((Jessica Romero continued from Don’t Sing))
It had taken longer than Jessica wanted. Truthfully it should have only been half a day, but encountering K and having to double back had cost them time and then the weather had betrayed them. The inclement and heavy snowfall had put Jessica off venturing too far out from the shelter they had found. She had hoped it would have settled down later on in the day, it hadn’t and thanks to their presumed proximity to the arctic circle the days were extremely short on daylight. By the time they’d decided that forging ahead was the only way the sun was beginning to set so they’d had to stay put.
As soon as the sun had risen on the next day Jessica had shaken Beatrice awake and they’d quickly eaten then set off. Food wise the situation was tenable, if not pleasant. But having received access to Mallory’s pack so early had given them so buffer against dehydration and starvation. If the situation became desperate there was a lot of new, fresh snow they had access to.
It was as if a giant duvet had been set over the mountain given how bright white the settled snow was. It was an image from a storybook about Christmas brought to life, and a beautiful and bittersweet reminder that they likely would never see another one.
Jessica pulled her windbreaker tighter and tugged on the drawstrings for her hoodie to tighten it against her beanie and head. She had put all of her available layers on but was lamenting a lack of gloves, so her hands were stuffed into her pockets and the gun sat wedged under her arm. It was a ridiculous looking fit but Jessica was valuing warmth over comfort or fashion.
Ascending the steps up to the hot spring her eyes went wide for a second as her boots slipped across the stone, it had been worn down to a mirror finish from years of foot traffic and was more akin to walking on a slip and slide then rock.
But upon cresting the top of the path they were finally greeted by the hot spring they had spent so long trying to reach. It sat there silent and serene, steam lazily floating off the surface of the water and into the air. The heat of the water itself melted any snow that landed nearby creating a untouched ring of rock. It looked perfect.
For the first time since Bekah had left then Jessica felt herself beginning to smile.
“We made it Beatrice.” She breathed, turning around to give her travel partner a grin through the snow falling around them.
Ordovician
Day 7 - Open
((Beatrice Briggs continued from Don't Sing))
“We’re… really here, huh?”
It was almost an echo of her travelling companion’s sentiment, as she looked up into the sky, blinking away fresh snowfall as it lazily drifted down onto her. Her lips were slightly parted, her dragon’s breath billowing up above her before coalescing with the steam rising up from the water’s surface, forming a hazy, mystical veil around them both. The air was crisp and clear. The gently bubbling water provided the only background noise. Up here, it felt as though the trials and torment that had chased them from the very first day had finally fallen behind. It was just them and the open sky.
She never thought that she would feel on top of the world this far away from home.
It was difficult to keep her attention focused. She wanted to keep her eyes on Jessica as much as she could; the two of them had made this trek together, after all. They had worked together since the moment of Rebekah’s passing, looking out for each other, sharing rations and supplies and taking turns on watch during their scant amount of sleep. They weren’t close enough to being one unit in two bodies, not in the way she had been starting to feel around Rebekah. But that was one of the reasons why Beatrice had wanted to reach this point so badly with her. She knew almost nothing about her ally, outside of her name. Their interactions before this moment had consisted of either silently walking together, or… various instances that she doubted either of them wanted to linger for too long on. This was the perfect opportunity to get to know more about Jessica. To actually know who she was spending time with.
But the snow. And the sky. And the sights spread around them, here from their little plateau of safety. Everything was dusted in bright, perfect whiteness, like the tops of the little chocolate muffins her mom occasionally made for parties and special events. Beatrice had accidentally knocked the box of icing sugar off of the counter once, when she was much younger. Much like the slopes and precipices that lay before them, it had absolutely covered the floor and the countertops, and Beatrice herself. She had cried a lot, back then. Now, it just placed a wistful, hopeful smile on her face.
It really was easy to forget where, exactly, they all were, standing up here.
“I didn’t actually think we’d make it here, for the longest time,” she continued, raising her voice to make sure she was heard over the mountain air, and with her back to Jessica. She started walking, closer to the lip of the hot spring, to get a better view over the mountain’s edge. Her footsteps were slow and shuffling ones; she had seen how close her partner had come to slipping when they’d been ascending the stairs. She had thrown her arm out to try and break Jessica’s fall, and she felt confident that the girl would do the same for her. But even so, she would rather things didn’t come to that, if she could help it.
“But we made it, we really did and… oh, it looks so beautiful from up here!”
Beatrice turned around, still slow and steady, a huge grin plastered on her face, as warm as the spring she was standing next to.
“I always loved it when it snowed, you know. Even if that meant lacrosse had to be cancelled because the ground was frozen solid. It makes everything feel so peaceful and calm. It’s so quiet. And even though it’s as cold as can be outside, it still feels so cozy and warm, with everybody bundled up.”
