The V6 Read-A-Thon

[Maraoone]

hits

Prim: Conrad Harrod

[Tonyksin]

I'd like a go

[Maraoone]

a child for you

Tonyk: Rea Adams

[Ruggahissy]

Can I get an F in the chat for me

[Slam]

No promises about speed but sure why not.

[Maraoone]

here you go!

Slam: Isabel Ramirez

[Slam]

Swiggity Swooty I'm reviewing that Isooty:

[+] Isabel Ramirez

I had my prior notions going into Isabel. I’ve said in the past that I don’t like her as a character, but I’d never actually read her in full before, just in snippets. There’s a lesson to be had there about not being judgemental of characters without knowing the whole story, so I’ll apologise to Maddie pre-emptively for doing her a disservice.

Isabel is, of course, well known as one of the biggest players in SOTF, despite (or perhaps due to) being dead by the halfway mark. I’ve heard rumour that she was made as a send-up to v2 killers. I haven’t read v2, so I can’t compare, but she certainly sends up kills. At seven kills over fourteen threads and six days, Isabel keeps busy.

The first thing I’d like to touch on is Isabel’s characterisation. V2 has a reputation for crazies and psychos, and given the bloodthirsty nature of Isabel and how messy some, nay, most of her kills are, it’d be easy to pigeonhole her into that camp. But I don’t think that’s very fair.

Isabel’s profile screams of a repressed, angry girl ready to lash out. The island dumps her in a position to do exactly that. What’s notable in spite of this is that Isabel does not come across as a pre-made player in her profile. Her reasons for being frustrated are believable and understandable, her actions are logical, and her existence is believable. She’s the girl in high school you wouldn’t want to bump into in the lunchroom on one of her bad days, and she’s the girl on the island you wouldn’t want to bump into on any of her SOTF days.

Even at her most sadistic, I can understand her (whatever that says about me). She’s tearing people open because it gives her sweet catharsis, and kills two birds with one stone by also increasing her survival chances. The first kill of Tina reflects this, with her justifying it as a necessary evil, before deciding ‘lol fuck it’ and killing Conrad too for shits and giggles.

Now, if you want an evolving, nuanced character, Isabel probably isn’t the one you’re after. She is more or less the same person at the end of her arc as she is at the start, just with a few more bumps and bruises and bodies behind her. She also isn’t exceptionally subtle in how she’s written, and there are a few times where her voice starts to feel a bit inconsistent with regards to how she views her island experience and relationship with murder. It’s not enough to pull you out, but you might have to read through twice to check what she’s thinking at any given time.

Still, this might be the sort of thing you’re looking for. I think with Isabel, if you go in expecting a more typical ‘average high school faced with the madness’ sort of SOTF story, you might wind up disappointed. If you go in knowing she’s a serial killer, and expect her to act like a serial killer, then Maddie delivers quite well in terms of character and performance.

Let’s discuss how that impacts her role on the plot. SOTF needs killers to work, otherwise there’s no moral conflict, tension, or kids surviving more than one day. At times we can be quick to write off spree killers for being flat or dull, and those can be valid at times. As I mentioned, I don’t consider Isabel an exceptionally deep character. I would not say that makes her dull.

Why do killers work? Because of their interactions. Consider Kazuo Kiriyama from the original Battle Royale. Kazuo is also a rather flat character: regardless of which version you’re reading, he just plays because he’s got nothing better to do, and doesn’t emote or dialogue much with his kills. Isabel is in fact far more personable than this, but that’s not the point.

When Kazuo walks into any of his scenes, he’s about to fuck shit up for the other person, unless he gets fucked up by the other person. It’s the same for Isabel.

Isabel is a drama motivator. Whether it’s providing powerful death scenes, giving people motivation, or creating standoffs to show how much of a threat someone else is, she serves an essential role to the first half of the story for many of the characters she interacts with.

I’d like to highlight my top threads for her:
白色雑音 is a great scene for Isabel and Asha, because it’s the first time Isabel’s been actually halted in her tracks. This is very empowering for Asha as a character (even if she ultimately pays for it), and similarly depowering for Isabel. Which is good! Showing Isabel can be slowed down by people makes her much more engaging than being an unstoppable steamroller (we’ll touch on this again a bit later). It also sets up Dot, who is very important to the climax of Isabel’s story and the ultimate cycle of revenge, and that’s cool! There’s also some great dialogue in what’s otherwise a very action driven character story, so kudos to everyone involved!

TFW you will never find out what’s in the basement is my favourite Isabel kill, because again, it doesn’t go particularly well! Steve ultimately gets the last laugh by virtue of pissing Isabel off and taking all the fun out of the kill. He doesn’t even rob her of a kill mention, but he spits in her face and she is pissed. Again, this humanises Isabel some more, and was some excellent writing by both Maddie and Rattle. Give it a read!

