"I-wha-"
For a few seconds, the only thing that came out of Francis' mouth was sputtered indignation. Picking a fight? That was how she'd chosen to describe what had just happened? Francis hadn't been trying to hurt Bella directly in any way, he'd just been trying to knock that naive attitude out of her, and his anger at the announcement had been the only reason he'd insulted her, something Megan was not fucking helping with.
And did she just fucking threaten him? Did Megan Emerson just fucking threaten him? Francis would have found that almost laughable if it hadn't seriously pissed him off. If Megan had just let this fucking go, then everything would have turned out fine. But no, it had turned into a full blown argument, and if that was how Megan wanted to play this, then fine. Francis was adept at this game.
"Listen to me, Megan." Francis spat the words out, eyes narrowed. "I wasn't tryin' to pick a fuckin' fight with Bella, I was tryin' to fuckin' help her! You say she won't last three days if she doesn't keep calm, she's not gonna last one if she doesn't ditch that fuckin' trustin' attitude! specially in trustin' pieces of shit like Hansel! She doesn't adapt soon, she dies, simple as that."
"And don't-" Francis reached out to grab Megan's arm. "-don't even think about tryin' to fuckin' threaten me again." Maybe if he did that, maybe if he had her full attention, she'd actually listen to him, get what he was saying.
The Real Folk Blues
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
"Don't touch me. Don't you dare fucking touch me."
Megan smacked Francis's hand away and fell into an awkward silence. She didn't know how to react to what he was saying at all, or rather she didn't want to hear it.
Threatening him? Where the hell did that come from? And then he had to go out and say that Bella would die unless she changed? God dammit, Francis.
She didn't know how much more she could take, but she started this and she was gonna end this, just like the regular fights she had with her sister. Megan stood up for Bella; she wasn't about to be silenced.
It was only in the silence when she noticed how fiery hot her face felt.
She broke the silence with one last word. "If...if you think you can 'toughen' someone up by saying their friend was always a psycho, then I'm ashamed of you. I honestly don't give two flying fucks how you feel about Hansel, but fuck you, Francis. I thought you were better than that; I guess I was wrong."
She couldn't bother to look him in the eyes anymore.
Megan smacked Francis's hand away and fell into an awkward silence. She didn't know how to react to what he was saying at all, or rather she didn't want to hear it.
Threatening him? Where the hell did that come from? And then he had to go out and say that Bella would die unless she changed? God dammit, Francis.
She didn't know how much more she could take, but she started this and she was gonna end this, just like the regular fights she had with her sister. Megan stood up for Bella; she wasn't about to be silenced.
It was only in the silence when she noticed how fiery hot her face felt.
She broke the silence with one last word. "If...if you think you can 'toughen' someone up by saying their friend was always a psycho, then I'm ashamed of you. I honestly don't give two flying fucks how you feel about Hansel, but fuck you, Francis. I thought you were better than that; I guess I was wrong."
She couldn't bother to look him in the eyes anymore.
Francis didn't even get a chance to get Megan to focus, to have her full attention. She smacked his hand out of the way almost instantly. Whatever implied meaning was behind it stung more than the actual hit. Either she didn't want to listen to him, or she didn't care, or something else entirely. Whatever it was, it only added fuel to the fire.
There was an awkward pause, filled only with the mutual anger from both sides. Francis considered just going back into the room, getting some more rest. Because God fucking damn it, he wanted this alliance to work. He wanted them all to be safe, even Megan, no matter how much she was pissing him off right now.
But no, before he could make a move towards the door, Megan spoke up again, looking purposely away from Francis. More of the same, berating him for how he'd tried to talk with Bella, although now with an insult thrown into the mix. Well, fuck you too, Megan. He'd avoided saying anything like that, and now Megan had just gone straight for it.
And then there was the killing blow. The fact that she'd thought better of him. Disappointment. It had always affected Francis more than pure, blind anger. The fact that somebody had expected something of him, and he hadn't managed to reach those heights. Francis was certain he was in the right; Hansel was an idiot, and if Bella couldn't see that the easy way, then Francis needed to deal with it the hard way. But the words hit him hard, made him realise more than ever that their alliance was crumbling apart.