She was flapping her hands now in her excitement, the zippers on her jacket, now tightly done up to wrap her up against the cold, clattering against themselves as she did so.
“Whenever it snowed back home, me and my brothers would go out into the yard to have snowball fights and build snowmen, things like that, although mine always turned more into little snow mounds instead. And sometimes, our next-door neighbours would invite us round because they had a couple of sleds, and knew where the best hills to take them were. And I knew that even when my fingertips started feeling numb and I couldn’t feel the tip of my nose, I could always come back someplace safe and warm again at the end of it all.”
Beatrice smiled wistfully, glancing up into the sky. She opened her mouth to murmur something.
“I wish that-”
She realised a little too late that she had overstepped the mark, and her mouth shut tight, her face falling slightly. They both wished for the same thing, of course. They should have all been here together, as a trio. They had brought her here, in a sense. They had done everything they could, with everything they had been left. She would have loved it here, she knew.
So here, part of her would remain.
“Um… Sorry. Should we, um… get in? The spring, I mean. I don’t know what… should we get changed? Where do you think we should put our stuff?”
It was a familiar feeling of uncertainty, of delegating questions about the unfamiliar. But at least it was about something as innocent and innocuous as this. That, in itself, was a measure of comfort.
“We’re… really here, huh?”
It was almost an echo of her travelling companion’s sentiment, as she looked up into the sky, blinking away fresh snowfall as it lazily drifted down onto her. Her lips were slightly parted, her dragon’s breath billowing up above her before coalescing with the steam rising up from the water’s surface, forming a hazy, mystical veil around them both. The air was crisp and clear. The gently bubbling water provided the only background noise. Up here, it felt as though the trials and torment that had chased them from the very first day had finally fallen behind. It was just them and the open sky.
She never thought that she would feel on top of the world this far away from home.
It was difficult to keep her attention focused. She wanted to keep her eyes on Jessica as much as she could; the two of them had made this trek together, after all. They had worked together since the moment of Rebekah’s passing, looking out for each other, sharing rations and supplies and taking turns on watch during their scant amount of sleep. They weren’t close enough to being one unit in two bodies, not in the way she had been starting to feel around Rebekah. But that was one of the reasons why Beatrice had wanted to reach this point so badly with her. She knew almost nothing about her ally, outside of her name. Their interactions before this moment had consisted of either silently walking together, or… various instances that she doubted either of them wanted to linger for too long on. This was the perfect opportunity to get to know more about Jessica. To actually know who she was spending time with.
But the snow. And the sky. And the sights spread around them, here from their little plateau of safety. Everything was dusted in bright, perfect whiteness, like the tops of the little chocolate muffins her mom occasionally made for parties and special events. Beatrice had accidentally knocked the box of icing sugar off of the counter once, when she was much younger. Much like the slopes and precipices that lay before them, it had absolutely covered the floor and the countertops, and Beatrice herself. She had cried a lot, back then. Now, it just placed a wistful, hopeful smile on her face.
It really was easy to forget where, exactly, they all were, standing up here.
“I didn’t actually think we’d make it here, for the longest time,” she continued, raising her voice to make sure she was heard over the mountain air, and with her back to Jessica. She started walking, closer to the lip of the hot spring, to get a better view over the mountain’s edge. Her footsteps were slow and shuffling ones; she had seen how close her partner had come to slipping when they’d been ascending the stairs. She had thrown her arm out to try and break Jessica’s fall, and she felt confident that the girl would do the same for her. But even so, she would rather things didn’t come to that, if she could help it.
“But we made it, we really did and… oh, it looks so beautiful from up here!”
Beatrice turned around, still slow and steady, a huge grin plastered on her face, as warm as the spring she was standing next to.
“I always loved it when it snowed, you know. Even if that meant lacrosse had to be cancelled because the ground was frozen solid. It makes everything feel so peaceful and calm. It’s so quiet. And even though it’s as cold as can be outside, it still feels so cozy and warm, with everybody bundled up.”
She was flapping her hands now in her excitement, the zippers on her jacket, now tightly done up to wrap her up against the cold, clattering against themselves as she did so.
“Whenever it snowed back home, me and my brothers would go out into the yard to have snowball fights and build snowmen, things like that, although mine always turned more into little snow mounds instead. And sometimes, our next-door neighbours would invite us round because they had a couple of sleds, and knew where the best hills to take them were. And I knew that even when my fingertips started feeling numb and I couldn’t feel the tip of my nose, I could always come back someplace safe and warm again at the end of it all.”
Beatrice smiled wistfully, glancing up into the sky. She opened her mouth to murmur something.
