My Final Straw

[AnimeNerd]

I’m going to slam my head through a wall.

My cousin, let’s call her D, is (or now probably was) dating one of those NFT bros, you know the ones. Trying their damnedest to get you interested in them, will go on and on about how cryptocurrency is the future, and completely ignoring any and all downsides to them, no matter how many times they’re pointed out. And me, being the one in the family that does art for a living, have been dealing with the most of his bullshit. We will be calling him Richard, and you know exactly why.

I swear, every other time I’ve talked to him, he’s tried to get me into an NFT plan of his. Turkey Townies during Thanksgiving, Snowcicles in December, even Nude Years when 2021 was ending (that one especially made me want to vomit). This most recent incident is the worst by far, though.

My cousin lives in Boston, Massachusetts, and still lives with her parents and younger brother. Said younger brother, let’s call him J, is a senior in high school, and he was recently complaining about how his school might not be getting a senior trip this year since, you know, there’s a chance they could get kidnapped and forced to kill each other. J says it wouldn’t happen to him, I’m pretty sure thinking some childish “I’m invincible!” thought process at the time.

Well, that’s not really a problem now. Since it first became public knowledge that the next Survival of the Fittest has started, they’ve all pretty much been in shock. It’s to the point that, when I mentioned senior trips to J, he kind of just stared at me, full on thousand yards, completely silent, and it took D prompting him about his newest game to get him talking again. My aunt and uncle are taking it best, though I’m pretty sure both my cousins are getting curfews now. D, meanwhile, is the middle ground, still able to talk about things without spacing out, but I caught her watching J as he slept during one visit, and giving him extra tight hugs. They’ve always been close, and I think even the idea that it could’ve been him terrifies her.

Then there’s Richard. During this last visit, it was just me, D, and him at the house-my aunt and uncle were taking J to a concert where a friend of his would be playing. We talked about the usual stuff like life, work, what shows we were watching, etc. Then D’s phone starts ringing, she realizes it’s a work call, and goes to another room to answer, leaving me alone with Richard.

At first it seems like he actually tries to be personable, asking if I had heard anything on the news. At first I thought he was talking about the weather, so I pulled out my own phone to check. He then clarified, saying that he was talking about Survival of the Fittest. I answered no, because trying to find out anything involving that is bound to get you watching a snuff video, and that is something I will NEVER want. At this point, I am visibly uncomfortable, almost wishing the conversation would be about NFTs again.

Turns out, there was some sort of monkey’s paw bullshit in the air, because Richard starts talking about NFTs. Not just any NFTs, oh no, a specific plan of NFTs that he has, and wants me to be involved in. And what, pray tell, does this motherfucker what NFTs of?

Survival of the Fittest.

This man heard about the recent tragedy of yet another hundred or so kids getting kidnapped and forced to kill each other, and thought “Oh boy, this is my chance to get a profit!”

He went on for a straight up minute about this idea, about making them the kids' faces, with versions at various states during their time stuck there, and for the whole thing I just sat there, slack jawed. On repeat, my mind was just thinking “He can’t be serious, this has to be a joke.” But not once did he say it was a joke. No psyche. No punchline. Just a man who wanted to make a profit off of dead children.

I didn’t even wait for him to finish his spiel before throwing the drink in my glass at him. I told him he was sick, not just if he thought I would do that, but because he even thought of it in the first place! We got into an argument, and it didn’t take long for D to notice and end her work call early to get between us before things got physical. I didn’t waste any time in telling her that Richard was trying to make money off of kids dying. And Richard, in all his brilliance, didn’t deny it-oh no, he actually confirmed it, saying that it was definitely going to be successful and that they would be billionaires and other lies.

D didn’t let him finish either. First trying to stay calm and telling him to leave, and when he tried to plead more, screaming at him to get out until he left. With the look on her face, it looked like she was caught between turning into a sobbing mess or trying to throttle him. I almost wish she did.

It’s been a couple hours since then. I told my aunt and uncle and they were about as upset as you’d expect. Haven’t told J himself yet though-I'm kind of afraid he’d go into catatonic shock if I did, that or try to kill Richard himself. The only reason why D has yet to dump him is that it was late when we kicked him out, and she wanted to get some sleep before she had to deal with him again.

My blood is still boiling from it all. Trying to get money from the deaths of actual children. What the absolute fuck is wrong with some people?!?