They both just needed to calm down, right now, before this whole thing came to blows. Breathe, talk it out, that sorta bullshit. Francis mentally counted to three before he spoke up. They needed to put all of this behind them as soon as possible.
"Megan, just... just fuckin' listen to me."
Francis reached out again, and this time, managed to grab hold of Megan's arm.
There was an awkward pause, filled only with the mutual anger from both sides. Francis considered just going back into the room, getting some more rest. Because God fucking damn it, he wanted this alliance to work. He wanted them all to be safe, even Megan, no matter how much she was pissing him off right now.
But no, before he could make a move towards the door, Megan spoke up again, looking purposely away from Francis. More of the same, berating him for how he'd tried to talk with Bella, although now with an insult thrown into the mix. Well, fuck you too, Megan. He'd avoided saying anything like that, and now Megan had just gone straight for it.
And then there was the killing blow. The fact that she'd thought better of him. Disappointment. It had always affected Francis more than pure, blind anger. The fact that somebody had expected something of him, and he hadn't managed to reach those heights. Francis was certain he was in the right; Hansel was an idiot, and if Bella couldn't see that the easy way, then Francis needed to deal with it the hard way. But the words hit him hard, made him realise more than ever that their alliance was crumbling apart.
They both just needed to calm down, right now, before this whole thing came to blows. Breathe, talk it out, that sorta bullshit. Francis mentally counted to three before he spoke up. They needed to put all of this behind them as soon as possible.
"Megan, just... just fuckin' listen to me."
Francis reached out again, and this time, managed to grab hold of Megan's arm.
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
Francis's words fell on silent ears. Whatever he had said, Megan just tuned him out in anger. But that wasn't her problem.
Francis grabbed her arm. Again. She couldn't stop focusing on that smarmy, gross hand that firmly gripped her left arm. It didn't leave a friendly "let's chill the fuck out and sing Kumbaya with the others" feeling; it couldn't be, not after the anger they both expressed.
Whatever this feeling was, Megan didn't like it. Francis didn't learn the first time, so she'd have to be more forceful now.
"Back off."
She twisted her arm out of his grip and shoved his chest, arcing her reach slightly upward to make up for the height difference. That'll get the message across.
She soon regretted that choice.
Francis grabbed her arm. Again. She couldn't stop focusing on that smarmy, gross hand that firmly gripped her left arm. It didn't leave a friendly "let's chill the fuck out and sing Kumbaya with the others" feeling; it couldn't be, not after the anger they both expressed.
Whatever this feeling was, Megan didn't like it. Francis didn't learn the first time, so she'd have to be more forceful now.
"Back off."
She twisted her arm out of his grip and shoved his chest, arcing her reach slightly upward to make up for the height difference. That'll get the message across.
She soon regretted that choice.
Francis hadn't been expecting the shove.
He'd thought Megan would react in one of two ways. Either she'd yell at him again, and he'd just walk back into the classroom, or she'd finally fucking listen to him. But resorting to violence, shoving him backwards? No, that had never crossed Francis' mind.
If it had, he might have thought twice about grabbing Megan's arm again. He could have tried, somehow, to calm down, and talk it out, and if that hadn't worked, he could just have left.
But Francis had grabbed Megan's arm, and he was unable to brace himself for the shove. Unable to stop himself from stumbling backwards, and unable to stop himself from hitting the lip of the stairs, falling backwards into nothingness.
For a moment, Francis felt like he was held in midair. But then he was falling, he was definitely falling backwards, and less than a second later he'd hit the ground with a horrible thudding sound and he was tumbling down, head over heels down the stairs.
Francis' eyes were screwed shut, unable to see the rush of ceiling, stairs, ceiling stairs, but he could feel it, God could he feel it. There was a constant dull pain thudding into him, hitting every part of his body, over and over. Francis heard a sharp crack, felt a sudden sharp pain in his arm, felt something warm flowing onto his face, kept falling. There was only one thought in his head, aside from the constant realisation of pain.
