“Yeah, I’m done...” Marshall muttered as Jacob turned away from him.
He looked away in time to see California approaching. The glare almost immediately dissolved, as he brightened up enough to at least wave. With it, what little of the anger left dissolved immediately. Only to be replaced with guilt.
He’d never approved of punching people, and that was doubly true here. He should catch up with Jacob and stop him leaving, and at least check to see that he wasn’t injured. If Marshall’s hand hurt from clocking him in the face, then Jacob must be aching worse. At least he could walk under his own power, but--ugh, he shouldn’t have done that. What was wrong with him?
Still caught up in rage that was slowly giving way to guilt, he didn’t realise what was happening until Jacob was already on the ice. He’d thought Jacob was just walking around the edge of the lake until he was several feet out onto the ice already.
“Hey!” Marshall called out, speeding up to run to the edge of the lake. “It’s dangerous out there!”
Jacob was close enough still that if Marshall walked onto the ice, and was quick enough, he could reach Jacob before he neared dangerous territory and pull him back. Before he fell in like Jess did.
But Marshall’s feet stopped right at the ice, and wouldn’t go further. And Jacob hadn’t stopped walking away.
“Jacob! This isn’t funny! Come back!” Marshall shouted after him, panic evident in his voice.
The Golden Eel
Day 9, morning, mild content warning
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ViolentMedic
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At the sound of Marshall's voice, Jacob stopped in his tracks, head snapping back to glance at the shore. He wasn't sure what was more surprising: how far he had gone in such a short time or that Marshall was the one who happened to give enough of a shit to run after him. What a very interesting development. Just a few moments earlier, Marshall had been about to rip his head off, and now he was the one concerned about his safety? Perhaps there was more to that one than meets the eye. Emboldened by the attention, Jacob called out to him, the smile from before conspicuously absent from his face.
"I thought I was useless, right? Why do you care if I'm doing something dangerous?"
He turned away and continued walking, each step moving him further and further away from shore. Maybe he had made his point already, but the fact that doing this had caused someone to actually stop to worry about him was more than he could say about anything else he had done since he got to this island. Marshall's earlier words had just confirmed everything he had already been thinking. He was worthless, so unable to impact the world around him that two out of the three people on the shore barely even seemed to care that he was inches away from death. As soon as he went back to that shore, everyone would cease to care about him once more, and he'd either be forced to resort to the annoying mosquito act, or, more likely, just run away like he had done every other time.
As he continued walking, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a loud crack. It took him a moment to realize what it was, and by that time, it had already been followed by several more. Jacob tried to slowly back away from his position, but it was of now use. Before he even had time to cry out, the ice below him had finally given way, plunging him into the freezing water below.
"I thought I was useless, right? Why do you care if I'm doing something dangerous?"
He turned away and continued walking, each step moving him further and further away from shore. Maybe he had made his point already, but the fact that doing this had caused someone to actually stop to worry about him was more than he could say about anything else he had done since he got to this island. Marshall's earlier words had just confirmed everything he had already been thinking. He was worthless, so unable to impact the world around him that two out of the three people on the shore barely even seemed to care that he was inches away from death. As soon as he went back to that shore, everyone would cease to care about him once more, and he'd either be forced to resort to the annoying mosquito act, or, more likely, just run away like he had done every other time.
As he continued walking, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a loud crack. It took him a moment to realize what it was, and by that time, it had already been followed by several more. Jacob tried to slowly back away from his position, but it was of now use. Before he even had time to cry out, the ice below him had finally given way, plunging him into the freezing water below.
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ViolentMedic
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“I didn’t--”
He’d meant to say he didn’t mean it like that, but the words died in his throat. In the moment, he’d absolutely meant it. But only in the moment. Only while driven by fear that California wouldn’t be there, fear that made bitterness and annoyance become something else.
There was still fear there, but it was for Jacob now.
But he couldn’t find a way to explain it, couldn’t find the right way to walk it back, because--
That cracking noise hit him like a gunshot. All too familiar.
“You need to--”
What advice Marshall had – keep flat, move slow, don’t panic – died in his throat when Jes—Jacob plummeted through the ice.
Jacob wasn’t even that far out. He’d done this before, if he went out there and grabbed Jacob and pulled him out… if he did better this time, if he was fast enough, he could save Jacob. Not fail him like he’d failed Jess.
But the truth of what he risked going out there was so much more real than it’d been, that first day on the lake. In the frostbite speckling his face and the knowledge that Jess’ frozen corpse was out there in the snow. A truth that paralyzed him down to the bone.