“I wish that-”
She realised a little too late that she had overstepped the mark, and her mouth shut tight, her face falling slightly. They both wished for the same thing, of course. They should have all been here together, as a trio. They had brought her here, in a sense. They had done everything they could, with everything they had been left. She would have loved it here, she knew.
So here, part of her would remain.
“Um… Sorry. Should we, um… get in? The spring, I mean. I don’t know what… should we get changed? Where do you think we should put our stuff?”
It was a familiar feeling of uncertainty, of delegating questions about the unfamiliar. But at least it was about something as innocent and innocuous as this. That, in itself, was a measure of comfort.
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
“It does,” Jessica agreed, smile still on her face as she followed behind her traveling companion. She had the feeling that maybe Beatrice hadn’t been out hiking much or at least hadn’t been to many parks with similar vistas. It was always fun to see people’s first reactions to the pure beauty nature was able to create. The awe and joy it inspired within them. Jessica thought back to her first time in Yosemite, driving down the road and seeing El Capitan appearing in front of their car in real time. There was no other feeling like it.
As Beatrice approached the edge of the hot spring Jessica put one knee to the floor and took her bag off her back, pulling it open and rooting around inside for the first aid kit. She looked up and listened to Beatrice’s story, of how she and her brothers used to have snowball fights in the winter. The excitement she showed made Jessica smile again. She didn’t have any siblings but Beatrice made it sound so nice, just two friends who would always be there for you and who you could always rely on.
When Beatrice nearly brought up Bekah then started asking about the spring Jessica withdrew the first aid kit.
“Before we do anything,” She started, flipping the lid open. “We need to make sure she gets here.”
Taking the strands of Bekah’s hair on her hands Jessica carefully split them up into two equal piles—or at least as equal as she could make them.
“Here,” She said, holding her right hand out for Beatrice. Her hand was scrunched into a fist to make sure they didn’t blow away before it was time. “If you have anything you want to say…I guess uh…yeah…” Her voice trembled slightly and grew softer before she regained her composure. “If you want to say something for her, go ahead then we can scatter them.”
As Beatrice approached the edge of the hot spring Jessica put one knee to the floor and took her bag off her back, pulling it open and rooting around inside for the first aid kit. She looked up and listened to Beatrice’s story, of how she and her brothers used to have snowball fights in the winter. The excitement she showed made Jessica smile again. She didn’t have any siblings but Beatrice made it sound so nice, just two friends who would always be there for you and who you could always rely on.
When Beatrice nearly brought up Bekah then started asking about the spring Jessica withdrew the first aid kit.
“Before we do anything,” She started, flipping the lid open. “We need to make sure she gets here.”
Taking the strands of Bekah’s hair on her hands Jessica carefully split them up into two equal piles—or at least as equal as she could make them.
“Here,” She said, holding her right hand out for Beatrice. Her hand was scrunched into a fist to make sure they didn’t blow away before it was time. “If you have anything you want to say…I guess uh…yeah…” Her voice trembled slightly and grew softer before she regained her composure. “If you want to say something for her, go ahead then we can scatter them.”
Of course. Oh, of course, Jessica was correct. Lost in her reverie, Beatrice had almost forgotten the other perfect reason they had made their way up here. Rebekah was still here with them. She was still alive, clutched in a tight fist. It would be churlish not to let her experience such a beautiful sanctuary before they did anything else.
Beatrice nodded, walking closer to her companion, holding out her own right hand, palm up and palm flat, pressing it to the underside of Jessica’s own. Their eyes met, for a moment. She saw bright, shiny irises, reflecting the sparkling fresh snow. There were tears, lingering in each corner, but they were wide, alert, ready. It was heavy work that they were about to do, a reminder of the tragedy that had befallen them. Her eyes shone through it all regardless. They had all made it, in the end.
She couldn’t tell if that was truly what she was seeing, or if it was just a projection of herself onto those brown eyes.
“Okay. I’ll give it a shot. Um…”
Public speaking was, perhaps, the antithesis of everything Beatrice was comfortable with. Doing so without a script, or even the most basic of outlines, would have been enough to turn her into a trembling, stuttering, weeping mess normally. It would have felt wrong not to say anything, though. Even if she stumbled her way through it, or burst into tears midway through, she needed to gift her friend something, before she took her rest here.
“I think that, back in the forest, that was the first time I’d actually properly spoken to Rebekah, um, at all, really. I didn’t know very much about her when you bumped into me, and I didn’t really get the chance to find out more. I got some idea of how much she loved animals, and nature, and… um, well, I didn’t know her. And she didn’t know me. And when you found me, I wasn’t in a great spot.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, clearing her throat to hide the tremor that had snuck its way into her voice.
“But she… she gave me a chance. And she helped me stay tethered, when all I wanted to do was to scream, and to curl up in a ball and cry. It felt so easy to be calm around her, to, um, to stay grounded. She was strong, and she was kind, and so I wanted to be brave, just like her, in whatever way I could be.”