How the fuck did everythin' fall to shi-
Francis' head smacked against the steps, there was a sharp cracking sound, and everything just stopped. He didn't feel his body come to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, wasn't able to see Megan's reaction, wasn't able to do all the things he'd wanted and planned, on the island and off of it.
All that was left of Francis St. Ledger was an ungainly heap that had once been a boy, lying at the base of the stairs.
B024: FRANCIS ST. LEDGER-DECEASED
He'd thought Megan would react in one of two ways. Either she'd yell at him again, and he'd just walk back into the classroom, or she'd finally fucking listen to him. But resorting to violence, shoving him backwards? No, that had never crossed Francis' mind.
If it had, he might have thought twice about grabbing Megan's arm again. He could have tried, somehow, to calm down, and talk it out, and if that hadn't worked, he could just have left.
But Francis had grabbed Megan's arm, and he was unable to brace himself for the shove. Unable to stop himself from stumbling backwards, and unable to stop himself from hitting the lip of the stairs, falling backwards into nothingness.
For a moment, Francis felt like he was held in midair. But then he was falling, he was definitely falling backwards, and less than a second later he'd hit the ground with a horrible thudding sound and he was tumbling down, head over heels down the stairs.
Francis' eyes were screwed shut, unable to see the rush of ceiling, stairs, ceiling stairs, but he could feel it, God could he feel it. There was a constant dull pain thudding into him, hitting every part of his body, over and over. Francis heard a sharp crack, felt a sudden sharp pain in his arm, felt something warm flowing onto his face, kept falling. There was only one thought in his head, aside from the constant realisation of pain.
How the fuck did everythin' fall to shi-
Francis' head smacked against the steps, there was a sharp cracking sound, and everything just stopped. He didn't feel his body come to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, wasn't able to see Megan's reaction, wasn't able to do all the things he'd wanted and planned, on the island and off of it.
All that was left of Francis St. Ledger was an ungainly heap that had once been a boy, lying at the base of the stairs.
B024: FRANCIS ST. LEDGER-DECEASED
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
Megan's body quivered, her breath held still as Francis rolled down the stairs. Like some grotesque Slinky he kept going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going until he was out of view.
And then, silence. Dead air.
Did...did this just happen? No...it couldn't've... Francis is fine, yeah. He has to be. Maybe a little sore and really pissed, but he'll be fine. It wasn't Megan's fault he was being a dick, anyway.
With words of self-encouragement, Megan took the steps down, each step feeling heavy. Yeah, it would be okay. They'd just laugh it off; he needed to be taken down a couple of notches anyway.
A gasp escaped Megan when she saw the contorted heap that used to belong to Francis St. Ledger.
It was the first corpse she ever saw...a corpse that was alive and functioning literally a minute ago.
Megan ran for the exit, haphazardly stepping over the dead body as the duffel bag swung against her body. She chose to run, to run away from Juhan and Takeshi and Bella who were going to see the body and turn on her, to run away from the manslaughter, to run away from her mistakes.
She caused Aria to steal the golf club. She caused those girls to turn them away. Now, she just killed one of her friends.
Bella had Juhan now; she was going to be fine. But Megan, no. Everything for her was pushed away. It was over; even Gavin probably wouldn't look her in the eye anymore.
I'm sorry, Mirabella.
((Megan Emerson in The Red Shoes))
And then, silence. Dead air.
Did...did this just happen? No...it couldn't've... Francis is fine, yeah. He has to be. Maybe a little sore and really pissed, but he'll be fine. It wasn't Megan's fault he was being a dick, anyway.
With words of self-encouragement, Megan took the steps down, each step feeling heavy. Yeah, it would be okay. They'd just laugh it off; he needed to be taken down a couple of notches anyway.
A gasp escaped Megan when she saw the contorted heap that used to belong to Francis St. Ledger.
It was the first corpse she ever saw...a corpse that was alive and functioning literally a minute ago.
Megan ran for the exit, haphazardly stepping over the dead body as the duffel bag swung against her body. She chose to run, to run away from Juhan and Takeshi and Bella who were going to see the body and turn on her, to run away from the manslaughter, to run away from her mistakes.