He couldn’t even find the voice to call for Kai or California to help – and even if he could, he couldn’t send them where he wouldn’t go.
All he could do was stretch out his hands, like he could reach across the ice and pull Jacob out without taking a step.
He’d meant to say he didn’t mean it like that, but the words died in his throat. In the moment, he’d absolutely meant it. But only in the moment. Only while driven by fear that California wouldn’t be there, fear that made bitterness and annoyance become something else.
There was still fear there, but it was for Jacob now.
But he couldn’t find a way to explain it, couldn’t find the right way to walk it back, because--
That cracking noise hit him like a gunshot. All too familiar.
“You need to--”
What advice Marshall had – keep flat, move slow, don’t panic – died in his throat when Jes—Jacob plummeted through the ice.
Jacob wasn’t even that far out. He’d done this before, if he went out there and grabbed Jacob and pulled him out… if he did better this time, if he was fast enough, he could save Jacob. Not fail him like he’d failed Jess.
But the truth of what he risked going out there was so much more real than it’d been, that first day on the lake. In the frostbite speckling his face and the knowledge that Jess’ frozen corpse was out there in the snow. A truth that paralyzed him down to the bone.
He couldn’t even find the voice to call for Kai or California to help – and even if he could, he couldn’t send them where he wouldn’t go.
All he could do was stretch out his hands, like he could reach across the ice and pull Jacob out without taking a step.
Darkness surrounded Jacob as he sank, engulfed within the frigid water which seared through his clothes, numbing his skin within seconds. Panic clawed at his chest as he fought for solid ground, but the water was relentless, continually pulling him deeper into its icy embrace. Finally, he managed to surface, gasping for air as he scrabbled at the ice in front of him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to get a good grip - he was able to keep himself from sinking further, but that was it. Even if he did manage to start pulling himself up, what remained of the fragile surface would inevitably break beneath his weight once more.
He glanced over to the point on the shore where Marshall was standing, the terrified look on his classmate's face mirroring the expression of desperation on his own. The careless affect that Jacob had tried so hard to maintain in front of others had slipped away, its place taken by pure, unfiltered emotion. His fingers, once agile and full of life, were now clumsy and uncooperative, each passing moment making his grip falter more and more. There was no escape from this, only marking time while waiting for the end.
The passing minutes stretched into an eternity as his strength slowly faded away from him. To be perfectly honest, this was what he had hoped for, deep down: an end to all his pointless efforts, and a respite from the constant despair that seemed to occupy more and more of each day on this island. It was obvious that he was going to die eventually, so why not here? It wasn't like there was anything worth living for on the other side of the ice anyway.
Still, the primitive instinct for survival was difficult to ignore, even if he understood intellectually that he would be better off this way. Even putting aside the terror of staring into the face of his imminent demise, freezing to death in an icy lake was a lot more difficult of a way to go than he had initially anticipated. The pain was overwhelming, a burning ache that crept from his extremities to his core. With every second he felt more and more of his body shutting down, rapidly succumbing to the icy grip of death.
Eventually, he reached his limit. His body just couldn't take it anymore. Slowly, but surely, he began to slide back off of the frozen handhold that he had made, his frostbitten fingers unable to maintain their grip. He stared over Marshall, the two of them alone together in this desperate moment, both of them knowing exactly what was about to happen, with no way to do anything about it. It took an inordinate amount of effort, but he managed to raise an arm in a feeble wave of goodbye, a sort of thanks to Marshall for caring enough to watch him go. With one final, desperate gasp, Jacob let go of the edge, his body sinking beneath the water's surface for one final time.
S053: Jacob Lang - DECEASED
He glanced over to the point on the shore where Marshall was standing, the terrified look on his classmate's face mirroring the expression of desperation on his own. The careless affect that Jacob had tried so hard to maintain in front of others had slipped away, its place taken by pure, unfiltered emotion. His fingers, once agile and full of life, were now clumsy and uncooperative, each passing moment making his grip falter more and more. There was no escape from this, only marking time while waiting for the end.
The passing minutes stretched into an eternity as his strength slowly faded away from him. To be perfectly honest, this was what he had hoped for, deep down: an end to all his pointless efforts, and a respite from the constant despair that seemed to occupy more and more of each day on this island. It was obvious that he was going to die eventually, so why not here? It wasn't like there was anything worth living for on the other side of the ice anyway.
