Louay Al-Dabbaq

in honour of the super bowl I submit my football kid

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Applesintime
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Louay Al-Dabbaq

#1

Post by Applesintime »

Name: Louay Al-Dabbaq
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: Senior
School: Southwest Red Rock High School
Hobbies and Interests: American football, association football, sneakers, video editing

Appearance: Louay stands at a tall 6’2” and weighs about 190 pounds. He has a lean, almost lanky build. Most of his muscle is concentrated on his lower body and core, particularly his long legs. He is Arab, with olive skin and a permanent tan.

Louay has an oblong face, with thick bushy black hair styled into a faded quiff. His eyebrows are similarly bushy and straight, covering small brown eyes. He has a Grecian nose, thick lips and small ears prominently sticking out. He has low cheekbones and a soft chin with a slight stubble, the result of using an electric razor to shave.

Louay has a surprisingly soft voice for someone his size, with a slight Nevadan accent. His manner of speaking is slow and deliberate, carefully choosing his words, a holdover from when he wasn’t good at speaking English and needed to concentrate on the correct wording.

As a big sports fan, Louay’s wardrobe consists of some Las Vegas Raiders and Real Madrid merchandise, but he generally gravitates towards shirts with short sleeves and breathable pants. He is a big fan of sneakers, having several pairs that he tries to match with his outfit for colour coordination.

Biography: Louay was born in Idlib, Syria on the 26th of November, 2006 to Khalid and Layal Al-Dabbaq, née Edwan. His father worked as a general surgeon at an Idlib hospital, while his mother stayed at home and looked after the children. The two had been introduced by their families and quickly fell in love, marrying in 1999. He has two siblings; a brother Adham, born in 2002 and a sister Noor, born in 2004.

His early childhood was often spent with the other children of the apartment block in which their family lived, playing football in the streets with makeshift equipment. Khalid was a fan of Real Madrid, and one of the earliest bonding activities that Louay had with him was the family going to a cafe full of supporters to watch matches. The comradery and atmosphere left an impression on him, and Louay found himself wanting to emulate his football heroes.

At his age, Louay was already athletic, able to outplay most of his friends with ease whenever they played. He wasn’t particularly fast or nimble, but he had a powerful kick that meant he scored most goals for whatever team he played on. His preferred position was a centre-forward like his favourite player, Raúl.

The family also attended the local Sunni mosque regularly — at his young age, Louay was more interested in the stories and tales the imam told than the actual religious factor, but still found a degree of peace knowing that there was someone watching over him at all times and ensuring he would be rewarded for good deeds. He was a bright child, reading through the local library’s collection of children’s books as soon as he could.

The Al-Dabbaq family weren’t very involved in politics — Khalid was a member of the Ba’ath party, but only as it afforded him social and professional advantages, and otherwise didn’t particularly care for politics. Even still, they could not avoid the political turmoil sweeping through the region as part of the Arab Spring. As protestors were met by gunfire and repression, Louay was kept as unaware of it as possible, although it was taking a toll on his parents — Khalid had to treat many patients who were injured by security forces, and seeing his own government doing that to its citizens was taking its toll. He also worried about some of his friends from university who were working in Daraa, the city where the protests and crackdown had been fierce.

As a result, Khalid was under a lot of stress, and even if he tried to keep it out of their family life, the toll it was taking was still evident. He became distant for a time, using his faith as a coping method for the horrors he had seen and attending mosque several times a day, leaving Layal to take care of their three children alone. While his older brother Adham helped with chores and caring for Louay and Noor as much as he could, this took its own toll on her, leaving her tired and sullen.

Despite this, life continued as normal as it could be for Louay. Even with their emotional stress the family did their best to conceal the situation from him, although he still heard disjointed fragments about the situation from his friends while they were playing football together. His first year of primary school education started — although as usual, Louay was more interested in playing football and arguing with his classmates about which teams were better. When he put his mind to it, he was a bright student, but generally the social aspect of school appealed to him more than the educational aspect. Louay found it easy to make friends, being cheerful and easy to get along with.

The war soon became impossible to ignore, as fighting soon spread from the rural towns of Idlib province to within the city itself, which was soon taken by rebel forces. Louay was kept in their home and safe when not at school, as his father had heard stories of government holdouts remaining in the city that killed indiscriminately and worried about his family being in danger. The sounds of gunfire were common and it kept Louay awake at night, afraid that the fighting would come closer. Food was also becoming increasingly more expensive with shortages and inflation — they had some modest savings prior to the war, but they burned through it quickly. Sometimes before Khalid had been paid for his job their parents would go hungry so they could eat, which made Louay feel guilty.