She caused Aria to steal the golf club. She caused those girls to turn them away. Now, she just killed one of her friends.
Bella had Juhan now; she was going to be fine. But Megan, no. Everything for her was pushed away. It was over; even Gavin probably wouldn't look her in the eye anymore.
I'm sorry, Mirabella.
((Megan Emerson in The Red Shoes))
Bella squinted her eyes at her notebook. She'd been unable to concentrate, and hadn't made any additions to the half-sentence scrawled onto the page. I'll do it later. Once we've had breakfast. Or something.
Scream.
Bang.
Silence.
What.
Bella leapt to her feet upon the sudden disarray of noises from the other side of the door and rushed towards it. Midway there, she paused, and turned back towards the two boys.
"Juhan, Takeshi. Stay here. I'll just check."
Oh god Francis, if you've done anything to Megan so help me god I will cut your throat open myself.
She nudged the door open, attempting to look as calm and collected as possible. God knows what's on the other side. Stay frosty, Bella.. She knew that if she had her golf club then it'd more than make up for her lack of pizzazz, but hopefully she could make a pen look as menacing as possible.
There was nothing on the other side. No Megan, no Francis.
Did they? What'd they do? Maybe it was all a ruse, maybe they were only pretending to fight so that they could get away wait what am I thinking no they wouldn't have stop being stupid, Bella.
Then she saw it.
And she retched at the sight.
The staircase was matted with crimson streaks, and a pool of blood was congealing beneath the open skull of what was once Francis Joseph St. Ledger.
No. Oh no no no no no no no no nonononono.
She began to rush down the staircase to reach him, but her knees buckled beneath her before she could make it halfway there. Suddenly she was staring at the ceiling, her eyes transfixed on the peeling wallpaper. She lingered there for half a minute, before pulling herself up again. Oh god Megan what just happened where are you, Megan? Megan?
"MEGAN?!"
Before she could stop it, tears were flowing from her eyes again, wetting the hardwood panels of the staircase. She left me, didn't she? Why did she leave me? She killed a friend and then she left me, oh Megan why? Why? She promised me. SHE PROMISED ME.
She pulled herself to her feet again, unsteadily trying to find a grip. This is not Megan. She wouldn't do this.
The others had no doubt heard her fall, but she couldn't be sure. I can't go back there. How can I tell them that their friend is dead? That it was my fault?
The pills.
She needed the pills more than anything in the world. Maybe she could just sneak in, grab the bottles, and run. She was good at that, right?
Right?
She ungracefully trudged back up the staircase and half-fell back into the classroom they'd taken refuge in. She could see the glint of the half open bottle amongst the tresses of her bag. Just grab it and run, Bella.
But she couldn't. She couldn't tell what it was, but her feet wouldn't turn on their heels and flee. She was glued to the floor, staring at the two boys. One was a friend, a good friend. The other almost a stranger.
I need someone with me. I can't do this alone. Maybe they might forgive me. Forgive me for being the catalyst. Forgive me for being the stupid bitch who had to open her mouth and give that stupid lecture.
There was no other way of going about it. She had to tell them straight up. She didn't want to, but she couldn't see any other way.
"Juhan. Takeshi. Francis is...he's dead."
Scream.
Bang.
Silence.
What.
Bella leapt to her feet upon the sudden disarray of noises from the other side of the door and rushed towards it. Midway there, she paused, and turned back towards the two boys.
"Juhan, Takeshi. Stay here. I'll just check."
Oh god Francis, if you've done anything to Megan so help me god I will cut your throat open myself.
She nudged the door open, attempting to look as calm and collected as possible. God knows what's on the other side. Stay frosty, Bella.. She knew that if she had her golf club then it'd more than make up for her lack of pizzazz, but hopefully she could make a pen look as menacing as possible.
There was nothing on the other side. No Megan, no Francis.
Did they? What'd they do? Maybe it was all a ruse, maybe they were only pretending to fight so that they could get away wait what am I thinking no they wouldn't have stop being stupid, Bella.
Then she saw it.
And she retched at the sight.
The staircase was matted with crimson streaks, and a pool of blood was congealing beneath the open skull of what was once Francis Joseph St. Ledger.