End of the Line also gets a nod by virtue of how it portrays Isabel’s relationship with Astrid. I find it so narcissistic that Isabel would compare her having overbearing parents with Astrid being blinded in one eye at a young age. It’s almost as if she’s trying to take credit for Astrid dealing with her disability by virtue of knowing her, and that just makes me want to slap Isabel in the face if I wasn’t so sure she’d disembowel me. A great bit of characterisation between the two!

I’ll also give an honourable mention to Violence is Usually The Answer. The choreography in this fight is top notch (as is a Deamon staple), and it again serves to empower Kimiko by virtue of being the only person to go one on one with Isabel and walk away with her life, while also getting hits in. That’s a powerful effect for a character to have!

So you’ll see that my top scenes are all in context of how Isabel effects other characters. And that’s really good! SOTF is a collaborative piece, and if any of our characters can benefit another characters’ story, then I think that’s pretty damn great.

There is of course, the relationship between Isabel and Lily, but that doesn’t take place over a single thread so I can’t very well list all of them. Lily serves as a brilliant foil to Isabel, while at the same time being warped by her over time to the point where she isn’t really that much of a foil anymore. It’s a great touch in what could otherwise be a story lacking in relationships, and serves to break up the carnage some, so well done to both Maddie and Medic for that.

Now, on to the areas where I think Isabel could’ve been improved:

As mentioned, I think Isabel has an inconsistent voice at times. At others, I think she moves through her emotions and scenes a bit too fast. She dives into being ready to kill very quickly, which can come across as a bit jarring. There is an argument that you don’t want to spend too long building things up in a game like SOTF, so whether you think the story is better or worse for getting right to the point is up to you. She also processes her emotions quite fast in a few places, such as getting over the guilt of killing Conrad in all of three paragraphs. The death of Conrad itself also happens very quickly even within the posts, and perhaps would’ve benefitted from being more drawn out (like his guts). I would say that slowing down a bit for some scenes, and perhaps letting emotions sit for a while, would help with those feelings feeling less fleeting and more central to the story, if that’s what you want.

There are also a few cases where I’m not sure how I as the reader am supposed to feel that Maddie as the writer views Isabel. Her profile suggests she is charming and popular, but everyone she meets on the island even before all the killing seems to dislike her, and the charm doesn’t really come through so much as she just doesn’t put her foot in her mouth when she isn’t losing her temper. I’m also not entirely sure whether she’s actually supposed to be a psychopath/sociopath, or if that’s just a result of how she’s written and all the hijinks she gets up to.

My main gripe with Isabel comes with how she acts in fight scenes. Specifically, she accumulates quite a few smacks, stabs and cuts over the course of the island, but none of them ever seem to actually slow her down. Yes, she’s a ballerina who are tough as nails, and yes, she’s pissed off as hell about life, but I feel that there’s only so much a girl can accumulate before she starts to slow down, which she never really does. At times the fights also just seem to work out in her favour. This gets most egregious In Flowers Hurt. She is tasered by Asha, then immediately gets back up. She is shot at in a straight hallway by an unimpeded Min-Jae while dealing with Asha, and he misses twice. She gets stabbed in the ribs by Asha after a bunch of other injuries, and she seems to just walk it all off after a night of recovery. It’s a shame, because it does detract from what would otherwise be a very good climax of her relationship with Asha.

There are other cases like this, so I think it’s worth emphasising. I would recommend in the future to be more careful about how your characters injuries have tallied up, and try to keep an objective view of how they’d react to injuries rather than relying solely on powering through them. It’s probably better to avoid taking a hit at all in a fight than just outright ignoring it, though at the same time remember to make sure they get hurt from time to time. As I mentioned, I loved the scenes where Isabel was actually on the losing end. It’s certainly a balancing act.

I’ll briefly mention Isabel’s death thread because it’s a rather climatic scene: I thought it was well written and I enjoyed that Dot had the kill. I didn’t care for some parts of it, particularly how she powers through a sawblade to the stomach without even falling over, in order to kill Noah. There were also some parts where it was a bit hard to track what was going on, but that’s somewhat inevitable with a scene as large as that. A fitting end, on the whole.

In conclusion, Isabel is a relentless remorseless killing machine, as advertised. She is not perfect, and she has her rough spots that could be used to polish future characters. You have to have the right mindset reading her story to appreciate what Maddie was going for, I suspect, but if you do then she can be very enjoyable. She had a lasting impact on the plot and many characters, and was an all-around great contributor to the v6 story. Would recommend!

That was fun! I won't ask for another one just now though.

[Maraoone]

hi hello

will be editing the OP to reflect this, but I'll now be adding pregame-only characters to the mix, since there's a decent amount of threads there that will never get exposure otherwise. Thank you MS and Toben for the suggestion!