A few months later, in March of 2012, the government launched a counterattack on the city with heavy weapons. Artillery pounded down on the city indiscriminately, some impacting near their apartment building, while heavy gunfire could be heard throughout the day. Louay’s school was badly damaged in the fighting, and the hospital Khalid worked at became clustered with victims, both civilian and soldier. Louay was badly affected by this, believing that they would be killed and jumping at every little bang and creak from their apartment.

In the face of the violence and his children’s reaction, Khalid decided that Idlib — and Syria as a whole — was no longer a safe place to raise his family, and for their sake they had to leave for someplace safe. Under cover of night, a few weeks later when the fighting had died down, the family fled Syria in a convoy of other refugees, seeking refuge over the border in Turkey, the closest country. Upon arrival, they were processed by Turkish authorities in a refugee centre and sent to a refugee camp near the Syrian-Turkish border.

The conditions in the camp were initially better than back home. There was governmental and international assistance to make sure that refugees had all that they needed, even if their new homes were temporary shelters. The Turkish government and the UN were helping to provide education, meaning that Louay could get back to his education in a safe environment where it wouldn’t be disrupted. For a time, it all seemed perfect, even if Louay wasn’t happy about it. He missed his home a lot, and the occasional outbursts of violence and gunfire they could hear from over the border would make him freeze up or start crying, overwhelmed. Khalid tried to get some help for him, which was initially successful at helping him develop coping mechanisms.

However, over the months and years they stayed there the camp started to become crowded. More and more refugees were fleeing the civil war, and the aid agencies were starting to become overwhelmed with the amount of people they had to provide for. This meant less help for Louay, education becoming overwhelmed with more students and less food on the table. To help provide for his family Khalid had to find work in whatever field he could find, which tended to be under the table work such as working at farms or construction. His Syrian medical degree didn’t transfer over to the Turkish medical system so he effectively had no qualifications, and the process for applying for citizenship was slow.

A stroke of luck came when Khalid heard about a program that granted refugees with medical qualifications refuge in Europe or America, partnering with a hospital to ensure they had a job in the field as well as helping them with the transition. Given Louay’s apparent trauma and the lack of qualified therapists to help him, as well as the slowly deteriorating conditions of the camp, it seemed like the best option was to apply and hope he was accepted. In advance, he began taking English lessons with a program at the camp and encouraged his family to follow suit, although Louay found it very difficult to try and learn another language on top of his education.

A few months after applying, Khalid was selected for the program. He had expected to go somewhere in Europe, and was a little disappointed to find he was going to Las Vegas instead; he was concerned about the small Muslim community there and had hoped to go somewhere with a stronger community. Nonetheless, he had no other options and so the family prepared to go to their new home in Las Vegas. Louay was of mixed feelings about this change; he didn’t like the refugee camp anymore, but moving across the world to a country he barely knew anything about was scary.

The Al-Dabbaq family moved a few months later in the early summer of 2015, when Louay was eight. The move was timed to allow their kids to acclimate to the country and get a better grasp of the English language before school started. Over the few months he had been learning at the refugee camp Louay had picked up the basics of the language but he was still very hesitant to use it, preferring his native Arabic and defaulting to it if he didn’t know how to express what he wanted to say in English. But now that he needed to use it, his English improved over time.

Out of all of them, Louay struggled with the move most. Getting used to what things were like in America — a place so radically different from the refugee camp that he had spent the last two years in — was tough enough even without the additional trauma he had. Loud bangs startled him to an excessive degree and he had a habit of hoarding food, rationalising that if it was too expensive then he would be able to eat without making his parents have to go without as well. This behaviour combined with frequent nightmares worried his parents. Khalid wanted to take him to see someone, but he was busy with his own transition at his new job and didn’t have the time to seek a therapist.

Once he got back into school, he was enrolled into ESL classes in addition to the usual curriculum. Being in a completely unfamiliar environment where he didn’t know the language well and being surrounded by people who had known each other for a while, Louay was shy and withdrawn. He missed his old friends in Syria and the camp who he could talk about football with — most people at his elementary school were into other sports and didn’t know much about association football, although there were some kids into Major League Soccer that he made friends with.