No. Oh no no no no no no no no nonononono.
She began to rush down the staircase to reach him, but her knees buckled beneath her before she could make it halfway there. Suddenly she was staring at the ceiling, her eyes transfixed on the peeling wallpaper. She lingered there for half a minute, before pulling herself up again. Oh god Megan what just happened where are you, Megan? Megan?
"MEGAN?!"
Before she could stop it, tears were flowing from her eyes again, wetting the hardwood panels of the staircase. She left me, didn't she? Why did she leave me? She killed a friend and then she left me, oh Megan why? Why? She promised me. SHE PROMISED ME.
She pulled herself to her feet again, unsteadily trying to find a grip. This is not Megan. She wouldn't do this.
The others had no doubt heard her fall, but she couldn't be sure. I can't go back there. How can I tell them that their friend is dead? That it was my fault?
The pills.
She needed the pills more than anything in the world. Maybe she could just sneak in, grab the bottles, and run. She was good at that, right?
Right?
She ungracefully trudged back up the staircase and half-fell back into the classroom they'd taken refuge in. She could see the glint of the half open bottle amongst the tresses of her bag. Just grab it and run, Bella.
But she couldn't. She couldn't tell what it was, but her feet wouldn't turn on their heels and flee. She was glued to the floor, staring at the two boys. One was a friend, a good friend. The other almost a stranger.
I need someone with me. I can't do this alone. Maybe they might forgive me. Forgive me for being the catalyst. Forgive me for being the stupid bitch who had to open her mouth and give that stupid lecture.
There was no other way of going about it. She had to tell them straight up. She didn't want to, but she couldn't see any other way.
"Juhan. Takeshi. Francis is...he's dead."
Everything is fine until the moment it isn't. Then it's in a million pieces on the ground.
"Megan?" Takeshi inquired. Takeshi was slowly piecing together what had happened based on what he gathered from the sounds he heard from outside the abandoned classroom. He was simultaneously more and less eager to leave, since there was now a corpse in the hall, but if he stayed in the classroom he didn't have to see it. As he sat, his mind moved in several directions.
Now it's real. Is it better or worse that I didn't know him that well? Why are we even here? Bella found him. I wouldn't want to have been the one to find him.
"Are you okay?"
"Megan?" Takeshi inquired. Takeshi was slowly piecing together what had happened based on what he gathered from the sounds he heard from outside the abandoned classroom. He was simultaneously more and less eager to leave, since there was now a corpse in the hall, but if he stayed in the classroom he didn't have to see it. As he sat, his mind moved in several directions.
Now it's real. Is it better or worse that I didn't know him that well? Why are we even here? Bella found him. I wouldn't want to have been the one to find him.
"Are you okay?"
Bella nodded in reply to Takeshi's question. "I think so. She's gone, took her bag as well. I can't be sure, though."
She left me. Why did she leave me? Did she think I wouldn't forgive her or something? Why, Megan? We pinky promised...
Was she okay? She wasn't. She couldn't be, not with what had just happened. Her mind was a mixture of anger and confusion and fear and hopelessness. This was not what was supposed to be happening. Three minutes ago we were all clustered together. Happy, almost. And then everything just collapsed. And it's all my fault. I have to stay strong. For Juhan and Takeshi, if not myself.
Garrett. I need Garrett.
"I...I don't know. I don't know if I'm okay. Does that make any sense?"
Of course it doesn't. Don't be so stupid.
"I'm so sorry, guys. I don't really know what to say, I...I...I..."
Her feet finally yielded their stone-cold grip on the floorboards, and she sank to the ground.
"What do we do?"
She left me. Why did she leave me? Did she think I wouldn't forgive her or something? Why, Megan? We pinky promised...
Was she okay? She wasn't. She couldn't be, not with what had just happened. Her mind was a mixture of anger and confusion and fear and hopelessness. This was not what was supposed to be happening. Three minutes ago we were all clustered together. Happy, almost. And then everything just collapsed. And it's all my fault. I have to stay strong. For Juhan and Takeshi, if not myself.