Her lip wobbled. She could feel her shoulders shaking. She looked past Jessica, at the faint wisps of steam drifting over snowcaps, drifting up to the peak of the mountain, and beyond it into the clouds themselves.
“She’ll… she’ll love it here. It’s so serene, and… look, there’s a flock of birds, flying over that point of the coastline. You can see them so clearly here. I… I don’t know what they’re called. She’d probably be able to tell. Um…”
Beatrice chewed the inside of her cheek, her voice finally faltering to the point she couldn’t carry on any longer. She blinked the sting away from her eyes, looking back at Jessica once again.
“I, um… Okay. Did you have anything you wanted to say?”
Beatrice nodded, walking closer to her companion, holding out her own right hand, palm up and palm flat, pressing it to the underside of Jessica’s own. Their eyes met, for a moment. She saw bright, shiny irises, reflecting the sparkling fresh snow. There were tears, lingering in each corner, but they were wide, alert, ready. It was heavy work that they were about to do, a reminder of the tragedy that had befallen them. Her eyes shone through it all regardless. They had all made it, in the end.
She couldn’t tell if that was truly what she was seeing, or if it was just a projection of herself onto those brown eyes.
“Okay. I’ll give it a shot. Um…”
Public speaking was, perhaps, the antithesis of everything Beatrice was comfortable with. Doing so without a script, or even the most basic of outlines, would have been enough to turn her into a trembling, stuttering, weeping mess normally. It would have felt wrong not to say anything, though. Even if she stumbled her way through it, or burst into tears midway through, she needed to gift her friend something, before she took her rest here.
“I think that, back in the forest, that was the first time I’d actually properly spoken to Rebekah, um, at all, really. I didn’t know very much about her when you bumped into me, and I didn’t really get the chance to find out more. I got some idea of how much she loved animals, and nature, and… um, well, I didn’t know her. And she didn’t know me. And when you found me, I wasn’t in a great spot.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, clearing her throat to hide the tremor that had snuck its way into her voice.
“But she… she gave me a chance. And she helped me stay tethered, when all I wanted to do was to scream, and to curl up in a ball and cry. It felt so easy to be calm around her, to, um, to stay grounded. She was strong, and she was kind, and so I wanted to be brave, just like her, in whatever way I could be.”
Her lip wobbled. She could feel her shoulders shaking. She looked past Jessica, at the faint wisps of steam drifting over snowcaps, drifting up to the peak of the mountain, and beyond it into the clouds themselves.
“She’ll… she’ll love it here. It’s so serene, and… look, there’s a flock of birds, flying over that point of the coastline. You can see them so clearly here. I… I don’t know what they’re called. She’d probably be able to tell. Um…”
Beatrice chewed the inside of her cheek, her voice finally faltering to the point she couldn’t carry on any longer. She blinked the sting away from her eyes, looking back at Jessica once again.
“I, um… Okay. Did you have anything you wanted to say?”
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
Jessica listened to everything Beatrice said and tried to figure out her own message. Her own set of words to sum up her relationship with a girl she'd only really known for around four days and yet she felt like they'd become close friends. Two people who shared the initial trauma of the island they woke up on and became three once they found Beatrice. Truthfully Jessica had no idea what would have happened to her if Rebekah hadn't been there, even as she had initially resented the other girl for not helping or trusting her with Mallory.
But Rebekah had looked after her while she had been injured and then stuck with Beatrice despite Jessica's own doubts. The lesson was that Rebekah was a better person than she was, which gave Jessica pause. She'd always considered herself a good person but Rebekah was actually a good person. If Jessica had her way they would have left Beatrice in the woods and never would have had a group and maybe Beatrice wouldn't have lasted as long, which was a dark thought.
When Beatrice finished, Jessica rubbed her eyes with her free hand and let out a sigh.
"I...uh..." She started, still trying to find the words to elegantly convey just how much Rebekah had ended up meaning to her despite the short time they were together.
"I wish we'd met back at JEM," She began, pausing to collect herself before continuing. "And had been able to spend some summers together, so, so we could have gone to see some of the parks like Yosemite or Glacier. I..." Jessica trailed off and rubbed her eyes again. "I wish we'd had more time and that I wasn't being a bitch for half of it."
But Rebekah had looked after her while she had been injured and then stuck with Beatrice despite Jessica's own doubts. The lesson was that Rebekah was a better person than she was, which gave Jessica pause. She'd always considered herself a good person but Rebekah was actually a good person. If Jessica had her way they would have left Beatrice in the woods and never would have had a group and maybe Beatrice wouldn't have lasted as long, which was a dark thought.