One of his friends was also a player in a youth football league and invited Louay along to one of his games. It took some time for Louay to actually understand the rules of the game, but he could understand the role of a kicker well enough. His friend encouraged him to sign up seeing his interest and his parents were happy to let him join the team, hoping that he could make friends from it.

As it turned out, Louay was a decent kicker once he got the hang of it. It was satisfying to watch the ball fly through the goalposts, and having a team that he could celebrate with helped him get out of his shell and make friends with them. Most of them were fans of the NFL, which in turn made Louay curious about what it was like. He soon became a fan upon watching some games, enjoying the physicality and excitement of the sport. He initially supported the Los Angeles Rams because he found them fun to watch and they were relatively close.

Nowadays Louay is a fan of the Las Vegas Raiders, having swapped his fandom when they moved from Oakland in 2020. He attends a couple of games a season and watches the rest from home, making sure to represent his team via merchandise whenever he can. Louay also watches Real Madrid whenever he can, intending to attend one of their preseason games played in the US at some point. He has little interest in Major League Soccer, finding the fandom and sport in general a little inauthentic compared to European football, but will watch a game if he has nothing better to do.

Entering middle school, Louay started to see a therapist who helped him deal with his past trauma and develop new coping mechanisms. Some of his bad habits had passed over time — he had stopped hoarding food, but loud bangs or thumps made him anxious and jumpy and he still had occasional nightmares. This, along with some other symptoms and thoughts Louay had expressed during their sessions made his therapist diagnose him with PTSD related to the traumatic experiences he had as a child. It felt validating to Louay to know that it wasn’t his fault fireworks or backfiring cars made him drop to the ground and cover his ears, that there was some kind of explanation for it all.

Nowadays with the usage of coping mechanisms and monthly visits to his therapists to discuss anything potentially triggering and just let him vent if needed, Louay handles his trauma much better than he did as a child. If he expects to encounter loud bangs he brings earbuds or ear plugs to muffle or silence the noise.

Louay joined his school’s football team as soon as he could, serving as a dual kicker and punter. While he didn’t initially expect to enjoy punting, he soon found he enjoyed it more than being a kicker. Whereas kicking was something that required a defter touch, a punter could just kick the ball as hard as he can and be successful that way. He soon transitioned to being a full-time punter, which he was successful at. Louay had the right combination of traits that made him able to put the ball where he wanted it to go, which was already attracting some attention from high school football programs in the area

One of his classmates introduced Louay to the hobby of collecting sneakers after he asked why they wore a different pair of shoes to school every day. At the time Louay only owned a few pairs of sneakers, thinking that it was all he needed, but soon he developed an interest in collecting unique or cool-looking pairs of sneakers. His collection is modest due to his lack of money, but he hopes to expand it majorly once he starts earning.

After middle school, Louay chose to go to Red Rock because of its football program, believing that it would let him take that next step and keep improving his punting skills. After a year in the junior varsity team he was promoted to the starting punter for the varsity team, his skill being recognised by the head coach. He is an excellent punter — albeit one who doesn’t see much time on the field due to the high quality of their team — and has been invited to several punting camps over the years to further refine his skills and showcase them to college scouts.

Academically, Louay has good grades though he generally tends to focus on football and training during his free time rather than revising for class, but the quality of his work and grades improves during the offseason when he doesn’t have sports to think about. While he knows grades matter, Louay already knows that he has a scholarship secured and believes his time is better spent practicing.

Socially he is popular, both by virtue of being on the football team and by being generally likeable and easy-going. Louay tends to just go with the flow of whatever his friends or whoever he’s talking to, which can lead to him being somewhat of a doormat as he just tends to follow along with whatever makes people happiest. In some cases he will push down his own thoughts if they dissent with the person he’s talking to at the time.

While editing footage of his time on the field into a montage to send to colleges and recruiters, Louay discovered that he has a natural aptitude for video editing. He finds it both fun and rewarding to take together individual clips and snippets and stitch them together into a complete video. He has offered to help make highlight footage for any of his teammates looking to go play for a college program and has made several highlight edits of Raiders players to keep in practice.

Recently Louay has begun to question his faith. He doesn’t keep up with world news as he finds it too depressing, but recent events have made him question why a benevolent god would let these miserable and depressing things happen to good people who have done nothing to warrant such things. He has not shared these thoughts with his family and attends mosque alongside them as normal, worried about what they might think of him given their own devoutness and feeling ashamed that he can’t match it.

