Getting Ready to Rumble

[EllisWilson]

Yes! Opinion validated, that meant it was the right one. Cue stupid little fist pump. Now back to business.

“Exactly,” Wade said. “Punk’s gotta win it this year. It’s the only thing in WWE he hasn’t done yet, probably.”

Instinctively, Wade’s hand went to his pocket, looking for his phone. It being empty reminded him that said phone was still at his house.

“Anyone got the time? How long until the rumble starts?”

Wade was hyped. Simple as, but he still wanted to refrain from bouncing his leg the way he was doing, so his put a hand on it, told it to chill the fuck out a bit.

[EarthBound]

Lopaka stuck his tongue out, clearly attempting to tease the others about agreeing on one lane

“Y’all need to branch out and have fun with it! The unexpected outcomes are always kickass, y’know? Punk can wait a lil’ longer, he’s waited this long!”

Lopaka’s eyes trailed back to the mockup Royal Rumble, watching as Dora The Explorer launched a suplex on Seth Rollins. Yeah, that made total sense.

“Likeee….five minutes, I think? It’s ‘bout to start, they’re just getting all the hype up!”

Lopaka pouted. “I can’t waittttt, man! All this anticipation is going to make me eat all of this stuff out of like- stress!” Beat. “I think that’s how it works.”

[Survival Chances]

Thomas felt a little better.

Yes, he knew it was the game he was pointing to.

Yes, he was playing Russian roulette over whether or not the characters were actually in the game.

But oh well, that was all (thirty seconds) in the past, and besides, Lopoka had announced the royal rumble was in five minutes. "Well, are we all ready or what!?" Pumping his fist in the air.

Thomas soon heard his stomach growl loudly. That was when he realized he had forgotten to eat anything, too busy annihilating his competition with Dora the Explorer.

Thomas looked around, seeing that nearly all the snacks brought had been demolished, with barely anything left. I guess that happens when you lock four hungry teens in a room.

Thomas quickly realized that everyone else had most certainly heard his stomach grumble. He shrugged and asked, "Hey, sorry to ask. Any more food on the way?"

[Fiori]

"Oh dude, we've got plenty!" said Koa, gesturing to the snack table. "Help yourself! Gonna order some pizzas later for the postgame fallout..."

"...no pineapple!" he added, squinting knowingly at his brother.

His eyes widened as he checked the time - hot damn, Lopaka was right! The Royal Rumble was starting any minute now! The video game rumble ended in a three way battle between Dora the Explorer, Ted Dibiase and God - Dora won in the end, fortunately. He always thought God was a little OP.

But, enough video games. Now it was time for the real deal...

"Awww, yeaaah, here we go!"

---

"HELL YEAH! Pentagon, mah BOI!"

---

"Ooh man, I still get chills whenever Roman's theme hits!"

---

"Hoooly shit, dudes... Cena, Roman AND Punk! In the same ring! Oh, it's ON now!"

---

"YEET!"

---

"Don't stare at Cena's bald spot, don't stare at Cena's bald spot, don't stare at Cena's bald spot..."

---

"Oh, what!? They did Drew dirty AGAIN?!"

---

"Man, how come Logan always get the best spots?"

---

"WHAT?!? Well, uh... That does it, Cena's winning I guess..."

---

"WAI-WUH?! No way!! Noooooo way!!!"

---

Eventually, the broadcast came to an end, followed by a long pause.

Koa sat there, jaw dropped in stunned silence. Of all the people who could've won the Royal Rumble that year...

He slowly turned to his friends, unsure what to say.

Eventually, it was his brother Noah that broke the silence.

"YEET!"

[EllisWilson]

Rebooting…

Rebooting…

YEET!

Reboot Complete

“Logan Paul?!” Wade was flabbergasted, befuddled, and… and…

“Logan Paul?!”

Wade placed his hands on his face and leaned back on the couch, groaning as audibly as the couch itself did. “They had Logan Paul eliminate CM Punk?” He said, running his hands down his face and just about dragging the skin off entirely. “You might as well just take a dump directly in my mouth at this point, I mean come on dude?”

In the ultimate show of sulking Wade could manage, he crossed his arms and exhaled through his nose like a big, musclebound toddler whose parents wouldn’t let him climb inside the dishwasher.