When Beatrice finished, Jessica rubbed her eyes with her free hand and let out a sigh.
"I...uh..." She started, still trying to find the words to elegantly convey just how much Rebekah had ended up meaning to her despite the short time they were together.
"I wish we'd met back at JEM," She began, pausing to collect herself before continuing. "And had been able to spend some summers together, so, so we could have gone to see some of the parks like Yosemite or Glacier. I..." Jessica trailed off and rubbed her eyes again. "I wish we'd had more time and that I wasn't being a bitch for half of it."
It was difficult to remain steady while Jessica spoke her piece.
The task had been a near-impossible one towards the end of her own little speech. Hearing someone else talk about all the things they wished they’d known about Rebekah, all the misspent time they wished they’d used better, all the things they would never get a chance to do together now, that was perilously close to bursting down the dam walls and rendering her little more than a blubbering, shaking wreck.
It sounded wonderful, Jessica’s dream for a national park trip. That was a statement that would likely surprise those closest to her. Beatrice had never particularly been one for hiking or camping before now; the former had always put her on edge, the idea of intentionally putting yourself out into the wilderness, as far from comfort and safety as you could get, away from anything that could keep you tethered to the level of sanity you needed to be at. As for the latter, she had been inside a tent before. Just once, but it had been more than enough. It had felt custom-designed to hit every single level of discomfort, from the horrible texture of the tent itself, to the stifling, claustrophobic feeling of being wrapped inside a sleeping bag.
But she had been put through the worst of both worlds on this island. She had been dragged through sensations that had made her skin crawl, and experiences that would live on forever in the darkest recesses of her mind. And she was still managing to smile on the other side of it. She wondered if she could ever have become friends with Jessica and Rebekah, when they were all back at school. The sort of friends that would make plans to stay together, even after they had all graduated, and that would follow through with those plans. The sort of friends that she could trust to step into the unknown alongside, that she would willingly face discomfort to spend time with.
She would never know for sure. Nobody would ever know.
Beatrice wanted to let go and let the tears flow; she could feel her shoulders tensing up, her hands ball into fists, the lump in her throat pressing against her skin. This wasn’t her moment, though. It was Jessica’s time, her opportunity to reminisce. She would let her companion’s emotions drift across the mountaintops, uninterrupted. She didn’t have her axe in her hands right at this moment; she had placed it on the ground in order to take the lock of hair in her fist. So instead, she placed her free hand flat against the outside of her thigh, her fingers drumming that same, soothing rhythm against her jeans.
Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. The piano at the funeral, coming to a close.
“I think… um…”
Beatrice started to speak, then trailed away as she realised she didn’t actually know what she thought after all. She sniffed, batted at her eyes with the back of her hand, then held out her other hand, clutched tight around its precious cargo.
“Shall we?”
She looked into Jessica’s eyes.
“I can count us down from three, if you want. Um… so, I suppose…”
Deep breaths. Deep, frigid, cleansing breaths. She looked at her partner, and her mouth slowly morphed into a sad, gentle smile.
“Three… two… one.”
Her fingers unlaced, and Rebekah caught on the wind, drifting out across the snow in front of them both.
The task had been a near-impossible one towards the end of her own little speech. Hearing someone else talk about all the things they wished they’d known about Rebekah, all the misspent time they wished they’d used better, all the things they would never get a chance to do together now, that was perilously close to bursting down the dam walls and rendering her little more than a blubbering, shaking wreck.
It sounded wonderful, Jessica’s dream for a national park trip. That was a statement that would likely surprise those closest to her. Beatrice had never particularly been one for hiking or camping before now; the former had always put her on edge, the idea of intentionally putting yourself out into the wilderness, as far from comfort and safety as you could get, away from anything that could keep you tethered to the level of sanity you needed to be at. As for the latter, she had been inside a tent before. Just once, but it had been more than enough. It had felt custom-designed to hit every single level of discomfort, from the horrible texture of the tent itself, to the stifling, claustrophobic feeling of being wrapped inside a sleeping bag.
But she had been put through the worst of both worlds on this island. She had been dragged through sensations that had made her skin crawl, and experiences that would live on forever in the darkest recesses of her mind. And she was still managing to smile on the other side of it. She wondered if she could ever have become friends with Jessica and Rebekah, when they were all back at school. The sort of friends that would make plans to stay together, even after they had all graduated, and that would follow through with those plans. The sort of friends that she could trust to step into the unknown alongside, that she would willingly face discomfort to spend time with.
She would never know for sure. Nobody would ever know.