Overall though, Louay has a good relationship with his family. His father will take him to football games and has made an attempt to understand the sport. His mother always tries to be there for his own games, especially when his father can’t make it due to his work. He doesn’t see his brother much, as Adham is studying botany in Seattle. His sister Noor is studying English at UNLV but lives at home. Louay has a closer relationship with them than his parents, but always looks forward to his whole family being together.

Once he graduates, Louay is going to the University of Colorado Boulder to play football for the Colorado Buffaloes. He received offers from several schools, but CU Boulder won out as it was relatively close to Las Vegas, had a good football program and was highly rated academically. He has been to visit the campus and is looking forward to showing his talent to scouts and hopefully earning a place on an NFL team.

Advantages: Louay is athletic from playing football and training, having a lot of endurance and lower body strength. He also has a natural group of allies in the rest of the football team.
Disadvantages: Louay has severe negative reactions to loud bangs, and it’s likely that the stress of the island would make him revert back to freezing up if he heard gunshots or other loud banging sounds. He also has a habit of blindly following people and their actions regardless of his own thoughts.
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Gundham
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#2

Post by Gundham »

Applesintime, it is me, your nemesis: Orangesoutspace. Just kidding, it's me, Gundham. I'll be critiquing your profile today.

Overall, this is very well written. You've clearly done your homework with most of the fine details, but there are still a few minor grammar tweaks and one or two minor corrections that will need to be done. As such, Louay is Not Approved Yet.

Let's get right into it.
He has low cheekbones and a soft chin with a slight stubble, using an electric razor to shave.
Dangling modifier here, as written it sounds like his chin is using the electric razor. "Courtesy of using an electric razor to shave" or "as a result of using an electric razor to shave" would solve the issue.
Louay was born in Idlib, Syria, on the 26th of November, 2006, to Khalid and Layal Al-Dabbaq, née Edwan.
When using née in this context, a comma is required.
although Louay found it very difficult to try and learn another language combined with his education.
This is an awkward way to phrase this. Changing it to "on top of his education" or "in addition to his education" would clarify the meaning better.
With her husband’s agreement, she signed him up for youth football — having forgotten that football was a different sport in America.
This strains credulity a little bit. Layal presumably would have to go actively looking for a youth football league. Googling "Nevada youth football league" pulls up a picture of a football player, and the Nevada youth football league site (the first result on Google) has a football in its logo and pictures of football players in full football gear. It's possible that this was different a few years ago, but unlikely. Most sports programs also send out required equipment lists, and Layal would definitely notice that football helmets aren't usually necessary for soccer.

A more realistic way of approaching this might be to have Layal see some kind of advertisement for a football match and take Louay to watch it, and then have him make the connection that his kicking skills could be useful, and then have him sign up for the league that way.
Louay also watches Real Madrid whenever he can and intends to attend one of their preseason games played in the US whenever he has enough money to travel to them or if they play a game closer to him.
Bit of a run-on sentence here, find a way to split it up or trim it down.
Nowadays, with the usage of coping mechanics
Should be "coping mechanisms."
Louay joined his school’s football team as soon as he could, serving as a dual kicker and punter due to his leg.
It's not clear what "due to his leg" means in this context.
Once he graduates, Louay intends to join a college football program. He would like to go to a program close enough that his family doesn’t need to travel far to see him, but if a truly good program offers him a scholarship he does not mind travelling across the country. He hopes to one day play in the NFL, but if that doesn’t happen he intends to go into a career that involves video editing, using his scholarship to get a degree in the field.
According to our resident sports expert, in college football, the early signing day and where most players declare where they're going to attend, is December 4th. Since pregame takes place in spring, Louay would have had to already make this decision.

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That's all I've got for you on the first pass. If you have any questions, or any of the critique doesn't make sense to you, feel free to shoot me a DM or PM and I'll be happy to talk it out with you. Otherwise, make the edits and post here when you're done, so I can give it another look-see!
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Applesintime
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#3

Post by Applesintime »

gotta be real I was hoping I could slip the football mistake in, alas :pensive:

(edits made)
[+] V8
S002: Alex Avanesian - 10/20/2003 - 12/10/2021

S056: Madeleine Molliqaj - 05/29/2003 - 12/13/2021

S078: Matthew Bell - 11/19/2003 -
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Gundham
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Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 10:50 pm

#4

Post by Gundham »

Took a while to dot the i's and cross the t's but you are good to go. APPROVED
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