Still, the primitive instinct for survival was difficult to ignore, even if he understood intellectually that he would be better off this way. Even putting aside the terror of staring into the face of his imminent demise, freezing to death in an icy lake was a lot more difficult of a way to go than he had initially anticipated. The pain was overwhelming, a burning ache that crept from his extremities to his core. With every second he felt more and more of his body shutting down, rapidly succumbing to the icy grip of death.
Eventually, he reached his limit. His body just couldn't take it anymore. Slowly, but surely, he began to slide back off of the frozen handhold that he had made, his frostbitten fingers unable to maintain their grip. He stared over Marshall, the two of them alone together in this desperate moment, both of them knowing exactly what was about to happen, with no way to do anything about it. It took an inordinate amount of effort, but he managed to raise an arm in a feeble wave of goodbye, a sort of thanks to Marshall for caring enough to watch him go. With one final, desperate gasp, Jacob let go of the edge, his body sinking beneath the water's surface for one final time.
S053: Jacob Lang - DECEASED
It didn't look like nothing to California. It continued not to look like nothing as Jacob stepped out on the frozen ice of the lake.
"Kai," She breathed as she watched the boy stand there on the ice. As Marshall yelled for him to walk back.
Then, Jacob went from being there to not.
"Kai!" She yelled as Marshall rushed forward to help. Unconsciously, California grabbed Kai's hand and started to drag him towards the lake but only got a few steps before freezing herself. As she watched Jacob struggle and Marshall try to help him she wondered what they could do. They had no way of reaching Jacob and even if they could the ice was thin enough to break under their weight.
So she stood there, frozen in place like a sculpture, her grip on Kai's hand tightening until it was over and Jacob vanished beneath the water, to be collected in Rán's net.
Whatever it had been, at that moment it had returned to nothing.
"Kai," She breathed as she watched the boy stand there on the ice. As Marshall yelled for him to walk back.
Then, Jacob went from being there to not.
"Kai!" She yelled as Marshall rushed forward to help. Unconsciously, California grabbed Kai's hand and started to drag him towards the lake but only got a few steps before freezing herself. As she watched Jacob struggle and Marshall try to help him she wondered what they could do. They had no way of reaching Jacob and even if they could the ice was thin enough to break under their weight.
So she stood there, frozen in place like a sculpture, her grip on Kai's hand tightening until it was over and Jacob vanished beneath the water, to be collected in Rán's net.
Whatever it had been, at that moment it had returned to nothing.
Maybe he'd mostly been trying to convince himself that the trouble had passed. Kai had already started to turn as Marshall began yelling, and he didn't resist when Cali grabbed his hand and pulled him along. His heart dropped when he realized just what had happened. Déjà vu again.
Instead of running forward to help like he had back on the first day, Kai stopped dead and squeezed Cali's hand tight. She didn't feel like she was about to run out onto the ice, but he stood and anchored her to land anyway.
He blinked, and Jacob was gone.
"Marshall-" He began, and then just let the sentence die. Another crack in whatever foundation he stood on.
It wasn't murder, but it wasn't quite an accident. Hard to say if it was suicide. In the end, the cause didn't really matter. Jacob was gone.
Instead of running forward to help like he had back on the first day, Kai stopped dead and squeezed Cali's hand tight. She didn't feel like she was about to run out onto the ice, but he stood and anchored her to land anyway.
He blinked, and Jacob was gone.
"Marshall-" He began, and then just let the sentence die. Another crack in whatever foundation he stood on.
It wasn't murder, but it wasn't quite an accident. Hard to say if it was suicide. In the end, the cause didn't really matter. Jacob was gone.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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ViolentMedic
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It was too quick, and yet seemed to go forever. Watching Jacob scrabble at the ice, and being unable to make himself move forward to help him.
During that struggle, Jacob stared at him. Accusingly? Knowing that Marshall had driven him out there, knowing he could help but chose not to?
When he lifted an arm to wave good-bye, Marshall stretched his arm out a little further, one foot shifting forward, almost touching the ice. But Jacob sunk underneath the ice, and he didn’t resurface.
Kai said his name, but nothing else. He must have known, too. He’d seen Marshall scream at Jacob that he useless. Worthless. Over a petty joke that hadn't done any harm. What could he say to that?
“I… I…”
He lowered his hand finally. He could hear both Kai and California behind him. Reunited. With that last goal fulfilled, there was no other to keep him on his feet.
So he let his legs buckle, sliding down to sit on the cold ground in a heap. He continued to stare out at the hole in the ice that was the only sign Jacob had ever existed.