Beatrice wanted to let go and let the tears flow; she could feel her shoulders tensing up, her hands ball into fists, the lump in her throat pressing against her skin. This wasn’t her moment, though. It was Jessica’s time, her opportunity to reminisce. She would let her companion’s emotions drift across the mountaintops, uninterrupted. She didn’t have her axe in her hands right at this moment; she had placed it on the ground in order to take the lock of hair in her fist. So instead, she placed her free hand flat against the outside of her thigh, her fingers drumming that same, soothing rhythm against her jeans.
Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. The piano at the funeral, coming to a close.
“I think… um…”
Beatrice started to speak, then trailed away as she realised she didn’t actually know what she thought after all. She sniffed, batted at her eyes with the back of her hand, then held out her other hand, clutched tight around its precious cargo.
“Shall we?”
She looked into Jessica’s eyes.
“I can count us down from three, if you want. Um… so, I suppose…”
Deep breaths. Deep, frigid, cleansing breaths. She looked at her partner, and her mouth slowly morphed into a sad, gentle smile.
“Three… two… one.”
Her fingers unlaced, and Rebekah caught on the wind, drifting out across the snow in front of them both.
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
Her fist opened and Bekah’s hairs drifted free, dancing along the wind and disappearing into the snow. Jessica blinked as tears slowly rolled down her cheeks, before wiping them away.
It was done. They’d fulfilled the promise they’d made to themselves. Rebekah’s memory had been honoured and they’d done the best they could to honour the last desire she’d had on the island. Wherever she was or had ended up they had that. It didn’t make up for the cruel randomness of her death but it was the least they could do.
But Jessica realised that with their task completed it meant they had no goal, nothing to focus on. Not that they truly had before, but Rebekah had been good at imbuing even their lost wandering with some form of goal, no matter how nebulous it may have seemed.
With their final promised fulfilled however they had nothing. No goal or aim. Just an empty space where a friend used to be. As they stood there Jessica thought about how Rebekah would have navigated the situation, even if she wasn’t there with them she could still lead by example.
Jessica took a deep breath and closed her eyes before reopening them and focusing on Beatrice.
“There’s probably people, classmates, uh our classmates. There’s probably some of them out there that need help.”
She glanced away and scratched her cheek.
“We should try and find them and help them right?”
It was done. They’d fulfilled the promise they’d made to themselves. Rebekah’s memory had been honoured and they’d done the best they could to honour the last desire she’d had on the island. Wherever she was or had ended up they had that. It didn’t make up for the cruel randomness of her death but it was the least they could do.
But Jessica realised that with their task completed it meant they had no goal, nothing to focus on. Not that they truly had before, but Rebekah had been good at imbuing even their lost wandering with some form of goal, no matter how nebulous it may have seemed.
With their final promised fulfilled however they had nothing. No goal or aim. Just an empty space where a friend used to be. As they stood there Jessica thought about how Rebekah would have navigated the situation, even if she wasn’t there with them she could still lead by example.
Jessica took a deep breath and closed her eyes before reopening them and focusing on Beatrice.
“There’s probably people, classmates, uh our classmates. There’s probably some of them out there that need help.”
She glanced away and scratched her cheek.
“We should try and find them and help them right?”
She was barely afforded a moment to watch as Rebekah disappeared into the distance, or to let her tears roll free and merge with the snow around her feet, or for the aching feeling in her chest to grow stronger and stronger and stronger still until it felt like it would turn into a black hole and devour everything inside of her before spitting everything back out and reforming her whole again with something new in place of the gap that had been there minutes previously, before Jessica spoke up, and suggested what they should do next.
It didn’t feel right. It didn’t seem fair. They had been afforded their minute of silence, and now that was over it was time to get back to work. The wake would be held with the looming spectre of ‘What comes next?’ hanging over it. No time allowed even to sob before there were tasks to be done. What kind of a world was that?
Beatrice did not blame Jessica, of course. Because she knew that the other girl was in the exact same boat as she was (it had taken her a while to understand what her dad had meant by that saying) and that she was hurting in the exact same way, and because, despite the injustice of it all, she knew as well that they had to keep on planning for the future. Whenever they stopped, the island kept moving. If they stood still for too long, they would never be able to catch up. If they stayed here to rest without any idea of what they would do afterwards, how easy would it be to just keep that rest going for as long as possible?
Maybe there would be some measure of peace in that, doing nothing until whatever end awaited for them finally arrived. But there were still things they could do. Still things Beatrice wanted to do with her life. She sniffed again, and took another deep and shaking breath. She looked back at Jessica and she nodded.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
She spoke simply, quietly. She had never seen the need to overcomplicate things, to speak in paragraphs when sentences would do. If ever a moment had required that line of thought, it was this one.
“There’s… going to be people hurt the same way we are. And there’s going to be others who never got a chance to be hurt the same way we are, because everyone they cared for was… already gone. I don’t know how much I can do to help, but…”
Beatrice looked down at the ground. She scuffed the toe of her right boot into the snow. She looked up again, and a hint of steel flashed across her eyes as she spoke.
