachers > Her father’s just a coach though, isn’t he? Or maybe he’s also the PE teacher. If he’s the PE teacher as well, disregard.

excel well in most of her subjects, > you can remove this comma

When she made mistakes or failures, her parents would often punish her, the punishments often restricted what Jenny could do, and required her to improve herself. > What failures were her parents punishing her for, and what were the punishments? Like, I hope she wasn’t being sent to bed without supper for losing a basketball game or something. Elaboration here would be very helpful.

Something that she found in both online multiplayer games, where she can remain anonymous while still enjoying the thrill of the competitive aspects of the sport, and in reading novels. > This is actually an incomplete sentence; you want to either merge this with the previous sentence or slightly tweak the beginning (‘She found such outlets in both online…’). In addition, what games does she enjoy playing competitively?

A pastime she did not expect to show interest in. > Same issue as before, this is a sentence fragment. That being said, I would love to know much more about Jenny’s love for reading novels. Why didn’t she expect to show interest in it? What DOES make her so interested? What does she most prefer to read? I feel like it might be implied in the profile that her reading is a relaxing escape from the more ‘go go go’ competitiveness that colors much of her life, so taking that from an implicit to explicit would be great!

team's poor performance, and > you can nix this comma

She takes few breaks from these activities, and > same

unwinds down at home or at the local library > unwinds at home or down at the local library

What are Jenny’s aspirations after graduating, if any?

Advantages are good. I think I know what you’re going for with “The lack of leisure time may also force Jenny into pushing her body and mind far beyond what she would be capable of” but could be framed differently for clarity. Such as saying that without any opportunities to unwind, Jenny’s stress could easily get the better of her and push her too far. (The way it is right now makes it sound like she could push her body and mind beyond her normal capabilities, which is advantageous-sounding but not what you meant.)

[MK Kilmarnock]

This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested by the staff.