He'd killed Jacob as surely as he would have if he'd shot him in the head. If anything, that would have been more merciful.
During that struggle, Jacob stared at him. Accusingly? Knowing that Marshall had driven him out there, knowing he could help but chose not to?
When he lifted an arm to wave good-bye, Marshall stretched his arm out a little further, one foot shifting forward, almost touching the ice. But Jacob sunk underneath the ice, and he didn’t resurface.
Kai said his name, but nothing else. He must have known, too. He’d seen Marshall scream at Jacob that he useless. Worthless. Over a petty joke that hadn't done any harm. What could he say to that?
“I… I…”
He lowered his hand finally. He could hear both Kai and California behind him. Reunited. With that last goal fulfilled, there was no other to keep him on his feet.
So he let his legs buckle, sliding down to sit on the cold ground in a heap. He continued to stare out at the hole in the ice that was the only sign Jacob had ever existed.
He'd killed Jacob as surely as he would have if he'd shot him in the head. If anything, that would have been more merciful.
For the second time in as many days, California had witnessed a death and once again Marshall had been with her. She didn't want to assign any meaning to that fact, given the game they were being forced to play but it was still an unsettling coincidence.
There was what felt like a long period of silence after Jacob disappeared beneath the ice, during that time the only thing she could hear was Kai's breathing and the only thing she could feel was his grip on her hand. He tried to say something to Marshall but whatever it had been going to be died in his throat, asphyxiated by the suffocating reality of what had happened.
Meanwhile, Marshall collapsed to a seated position. He needed someone, and while she didn't really know him, she had been there for him before, when Chloe had passed. If she could be anything it was a friendly face for him. So, with obvious reluctance, she slid her hand free of Kai's firm grip and slowly stepped across the ice to the other boy. She took great care to avoid looking at the hole Jacob had disappeared into, not because she feared he would resurface, but because of the shocking absence of him where he had been only moments before.
"Hey," She said gently, lightly placing a hand on his shoulder, in nearly a mirror image of the same sequence of movements in the house. "Come on," She continued, inclining her head back towards where Kai was stood.
"Get away from the water."
There was what felt like a long period of silence after Jacob disappeared beneath the ice, during that time the only thing she could hear was Kai's breathing and the only thing she could feel was his grip on her hand. He tried to say something to Marshall but whatever it had been going to be died in his throat, asphyxiated by the suffocating reality of what had happened.
Meanwhile, Marshall collapsed to a seated position. He needed someone, and while she didn't really know him, she had been there for him before, when Chloe had passed. If she could be anything it was a friendly face for him. So, with obvious reluctance, she slid her hand free of Kai's firm grip and slowly stepped across the ice to the other boy. She took great care to avoid looking at the hole Jacob had disappeared into, not because she feared he would resurface, but because of the shocking absence of him where he had been only moments before.
"Hey," She said gently, lightly placing a hand on his shoulder, in nearly a mirror image of the same sequence of movements in the house. "Come on," She continued, inclining her head back towards where Kai was stood.
"Get away from the water."
Maybe coming here had been a mistake. Kai chosen the lake as one of their meeting options because it was a landmark that was easy to find and a place he and Marshall were familiar with. He hadn't thought enough about why they were familiar with it.
Kai didn't believe in signs or omens or whatever, but he believed in bad luck. In hindsight - in the awful silence left after Jacob disappeared under the water - coming back to the place where Jess had fallen through the ice just a day before she died felt like an obvious invitation to bad luck.
Cali stepping forward finally gave him the ability to move too. It didn't feel like there was anything he could say about what had just happened. Even in his mind, it all rang hollow. Instead, he stepped forward to Marshall's other side and reached down to help him up.
"Come on," he said softly. "Let's get out of the open."
Kai didn't believe in signs or omens or whatever, but he believed in bad luck. In hindsight - in the awful silence left after Jacob disappeared under the water - coming back to the place where Jess had fallen through the ice just a day before she died felt like an obvious invitation to bad luck.
Cali stepping forward finally gave him the ability to move too. It didn't feel like there was anything he could say about what had just happened. Even in his mind, it all rang hollow. Instead, he stepped forward to Marshall's other side and reached down to help him up.
"Come on," he said softly. "Let's get out of the open."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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ViolentMedic
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California placed a hand on his shoulder. Kai helped him up. They both spoke softly to him.
They were treating him so kindly, like he hadn’t killed Jacob with harsh words.