To clarify, pregame-only kids will be opt-in, since I'm aware there are some among us that would prefer to stick to island stuff. By opt-in, you have to specifically tell me, when asking for another kid, that you're willing to get a pregame-only kid.

[Maraoone]

aaaand i'm here with a write-up

[+] Sabrina Luz

So,

According to Toben's Word Count Project thread, Sabrina has a total of 1,073 words written for her during her stay on the island, making her the second-shortest read; only Jennifer Su, the first death, beats her in this metric. This, spread out over 14 posts, gives her an average of ~76.6 words per post. And that is where pretty much all of Sabrina's issues lie.

Her profile is actually an interesting read. She's stuck with this prepper family, she's a closeted lesbian who stays in hiding because her family can be casually homophobic, and she has to worry about her sister Emma, perhaps her closest friend, being diagnosed with narcolepsy as of late. NGL I find the fact that her breasts are so large that they end up as a disadvantage low-key hilarious. So, yeah, there's that stuff.

But, again, 76 words per post. There's only so much you can fit in that many words. I realize this issue isn't necessarily unique to Sabrina, but she's who I'm reviewing right now, so.

Minimalist writing can be chef's kiss when done right. Like, it can succinctly get to the heart of what you're trying to get across, it can provide a kick that tends to get lost in denser writing styles. But, in order for there to be a kick, in order for there to be a message, there needs to be space for that stuff to breathe, to be.

Here's a post from Sabrina.

"I don't know where we are! But as to why? They are monsters preying on the weak. We will have to show them they chose the wrong prey."

The boy stepped towards Sabrina, and offered her one of his hands.

"Come on. Let's get somewhere quiet."

Sabrina looked at him. He looked serious, like he actually wanted to help.

"O-okay. Where do you want to go?"

This post, at 69 words, is slightly shorter than average already. But then, the first three lines are extraneous. They are merely restating, summarizing actions and dialogue already presented in Alex Tarquin's previous post. They do not provide any commentary on said actions. They could be cut out. So, out of 69 words, only 21 actually add something new to the scene.

And this is how most other posts of hers go as well. Unnecessary summary of previous post, followed by bare actions and dialogue, maybe a line or two of her thoughts or reactions to someone else. You don't get to see any sense of inner conflict, you get one line from her entire story regarding her sister and how worried she is for her. There is no sense of interiority, almost no inner thought process. And, I realize that in her first scene, she is essentially shunted into the background of this party thread with......seven characters, I believe, and another death going on in front of her, and that is fine. Kids have to be background characters sometimes. But, even then, even if she doesn't have much to do, there is still so much more fleshing out that could be done.

Like, take this post I just quoted. What Alex is saying is pretty ominous. How does that make Sabrina feel? Does she find his word choice odd or does it not faze her? What does she think about his metaphor, about the terrorists being 'monsters preying on the weak?' Is she struck with fear at the thought of being preyed on? Has she decided that she won't allow herself to be prey?

And, why exactly does she decide to trust him? The prose says it looks like he wants to help, but why him of all people? Is she that desperate for company, and if so, why? Is it just that she wants to be with someone, anyone? Is there any lingering distrust at all, or will she just full-heartedly follow him wherever? What does she think about Alex? Does she know much about him, or not? What has she heard about his reputation?

I just wish we got to see more into Sabrina's character, because the posts, as they are, simply don't allow that. If I hadn't read her profile, all I would have been able to tell you about her is that she's scared, she has a sister named Emma she cares about, and she's lesbian. Not much else.

Regarding her death scene, it is nicely choreographed, to be fair, and this is where the minimalism actually plays in Sabrina's favor, since it makes the fight scene more punchy. I personally prefer fight scenes with shorter, punchier posts, so thank you for that. The death post is nice, I like how the italic thoughts are cut off. But, there's not much character here, because of the minimalism in play. You could replace Sabrina with any other character, I feel, and the death scene would be of a similar quality. It could be worse, though, so there's that.

Overall, I can't really recommend Sabrina, sorry. There's really not much to say about her, and the posts don't have much to say about her as well.

rolling myself another kid promptly

me!!!!: Scout Pfeiffer

[Kermit]

ill take one BECAUSE I KNOW NONE OF YOU ARE DOING YOUR READTHROUGHS

[Maraoone]

here u go nerd

korrmt - Nadia Riva

[Maraoone]

i got a request over PM so

toben - Steve Dobson

[Cicada]

This was my OG version so I have to do at least one.

Watch as I get some super long read.

[Maraoone]

you were one off from getting jeremy frasier i will forever mourn this potential cosmic joke that we were denied

ciccicicici - Amanda Tan

[Catche Jagger]

Roll me one, my dude