“And Jey Uso wins too? Well…”

Wade cut himself off at that one. Koa’s brother seemed happy about it, and he wasn’t super inclined to start arguing about the merits and demerits of the biggest upset he’d ever seen in WWE. So, he just waved it off and went back to his arm crossing.

[EarthBound]

You ever see something on TV, and then have to sit in silence in order to consume everything that just happened? Yeah, that's NOT usually what Lopaka feels after watching a Royal Rumble, but that all seemed to come to a halt with this specific one. Miz got out, that IShowSpeed guy was around for some reason, and how come they keep trying to push this Logan Paul thing?

Those were the first thoughts that came to his mind, anyways. But, once the dust had finally settled, and the reality of Jey Uso's victory was washing over the group...

"HOOOOOOLY SHIT!" Lopaka sat up, laughing as his palms ran down his cheeks. The WWE has always been extremely corny, but they always manage to pass his expectations and give him something to be completely in shock about. That was the joy about all of it. Sometimes the storylines can drag on, sometimes the wrestlers can be straight up ridiculous, but at least he always had someone to talk to or react to the drama with.

"I can't believe they picked Jey- #19!? NINETEEN!? DUUUUDE, HOW LONG WAS HE IN THERE FOR!? THAT'S NUTS!"

The long-haired man clapped his hands, being the exact opposite to Wade at this moment. They really didn't want to let Jey go, huh? That's fine- he likes Jey. But, damn....

"Aw, but I lost Miz!" He frowns. "Sucks."

[Survival Chances]

Although Thomas wasn't 100% sure what was happening at all times, it was incredibly fun to watch. However, once he saw Logan Paul, he began to root against him. Thomas never really liked him (so many controversies!), so he was flabbergasted at his victory.

It was at this moment that we explained the five stages of grief, as this is what Thomas is currently going through:

DENIAL: "NO WAY!" Thomas shouted along with Lokopa's yells of holy shit. "That's not possible. Absolutely not!"

ANGER: After that yelling, Thomas looked around and angrily thought, How could that guy beat John Cena!? John Cena could have crushed him like a grape!

BARGAINING: Ok, ok... Maybe there was some sort of chance he would win, but it was a small one!

DEPRESSION: Why couldn't one of the others win!? Everyone else could have made it, but no. It was Logan Paul, whose brother had already beaten Mike Tyson!

ACCEPTENCE: Oh, well, it can't be that bad. There are more years to come!

This had taken about a minute, so when Thomas opened his mouth again, it was to say, "Was that crazy or what?"

[Fiori]

"Oh man..." said Koa, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. "Dude, that was nuts!"

He had real mixed feelings over Jey winning the rumble. Like, on the one hand... Woo, go Jey! Yeet, etc. On the other... Huh.

But hey, you know what? Surprises like this were one of the many reasons he loved wrestling. Sometimes, you just never know what's gonna happen next. What a swerve to start the year off, doubt anything was gonna top that anytime soon.

"So... I guess they're gonna have him go up against Gunther night 1 or something?" he ponders aloud, cupping his chin as he started speculating. "Maaaybe Punk wins at elimination chamber, then? Or Cena I guess, can't rule nothin' out"

"Yeet!" went Noah again, halfway up the stairs after holding it in the entire show.

Koa chuckled before looking over at Lopaka, reaching out to pat his shoulder. "But hey, there's always next year!"

[EllisWilson]

Wade, arms still crossed, responded to Thomas first.

“Crazy is one way to put it.” Wade said before giving his attention to Koa. Realistically, past the heat of the moment, Wade could understand the trajectory Koa was laying out.

“Probably right,” He said. “My bet is that Cena’ll—”

Yeet!

“My bet is that Cena’ll win and challenge Cody. For Punk…”

Wade thought for a moment, fingers across his moustache. The dawning look of horror on his face was plainly visible.

“Ah, fuck, Punk is gonna face Logan Paul isn’t he?”

[EarthBound]

Lopaka dramatically slumped in his chair when Koa pat his shoulder, playing up the just so horrible idea of Miz losing. You could almost hear an audible womp.

"I'm so sad. I'm going to be sad foreeeeeeveeeer!" He's going to forget about this in, like, a minute.

Lopaka re-entered the conversation when Wade brought up the idea of possible upcoming fights. He pointed over at his friend, chuckling at the thought.

"No no no, they're going to push Speed. I think they're tryna' get a new audience, or something!"

Even though that was, uh.....that was far from a good performance.