Garrett. I need Garrett.
"I...I don't know. I don't know if I'm okay. Does that make any sense?"
Of course it doesn't. Don't be so stupid.
"I'm so sorry, guys. I don't really know what to say, I...I...I..."
Her feet finally yielded their stone-cold grip on the floorboards, and she sank to the ground.
"What do we do?"
Juhan was still in shock at what just happened. It was so quick. One minute, everything was perfect, he had four allies he could count on, and there was hope. Hope that his friends wouldn't be part of the announcements and hope that they'd find their way out soon. The next minute, one of his friends had become a murderer, two were already dead. The minute after that, one of his allies was dead, the other had run away.
He had no idea what to do. He was still grieving, still fuming, still a mess. He felt useless. He didn't know if things would've turned out better had he tried to make those two stop, but he could've tried. Yet he just stood there, watching as everything fell apart.
Guess it was time to make himself useful.
He still had two people with him: Takeshi and Bella. Takeshi seemed to be surprisingly calm, given the situation. But Bella? Like china. It was almost impossible to hold back the tears, to not drop to the ground, but he would be worth nothing if he just did that. If he couldn't save Francis or stop Megan, he could at least try keeping together for both of them.
He tried speaking, but his voice came out all hoarse. He cleared his throat and then tried again.
"Uh.. I.. I'm not sure. It wouldn't be good for any of us to stay here. Not at all. Maybe we could go.. go to the town. There might be shelter there. Or we could go to somewhere more isolated like... the golf course? The lighthouse? Anywhere but here."
He had no idea what to do. He was still grieving, still fuming, still a mess. He felt useless. He didn't know if things would've turned out better had he tried to make those two stop, but he could've tried. Yet he just stood there, watching as everything fell apart.
Guess it was time to make himself useful.
He still had two people with him: Takeshi and Bella. Takeshi seemed to be surprisingly calm, given the situation. But Bella? Like china. It was almost impossible to hold back the tears, to not drop to the ground, but he would be worth nothing if he just did that. If he couldn't save Francis or stop Megan, he could at least try keeping together for both of them.
He tried speaking, but his voice came out all hoarse. He cleared his throat and then tried again.
"Uh.. I.. I'm not sure. It wouldn't be good for any of us to stay here. Not at all. Maybe we could go.. go to the town. There might be shelter there. Or we could go to somewhere more isolated like... the golf course? The lighthouse? Anywhere but here."
Takeshi tried not to think about the fact that he'd have to see Francis when he left the classroom. He bit his lower lip thoughtfully as he considered the options presented. He forced himself to be practical. Prudent. No matter what was going on around them, they needed to survive. Maybe if they held on long enough there'd be a rescue mission like there had been the last time this had happened.
Worth it to hope... he told himself.
"We still need to find water. We could be here a while. There might be streams in the woods, or wells in town...and...now's a good a time as any. Since we're leaving, and Francis..." he paused and took a deep breath, trying to center himself. "His things will come in handy. We should decide together what to do with it all before things get any more stressful. I don't want us to have something to fight over later on...I'm sorry, this sounds so heartless..."
He turned away and walked to the window. It was dusty, but he could still see out clearly enough, not that there was much to see. The woods they'd come from, and the ground outside the door where they'd met the girls. He soon had enough of that and turned back around, sinking to the floor.
I didn't even know him, not really. He was just one of the guys I woke up with...went to school with...trapped in this fucking hell in with...not anymore...maybe you're the lucky one, Francis. You'll never have to make the hard choices the rest of us will. I hope it was quick. I hope that your next life is a peaceful one.
"Francis..."
Worth it to hope... he told himself.
"We still need to find water. We could be here a while. There might be streams in the woods, or wells in town...and...now's a good a time as any. Since we're leaving, and Francis..." he paused and took a deep breath, trying to center himself. "His things will come in handy. We should decide together what to do with it all before things get any more stressful. I don't want us to have something to fight over later on...I'm sorry, this sounds so heartless..."
He turned away and walked to the window. It was dusty, but he could still see out clearly enough, not that there was much to see. The woods they'd come from, and the ground outside the door where they'd met the girls. He soon had enough of that and turned back around, sinking to the floor.