“... I couldn’t bear to think that there were people, classmates, uh, friends out there who needed a hand, and I didn’t at least try and stretch an arm out towards them. So, um…”
She nodded again, and chewed the inside of her bottom lip.
“Let’s… let’s do our best.”
It didn’t feel right. It didn’t seem fair. They had been afforded their minute of silence, and now that was over it was time to get back to work. The wake would be held with the looming spectre of ‘What comes next?’ hanging over it. No time allowed even to sob before there were tasks to be done. What kind of a world was that?
Beatrice did not blame Jessica, of course. Because she knew that the other girl was in the exact same boat as she was (it had taken her a while to understand what her dad had meant by that saying) and that she was hurting in the exact same way, and because, despite the injustice of it all, she knew as well that they had to keep on planning for the future. Whenever they stopped, the island kept moving. If they stood still for too long, they would never be able to catch up. If they stayed here to rest without any idea of what they would do afterwards, how easy would it be to just keep that rest going for as long as possible?
Maybe there would be some measure of peace in that, doing nothing until whatever end awaited for them finally arrived. But there were still things they could do. Still things Beatrice wanted to do with her life. She sniffed again, and took another deep and shaking breath. She looked back at Jessica and she nodded.
“Yeah. You’re right.”
She spoke simply, quietly. She had never seen the need to overcomplicate things, to speak in paragraphs when sentences would do. If ever a moment had required that line of thought, it was this one.
“There’s… going to be people hurt the same way we are. And there’s going to be others who never got a chance to be hurt the same way we are, because everyone they cared for was… already gone. I don’t know how much I can do to help, but…”
Beatrice looked down at the ground. She scuffed the toe of her right boot into the snow. She looked up again, and a hint of steel flashed across her eyes as she spoke.
“... I couldn’t bear to think that there were people, classmates, uh, friends out there who needed a hand, and I didn’t at least try and stretch an arm out towards them. So, um…”
She nodded again, and chewed the inside of her bottom lip.
“Let’s… let’s do our best.”
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
Beatrice agreed with her idea. They didn’t have a plan of how they’d enact it. But they hadn’t had a plan since waking up. They’d only recently been operating with a larger goal beyond going to a specific place.
Jessica crouched down by the hot springs edge and ran her hand through the warm water, enjoying the feeling on her skin. It was the first time any part of her had felt warm since they’d boarded the buses a week ago. Back then she hadn’t even properly met Rebekah or Beatrice. If they’d ended up making it to the ski resort she likely would have never known them.
Who else was out on the island who needed support from someone, anyone else. They would be out there, people like her and Beatrice, who had needed someone when they’d first met Rebekah or like her cousin, Leslie. He was out on the island somewhere too. She hadn’t heard his name on the announcements. She hoped he was still okay.
They wouldn’t be able to save them, not from the situation itself. Jessica didn’t think herself smart enough to pull off an escape plan. She’d never really considered it, not seriously. If she had to guess she would have said that like everyone else she’d had the thoughts, considering the idea of escape, before discarding it. She wasn’t smart enough and couldn’t handle the responsibility of guiding a group of people who were relying on her to keep them alive.
Jessica nodded and allowed herself a smile as Beatrice said they should do their best. It was all they could do. But maybe it would be enough. It was certainly better than giving up, or choosing to kill their classmates.
“Yeah,” She said, removing her hand from the spring and shaking the excess water off. “Let’s go and offer them a hand.”
As they made their way back down to the steps Jessica turned and took one last look at the hot springs, saying a silent farewell to Rebekah before turning and beginning the descent back into the game.
((Jessica Romero continued elsewhere…))
Jessica crouched down by the hot springs edge and ran her hand through the warm water, enjoying the feeling on her skin. It was the first time any part of her had felt warm since they’d boarded the buses a week ago. Back then she hadn’t even properly met Rebekah or Beatrice. If they’d ended up making it to the ski resort she likely would have never known them.
Who else was out on the island who needed support from someone, anyone else. They would be out there, people like her and Beatrice, who had needed someone when they’d first met Rebekah or like her cousin, Leslie. He was out on the island somewhere too. She hadn’t heard his name on the announcements. She hoped he was still okay.
They wouldn’t be able to save them, not from the situation itself. Jessica didn’t think herself smart enough to pull off an escape plan. She’d never really considered it, not seriously. If she had to guess she would have said that like everyone else she’d had the thoughts, considering the idea of escape, before discarding it. She wasn’t smart enough and couldn’t handle the responsibility of guiding a group of people who were relying on her to keep them alive.
Jessica nodded and allowed herself a smile as Beatrice said they should do their best. It was all they could do. But maybe it would be enough. It was certainly better than giving up, or choosing to kill their classmates.