When he was on his feet, there was a moment’s pause before Marshall stepped away, yanking himself from their kindness and putting a couple of step’s distance between them. Just a couple.
It would have been best if he left. But if he did, where would he go? What would he do? Plus, he had some of Katelyn’s weapons in his bag, but no idea which ones. And the tobacco for California. He couldn’t leave.
“Somewhere… warmer...” was all he managed to say.
Follow them to somewhere warmer. Enough of an objective to get him through the night.
He stared at the hole in the lake for a little longer, then lifted one hand slightly, mirroring Jacob waving at him right before sinking. Then he turned away, ready to follow California and Kai for a little while longer.
((Marshall West continued in Reefer Sadness.))
They were treating him so kindly, like he hadn’t killed Jacob with harsh words.
When he was on his feet, there was a moment’s pause before Marshall stepped away, yanking himself from their kindness and putting a couple of step’s distance between them. Just a couple.
It would have been best if he left. But if he did, where would he go? What would he do? Plus, he had some of Katelyn’s weapons in his bag, but no idea which ones. And the tobacco for California. He couldn’t leave.
“Somewhere… warmer...” was all he managed to say.
Follow them to somewhere warmer. Enough of an objective to get him through the night.
He stared at the hole in the lake for a little longer, then lifted one hand slightly, mirroring Jacob waving at him right before sinking. Then he turned away, ready to follow California and Kai for a little while longer.
((Marshall West continued in Reefer Sadness.))
It was sad seeing Marshall the way he was. The two losses so close together, and no true victories to speak of, at least none of the fashion he seemed to want. But California didn't know how to help him, not with her words. She wasn't good at comforting people, it was always challenging to find the right things to say, to figure out what exactly they wanted or needed to hear. So she didn't say anything, instead opting to stay silent, the natural state she supposed.
Kai suggested they get out of the open, which sounded like the correct thing to do. They couldn't spend too long standing around by where Jacob and Marshall had been shouting, eventually, someone would emerge looking to investigate what had been happening. Given her far through the game they found themselves it seemed less and less likely the person that appeared would be friendly towards them either.
She nodded along to the two boys' words and then turned and looked for the best way to go.
"Yeah, let's get away from here."
((California Fox continued elsewhere...))
Kai suggested they get out of the open, which sounded like the correct thing to do. They couldn't spend too long standing around by where Jacob and Marshall had been shouting, eventually, someone would emerge looking to investigate what had been happening. Given her far through the game they found themselves it seemed less and less likely the person that appeared would be friendly towards them either.
She nodded along to the two boys' words and then turned and looked for the best way to go.
"Yeah, let's get away from here."
((California Fox continued elsewhere...))
Warmer. Kai couldn't think of any place that he'd visited on the island that had been warm. Sheltered, maybe. Quiet. Out of the elements. Those were the best that the island had to offer.
But he knew how to make a fire. He could do that much. Create some warmth for them himself.
As Cali and Marshall started walking, Kai backtracked to where he'd left the bundle of weapons he had taken for Kitty. He gathered them into his arms and then hurried to follow. Maybe it didn't make much of a difference whether he took or left them at this point, but he felt too uneasy leaving them out in the open.
Jacob had taken everyone's attention for a short while, but he knew that sooner or later, he'd have to explain why what he was carrying didn't account for everything he and Kitty had had. Why he hadn't fought her for every last scrap. Put a stop to everything when he had the chance.
How soon that explanation had to come probably rested on Kitty and what she chose to do next. Whether or not she'd chosen to heed the message he had tried to send her.
They'd all know in the morning.
((Kai Rosado-Prince continued in Reefer Sadness))
But he knew how to make a fire. He could do that much. Create some warmth for them himself.
As Cali and Marshall started walking, Kai backtracked to where he'd left the bundle of weapons he had taken for Kitty. He gathered them into his arms and then hurried to follow. Maybe it didn't make much of a difference whether he took or left them at this point, but he felt too uneasy leaving them out in the open.
Jacob had taken everyone's attention for a short while, but he knew that sooner or later, he'd have to explain why what he was carrying didn't account for everything he and Kitty had had. Why he hadn't fought her for every last scrap. Put a stop to everything when he had the chance.
How soon that explanation had to come probably rested on Kitty and what she chose to do next. Whether or not she'd chosen to heed the message he had tried to send her.
They'd all know in the morning.
((Kai Rosado-Prince continued in Reefer Sadness))
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."