I didn't even know him, not really. He was just one of the guys I woke up with...went to school with...trapped in this fucking hell in with...not anymore...maybe you're the lucky one, Francis. You'll never have to make the hard choices the rest of us will. I hope it was quick. I hope that your next life is a peaceful one.
"Francis..."
The atmosphere of the classroom was almost suffocating.
Her eyes itched horribly, but no tears came. Takeshi's mention of water made her think that it was because she hadn't drank for a few hours, but she dismissed it. It was better to pretend that this was the island hardening her up, rather than any natural physiological process. All those years I spent crying over A minuses...I was practically begging for this to happen to me.
"I agree that we should keep moving," she said, pulling her copy of the map from her bag. "We won't achieve very much sitting here, and there's...there's people I want to find."
She briefly scanned over the areas that the boys had suggested. As for her, she had no preference. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I thought I knew Garrett...I should know exactly where he is. After a moment she looked up at the others, even more undecided over their next movement than before.
The boys made for an odd pairing. Juhan almost towered over Takeshi, and his bright blonde hair made for a stark contrast to her and Takeshi's darker hair. She hadn't really noticed it in the darkness, or when she'd been too wrapped up in Megan's runaway and Francis's death to pay either of them any heed. Suddenly the thought dawned on her. Oh god, I haven't even thought about them. They have their own families, their own friends, their own crushes, girlfriends...boyfriends? I've been so concerned for myself that I hadn't even...
"Juhan and Takeshi, I'm so sorry. I hadn't even thought about the two of you," she said, her fingers snaking into her bag to retrieve her pills. "You must think I'm awful."
"Francis...was he a good friend? I didn't know him too well, but he seemed nice enough." Except for claiming that Hansel and I were crazy - no. No no no no no. I can't think like that. It's these bad thoughts that make bad things happen. She placed a hand on Takeshi's shoulder and squeezed it gently, as Garrett had done so often with her.
When the question inevitably came around to Francis's belongings, Bella was surprised to find that the answer came easily to her. "I think that we should keep his personals with us. In case one of us makes it home. We owe his parents that much."
"You decide where you want us to go. I'm not too fussed."
She undid the jar of pills, and took her daily dosage. She didn't want to think about what'd happen when it was empty.
Her eyes itched horribly, but no tears came. Takeshi's mention of water made her think that it was because she hadn't drank for a few hours, but she dismissed it. It was better to pretend that this was the island hardening her up, rather than any natural physiological process. All those years I spent crying over A minuses...I was practically begging for this to happen to me.
"I agree that we should keep moving," she said, pulling her copy of the map from her bag. "We won't achieve very much sitting here, and there's...there's people I want to find."
She briefly scanned over the areas that the boys had suggested. As for her, she had no preference. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I thought I knew Garrett...I should know exactly where he is. After a moment she looked up at the others, even more undecided over their next movement than before.
The boys made for an odd pairing. Juhan almost towered over Takeshi, and his bright blonde hair made for a stark contrast to her and Takeshi's darker hair. She hadn't really noticed it in the darkness, or when she'd been too wrapped up in Megan's runaway and Francis's death to pay either of them any heed. Suddenly the thought dawned on her. Oh god, I haven't even thought about them. They have their own families, their own friends, their own crushes, girlfriends...boyfriends? I've been so concerned for myself that I hadn't even...
"Juhan and Takeshi, I'm so sorry. I hadn't even thought about the two of you," she said, her fingers snaking into her bag to retrieve her pills. "You must think I'm awful."
"Francis...was he a good friend? I didn't know him too well, but he seemed nice enough." Except for claiming that Hansel and I were crazy - no. No no no no no. I can't think like that. It's these bad thoughts that make bad things happen. She placed a hand on Takeshi's shoulder and squeezed it gently, as Garrett had done so often with her.
When the question inevitably came around to Francis's belongings, Bella was surprised to find that the answer came easily to her. "I think that we should keep his personals with us. In case one of us makes it home. We owe his parents that much."
"You decide where you want us to go. I'm not too fussed."