“Yeah,” She said, removing her hand from the spring and shaking the excess water off. “Let’s go and offer them a hand.”
As they made their way back down to the steps Jessica turned and took one last look at the hot springs, saying a silent farewell to Rebekah before turning and beginning the descent back into the game.
((Jessica Romero continued elsewhere…))
Maybe it was for the best that they didn’t get an opportunity to dip into the hot spring properly. Beatrice still wasn’t certain how you were supposed to go about doing so, whether she would need to fully strip off, or whether she could at least keep her underwear on. She would have to get undressed either way, and to make a choice; expose herself to the elements, or to Jessica? She didn’t have a towel, or anything like that in her bag, so it would have been a struggle to dry herself off, and she knew how unpleasant it was to be like that - and how dangerous, too. Frostbite and hypothermia were already a serious threat in this sort of weather, in this kind of location. Remaining damp would only increase her chances of, at the very best, catching a cold. And she still wasn’t sure whether she’d even like the sensation of being in the hot spring water.
All these rational, logical things, and she still couldn’t convince herself of any of them.
Even if it was just for five minutes, even if it was just a quick in-out with barely any time to sit down, wouldn’t it have been nice to just relax for a moment? To take a dip, to let the water surround you, to gaze up into the hazy sky overhead? Maybe the spring would help to soothe the aches and pains and bruises that had accumulated over the past week. Maybe she would actually get that chance to talk things out with Jessica.
She’d already gone over why that would only ever be wishful thinking, though. If they didn’t have time to grieve, they certainly didn’t have time to rest - not to this extent, at least.
She did feel closer to Jessica, at least. She supposed that was just natural, when you shared your sorrow with somebody else, and opened your heart to how exactly that feeling of loss had left you. There was still work to be done in bridging whatever gaps remained between them, but any start, even the smallest, could be the beginnings of something truly great.
Her dad loved to say that. He said it all the time, especially when Beatrice was getting frustrated or struggling to grasp something. God she missed him. She missed all of them so, so much, more than any of the words she could conjure up would ever properly convey. And Jessica, she was sure, had people back home she felt the exact same way about.
Beatrice nodded, looking out over the plateau for a moment, gaze lingering on the rising steam, on Rebekah’s presence drifting in the air. As she turned back, she saw that Jessica had already started her descent, a couple of steps ahead now. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to think on her feet. She didn’t want another long, silent trek, to wherever they would end up next. And she did have something she’d been wanting to ask. Yes, it would have been nicer to do so in the warmth of the spring water, but that time was behind them now.
“Hey, um, I was wondering something.”
She followed behind her companion, about half a yard between them, slow and steady steps as she took each stair one at a time.
“Do you prefer ‘Jessica’ or ‘Jess’? Just because, um…”
The smallest start. The foundation for even the biggest gap.
((Beatrice Briggs continued in This Version of You))
All these rational, logical things, and she still couldn’t convince herself of any of them.
Even if it was just for five minutes, even if it was just a quick in-out with barely any time to sit down, wouldn’t it have been nice to just relax for a moment? To take a dip, to let the water surround you, to gaze up into the hazy sky overhead? Maybe the spring would help to soothe the aches and pains and bruises that had accumulated over the past week. Maybe she would actually get that chance to talk things out with Jessica.
She’d already gone over why that would only ever be wishful thinking, though. If they didn’t have time to grieve, they certainly didn’t have time to rest - not to this extent, at least.
She did feel closer to Jessica, at least. She supposed that was just natural, when you shared your sorrow with somebody else, and opened your heart to how exactly that feeling of loss had left you. There was still work to be done in bridging whatever gaps remained between them, but any start, even the smallest, could be the beginnings of something truly great.
Her dad loved to say that. He said it all the time, especially when Beatrice was getting frustrated or struggling to grasp something. God she missed him. She missed all of them so, so much, more than any of the words she could conjure up would ever properly convey. And Jessica, she was sure, had people back home she felt the exact same way about.
Beatrice nodded, looking out over the plateau for a moment, gaze lingering on the rising steam, on Rebekah’s presence drifting in the air. As she turned back, she saw that Jessica had already started her descent, a couple of steps ahead now. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to think on her feet. She didn’t want another long, silent trek, to wherever they would end up next. And she did have something she’d been wanting to ask. Yes, it would have been nicer to do so in the warmth of the spring water, but that time was behind them now.
“Hey, um, I was wondering something.”
She followed behind her companion, about half a yard between them, slow and steady steps as she took each stair one at a time.
“Do you prefer ‘Jessica’ or ‘Jess’? Just because, um…”
The smallest start. The foundation for even the biggest gap.
((Beatrice Briggs continued in This Version of You))
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017