"And don't be so pessimistic 'bout it, this is fuuuuun!" Lopaka mimicked throwing a pillow at Wade, although he would never go ahead and do that....he really didn't feel like wrestling today, not against an angry Wade.

[Survival Chances]

(OOC: Sorry for the very late post, my family went on vacation and I wasn't able to say anything in time)

So Thomas had been wrong earlier, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Leave it to him to think that the ad for Logan Paul had been an actual showing of him winning everything.

Anyways, Thomas looked around at everyone, with emotions seeming high. Thomas didn't dare say a thing, because of his low knowledge of wrestling Thomas felt he could easily end up in a chokehold.

Ok, maybe not that, but seeing Wade's scowl definitely kept him on his toes.

[Fiori]

"Sspppp-pPPpph-SPEED?!" Koa sputtered, barely containing his laughter as he wiped a tear from his eyes. "Aaawww, man... Lopaka, dude, your takes are something else!"

He had to take a moment to compose himself after that, caught up in a fit of stifled chuckles as he laid back on the sofa. "Maaaan... But hey, like, I think they were teasin' Punk vs Rollins at 'mania? Maybe even Roman as well for a triple threat type thing? Assuming we ain't getting Rock v Roman this year..."

The thought alone gave him goosebumps. Cena vs Cody AND Rock vs Roman for his first ever Wrestlemania?! WHOoo boy.

Still, much as he was looking forward to seeing Wrestlemania with his family, there was something real special about nights like this. Just him and his bros - both literal and metaphorical - watching some wrasslin' together. Speculating over who was gonna win, who was gonna get tossed out the ring first, who was gonna get the most eliminations, etc. Enjoying some great games and good grub with the guys... Truly, there was nothing quite like it.

Oh, speaking of games and grub...

"Aaalrighty, so pizzas oughta be arriving in an hour... Until then, I've got a very important question:"

Slowly rising from the sofa, Koa sauntered his way in front of everyone, before producing a pair of PS5 games.

"Tekken 8, or Dragon Ball FighterZ?"

((Koa Tagaloa continued in Chlorine))

[EllisWilson]

((OOC: No worries at all Survival, I hope it was a good vacation))

Lopaka’s prediction of IShowSpeed getting a push in the WWE truly threw Wade into the deepest throes of despair, as evidence by the groan he made while sliding down the couch and onto the floor. The world was over, everyone was dead, life was a fuck. All Wade could do now was lay there and acknowledge his fate. To sink through the floorboards of the Tagaloa residence and become one with the plumbing, forever filtering the waste of the world through his mind and body…

He got back on the couch as soon as Koa suggested Punk vs Rollins. “I’m on board with that. Rock vs Roman too, for the record.”

Lopaka miming with the pillow got a chuckle out of Wade. He appreciated the guys ability to see the brighter side, he really did. It really wasn’t that serious, even if Wade needed that drilled into his head sometimes. Kept him from sneering at everything all the time, not that there wasn’t plenty to sneer at…

Wade decided this wasn’t one of those times.

“Game doesn’t matter, I’m gonna smoke you all anyway.”

He laughed. Life was good.

((Wade Colter continued elsewhere…)

[EarthBound]

Lopaka had probably the largest fit of laughter ever recorded on the Laug-hter (Richt-laugh? Richter scale for laughter, you get the point), slapping the side of the couch as Koa laughed to the point of tears and Wade went even further into questioning his life decisions.

"IT'S GONNA HAPPEN! You guys keep laughing at me, but it's going to happen, and then you're all going to look so stupid!" Did he truly believe that the WWE was going to push Speed forward and ruin everything that they built themselves on? Ehhh, maybe. It was more fun to get a reaction out of his friends than anything. If he had to act the fool to get a smile on Wade's face (Koa wasn't that hard to get), then that was his mission from the beginning!

Regardless, the fact that all of them could meet like this made Lopaka feel accomplished enough. He's known these guys for years now, and yet, their mutual relationship is stronger than ever before. Even when it's just watching a bunch of people throw each other around and do some siiiiick moves, it was just something they could all agree upon and enjoy.

And, now, for the next activity. With Wade having no preference, Lopaka piped up.

"Tekken 8! Oh, I've been practicing, I am not losing this time! Especially not to you!" He said, as he nudged Wade.

The result didn't matter, as long as they were all happy.

((Lopaka Akana continued in one eye on the lane and one eye on the lava)