She undid the jar of pills, and took her daily dosage. She didn't want to think about what'd happen when it was empty.
And so it was decided. The three of them would head towards one of the many residential areas the island offered, to find rest and plan in an area actually intended for such things. The shock of the past hour still permeated Bella's mind, although it was gradually ebbing away. That was what shocked her - that she could accept the death of a classmate at the hands of one of her best friends as quickly as she had.
Juhan and Takeshi had agreed to keep Francis's belongings with them, and Bella had tasked herself with placing his personals in her own bag. The loss of her papers and books had provided ample space for what items the poor boy had brought along with him. His family will see his things returned to him. I vow it. As for his designated bag...well that was a heftier issue. Bella and the boys had their own bags to carry, and that in itself was difficult enough. Still...Francis's supplies could help them live a little longer. They could use the extra rations, the extra medical supplies...nevertheless, taking it seemed like they were robbing a corpse. Think logically. It's better us taking it than someone who could use it for the wrong reasons. Yes. We're helping people. It's what Francis would've wanted.
And so, two canvas dufflebags trussed over her shoulders, Bella led the other two boys out into the corridor beyond. She'd never been much of a leader, and while she was happy to have Juhan choose their path, the thought of them having to see Francis's body in such a way as she had troubled her. She couldn't let them see their friend in such a state without her to support them. I won't break my promise this time. I'll keep my head up. I'll comfort them. I won't go into hysterics this time.
She kept her promise.
They shifted Francis's body into a more dignified position, crossing his arms over his chest and making sure his eyes were fully shut. Bella's hands shook all the way through moving him, and her breath was heavy in her throat. All she could notice was how he was still warm. As if he could be sleeping.
They stood by Francis's side for a few minutes, in silence. Bella's mind was a mixture of chaos and emptiness. She'd been robbed of a friend all for something she'd said, and that friend had been robbed of her own innocence as a result. Megan had blood on her hands now. That much was certain. Oh Megan, why? Why did you run? Did you think we wouldn't have forgiven you? Did you think we'd hate you?
Megan was no killer. Bella would find her and tell her that.
But first...Garrett...
((Mirabella Strong, Juhan Levandi, and Takeshi Yoshikawa continued in The two people in the distance were Paulo and Becca))
Juhan and Takeshi had agreed to keep Francis's belongings with them, and Bella had tasked herself with placing his personals in her own bag. The loss of her papers and books had provided ample space for what items the poor boy had brought along with him. His family will see his things returned to him. I vow it. As for his designated bag...well that was a heftier issue. Bella and the boys had their own bags to carry, and that in itself was difficult enough. Still...Francis's supplies could help them live a little longer. They could use the extra rations, the extra medical supplies...nevertheless, taking it seemed like they were robbing a corpse. Think logically. It's better us taking it than someone who could use it for the wrong reasons. Yes. We're helping people. It's what Francis would've wanted.
And so, two canvas dufflebags trussed over her shoulders, Bella led the other two boys out into the corridor beyond. She'd never been much of a leader, and while she was happy to have Juhan choose their path, the thought of them having to see Francis's body in such a way as she had troubled her. She couldn't let them see their friend in such a state without her to support them. I won't break my promise this time. I'll keep my head up. I'll comfort them. I won't go into hysterics this time.
She kept her promise.
They shifted Francis's body into a more dignified position, crossing his arms over his chest and making sure his eyes were fully shut. Bella's hands shook all the way through moving him, and her breath was heavy in her throat. All she could notice was how he was still warm. As if he could be sleeping.
They stood by Francis's side for a few minutes, in silence. Bella's mind was a mixture of chaos and emptiness. She'd been robbed of a friend all for something she'd said, and that friend had been robbed of her own innocence as a result. Megan had blood on her hands now. That much was certain. Oh Megan, why? Why did you run? Did you think we wouldn't have forgiven you? Did you think we'd hate you?
Megan was no killer. Bella would find her and tell her that.
But first...Garrett...
((Mirabella Strong, Juhan Levandi, and Takeshi Yoshikawa continued in The two people in the distance were Paulo and Becca))